一分钟准备 伙计们
One minute, people.
我还需要给希尔维亚补下妆
I still have to do touch-ups on Sylvia.
跟我说这个干嘛
What are you telling me for?
希尔维亚到底在哪
Where the hell is Sylvia?
爱荷华州 奶牛
Hi, Iowa. How now, brown cow.
戴尔
Hey, Dale?
情况怎么样 乔西
Yeah, yeah. How's it going, Josh?
还不错
It's okay.
戴尔 希尔维亚似乎不见了
Look, Dale, Sylvia seems to be M.I.A.
太不专业了
Well, that's not very professional.
是的 不专业
No, no, it's not.
非常不专业 我认为
Damn unprofessional, if you ask me.
我同意
And I agree.
你知道她可能在哪吗
Any idea where she may be?
我怎么会知道呢 乔西
Now, how would I know that, Josh?
我又不是气象女孩的监护人 对吧
I'm not my weather girl's keeper, right?
对吧
Right?
气象女孩
是 但25秒后我们的直播就要开始了
Yeah, it's just that we're on in about 25 seconds,
我知道你和她很亲密
And I know you and she are close.
所以如果你知道她可能在哪的话
So if you have any idea where she may be...
乔西 我的私生活是我个人的事
Josh, my personal life is my business.
这点清楚了吗
Are we clear on that?
清楚了吗
Are we?
当然
Sure.
玛丽
Mary!
我正在找她
I'm going now.
米勒女士
Ms. Miller?
米勒女士 大家都在等你 而且
Ms. Miller, everybody's waiting, and
20秒后直播就开始了
We're on in 20 seconds.
她没回应
She's not answering.
我真的不...
I don't really...
找到她了
I got her.
天啊 希尔维亚
Jesus christ, Sylvia.
这样不好 希尔
Not cool, Syl.
不好
Not cool.
好了 找到她了
All right, we got her.
好的 10秒准备
All right, 10 seconds.
把镜头对准她
Rolling at her.
这里是西雅图早间新闻
This is Seattle morning
主持人戴尔·沃特斯和雪莉·沃伦
With Dale Waters, Sherry Warren,
还有活泼的气象女孩希尔维娅·米勒
And sassy weather girl Sylvia Miller.
倒计时
Count it off.
5 4...
5, 4...
3 2...
3, 2...
真是个美妙的早晨
What a great morning.
是的 戴尔
Not too shabby, Dale.
早上好 西雅图
Good morning, Seattle.
早上好 雪利
And good morning to you, Sherry.
早上好 戴尔
Good morning to you, Dale.
你今天的气色真好 雪利
You look great this morning, Sherry.
别再说了
Stop it.
真让我脸红
You're making me blush.
不 我是认真的
No, seriously.
你的气色很好 真的
You look great, seriously.
她的气色不好吗
Doesn't she look great?
拜托
Come on, you.
我们跟气象女孩打个招呼吧
Let's say hello to our sassy weather girl.
-早上好 希尔维亚 -早上好 希尔维亚
-Good morning, Sylvia. -Good morning, Sylvia.
希尔维亚话筒有问题吗 什么
Did we lose Sylvia? What?
怎么了 她没说话
What's going on? She's not talking.
很明显这里会有一场降雨 希尔维亚
The rain is sure coming down out there, Sylvia.
这种情形会持续多久
How long is it gonna go on like this?
会持续到永远 戴尔
Forever, Dale.
这里是西雅图
This is Seattle.
你没注意到吗
In case you haven't noticed,
这里的天气很糟糕
The weather here sucks.
我却认为很浪漫 戴尔
Well, I think it's romantic, Dale.
请转到3号♥镜头
Go to camera 3, please.
和你心爱的人在雨中漫步
...A stroll in the rain with your sweetheart.
天啊 闭嘴
God, shut up.
闭嘴 闭嘴 你这个聒噪的婊♥子♥
Shut up, shut up, you squeaky little bitch.
我们不是平白无故
We don't call her
叫她"我们活泼的气象女孩"的
"Our sassy weather girl" for nothing, folks.
-我们先进段广♥告♥吧 -好的
-Let's go to a commercial. -Okay.
你知道吗 戴尔
You know what, Dale?
在进广♥告♥之前
Before we do that,
我想跟正在收看节目的观众
There is something that I would like to share
分享一点事情
With our viewing audience.
我想那不是个好主意 希尔维亚
Well, I don't think that's such a great idea, Sylvia.
我才不在乎你怎么想 你这个自大狂
I don't care what you think, you arrogant prick.
事实上 你为什么只是傻坐在那
In fact, why don't you just sit there
看上去跟蠢猪一样
And look stupid.
随便你怎么做 就是不要切断
Whatever you do, do not cut.
不要切断
Do not cut.
我想把这一小段称之为
So this is a little segment that I like to call
西雅图早间节目背后的故事
"Behind the scenes of Seattle morning."
我的天
My god.
你们中的许多人可能不知道
Many of you may not know,
但自从我开始在这儿工作
But from the moment that I started working here,
看起来魅力无限的戴尔·沃特斯
Our seemingly charming co-host Dale Waters
就已经跟我搞在一起了
Has been all over me like a cheap suit.
日复一日
Day after day,
当我站在这幅愚蠢的地图前面
As I stood in front of this stupid map
反复地试图寻找新的形容词
Repeatedly trying to find new adjectives
来描述"雨"这个词
To describe the word "rain"...
我该怎么做
What do I do?
我一直排斥着装嗲
I've been fighting off the infantile
和那个男人讨厌的示爱
And often offensive advances of that guy.
就是这样 女士们 他很贪婪
That's right, ladies. He's grabby.
把镜头对准戴尔
Go to Dale.
但你们知道吗 最不值一提的原因
But you know, for a plethora of reasons,
不只是我已经35岁了 还单身
Not the least of which being I am 35, single,
偶尔也感到寂寞
And, yeah, occasionally lonely,
我接受了他的示好
I gave in to his advances.
我们有过几次
And we had several, you know,
可以算是令人扫兴的相遇
What could only be described as disappointing encounters.
抱歉
Sorry.
尽管他的做♥爱♥技巧很差
But despite the amateurish sex,
我还是莫名其妙地傍上了
I somehow developed an attachment
那个坐在椅子上的道貌岸然的男人
To the walking haircut sitting in that chair.
我们同居了
We moved in together
开始了一段无聊乏味 没有激♥情♥的生活
And began to share a boring, stagnant, passionless life.
她到底在做什么
What the hell is she doing?
乔治 帮帮我
George, help me.
-把灯关掉 -不 不 不
-Cut the lighting! -No, no, no, no.
什么也别关 这多好看
Do not cut anything. This is good TV.
她已经失去理智了
She has lost her mind.
确切的说 直到今天早上
That is, until this morning,
在戴尔来到摄影室的时候
When after Dale had already left for the studio,
我发现了这个
I found these.
这不是我的
They're not mine.
继续 希尔维亚
You go, Sylvia.
这是我们的艾美奖 这就是
There's our Emmy. This is it.
这条女式内♥裤♥
Now, these are a pair of panties
很不幸的 我看到了
That I've unfortunately witnessed
这位有裸♥露♥癖的主持人穿了好几次了
My exhibitionist cohost wearing on several occasions.
你跟他睡了多久了 雪利
How long have you been sleeping with him, Sherry?
好吧 请把4号♥镜头对准雪利
All right, number 4 to Sherry, please.
说的好 雪利
Well put, Sherry.
我现在要跟这份
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