第零军团

去年夏天 妈妈给了我这个手电筒
Last summer, Mama gave me
说它可以给外星人发送信♥号♥♥
this flashlight to signal the aliens.
她说 当然有外星人了
She said, "Of course there's life out there.
好了 出去联♥系♥吧
Now go outside."
现在就只有我和你们这些宇宙中的外星人了
But now it's just me and you all, the aliens of the universe,
如果你们能听见
so if you can hear me...
我叫克里斯莫斯·弗林特 女性人类
I am Christmas Flint, human female.
我想你们会喜欢我
I think you'd like me.
也会想和我做朋友的
I think you'd want to be my friend.
第零军团
可恶
Dang it.
得克萨斯
土星
水星
冥王星
木星
火星
天王星
金星
别在书上再滴番茄酱了
And I don't want no ketchup stains on those pages again.
知道了 女士
Yes, ma'am.
妈妈相信声波会传到宇宙中去
Mama believed that sound waves travel out into the universe.
她说 如果我觉得孤单
She said that if I ever got lonely,
就把我的信息发出去好了
I should just send my message out.
-约瑟夫 -好了 把球给我
- Joseph! - All right, give me the ball.
给
Uh-huh. Here you go.
乔治亚州 威格尼镇 1977年
我是拉姆塞·弗林特律师
Ramsey Flint, attorney-at-law.
-怎么样了 老板 -怎么样 老大
- What it is, boss? - What it is, boss.
等等 乔·法兰克 我是你的律师
Now, hold up, Joe Frank. I'm your attorney.
对 你得听我的
Yeah, you got to listen to me.
现在不是产权纠纷的问题了
Not about the property line now.
乔·法兰克 那是辆大拖拉机
That is a big tractor, Joe Frank.
我从法律的角度建议你
I'd advise you get out of the way.
把你的车挪开
This is legal advice.
你不饿吗
You not hungry?
不 我在和我的狗说话
No, I'm talking to the dog.
嘿 我在救你的小命
Hey, I'm just trying to save your life.
他就是老板
That's the boss man.
我的爸爸
He's my dad.
见鬼
Damn it.
他尽力了
He's doing his best.
亏了那么多钱不能怪他
It aren't his fault he loses so much.
-我的裤子呢 -妈妈去世后
- Where are my pants? - Since Mama died,
他失去了一切
he's been losing everything.
老大 你觉得我们说完话后
Boss, when we're done talking,
我们的话会一直传到宇宙吗
you think our words travel out into the universe forever?
我希望不要吧
I sure as heck hope not.
我发誓
I swear...
如果再拿不到钱 我就要杀人了
I'm gonna pop somebody, I don't get my damn money.
蕾琳女士
Miss Rayleen?
我得出去一下
I got to go down,
去看看住在利夫奥克的乔·法兰克
take care of Joe Frank in Live Oak.
先穿裤子吧
Wear your pants.
别人欠你400美元你不管
You 400 in the hole, and you talking
你却嚷嚷着去看乔·法兰克
about Joe Frank.
你听着
Now, listen...
那就是蕾琳女士
That's Miss Rayleen.
她是个星际战士
She's an intergalactic warrior.
知道吗 虽然你是老板 但却是个烂老板
You know what? You the boss, but you a broke-ass boss.
她不得不在这里为我爸爸打工
But she crash-landed here,
没去上法学院
working for my dad instead of going to law school.
帮助别人不会错
Aren't nothing wrong helping somebody.
当然 她还是你见过的最睿智的人
Still, she's the smartest person you're gonna meet.
这事我们以后再说
We can discuss this later.
我得先找到我的裤子 你动了我裤子吗
I got to find my pants. You move my pants?
我碰都没碰你的裤子
I don't have anything to do with your pants.
你好 拉姆塞先生 我还没钱付你
Mr. Ramsey, hi. I can't pay you yet,
不过我给你带了一些鳄梨
but I brought you some avocados.
-什么梨 -鳄梨
- Avo-what? - A-Avocados.
上帝就这么叫蛋黄酱的
It's the good Lord's way of saying "mayonnaise."
我们会很快帮你拿回钱的
Uh, we'll get your payment soon.
你需要的不是蛋黄酱
You don't need no mayonnaise.
你需要的是钱
You need some money.
你知道你银行账户里还有几个钱吗
You know how much you have in your bank account?
-不多了 我知道 -你 -谢谢你 女士
- I do. It aren't pretty. - You pay... - Th-Thank you, miss.
不用管她
You pay her no mind.
-大家都在尽力去做 -我要去露台
- Everybody's doing their best. - I'm going to the deck.
我受够你了
I'm doing my best not to whup your ass.
老大 等等
Boss... h-hold up.
但我要去联♥系♥外星人
Got to make contact, though.
你总不能戴着那个东西乱走吧
I know you aren't walking around looking like that.
把它取下来
Take that off.
看看你的头发
Look at that hair.
别人还以为你是狼孩呢
People gonna think you were raised by wolves.
♪ 噢 我是一位厉害的辩护人 ♪
♪ Oh, yes, I'm the great defender... ♪
-你好 老板 -你好 德韦恩
- What it is, boss. - What it is, Dwayne.
你好 蕾琳女士
What it is, Miss Rayleen.
如果不是超过200美元的失窃案件
If it aren't $200 for the petty theft,
就不要讲了
I don't want to hear it.
稍微等一下好吗 我现在得去法服
That can wait. I'm gonna need his services, actually.
出发吧 准备好辩护
Let's go. Prepare to fall out.
乔·法兰克又进局子了
Joe Frank got himself arrested again.
我们得去保释他
We got to go bail him out.
我的裤子原来在这儿啊 终于找到了
Hey, there are my pants. All right.
似乎人们都疯了
People aren't got no sense.
老大 别抓你的头发 会成鸡窝的
Boss, don't you touch that hair! You'll mess it up!
乖女儿 能帮爸爸拿瓶啤酒吗
You be a real sweet, go grab me a beer?
我知道你也会给德韦恩先生拿一瓶的
Now, I know you already offered one to Mr. Dwayne.
-她是不是很乖 -像极了她妈妈
- Isn't she sweet? - Just like her mama.
我打不开
I can't do it.
嘿 你干嘛
Hey. What the hell?
为什么要提她妈妈
Why'd you say that?
不不不
No, no, no, no, no, no.
老大 看着
Like this, boss.
这样就开了
That's how it go.
啤酒之王 碰碰杯
King of Beers. Clink it up.
啤酒之王
King of Beers.
跟你讲啊
Mmm. Tell you what.
联♥系♥到外星人之前 你可不能打退堂鼓啊
You don't back down till you reach them aliens, huh?
把那瓶酒给我
Give me that.
说不定外星人会来
Maybe they can come down here
还可以照顾你什么的
and babysit or something.
遵命 长官
Sir, yes, sir.
好吧 走 绒绒
Uh, all right, come on, Fluffy.
你们在家好好的
You all have a good time.
德韦恩 走了
Dwayne, fall out!
蕾琳女士
Miss Rayleen?
你能帮我把手电筒调亮一点吗
Can you help me get my flashlight brighter?
你又想上露台了吗
You going up on that deck again?
我不知道
Mm, I don't know.
你就没几个小闺蜜吗
Don't you have any girlfriends?
-这不有你呢嘛 -嗯
- I got you. - Uh-uh.
我不是你的朋友 我是大人
I'm not a friend. I'm a grown-up.
那我就没有了
Then I guess no.
你那厉害的小男伴呢
What about that little sparkly friend?
他的爸爸正在教他练橄榄球
His daddy's making him football-practice.
上帝可怜可怜那男孩吧
God help that boy.
学校里也没有吗
Nobody at school?
他们都说我尿裤子 但我没有
They all say I pee myself, even though I don't.
没尿 我知道
No. No, no, no, I know.
那是什么
What's that?
睫毛夹
It's a curler.
做什么用的
What's it for?
使你的睫毛看起来更长
Make your eyelashes look longer.