情敌复仇战

我们也要去找油漆工
Oh! And we need a check for the painter, too.
抱歉 不好意思 我很快回来
Sorry. Do you mind? I'll just be a sec.
你想要找不会八卦的人
As far as talking to someone who won't blab,
不 我不能黏着胶带工作
No! I can't go to work with my tits taped!
穿看看这双 这双很特别
Try these on. These ones are very special.
-亲一下再走 -好了够了
One kiss and good-bye. Okay, that was it.
凯特 你还记得我的合伙人 尼克
Kate, you remember my partner, Nick.
所以我今晚要待在城里
So I'm just gonna stay in the city tonight.
-不要生气嘛 -我没有生气
-Don't be mad. -I'm not being anything.
我知道的话就没办法替你辩护
I can't defend you if I know you did it.
-不 不 你不能 -什么 怎样
-No. No. You can't... -What? What?
没有 你跟调查局有问题吗
No! Do you have a problem with the Feds?
我不知道为什么男人会觉得这样很辣
I don't know why men find these sexy.
不 不行 如果你对你老公
No, we can't. If you have any questions
你会希望你一开始就离开他
wishing you'd left the first time around.
我想他有点怀疑了
and I think he's getting a little suspicious.
但为了你好 我希望你在说谎
but for your sake, I hope you're lying.
-你要去哪 -我要做伏地挺身
-Where are you going? -To do push-ups.
马克还可以在你不知道的情况
Mark was able to lead a whole other life
我是卡莉 你就是他的管家吧
I'm Carly. You must be his housekeeper.
我们没有竞争 我们被同一个
We're not in competition. We got played
我知道烂人都怎么做烂事
I know how assholes do asshole-y things...
天啊 我很喜欢这个主意
Oh, my God! I am obsessed with that idea.
但这只是我的意见 他是你老公
But that's just me. He's your husband.
我以为他们已经分手 但
I thought she was his ex-mistress, but...
跟马克说你的新朋友卡莉吗
mentioning your new friend Carly to Mark?
我不知道 我喝了酒 然后
I don't know! There's been wine, and...
我们不能给他的 性♥爱♥
The one thing we're not giving him... sex.
你说你要去巴哈马
Did you just say something about the Bahamas?
我在监狱会被欺负 快开回去
I will wind up in gen pop. Turn around.
应该有栓还是啥
There's got to be a little latch or something.
感谢你逼我当你的朋友
For basically forcing me to be your friend.
醒醒 你在跟你的狗接吻
Wake up. You're making out with your dog.
我的拉链夹到了我的项链
my zipper just got caught on my necklace.
-你看到了 -他加班后过来
-You saw him? -He came over after work
我还天真以为我们是朋友
I was crazy to think we could be friends.
也许我们其中一个应该跟他做♥爱♥
Maybe one of us should sleep with him.
不 我跟你说一定有问题
No, I'm telling you something feels off.
我觉得我应该参加大脑训练营
I feel like I need to go to brain camp.
他们想要冷酷无情的人...
They wanted a ruthless law robot, so...
但这里真的很有问题
but there's something very wrong with that.
我是说 他跟你说过他爱你吗
I mean, has he ever said he loves you?
不 我看的到你 从窗户出去
No, I can see you. Go out the window.
不 你不是觉得他是大坏蛋吗
No. You think he's an evil sociopath.
为了庆祝一下 有人要喝酒吗
On that happy note, who needs a drink?
风水很好 因为知道
Feng shui is good 'cause it's important...
她们脑袋有点问题
They're having some kind of group breakdown.
在过去几条路的克拉克街上
Lives a couple of streets over on Clark.
有人太负面了 我要走了
Somebody's being negative. I'm gonna go.
我嫁给一个怪物不是你的错
It's not your fault I married a monster.
你只是一直在骂我
You mostly just yelled at me the whole time.
好吧 你知道吗 风水很有用
Okay, you know what? Feng shui rules.
想想看 我们两个加起来
Think about it. Between the two of us...
我讨厌你说风水的坏话
And I hate that you keep saying it's dumb!
你不哭了我才能跟你谈
I can't talk to you until you stop crying.
不 你现在要回康乃狄克
Oh, no! You're going to Connecticut now?
我就放弃然后说我有性病
I chickened out and said I had Chlamydia!
谢谢你 这对我意义重大
Wow! Thank you. That really means a lot.
我也是 我希望很快再见到你
You, too. I hope I see you again soon.
会有段时间不好过
Well, it's going to suck for a little while.
也没有赘肉也不需要除毛...
and have no flab and not need a wax...
天啊 不 他走过来了
Oh, hell, no! Now he's crossed the line!
所以你不会打给他 关静音
So you haven't called him, full silent
他来看办公室 我送你离开
He'll look at the office while you go.
我不知道 所以我不是小三
I didn't know, so I'm not a mistress.
我可以问他要不要改成明晚
I'll see if he can meet tomorrow night.
如果我们明天才要回去的话
Well, if we don't leave until tomorrow,
他不是失去钱 他是抢钱
He ain't losing money, he's robbing it.
我最后一次单身才 24 岁
The last time I was single, I was 24
但这不表示我在乎其他人
It's not like I cared about any of them.
你还是继续跟我老公上♥床♥吗
Are you still sleeping with my husband?
要不是你这么恶烂
If you weren't as disgusting as you were...
我要先选里面的食物
And I get first dibs on what's in the bag.
-真不可思议 -他根本没注意
-Incredible. -He didn't even notice!
我需要裤子 而唯一不会
I needed some pants and the only person
说完了吗 根本就没开始谈
Done? That wasn't even a conversation.
也许我们应该先喝个酒聊一下
Maybe we should have a drink and talk.
你就会变成对手 如果他以为
you become the enemy. If he thinks...
有时候我会对人比较严格
Sometimes I can be more tough than love.
你才是他的灵魂伴侣 我只是坏女人
You're his soul mate. I'm a whore.
我也许不是永远正确 但
I might not always get it right, but...
有任何疑问 你应该问他
about your husband, you should ask him.
我听到他跟人说话 他跟某人交往
I heard, and he's meeting somebody!
现在我就像戴旧手套一样顺利
Now I'm all worn in like an old glove.
而且还用这个谎言跟我离婚
And then divorces me for fake-cheating?
你应该对我好一点
You should think about being nicer to me...
他们喜欢你换换卡的点子
The guys loved your gift card swap idea.
你以为我们会让姊妹一个人去吗
You think we could let a sister down?
你跟我老公做♥爱♥五十次
You had sex with my husband fifty times?!
宝贝 传给我照片 好吗
Oh, baby, send me a picture, will you?
我懂了 事情都准备好了
I get it. Things are coming into focus.
但如果你想聊的话 也可以
But if you want to talk, we can. Sure.
你好 我叫凯特 我星期五见过你
Hi. I'm Kate. I met you on Friday.
我认真说 就像是...
now I'm totally serious, like... not...
今天还可以更糟吗
Huh, could this day get any worse? Really?!
你知道有时候你会...
you know how sometimes you get like a...
我们要干嘛 我们要去哪
what we're doing, where we're going...
所以你是说我应该继续在一起
You're saying I should stay with him.
我希望不要再传给我照片了
I wish he stopped sending me pictures!
等到她闹够了
And when she's done running around with you,
-你不是小三 -谢谢
-Oh. You're not a mistress. -Thank you.
她不是妓♥女♥ 只是很好色
She's not a hooker. She's just a slut.
-他是建筑师 -建筑师
-He's a contractor. -Oh, a contractor.
-再见 -好 忘了我打过电♥话♥
-Good-bye. -Fine. Forget I called.
我去拿些酒 你喝威士忌吧
I'll get us some drinks. Scotch okay?
哭在心里面 像个胜利者
Then cry on the inside, like a winner.
马克不会常看你裸体吗
Doesn't Mark see you naked all the time?
我只能说我坚强抵抗我的意志
Let's say I was hedging my willpower.
我再寄支票赔偿你的花瓶
Um. I'll send you a check for your urn.
在那里...我们的终点
Oh, there it is... the end of the road.
我会 但我很确定
Oh, well, I would, but I'm pretty sure...
不 不要走 我要亲一下
No, don't go just yet. Just one kiss.
也许我应该跟你♥爸♥当面讲
Maybe I should just tell him in person.
我们的脚不同大小吧
I don't think we have the same size foot.
一旦这样的话 我就得拉筋
When that happens, I have to stretch.
他如果没有钱就不用给
He can't give away what he doesn't have.
可以去躺在沙滩上晒一晒
You could go lay on a beach and get tan
开着吗 窗户 开关在哪
Does this open? The window? Anywhere?
所以你只能用枕头抵抗我
So you needed the pillows to resist me.
我们可以穿正式服装
We'll get dressed up and you can see...
我听到马克跟她讲电♥话♥...
I heard him on the phone with her...
你们几个开始喝龙舌兰酒
You girls started in on the tequila...
他还是把我当作一无所知
He's still treating me like I'm blind.
你知道 说不定你都搞错了
You know, what the hell do you know?
我简直就像是中年危机的小三
It's like a midlife crisis mistress!
我想你对你自己太严格了
I think you're being hard on yourself.
才能让你觉得良好很重要
in order to make yourself feel better.
偶尔也要让蒸汽排出锅子
Just to let some steam out of the pot.
你不是说只是涂红色油漆
What happened to just painting it red?
好 但是你不会喜欢的
Okay, but you're not going to like it.