他和她的孤独情事：他

如果我不付饭钱 你还会爱我吗
Would you still love me if I couldn't pay for dinner?
大概会吧
Possibly.
好
Yeah.
我们要怎么办
What do we do?
让我想想
I'm thinking.
我们可以大吵一架
We, we could have a big row.
干点出格的事 他们就会轰我们走
And... and throw some shit. They might kick us out.
我之前这么干过 太引人注目了 不好
Uh, been done, and it would draw too much attention.
你干嘛呢
Wh... What are you doing?
我把鞋脱了
I'm taking my shoes off.
我先走
I'm going to leave first,
然后你看准时间
and then when the time is right,
比如服务员没注意到你的时候
like when the maitre d's not, um, looking...
你就赶紧跑 我在街上等你
you meet me down the street.
先生 结♥帐♥
Uh, excuse me, sir?
快跑 快跑
Hey, run! Run, run, run!
混♥蛋♥
Fucker!
亲爱的
Baby!
你还好吗
Are you OK?
快跑没气了
Oh, I'm dying.
我们好赞啊
That was so epic!
我们甩掉他了吗
Well, did we lose him?
不知道
I don't know.
真的 都不知道他们追没追
Really, did they even chase us?
怎么了
What?
看啊 看啊
Hey, hey, hey, look, look, look. Look at them.
多漂亮 是吧
This is pretty good, isn't it?
是啊
Yeah, it is.
怎么
What?
我只有一颗心
There's only one heart in this body.
对我仁慈点 好吗
Have mercy on me.
闭嘴
Shut up.
咱这是听啥呢
What the fuck are we listening to?
我生活的主题曲
The soundtrack of my life.
挺好
That's nice.
能不能趁我还没投河自尽 把这歌♥赶紧换了
Can we change it before I dive off a bridge?
那你想听什么
Oh, there's something you would rather listen to?
无所谓 只要不是这种
I don't care, just something
难听到让我想自杀的就好
that doesn't make me want to kill myself?
-康纳 只是首歌♥而已 -快换了吧
-It's just a song, Conor. -Come on, change it.
-要咖啡吗 -算了
-Coffee? -Eh, I'm good with that.
-谢谢 -那好
-Thank you. -Great.
你混♥蛋♥的本事越来越高了
You know, you're developing a real talent for being an asshole.
等你到我这岁数 你也会变得这么混♥蛋♥
Well, when you grow up, you can too.
你们这都生气啥呢
What are you all pissy about?
我就等你来同情我呢
There is the compassion I've been looking for.
是啊 我生来就干这个的
That's what I'm here for.
你故意的嘛 亚历克西斯
Seriously, Alexis?
咋了
What?
-这一点也不好笑 -我觉得挺好笑
-It's not funny. It's not funny. -It's kind of funny.
快换了吧
Change it?
不换
No.
换吧
Change it.
天噜
Whoa!
你刚才砸的 是你自己店里的东西
That was yours, just so you know.
别这么混♥蛋♥ 兄弟
Oh, pull your head out of your ass, man.
你管我
Blow me.
我出去走走
I'm gonna go take a stroll.
行 你小心点儿
All right. Hey, be careful.
外面的世界很危险
It's a dangerous world out there.
那是
Apparently.
爱你
Love you.
你好啊 拉尔夫
Hey, Ralph.
几点了
What time is it?
六点半
6:30.
你今天出门了吗
You get outside today?
吃东西了吗
You eat something, or...?
没
Mm-mm.
你还好吗
You OK?
我昨晚失眠了 好像忘了怎么睡觉
I swear, I forgot how to fall asleep last night.
康纳 别
Don't, Conor.
我梦到你有外遇了
I had a dream you were having an affair.
被你发现了
How'd you find out?
这个月我第四次做这样的梦了
It's the fourth one I've had this month.
我跟谁外遇
Who am I having the affair with?
一个黑头发女生 我也不知道是谁
Some vague girl with dark hair.
-可能只是戴着假发的你啊 -不是的
-Maybe it's you in a wig. -It's not.
只是梦 没什么好担心吧
Yeah, well, I wouldn't worry about it, all right?
在我回餐馆之前
You want to order some food
我们要叫东西吃吗
or something before I have to go back?
你去吧
Maybe you should.
好 那我叫了
Yeah, I, I'm gonna.
我是说你应该去搞外遇
You should have an affair.
我听不懂你说什么了
I... don't know what you're talking about.
你说什么呢
What are you talking about?
咱们最近过得不怎么愉快
Things haven't been very chipper around here.
别这么说
Come on.
不幸慢慢都会过去的
Come on, we're getting by.
你还打算假装多久
How long are you gonna keep pretending?
说真的 我不知道 你是怎么从吃的扯到这上面的
Seriously, I don't know how we got from food to this, but...
你能好好听我说一下吗
OK, just listen to me for one second.
不 我不想听你说这个
I don't... no, I don't want to listen to you for a second.
你找外遇或许对我们都有好处
It might be a good thing.
能让我们的情境更加清晰
It would clear the air.
能让我们之间焕然一新
It would definitely shake things up between us.
我不知道 你从哪儿听的这些乱七八糟
I don't know what planet you're on,
但在咱们这儿
but on this planet,
搞外遇就是搞外遇
fucking around is fucking around,
搞外遇 不是解决问题的最佳方案
and it's not usually the best way to smooth things over.
好吧
Fine.
你要去接么
Are you gonna get that?
-你想接你就接 -我不想接
-You get it if you want. -I don't want to get it.
可能又是你♥爸♥
Well, it's probably your dad again.
你想那样吗
Is that what you want?
哪样
What?
搞外遇 你想搞外遇吗
To go fuck around... is that what you want?
我也不知道我想哪样
I don't know what I want.
真的
Seriously?
你想那样吗
Is it what you want?
不想
No.
我们的婚姻 真的已经这么不像样了吗
Are we really doing this badly?
康纳 这一年已经够难熬了
Conor, it's been an impossible fucking year,
所以请你 不要问这么傻♥逼♥的问题好吗
so please don't ask a stupid question like that.
那啥...
So, uh...
报纸上有什么新鲜事
what's the paper saying today?
说现在的世界 有什么致命的东西 我们都得死
Oh, apparently, we're all gonna die of something.
是 我听说过这个
Yeah, I heard about that.
这些新闻我真是跟不上了
I can't keep up with all this shit.
你看 全球气候变暖 冰山融化
You know, the ice caps keep melting,
阿富汗有爆♥炸♥
something else exploded in Afghanistan,
民♥主♥党是一群娘炮
Democrats are bunch of pussies,
致命流感
flu pandemics,
德库宁的艺术展
de Kooning's at the MoMA,
青柠色是今夏流行色
supposedly lime green is the hot color for summer,
还有 傻♥逼♥洋基队又输了
and the stupid Yankees lost again.
我感觉我脑袋都要爆♥炸♥了
I feel like my head's gonna burst.
那你应该下次试试 关了音乐再看报
Well, you should try reading without the music on, or the TV.
电视也关了
Or both.
我受不了寂静
Can't stand the silence.
给你买♥♥了拿铁
I got you a latte.