大病（2022）

2020年4月3日
报告新冠肺炎病历273880例 且仍在增加
42个州发布了居家令
全国近97%的地区采取隔离措施
顾客请注意 疾控中心指导意见
Attention shoppers, CDC guidelines
现已全面生效
are in full effect.
购物时 请您保持社交距离
Please prep social distancing while shopping.
嘿 你们仓库里还有厕纸吗
Hey, you guys have any toilet paper in the back?
货架上没有 那就没有了
What you see is what we got?
这也要抢啊
Really, dude?
混♥蛋♥
Dick.
真♥他♥妈♥友善
You're fucking welcome.
请间隔三个箭头
Please follow three arrows
随时保持1.8米距离
to remain six feet apart at all times.
嗨 泰勒
想参加派对吗
当然 你是哪位
请全程佩戴口罩
Face mask must be worn at all times.
前提是你没得新冠
你测过吗
不关你事 你他♥娘♥的♥是谁
你猜
滚你♥妈♥的♥
我们提倡您采用
We encourage shoppers to use
非接触式支付
touchless payment options.
翘臀
嘿 兄弟 -抱歉
Hey, man. - Sorry.
你口罩呢 -抱歉
Where's your mask at, bro? - Sorry. Sorry, man.
未知来电
你究竟是谁
Who the fuck is this?
操♥你♥妈♥的 变♥态♥跟踪狂
Listen, fuck you and your stalker bullshit.
大多数的州已颁布居家令
And the stay-at-home order is that most states have implemented.
今天 又有一个州
Another state today issued
南卡罗来纳州 颁布了居家令
a stay-at-home order, South Carolina.
这使得 全美国超过97%的人
That brings the total number of Americans under such an order,
受居家令影响
the total percentage to more than 97% of the country.
仍有七个州
Still there are seven states
未颁布居家令
that don't have an order in place,
阿肯色州 爱荷华州 北达科他州
Arkansas, Iowa, North Dakota
内布拉斯加州 南达科他州 犹他州和怀俄明州
Nebraska, South Dakota, Utah, and Wyoming.
安东尼·福奇博士是美国国家过敏症和传染病研究所所长
美国免疫调节实验室主任 白宫首席医疗顾问
但要知道 安东尼·福奇博士
You should know that Dr. Anthony Fauci
今晚说 爱荷华州和内布拉斯加州
said this evening that Iowa and Nebraska
美国新冠死亡人数超1万
已经制定了与居家令类似的条例
have instituted rules very similar to stay-at-home orders.
不止如此 医院前线的医护人员
The other threat tonight, the threat to our front line defenders in hospitals
核酸检测为阳性
who tested positive for virus,
并且 多位州长表示 他们必须高价竞买♥♥医疗物资
and the medical supplies that multiple governors say they must outbid each other for.
伊利诺伊州州长今天表示 伊利诺伊州收到的物资
Illinois governor said today that what his state is getting
对于国家战略储备来说 引用他的原话
for strategic national stockpile is, quote,
仅仅是我们要求的一小部分
mere fraction what we asked for.
天哪 搞什么
Jesus, what the fuc--
放开我
Get the fuck off me.
不要
No, no, no, no.
不
No!
来人啊 救命啊
Help! Somebody!
不
No!
操
Oh, fuck!
操
Fuck you.
操
Fuck you.
操
Fuck you.
好
Okay.
来吧
Oh, come on.
好
Okay.
好
Okay.
大 病
新帖
疫情之下 去游山玩水
#不用上学 #疫情
你口罩呢
Where's your mask?
戴上 我们要上车了
Keep it on. We're about to get in the car.
不好意思 在外边没必要戴吧
I'm sorry. I didn't think I had to wear it outside.
飞沫能在空气中飞2.4米 戴上口罩
Droplets can float eight feet in the air. Put the mask on.
米莉 我检查过我有无症状了
Miri, I already ran through all my symptoms.
我没有咳嗽 呼吸顺畅 没有发烧
I've no cough. I'm breathing fine. No fever.
我昨晚吃通心粉时
And I can still taste that garlic
能尝出大蒜的味道
from last night's linguini.
没开玩笑 帕克
This isn't a joke, Parker.
行 可以了吗
Okay. Better?
我们不是去度假 是去隔离
This isn't a vacation, it's a quarantine.
优雅地隔离
A quarantine in style.
姐妹 你别给我开玩笑
Dude, I need to know that you're serious.
我隔离完后要回家
I'm going home after this.
我爸要是被感染了 会出人命的
My dad won't make it if he's infected.
我没开玩笑 好吧 勾指起誓
I am. Okay? Pinky promise.
但你别紧张
But just relax.
我们一样可以玩得很开心 对吗
We can still have a little bit of fun, right?
对吗
Right?
也许吧 如果你足够幸运的话
Maybe. If you're lucky.
不会吧
Are you kidding me?
太漂亮了 没人住吗
This is beautiful. It just sits empty?
我爸每年来一次
My dad comes up here once a year
一群老男人喝酒
to get drunk with his man-friends. Tsk.
我让我妈把房♥租出去 她说不行
I told mom to rent it out, but no go.
我必须承认 这里简直太棒了
I stand corrected. This is incredible.
新冠 恶心死了
Sick. Disgusting.
整座房♥子都属于我们
And it's all ours.
唯一的邻居是里昂
The only neighbor is the Lyons' cabin,
离湖大约3.2公里远
which is about two miles that way around the lake.
所以 你不必担心任何人 以及他们的飞沫
So you don't have to worry about anyone or their droplets.
天啊
Holy shit.
说真的 我真是无以言表
Seriously, I'm speechless.
我早告诉过你 我知道如何度过2020年
I told you. I know how to 2020.
无线网络有密♥码♥吗
Is there a Wi-Fi password?
书架上 贴在音响下面的路由器上
Bookcase. Taped to the router under the stereo.
我要把这些帖子发出去
Because I'm posting this shit.
姐妹 你家真有钱
Dude, how rich is your family!
这地方简直太棒了
This place is awesome.
我好喜欢
I love this.
玩得高兴吗
你谁啊
喂 太冷了 你之前说不冷
Hello, it's freezing. You said it's gonna be warm.
我是说天气好
I said there would be sun.
现在是四月 你就知足吧
It's April, you can't have it all.
对于隔离而言
To quarantine.
大家都在说你Ins[社交软件]里的那个家伙
Everyone's conversing about that guy in your Insta.
本吉
Benji.
他其实挺可爱
I don't know, he's actually really cute.
我打算多留他一段时间
And I would've kept him a little while longer
只要他不突然不理我
if he hadn't completely ghosted me.
DJ生气了吗 -谁在乎呢
Is DJ mad about it? - Who cares?
臭女人 你在乎 只是不想承认罢了
Bitch, you care. You just don't want to admit it.
我不在乎
I don't care.
DJ在乎的话 那是他自己的问题
And if DJ cares, you know that's his own problem.
好吧
Okay.
湖水不错 去游泳吧
什么玩意儿
What's fuck!
米莉
Miri.
"湖水不错 去游泳吧"
"Jump in. Water's fine."
什么鬼 谁啊
What the fuck? Who is this?
不知道 我今天稍早前收到一条短♥信♥ 问我玩得开心吗
I don't know. I got one earlier on today saying, "Having fun?"
太他妈恐怖了 帕克
That's fucking creepy, Parker.
可能只是DJ用他朋友手♥机♥发的
Could just be DJ using one of his frat friend's phone.
他可能只是想耍我们 对吧
He's probably just trying to fuck with us, right?
不知道 谁都有可能
I don't know, could be anyone.
我猜 我们都发贴说我们要去湖边 所以
Guess we both posted we were coming to the lake, so...
好了 屏蔽他了 问题解决
Okay, blocked. Problem solved.
并与政♥府♥密切合作
...and really working closely with the state.
但我们真的要确保 我们能快速进行流调
But we really have to make sure we can contact trace rapidly.
显然 大家都清楚 包括你和福奇博士
Obviously, you know, including yourself and Dr. Fauci--
福奇 喝
Fauci, drink.