死神蘑菇（2007）

有人动歪念头了哦
Someone's got it bad.
我才没有
No, l don't.
只是一个暑假的邂逅啦
lt was just a summer thing.
那你干嘛千里迢迢去看他？
So why are you travelling 5000 miles to see him?
又不是为了看他
lt's not to see him.
我是跟你们一起来的
l'm here just like the rest of you, you know,
来看爱尔兰、嗑菇
see Ireland, do shrooms.
塔拉 我认识你很久了
Tara, l've known you all my life
没见过你吃阿斯匹灵
and l've never even seen you take an aspirin.
人会变嘛
People change.
等你♥爸♥知道你变这么多
When your dad hears you've changed this much,
他会禁足你到嫁给天主教♥徒♥为止
he's gonna ground you until you marry a nice Catholic boy.
没错 但到这里他就管不到我了
Yeah, well, maybe he can't tell me what to do here.
我从来没嗑过菇 不会惹事吧？
You know, l've never done shrooms before. lt's not gonna fuck me up?
本来就是做坏事还怕惹事？
You can't fuck up what's already fucked.
说正经的啦
Seriously, dude?
没有 从来没人嗑菇死过
No, nobody's ever died from taking shrooms before.
这不是化学毒品啦
l mean, they're all natural.
想像一下你打类固醇变成怎样
Besides, just imagine what steroids have done to you.
友善点
Be nice.
但她从来不修毛
Bet she doesn't even trim.
丽萨
Lisa.
可恶
Shoot.
给你一个惊喜
The element of surprise.
你不是去学武术吗？李小龙？
Where's martial arts training there, Bruce Lee?
心生邪念让我暂时分神了
A momentary distraction caused by sinful thoughts.
我知道你的邪念是什么
l know what distraction.
至少有人跟我打招呼
Well, l got my "hi-ya."
我也有
Well, l got mine.
死神
Death.
还有昏迷
And coma. Pah!
看到你那个流浪汉男友没？
Any sign of that vagabond boyfriend of yours?
他不是我男友
He's not my boyfriend.
迟早啦
Yet.
你真的不介意我们跟去吗？
Are you sure you don't mind us tagging along?
不会 杰克和特洛伊早就计划好了
No. Jake and Troy have been planning this forever.
那他人呢？
So where is he, then?
可能是马车抛锚了吧
Maybe his horse and cart broke down.
特洛伊 你也是他大学同学
Troy, you were in college too.
印象中只有什么课他不迟到？
How many classes do you remember him being on time for?
化学课
One. That's chemistry.
你的车要大修了
Dude, you need your ride pimped.
大家好啊
Hey, hey, hey.
你好啊
Hey, what's up, brother?
-你来了 -真高兴见到你
-Man, you made it. -It's good to see you.
真高兴见到你
lt's good to see you, dude.
嗨
Hey.
你好吗？
How are you doing?
很好
-Good. -Hey.
嗨 丽莎
Hi, Lisa.
亲爱的
Hey, honey.
热烈欢迎诸位美♥国♥佬♥来到爱尔兰
So céad mile féilte you Yankee junkie motherfuckers.
最恶劣的气候刚过完 不过…
The worst of the bad weather has now passed.
我答应要给你们永生难忘的体验
So the story is l promised you gringos the trip of a lifetime.
嗑菇要走出户外
A shroom trip has to be outdoors,
与大自然开趴
at one with nature,
找对地方、找对人
the right environment with the right people.
才能嗨得平安
Then the trip's real smooth.
每个人嗑菇的反应都不一样
No one has the same trip.
有人恐惧 有人慌乱
You know, some people get spooked, some freak out.
别抵抗 要细细品尝才能体验
So don't fight it. You have to get into the trip to get out of it.
这叫 去他妈的？
So this is a "fuck it"?
对
Yeah.
我们在美国是吸大♥麻♥
Well, in America we have bongs.
对啦 但不叫去他妈的
Maybe so. Do you have something that's called a "fuck it"?
你们在叨叨什么呢？
What the fuck are you talking about?
不知道 管他呢
l don't know, but, hey, fuck it.
今日精选菇类
Anyway, for our chosen mushrooms,
我们一心只找裸盖菇
we'll be concentrating on the liberty cap,
又名魔菇
a.k.a. the magic mushroom,
据说吃了会有无穷的能量…
which has been known to give boundless energy,
和幻觉
visual hallucinations,
让你狂喜不止、智慧顿开
uncontrollable laughter and profound wisdom.
前座这位可是菇类专家
Look at this. We got Carlos Castaneda sitting in the front seat.
谁？
Who?
如何辨识魔菇？
How can you tell they're the right ones?
菇盖上有长个小乳♥头♥的就是了
Yeah. They can be identified by the little nipples on the caps.
看起来就像带着蛋蛋的老二
And nothing that looks like a dick with balls, Bluto.
怎么吃？
Wait. So how do we take them?
把魔菇放进茶里煮
We brew the shrooms into a tea.
我不喝茶
l don't drink tea.
看起来真像老二
This really looks like a wiener.
要入境随俗嘛
When in Rome...
你确定现在是采魔菇的好季节？
Are you sure this is a good time to go looking for mushrooms?
没错 整座公园随我们采
No better. We'll have the whole park to ourselves.
野外好安静啊
Sure looks quiet out there.
欢迎来到爱尔兰
Welcome to Ireland.
美国有人露天杂交吗？
Do you guys have dogging in America?
那是什么？
What's that?
终于比你们先进了
Finally we get something before you do.
什么嘛？
What?
这附近有恶名昭彰的露天杂交
We've got a notorious dogging scene up here.
好啦 是怎样？
Okay, what is it?
情侣到偏僻的乡下 在车上嘿♥咻♥
Well, couples go to remote country areas and make out in their car
公开让人观赏
and people come and watch them.
情侣闪三次车灯
And the couple flashes the light in the car three times.
就表示欢迎别人一起玩
That's the signal for the dogger to come and join in.
他脱掉裤子
He drops trou,
露出老二
out comes the doodah.
等摇下车窗再伸进去
They wind down the window, he slips it in.
女生就为他画下完美句点
The girl gives him a happy ending.
酷耶
Cool.
太污秽了
That's vile.
我们上的是修道院学校 记得吗？
We went to convent school, remember?
我倒是想试试
l'm there.
开玩笑啦
l'm joshing.
妈的
Fuck!
对 妈的 那是血耶
Yeah, fuck. That's blood.
快点 我们下车
Come on, let's get out.
塔拉 不是你的错
Tara, it wasn't your fault.
天哪
Jesus. Oh, my gosh.
我没看到有撞凹
No, l can't see any dents.
-你有吗？有看到他冲出来吗？ -别说话
-Did you see it? Did you see it get out? -Wait. Shh.
怎么了？
What is it?
怎么了？
What is it?
-是一只羊 -小心点
-Oh, It's a fucking goat. -Be careful.
天哪
Oh, my God.
还活着
Oh gosh! lt's still alive.
我的老天
Jesus Christ.
好可怜
Oh, the poor thing.
还是带去兽医那儿安乐死吧
Maybe we should take it to a vet and have it humanely destroyed.
你干嘛？
What the fuck are you doing?
够安乐吗？
That humane enough for you?
你太残忍♥了
You are evil.
你希望别人这样对你吗？
How would you like that done to you?
至少它免除痛苦了
You guys, at least it's out of its misery.
他们想干嘛？
What do they want?
那是他们的晚餐
That's their dinner.
天哪
Oh, my God.
这是什么？人魔岛？
What is this? The IsIand of Dr. Moreau?