辛普森一家（2024）

《辛普森一家》
圣诞特别集
圣诞节 听说是一年中最棒的一天
Christmas. It's said to be the most wonderful time of the year.
但在春田镇的街道上
But in the city sidewalks of Springfield...
却看不到大家脸上浮现出微笑
one doesn't see smile after smile.
空气中丝毫感受不到圣诞氛围
In the air, there's no feeling of the Christmas spirit,
只剩下轮胎燃烧的焦臭味和甜甜圈甜腻的味道
just the chunky inhale of tire fire and doughnut oil.
在这种镇子上做试验 真是再合适不过了
Which makes it the perfect town to conduct an experiment.
我是心理学家兼心理魔术师 德伦·布朗
I'm mentalist and psychological illusionist, Derren Brown.
今天的特别集 我将利用催眠
In this special, I shall use a mixture of hypnosis,
社会合规理论 英国口音
social compliance, British accent,
和心理学知识 尝试改变
and psychology in an attempt to change
这个镇子的节日氛围
the holiday temperament of an entire town.
这是我德伦·布朗的圣诞节
This is A Derren Brown Christmas.
德伦·布朗的圣诞节
过去春田镇的圣诞节很热闹
Springfield used to be festive at Christmas,
但各种气候灾害
but climate catastrophes,
法♥西♥斯♥主义和自♥拍♥自演的JLo电影
various fascisms, and self-financed JLo movies
都让镇子上的人变得暴躁和吝啬
have left the town grumpy and Scrooge-like.
不过我即将改变这一切
But I'm about to change all that.
哈尔克传媒
我和我这一大群
I arrived with my improbably large team
假扮成摄制组的同伴来到了这里
of accomplices posing as a film crew.
昆比市长 我是哈尔克传媒的
Mayor Quimby. Uh, Hark Media.
我们要拍一部关于春田镇获奖的纪录片
We're doing a documentary on the award Springfield's just won.
获奖吗 -你知道
Award? - You know, the...
春田镇刚被命名为美国最"圣诞"的镇子
Springfield being named the "Christmasiest" Town in America,
获得了市镇广场节日改造的机会
winning the holiday makeover of Town Square.
那个奖啊 没错 我们很开心
Oh, that award. Uh, yes. We are thrilled
也很荣幸地成为
and honored to be...
那个让市长很开心却并不存在的奖
The award the Mayor is so thrilled about doesn't exist.
是我们瞎编的
We made it up.
迫使昆比尴尬地假装
Forcing Quimby to awkwardly pretend
自己知道我们在说什么
he knows what we're talking about.
这会让他不安 从而令他更容易被♥操♥纵
This rattles him, making him easier to manipulate.
而且他也还在为其他事情紧张
Also, he was nervous about other things.
你好 乔
Hey, Joe.
我要把城市之钥
I, uh, just need to bestow upon this
授予这位选民
constituent the Key to the City.
不 我需要的是湖边小屋的钥匙
No. I need the key to the lake house.
另外也别挡住安德森家的车道
And don't block the Andersons' driveway.
那个 你之前说什么来着
You, uh, were saying?
我们只是想确保你不介意我们的拍摄
We just wanted to make sure you're okay with us filming
和安装隐藏摄像头的行为
and placing hidden cameras virtually everywhere.
你懂的 就是要拍那个
You know, for the documentary about the award
你知道是什么奖的获奖纪录片 -对对
you totally knew about? - Yes, yes.
春田镇这里没有什么秘密
Springfield is an open book.
我们可以开始了
We were in.
说什么奖品是节日改造 全都是我们
The prize of a holiday makeover was all part of our plan
悄悄想让小镇变得更欢乐的计划
to subliminally make the town feel more cheery.
不过没有立即得到积极的回应
The response wasn't immediately positive.
圣诞节的装饰开始变得越来越早
They put Christmas decorations up earlier and earlier.
现在已经12月中旬了
It's mid-December.
但我这还是个好段子
Still a good joke.
才不是段子 是大家现在都在说的
It's not a joke, it's just a thing everyone says.
因为很好笑
'Cause it's hilarious.
喂 侯默 越来越早了 是吧
Hey, Homer. Earlier and earlier, huh?
你到底是怎么 -我总是囤着口水的
How did you even... - Ah, I always have one loaded.
植牙专用 送你圣诞节的
D-Dental implant special. Two front
两个前门牙 你知道的
teeth for Christmas. You know...
吉尔·甘德森 他有份不擅长且没前途的工作
Meet Gil Gunderson. Gil has a dead-end job which he is bad at.
吉尔正努力鼓起勇气
Gil is trying to summon the courage
打算在圣诞节前打给
to call his estranged family before
他关系疏远的家人致以问候 但他时间不多了
Christmas, but he's running out of time.
吉尔需要别人给他增加点信心
What Gil needs is a boost of confidence.
一个成为英雄的机会
A chance to be a hero.
送失控的婴儿车过去
Cue runaway baby carriage.
救命 我孩子的婴儿车从我手边滑走了
Help! My baby carriage is slipping out of my hand!
我的家人不想知道我的消息
My family doesn't wanna hear from me.
你还好吗 -我没事 但你的
Are you okay? - I'm fine, but what about your...
幸好 他没事
Hey, he's okay.
对 是你救了他
Yes. You saved him.
你是个英雄
You're a hero.
我吗
I am?
就这样 吉尔觉得自己勇敢 强壮 有行动力
And just like that, Gil felt brave, strong, a man of action.
抱歉我有点事
Would you excuse me?
邦妮 我是吉尔
Bonnie, it's Gill.
是吗 我也很开心能听到你的声音 亲爱的
It is? It's good to hear your voice too, honey.
对 不是 亲爱的 我嘛
Right. No, honey. I, uh...
我当然很愿意跟你和孩子一起过圣诞节
I would love to spend Christmas with you and the kids.
我当然可以买♥♥一棵圣诞树
Sure I can pick up a tree.
其实我这已经有一棵了
Actually, I already have one.
不要你那种愚蠢的戏服 -不是 我没有
Not your stupid costume! - No, no. That's not what I was...
我会去卖♥♥树的地方看看
I'll-I'll go to the tree lot.
跟家人一起过圣诞
Christmas with the fam.
对吉尔来说 成为一个卢瑟
For Gil, being a colossal failure was
是他一直自我内化的故事
the story he'd been telling himself.
我们都会这样自我内化 编织自己的身份
And each of us tells ourselves stories. Stories about who we are.
迪斯科司徒也喜欢自♥由♥诗
Disco Stu is into free verse poetry also.
那些编造的故事限制了我们
Stories that limit who we can be.
我没有易怒的问题
I don't have an anger problem.
怒气能增加我出拳的力量
Anger helps me punch.
有些故事则很复杂
Some stories are complicated.
以前 冰棍球是在沙上玩的
Back then, hockey was played on sand
那时的球是一只烤过的蛤蜊
and the puck was a lightly broiled clam.
侯默·辛普森一直拿来哄骗自己的故事
The story Homer Simpson keeps telling himself
是他不擅长选礼物
is that he is bad at choosing gifts.
所以他一直让他老婆
Which is why he lets his wife,
也就是马姬 来负责圣诞节购物
Marge, do all the Christmas shopping.
好吧 那个不太妙
Well, that was a bust.
显然现在穿Gap的都是流浪汉
Apparently, the Gap is just for tramps now.
你买♥♥东西我看包
I'll watch the bags while you shop.
但我不擅长买♥♥礼物
Oh, but I suck at presents.
我总不能一个人全都买♥♥了吧
I can't do all the shopping.
你得给我买♥♥份礼物
You have to buy a present for me.
你喜欢这些吗
Do you like any of this stuff?
我的袖扣已经够多了
I have enough cuff links.
跟你说过了我不擅长
Told ya I suck.
我们跟着侯默 了解到他确实很不擅长此事
We followed Homer and soon learned that he did, in fact, suck.
他从一本还算合理的杂♥志♥开始选
He started with a reasonable a journal.
个性聊天星盘
然后就开始了第二次猜测
Then the second guessing began.
万一马姬没有内心深处的想法怎么办
Aw, what if Marge doesn't have innermost thoughts?
性感内衣呢 不行 太不正经了
Lingerie? No, too sexual.
数独的书呢 又太过于正经了
Book of sudokus? Not sexual enough.
保龄球如何 我已经买♥♥过了
Bowling ball? Aw, we already did that.
让我担心的是侯默一直在粗暴地责备自己
What concerned me was how savagely Homer berated himself.
我最差了 我总让别人难过
Oh, I'm the worst. I make people sad.
我该去死
I should die
他们应该把我的尸体捐给某个烂医学院
and they should donate my body to a crappy medical school
然后研究为何我如此不擅长买♥♥礼物
where they study my brain for why I suck at buying gifts.
我决定让马姬做我的同谋
I decided to enlist Marge as an accomplice.
通过使用心理技巧 我们可以操纵春田镇的人
And by using psychological tricks, we can manipulate the town
让他们相信自己感受到了更强烈的圣诞氛围
into believing that they're feeling more Christmas-y.
玩弄人们的心智吗
Ooh. Playing with people's minds?
好像有点不负责任吧
That seems kind of irresponsible.
是拍电视剧要用的 -那可以
It's for a TV show. - Oh, then it's fine.
所以给侯默的圣诞节计划是让他更擅长挑礼物
So our Christmas plan for Homer is to make him a better gift giver.
侯默不擅长选礼物
Homer's bad at choosing gifts
是因为他是这样自我驯化的
because he tells himself that he's bad at choosing gifts.
我想他真的只是不擅长选礼物而已
I think Homer's just bad at choosing gifts.
他有次给巴仔买♥♥了心肺复苏术人偶
He once gave Bart a CPR dummy.
巴仔很不喜欢 他不愿意让人偶苏醒