星图

寂寞星图
我是阿嘉萨·威斯 我叫了辆豪华轿车
I'm Agatha Weiss. I asked for a limousine.
加长型的
A stretch?
嗯
Um.
没有加长型的了
Yeah, there weren't any available.
你能找到这地方吗
Can you find this place?
能
Yeah.
唉...
Ah...
先说清楚 收现金 开车前先预付
Look, cash call. I'm gonna have to collect up front.
一小时45元 最少需两小时起跳
It's 45 an hour. 2 hour minimum.
这是200 行吗
Here's 200, okay?
我能要一张标注了明星家的导览图吗
Can we get a star home map?
没必要
Kind of a waste.
除非你想看瑞安·西克雷斯特以前住哪
Unless you want to see where Ryan Seacrest used to live?
你从哪来
Where did you come in from?
杰派特镇
Jupiter.
弗罗里达州
Florida.
你来洛杉矶干什么
What's happening in LA?
来看家人
Visiting family.
你载过很多名人吗
Do you drive a lot of celebrities?
我载过艾尔·高尔一次
I had Al Gore once.
对我来说应该是最有名的一个
That was probably the heaviest... for me.
还有塔图姆·奥尼尔 她那时还在做真人秀
I drove Tatum O'Neil when she had a reality show.
还有...
Umm...
查克·洛尔
Chuck Lorre...
好汉两个半的创作人
...who created 2 1/2 Men.
还有一堆制♥作♥人 导演
Get a lot of producers... directors.
还有...朱丽叶特·刘易斯
Eh... Juliette Lewis.
她是山达基教♥徒♥
She's a scientologist.
我也想改信山达基♥督♥徒
I was thinking about converting.
可能会对我职业有帮助
Just as a carrier move.
你是演员吗
You're an actor?
演员 编剧
Actor, writer.
我认识凯莉·费雪
I know Carrie Fisher.
哦 是吗
Oh, really?
怎么认识的
How's that?
我在社群网路上认识她的
I met her on Twitter.
我们成了好朋友
Yeah, we became like really good friends.
我在帮她完成她的新小说
I'm helping her with a new novel she's writing.
也可能是她为HBO写的剧本
But it might be something she winds up doing as an HBO show.
这是什么地方
What's this place?
我以为这是星图上的一处
I thought it might be on a star map.
这原来有个很大的房♥子
There used to be a really big house here.
班杰 威斯小时候的房♥子
Childhood home of Benjie Weiss.
你怎么知道
So, how do you know that?
我以前是他保姆
I used to babysit for him.
我就是那个坏保姆的原型
I was the original bad babysitter.
说起来奇怪
It's weird.
我经纪人想帮我争取到《坏保姆2》的试镜
My agent is trying to get me an audition for babysitter 2.
虽然机会不大 但...
I mean it's a long shot, but uh...
雅各布·赖肯
Jacob Lightner...
让我去试镜 他是个私人经纪人
...got it to me... he's a personal manager.
很有影响力的人
He's a real heavy-weight.
我们一起去比佛利
We went to Beverly together.
希望我能走运
I hold my fingers crossed.
海 小家伙
Hi, there.
我以为你不会来了
I'd didn't think you'd come.
为什么
Why is that?
你很忙啊
You're so busy.
你是例外
Not for you.
嗯
Hm.
我...
I, um...
我 我喜欢《坏保姆》 你在里面好有趣
I... I liked 'Bad Babysitter'. You were so funny.
是啊
Yeah... uh...
我们全球票房♥收获了7 8亿
We did 780 million world wide.
很多人都没意识到
People don't realize that.
你没有平版电脑吗
Don't you have an iPad?
没有
No...
我们能送她一台平版电脑吗
Um... can we get her an iPad?
迷你的
Mini?
存点片子
Load it up?
看爆米花3D电影
Watch shit in 3D?
我们剧组订做了很酷的夹克
We got great sack in crew jackets.
在背后用金色写着"我是坏保姆"
'I was a Bad Babysitter' written in gold on the back.
特别有个人风格
Get your swag on.
那...
So...
肯米 你是怎么染上爱♥滋♥的
How did you get AIDS, Cammy?
唉
Umm...
我没有得爱♥滋♥ 我得的是
I don't have AIDS, its...
非何杰金氏淋巴瘤
Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
你知道我打算怎么做吗
You know what I'm going to do?
我要把你的生活拍成电影
I'm gonna make a movie of your life.
真的
Right?
雷恩·葛斯林来演我
Ryan Gosling will play me.
我来演你
And I'll play you.
你会是我奥斯卡上的女伴
You're my date at the Oscars.
非何杰金氏淋巴瘤
Non-Hodgekin's?
对不起
Sorry about that.
非何杰金氏淋巴瘤是什么鬼玩意
What the fuck is Non-Hodgekin's?
应该是血液方面的疾病
I think it's a blood thing.
它都说"非"了 到底是还是不是
I mean, 'Non'. It either is or isn't.
你在里面说的话是认真的吗
Were you serious in there?
因为
Because...
我们完全可以找雷恩来演
...we can definitely get this to Ryan.
-他就喜欢这种故事 -我们能找来雷恩
-It's just the kind of stuff he likes to do. -We could get it to Ryan?
对
Yeah.
你连盥洗室都擦不干净
You can barely get toilet paper to your ass.
足够拍成那种励志片了 是吧
Make for an uplifting drama, wouldn't it?
我都想好标题了
I mean, I even got a title.
班杰 如果你不是认真的 最好别乱承诺
If you're not serious Benjie, it's better not to promise.
哈
Hah!
阿诺·库伯勒·罗斯放话了耶
Arnold Kugler Ross has spoken!
伟大的拉比 灭亡与垂死
Great Rabi, death and dieing.
智慧之王
Man of wisdom.
了不起的神箭手
Zen-fucking-archer!
我给你取了个新外号♥
I got a new nickname for you.
宽容博物馆
Uzeem Atolerance.
班杰 够了
Drop it Benjie.
够了
Drop it?
我有个更好的主意
I have a better idea.
怎么不把你的阴♥部♥拿出来秀秀
Why don't you show me your cunt?!
啊
Huh?!
我知道你有
I know you have one.
犹太娘娘腔
Jew faggot!
他们给多少
What are they offering?
五百万
5 million.
加附加收入百分之十的分成
10 points from Cashbury.
吉妮要多少
What's Genie asking?
百分之八
8.
还有对价的20%分成
20 from dollar one.
你怎么想
What do you think?
我觉得我们吃定制片方了
I think we have their balls...
不错
Cool.
那...什么时候试镜
So um... when's the audition?
班杰 我跟你说过的这不是试镜
It's not an audition Benjie. I told you that.
哦 对不起
Right. Sorry.
尿液测试是什么时候
When's the urine test?
会议在星期五早上10点
The meeting is on Friday at 10.
制片方只想确保你身心健康
The studio just want to see that you're bright eyed and bushy tailed.
但决定权还是在我吧
But the deals contingent belong to me?
他们只是想维护这系列电影的声誉