趴体生活（2018）

Because we love you. We love you so much. So much, OK?
我的天
My God.
发生什么了
What happened?
简而言之 我只能说
I guess in a nutshell, I would have to say
他目前在和一个叫玛茜的人有非常
that he is currently having an intimate sexual relationship
亲密的性关系
with somebody named Marcie.
我非常抱歉 妈妈
I'm so sorry, Mom.
不 我 我很抱歉
No, I'm... I'm sorry.
我是说 我不是这么计划的
I mean, this was not my plan.
我并不想就这么过来 直接把坏消息告诉你
I did not mean to come over here and just dump bad news on you.
我多希望我
I wish I was...
我多希望我知道该怎么更好地处理
I wish I knew how to do this better.
老爸真是太混♥蛋♥了
Dad is such an ass!
是的 但我告诉你
Yeah. But I'll tell you this.
我知道这个消息还不到一星期 但我
I'm not even really a full week in but I'm feeling...
开始对它感到高兴了
..peppier about it.
这周最开始就像
Top of the week was... Whoo!
真的 就是在螺旋下降 但我开始觉得
..really, really spiralling down there but I feel like
有一些更大的车轮在我心里转动
there's some big wheels in motion here.
令人兴奋的 巨大的 半个卡车那么大的轮子
Exciting, big, semi-truck-size wheels.
是的 大轮子
Yes, big wheels!
来吧 把握每一天 为金牌努力
Come on, seize the day! Go for the gold!
是的 至少能得个奖牌 对吧
Yeah, at least medal, right?
这就是我要重回大学拿到我的考古学学位的原因
That's why I'm gonna go back to college and get my archaeology degree.
就在这儿 我的母校
Right here, my alma mater.
我要完成我之前未完成的
I'm gonna finish what I started!
- 不 - 是的
- No. - Yes!
老妈 你真的应该停一下 好好考虑一下这事
Mom, you really gotta take a moment and think about this.
我很喜欢
I love it.
好吧 天啊
OK. Boy.
天啊
Boy.
我吓到我的宝贝了
I overwhelmed my gal.
妈妈过来了然后把她吓坏了
Mom came in and overwhelmed her.
是的 我吓到她了
Yes, I did.
不 这是 这是好消息
No, this is... this is good news.
是的 好消息
Yeah, good news..
好消息
Good news.
我告诉你 我很讨厌要清洗那些纺锤
I'll tell you what. I would hate to have to clean all these spindles.
- 我觉得你可以做到的 - 我知道我可以
- I think you could do it. - I know I could.
你还好不
You doing OK?
- 嗯 我会好的 - 好的 我知道了
- Yeah, I'll be OK. - OK. I know.
是的 你是个坚强的孩子
Yeah, you're a tough cookie.
嘿 你们好啊
Hey! Hello!
看看谁在这儿 姑娘们都在这儿呢
Look who's here. The gang's all here.
- 嗨 - 嗨 迈尔斯夫人
- Hi! - Hi, Mrs Miles!
看看啊 已经组成学习小组了 已经是学习伙伴了
Look at this. It's a study group. Study buddies already.
- 你也应该到这里来学习 - 别说了 妈妈
- You should be down here studying. - Please stop, Mom.
看看你们 天 见到你们真开心
Look at you. Boy, a sight for sore eyes?
你们好呀 我的勇士同伴们 学习同伴们
Hello to my fellow Tigers, fellow students,
因为某人的妈妈就要上大学了
because somebody's mom just enrolled in college!
我指的是我自己
I'm referring to myself.
等下 你现在就要来这个学校上学吗
Wait, you're going to school here now?
她只是在考虑这事 没确定呢
She's thinking about it. It's not for sure yet.
挺确定的了 我不觉得我会改主意了
It's pretty for sure. I don't think I'm gonna change my mind.
还有 我 你懂的 我今天报名的时候我就在想
And, I was, you know, it made me start wondering when I was signing up today.
我想 阿曼达不是在说要转专业到考古学呢
I thought, "Wasn't Amanda talking about switching to the archaeology department?"
- 是你吗 - 不 我读艺术史
- Was that you? - No, I'm art history.
不是 那你呢
No. How about you?
不 也不是我
No, it's not me.
不 很抱歉 我们之前没见过 一直没有荣幸认识你
No. I'm so sorry, we haven't met. I haven't had the pleasure.
- 我是海伦 嗨 - 我有没有好运呢
- I'm Helen. Hi! - Did I get lucky?
你有可能是考古专业的吗 一般屋子里都会有两个我们专业的人
Are you possibly an archaeology major? There's usually two of us in a room.
我还没报专业呢
I'm undeclared.
还有时间呢
There's still time.
还有时间呢 去了解下吧
There's still time. Check into it.
我禁不住注意到
Now, I couldn't help noticing
你比其他姑娘都要大一点
that you're a little whisper older than the other girls.
你是助教或者研究生吗
Are you a TA or maybe a grad student?
不 我大二 但我大学上的有点晚
No, I'm a sophomore. But I started college a little bit later
因为我昏迷了8年
because I was in a coma for eight years.
我的天啊
My gosh!
容我问下 我就是在想 你是 怎么昏迷的
If I may, I'm just wondering, how did it... how did that happen?
没事 我那时在跳伞
Yes, I was skydiving.
天啊
Boy!
上一秒我从飞机里跳出来 然后突然就黑了
One minute you're falling out of a plane, then the lights go out.
接下来我知道的事就是 我醒过来 以为是第二天
Next thing I know, I wake up. I think it's the next day
但我长高了将近3厘米 然后突然有了C罩杯
but I've grown four inches and suddenly I have C cups.
都过去八年了
It was eight years gone.
我也有C罩杯 但我不用为了它们而陷入昏迷
I also have C cups. But I didn't have to go into a coma for them.
老妈 我想这是在暗示你该走了
Mom! I think that's your cue.
我觉得 你应该出发走了
I think, maybe, you've gotta hit the road.
- 是的 抱歉 - 是的
- Yes, I'm sorry. - Yeah.
没错 给我一刀吧 没我事了 抱歉
Yes. Put a fork in me. I'm done. So sorry.
既然如此 我这就溜达走了
I'm gonna toddle off, on that note.
真开心见到你
So nice meeting you.
很开心见到你 海伦 姑娘们 再次见到你们真高兴
So nice to meet you, Helen. Girls, what a delight to see you again.
好的 好的
OK, all right.
以后在校园里见或者是四合院里见
Well, I'll see you around campus or on the quad.
- 没人这么说了 老妈 - 没人这么说了吗
- Nobody says that, Mom. - Nobody says that?
我会让它重新火起来的 四合院里见啦 勇士们
I'll bring it back. See you in the quad, Tigers.
再见 迈尔斯夫人
Bye, Mrs Miles!
欢迎你来
And welcome.
这是你的课程安排
So, here's your class schedule.
我太兴奋了
Wow! I am pumped!
- 太感谢你了 - 不用谢
- Thank you so much! - You're so welcome.
- 好的 保重 - 再见
- All right, take care. - Bye now.
我已经有高年级倦怠症了 开玩笑呢
I already got senioritis. Kidding!
太好了
Yes!
没有人 没有人 *
* Ain't nobody, ain't nobody
能偷走我的愉快经历 *
* Gonna steal my brand-new groove
就这个
Ooh! Yes!
我就要失去冷静了 *
* I'm about to lose my cool
我需要你 宝贝 *
* I need you, babe
你看到这里的东西了不 是迷你足球呢
Did you see these in there? They're tiny footballs!
- 是不是贼可爱 - 根本不知道该拿它们做什么
- Aren't they so cute? - No idea what I'm gonna do with them.
我猜我可能会找到迷你足球运动员
I guess I'll find tiny football players.
我可要握紧咯
Let me just get my grip.
见到你 可真是曙光
You're a sight for sore eyes.
如果你可以帮帮我这个可怜人
If you could just maybe grab that...
我猜骑士精神都死绝了吧
I guess chivalry's dead.
光天化日之下穿着运动裤
Wearing sweatpants in broad daylight.
又来一个这样的人
There's another one.
美国未来的陈世美
Future Dans of America.
有人吗
Hello?
嗨
Hi!...
别开灯
Don't turn on the lights.
嗨 你好
Hi, there.
我是迪安娜 你就是莉诺奥了吧 还是莉奥诺
I'm Deanna and you must be Lenore or is it Leonor?
好吧 我们以后会说清楚的
OK, well, I'm sure we'll get into that.
所以我们是室友咯
So we're roomies?
真开心能做室友
Fun to be roomies.
同寝室的伙伴啦
Bunkmates.
屋里这么暗 你是在睡觉吗
It's dark in here. Were you asleep?
我不睡 我害怕黑暗
I don't sleep. I'm scared of the dark.
天啊
Boy.
我害怕很多事 我害怕人群 书 会飞的东西
I'm scared of a lot of things. I'm scared of crowds, books, flying,
人 蚂蚁 番茄酱
people, ants, ketchup.
不喜欢蕃茄酱 我挺难理解的
Ketchup's a tough one for me.
我是说 我也喜欢芥末酱 但我超爱番茄酱的
I mean, I like a moutarde but I'm kind of a ketchup gal.
我喜欢在薯条上挤满蕃茄酱
I like to dunk my taters.
好吧 我喜欢番茄酱