在我走之前

温柔地爱我 深情地爱我
Love me tender, love me dear
告诉我你是我的
Tell me you are mine
穿越岁月
I'll be yours
我将永远属于你
Through all the years
直至天荒地老
Till the end of time
当最终我的梦想实现了
When at last my dreams come true
亲爱的我知道
Darling, this I know
无论你去什么地方
Happiness will follow you
幸福都将伴随你
Just before I go.
我叫泰德·摩根
My name is Ted Morgan.
此刻 我正在经历死亡
Right now I'm moments away from death.
尽管如此 你们也没必要觉得难过
No reason for you to feel bad, though.
我就一点都不难过
I mean, I don't.
这其实我是一生中
This is actually the first time in my life
第一次完成了我定的计划
that I've accomplished something I set out to do.
死在沃姆斯塔湖 很适合我
And it's fitting for me to die here in Lake Wamsutta
说实话 这可能是唯一一个
because, to be honest, it's probably the only place
我真正感觉到活着的地方
I ever really felt alive.
我小时候 经常跟爸爸来这里
I used to come here with my dad when I was a kid,
但是我们不是过来钓鱼的
but we didn't come here to fish.
我们还有更重要的计划
No, we had bigger plans.
看到牌子上的东西了吗?
See that thing in the sign?
那是华米 这是我的家乡
That's Wammy, my hometown's answer
对尼斯湖水怪做出的回应
to the Loch Ness monster.
不过华米是真的
But Wammy was real.
我爸爸真正拍到过它
We had actual footage shot by my dad,
还有当地的酒鬼目击者 也见到过
plus eyewitness accounts from local alcoholics.
我爸看过世间的一切美好事物
My dad saw the good in everything.
他告诉我 这个世界是个安全祥和的好地方
He taught me that the world was a safe and decent place.
其实不然
Only it wasn't.
我还没意识到这一点时 他就生病了...
He got sick and before I knew it...
他去世了
he was gone.
那天我的哥哥幸运帝第一次
My brother Lucky comforted me that day
也是这一生中 唯一一次安慰我
for the first and only time in his life.
但是他替代不了 我爸在我心中的位置
But he couldn't take my dad's place.
快去 坐下 你怎么回事?
Go! Sit! What's wrong with you?!
在电影里 有同情心的老师 通常平易近人
In the movies, a sympathetic teacher often steps up.
但是埃德温娜·劳伦斯老师 从来都不是
But Edwina Lawrence never went to the movies.
我用画画来表达自己的感受
I used my art to express myself
然后我展示给他们看
and I showed them.
不过接着就被教育了
But then they showed me.
他们抢走了我最好的朋友
- They took my best friend. -
我妈妈也一直没有找到 能够替代我爸爸的人
My mother never found a man to replace my dad either.
所以她爱上了金...
So she fell in love with the King...
名叫雪莉
named Shirley.
那时候 我经常受学校恶霸的虐待
Meanwhile, I was being tortured by the school bully,
罗力·斯坦斯菲尔德
Rawly Stansfield.
等我长大了后
So when I was old enough,
我尽可能的搬得远一点
I moved as far away as I could
我再也没想起华米了
and I never thought of Wammy again.
我觉得相信有华米 是件很傻的事
It was a silly thing to believe in anyway.
从我现在的处境 你也可以看得出
As you can tell by where I am right now,
生活并没有好起来
life never got much better.
因此我去了西边 开始我的生活
So I went out west where I just blended in.
我在一家中等的公♥司♥
I worked my way up to a mid-level job
找了一份中等的职位...
at a mid-level company...
看着岁月流逝
and watched the years go by,
失去了人生的安全感
all from the safety of a mid-level life.
嘿 快走 快走
Hey, come on. Let's go. Come on.
然后我遇到了佩妮 -过来
And then I met Penny. - Here we go.
哇 它还真是重
Wow, he's really heavy.
我叫佩妮
I'm Penny.
我叫泰德
I'm Ted.
那3年时间 她就是我的全部
For three years, she was everything to me.
而我不是她的全部
Everything I wasn't.
佩妮热爱生活
Penny loved life
我却爱佩妮
and I loved Penny.
很不幸 内特也爱她
Unfortunately, so did Nate,
是她的吉他老师
her guitar teacher.
你以为我想要这样的结局吗? 泰德
Do you think this is how I wanted it to end, Ted?
我以为我们可以共同成长
I thought that we could grow together,
但是你停滞不前
but you are stuck.
要是我没有你 我要怎么办?
What am I supposed to do without you?
你对我做过什么了? 泰德
What did you ever do with me, Ted?
你根本没有热情
You have no passion
我不想像你这样虚度光阴
and I don't wanna end up like you.
你还不如去死吧
You might as well be dead.
也许她说的对
Maybe she was right.
也许我真该死
Maybe I should just end it.
毕竟 到头来 没有一个可以安慰我的人了
After all, there was no one left to talk me out of it.
就连陌生人都觉得 我在浪费空气
Even total strangers agreed that I was wasting air.
这已经很明显了
It was obvious to me.
是时候离开人世了
It was time to punch out.
但是我不想像这个家伙一样离开
But I didn't want to go out like this guy.
我的人生彻底失败了
My life had been a complete failure, sure,
但是我至少还有选择死亡方式的权利
but at least I could get my death right.
在我临走之前 我要回到肯普顿
I needed to go back to Kempton and confront my own predators.
去面对我的敌人
Just before I go.
嘿 泰德
Hey, Ted!
泰德 快过来
Teddy! Over here!
你还有散♥弹♥枪♥
You got shotgun.
亲爱的 孩子们
Honey! Kids!
他们肯定会很兴奋
They're gonna freak out.
嘿 大家都快过来
Hey, everybody gather round.
这儿 你坐这里
Here. You sit here.
不用 你别动
No, no, you stay.
好了 家庭大团聚
Okay, okay, fam damily.
你们都还记得泰德叔叔吗?
You all remember your Uncle Ted?
他是我唯一的弟弟
He's my only brother.
他要过来跟我们住一段时间
He's gonna be staying with us for a while.
我们知道 爸爸 -好的...
- We know, Dad. - Right...
但是你们不知道为什么
but what you don't know is why.
我可以直说吗? 泰迪
And, uh... can I be frank here, Teddy?
最好别说 -你们的泰德叔叔来这里
- Preferably not. - Your Uncle Ted's here
是因为你们的佩妮阿姨 你们好像只见过两次
'cause your Aunt Penny, who you only met, like, twice
而且是很多年前的事了
a hundred years ago,
现在 注意听 我告诉你们
and now-- warning, I'm gonna talk to you
我当你们是成年人 她是个万人洞
like we're adults now-- is a cunt.
好了 我有点困了 -你们都了解我的
- Okay, I'm a little sleepy. - Now, those of you who know me
我通常都不会用这些词的
know that I don't throw that word around lightly.
这是脏话 是骂人的话
It's an ugly word, it's a disgusting word.
它是一个大洞洞 生小孩的地方
Great orifice. Gives us babies,
但是有时候是个很恶劣的词
but it's a terrible word sometimes,
但是你们的阿姨就像个阴♥道♥
but your aunt is a cunt.
所以我不想听到"佩妮"这个名字
So I never want to hear the word "Penny"
都不准说
spoken ever again.
等你想说"佩妮"的时候 你就用"阴♥道♥"代替
When you think you want to say "Penny," you use cunt instead.
要是我们在银行 想要一卷一便士的钞票怎么办?
What if we want to cash in a roll of pennies at the bank?
那我们可以说吗? -不行
- Do we say it then? - No.
你看着银行职员 然后说
You look that teller in the eye and you say
你想要一卷一便士的"阴♥道♥"
you would like some cash for this roll of cunts.
我允许你说 我可以在纸条上签字什么的
You have my permission. I'll sign a slip or something.
哥 拜托 -不好意思 我跑题了
- Luck, come on. - I'm sorry, I digress.
尽管他也是个混♥蛋♥
And even though he's been kind of a dick
过去两年里 几乎没有打过电♥话♥或什么的
for barely calling or anything for the past two years,
这已经不重要了
doesn't matter anymore...
因为我的宝贝弟弟回来了
'cause my baby brother's back.
好了 我现在有点激动
Okay, I'm getting a little emotional here.
你们都知道 我哭的时候 会乱说话
And you all know I break things when I cry,
我还是让我的弟弟泰德说吧
so I'm gonna let little brother Ted speak.