真情假爱

我是史密斯先生 谢谢
I am Mr. Smith. Thank you.
-说得好 -我有保障吗
-That was good. -You think I'm protected?
-我有保障吗 -庭上站得住脚
-Am I protected? -I think it would hold up.
-玛丽莲 -对 玛丽莲
-Marylin. -Yes, yes. Marylin.
假如他正要去下手 怎么办
What do we do? What if he's on his way there?
对
Yes. Oh!
-假如他正要去...-不 玛丽莲
-If he's on his way there... -Oh, no! Marylin!
叫她出来争取时间 争取时间
Get her out and buy some time. Buy some time!
喂
Hello?
玛丽莲 你要立刻离开这房♥子
Marylin, you must leave the house immediately.
-非常重要 -迈尔斯 你好
-It's imperative that you leave the house. -Hello, Miles.
-你好 宝贝 -迈尔斯 未定协议之前
-Hello, dear. -Now, Miles, pending final settlement,
我有权住在这里
you know that I'm entitled to use the house.
不 不 不 玛丽莲 你不明白
No, no, no! You don't understand, Marylin.
-紧急事故 -紧急事故
-It's an emergency! Yes. -An emergency!
什么事故
What is it?
瓦斯漏气 我忘记关开关
I forgot that I left the gas main on, which leaks!
-听起来好危险 -瓦斯无臭无色无形
-Good gosh. That sounds dangerous. -It's a deadly, odorless, colorless,
会侵害神经系统
liquidless gas that attacks the central nervous system
引起腹泻及面部抽搐
and causes diarrhea and facial tics!
好
Okay. All right.
-迈尔斯 谢谢你打来 -再见
-Well, thanks for calling, Miles. -Okay. Bye-bye.
她似乎相信了
I think she bought it.
告诉我
So, tell me,
是谁派你来的
who sent you?
史密斯先生
Mr. Smith.
这位是史密斯先生吗
Is this Mr. Smith?
不
No.
那是他的律师
That's his lawyer.
无论他们付你多少 我双倍付你
Whatever they're paying you, I'll double.
-现在怎么样 -等气喘乔
What now? We wait for Wheezy Joe.
跟他说取消
We tell him it's a no-go.
小心恶狗
Careful. Rottweilers.
她似乎走了 看来她信以为真
Looks like she's gone. Looks like she bought it.
-好了 这里没有人 -除了恶狗
Good stuff. There's no one here. Except for the Rottweilers.
对 恶狗
Sure. Rottweilers.
你去那边
You go that way.
气喘乔
Wheezy Joe?
气喘乔 幸好你及时赶到
Wheezy Joe, thank God you're in time.
你来得不及时 幸好我们及时赶到
You're not in time. We're in time. Thank God we're in time.
取消行动 懂吗
Look, it's a no-go. You get it?
不用惊动任何人 你可以回家去
No one need be the wiser, so you can just go on home.
再见 真的感谢你
Goodbye. You know, thank you so much.
听到了吗 不 不 不
Hear that? Okay? No, no. No, no.
取消了 不下手 中止行动...
No, no. No-go. No contract. It's off. It's...
-你来说给呆头鹅听 -取消 取消了
-Will you explain to the lunkhead? -No-go. It's a no-go.
我们晚点再结算
We'll settle your contract later.
你被炒鱿鱼了 走啦
Look, you're fired, pal. Let it go. Walk away.
-遣散 -小心别撞到纱门
-Golden parachute. -Don't let the screen door hit you.
-他会说话吗 -卡内拉先生 是这样的
-Does he speak any language? -Here's what happened, Mr. Carnera.
我们觉得...
We feel that...
等一下
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
气喘乔
Wheezy!
就跟他说取消了
Told him it was a no-go.
-两位好 -佛莱迪
-Gentlemen. -Freddy.
-你好 玛丽莲 -你好 迈尔斯
-Hello, Marylin. -Hello, Miles.
-我们在这里初见面 记得吗 -当然记得
-This is where we first met, remember? -Of course I remember.
可惜今天你走出那扇门之后
It's hard to believe that when you walk out that door today,
就永远走出我的人生
you'll be walking out of my life forever.
我也无可奈何
It's not something I wanted either.
不过
But then, I guess
当我知道你买♥♥凶杀我
something inside of me died
我不得不死心
when I realized that you'd hired a goon to kill me.
等等 你买♥♥凶杀我
Wait a minute. You hired him to kill me.
不 你们都别说了
No. Both of you wait a minute.
-谁也没有买♥♥凶杀人 -像真的一样
-Nobody hired anyone to kill anyone. -Hear, hear.
我只知道有人进你的房♥子行窃
Apparently, from what I can gather, a burglar broke into your house.
-迈尔斯的房♥子 -随便啦
-Miles' house. -Whatever!
贼人正想搜掠 突然悔过
A burglar broke in intending to loot the place, repented,
自惭形秽 无地自容 吞枪自尽
became despondent over his lifestyle and shot himself.
那么你我怎么办
So where does that leave you and me?
我们拟定了一份协议初稿
Well, we've outlined a settlement.
条件非常优厚
We think it's very generous.
我的客户愿意考虑和解
My client is prepared to consider a reconciliation.
迈尔斯 出了这么多事 我怎么信任你
But how could I trust you, Miles, after all this?
说得对极了 重点是...
See, that's exactly right. The point is...
玛丽莲 你先伤我的心
You wounded me first, Marylin.
我过去所为不光彩 但我信任过你
I'm not proud of what I've done, but God knows, I did trust you once.
假如你肯多给我们一次机会
If you could just give us another chance.
不好意思
Well, if you'll pardon me here,
但我相信我的客户不会...
but I think my client is well beyond the point of considering...
我要怎样才能信任你 迈尔斯 真正信任你
How could I ever trust you again? I mean really trust you, Miles?
玛丽莲 梅西婚前协议
Marylin, there is nothing in the Massey prenup that says
婚后签依然有效
it can't be executed after the parties wed.
这份真的是梅西婚前协议
Well, if this indeed is a Massey prenup,
假如真是梅西婚前协议...
and a cursory examination tends to support that it is, then...
天啊 玛丽莲 你没有防卫了
Oh, my God, Marylin. You're exposed.
玛丽莲
Marylin.
律师 佛莱迪
Counselor! Freddy!
佛莱迪 这不公平
Freddy! Come on, Freddy! No fair!
佛莱迪
Freddy!
-什么声音 -小律师在互相追逐
-Did you hear something? -Only the patter of little lawyers' feet.
你从哪里找来霍尔的
Where did you find Howard?
那个演员 一个电视制片介绍的 我想你认识他
The actor? From a TV producer. I think you know him.
我给他新节目的灵感 他让我做合伙人
I gave him an idea for a new show, so he made me a partner.
-那么我大概也成为合伙人了 -大概是吧
-I guess that means I'm a partner. -I guess it does.
什么的合伙人
And what exactly is it we're partners in?
谁占到资产 谁占到便宜
Who gets what, and who gets who?
答案在《离婚欢笑一箩筐》
You'll find out on America's Funniest Divorce Videos.
本节目的明星主持人 盖斯派奇
Here's the star of our show, Gus Petch!
我正是盖斯派奇 本节目精彩百出
You goddamn right, folks. I'm Gus Petch. And we got a great show for you.
我们会令你笑 令你哭
We gonna make you laugh. We gonna make you cry.
-最重要的是 我们会把你逮个正着 -逮个正着
-But most of all, we gonna nail your ass! -Ass!
逮个正着
Nail your ass!
逮个正着 逮个正着
Nail your ass! Nail your ass!
鼓掌
盖斯 盖斯 盖斯 盖斯 盖斯
Gus! Gus! Gus! Gus! Gus! Gus! Gus! Gus!