妙婿向钱冲（1983）

罗丝说我需要爱好。
Rose told me I need hobbies.
我在做飞机。梅塞施密特。
I'm making a plane. It's a messerschmitt.
这是一份不错的工作。
It's a nice job.
我告诉你，我受够了一切。
I tell ya, I'm fed up with everything.
我希望四个月后一切都结束的时候我能一觉睡去。
I wanna go to sleep and wake up four months from now when it's all over.
你知道你的问题是什么吗?这整件事对你来说都不是真的。
You know what your problem is? This whole thing ain't real to you.
你不知道你会遇到什么。
You don't know what you're coming into.
你见过莫纳汉百货公♥司♥吗?
Did you ever see Monahan's Department Store?
有一次是我送萝丝去外面的时候。
Once from the outside when I dropped Rose off.
我们为什么不去里面看看呢?
Why don't we go see it from the inside?
你说呢，来吧。我们会开怀大笑。
What do you say, come on. We'll have a few laughs.
嗯?来吧。反正我也需要一件新衬衫。
Huh? Come on. I need a new shirt anyway.
萝丝，厨房♥里有个麦塞施密特。把它打扫干净，好吗?
Rose, there's a messerschmitt in the kitchen. Clean it up, will ya?
一些关节,嗯?
Some joint, huh?
你接手后，让我来修浴室。
When you take over, let me fix the bathrooms here.
他们不在这里上厕所。
They don't go to the bathroom here.
看到了吗?
See this?
有人能帮我们吗?
Could somebody help us here?
我不这么想。
I don't think so.
我告诉你，我的这位朋友，他看，我告诉你，我的这位朋友，他在找一件衬衫。
I tell ya, my friend here, he's look- I tell ya, my friend here, he's lookin' for a shirt.
是的。你有深黑色的衣服吗?
Yeah. You have something in a dark black?
他想要一件能穿四五天的衣服。
He wants something he can wear four, five days in a row.
你们有男士衬衫吗?
You have any men's shirts for men?
你试过陆军/海军商店吗?
Have you tried the Army/Navy store?
很有趣。你再多说一个字，他就懂了。
Very funny. One more word out of you, and he gets it.
来吧。
Come on.
你们俩为什么不聚在一起，做个傻瓜呢?
Why don't you two put your heads together, make an ass out of yourselves?
你会在哪里?
Where're you goin'?
它说，“进来浏览。”
It says, "Come In And Browse."
-我能帮你吗?-不，谢谢。只是随便看看。
- May I help you? - No, thank you. Just browsing.
这里有什么，古董吗?
What have they got in this place, antiques?
不，那些是顾客。
No, those are the customers.
-我能帮你吗?——不,谢谢。只是随便看看。
- May I help you? - No, thanks. Just browsing.
你打算浏览多久?
How long do you intend to browse?
那位女士，你没问她打算浏览多久。
That lady, you didn't ask her how long she intends to browse.
你为什么要问我们打算浏览多久?
How come you're asking us how long we intend to browse?
你看起来不像浏览器。
You don't look like browsers.
浏览器是什么样子的?-也许我是半浏览器。
- What do browsers look like? - Maybe I'm half browser.
他父亲那边。
On his father's side.
不过，我还是希望你不要再浏览了。
Nevertheless, I prefer that you do not browse any longer.
是啊，这是个自♥由♥的国家。
Yeah, well it's a free country.
如果这些人能浏览，我们也能浏览。
Yeah, if these people can browse, we can browse.
尼基，让这位女士看看我们是浏览器吧?
Nicky, let's show the lady we're browsers, huh?
嘿，看看我们。我们浏览。
Hey, look at us. We're browsing.
-嘿，鸭子发♥情♥了。——请!这是18世纪。
- Hey, ducks in heat. - Please! That's 18th century.
各位，最好继续浏览，否则她会把你们赶出去的。
Folks, better keep browsing or she'll kick you out of here.
-看看我们。我们浏览。-这是奇怪还是结束?
- Look at us. We're browsing. - Is this an odd or an end?
女士，如果我买♥♥两张赔率，你能给我们看看你的结局吗?
Hey lady, if I buy two odds, will you show us your end?
哦!
Ohh!
安全。安全!安全!
Security. Security! Security!
——是吗?-巴洛先生，拜托。
- Yes? - Mr. Barlow, please.
-是什么?-你认识一个叫蒙提·卡布莱蒂的人吗?
- What is it? - Do you know a Monty Capuletti?
——是的。-他在上楼的路上
- Yes. - Well, he's on his way upstairs.
是吗?
Is he?
先生们，这些小事先搁一搁吧。
Gentlemen, let's shelve these petty matters for the moment.
我们敬爱的已故总统的女婿马上就要来了，所以我们还是坐下来抽烟喝酒吧。
The son-in-law of our late, beloved president is on his way to join us, so let's just sit around and smoke and drink.
布伦特,布赖斯!
Brent, Brice!
下定决心吧。你喜欢我们谁?
Make up your mind. Which one of us do you like?
舱口。
Down the hatch.
巴洛先生，这个小丑说他认识你。
Mr. Barlow, this joker says he knows you.
这个小丑是莫纳汉家族的一员，格斯。
This joker is part of the Monahan family, Gus.
哦,对不起,先生。
Oh, sorry, sir.
各位，这是蒙蒂·卡布莱蒂和他的朋友尼克·马里诺。
People, this is Monty Capuletti and his friend, Nick Marino.
-不用站着。-蒙蒂，什么风把你吹来了?
- No need to stand. - Monty, what brings you here?
尼奇想买♥♥件衬衫，但我们找不到。
Nicky was lookin' to get a shirt, but we couldn't find any.
你在店里没有谁想买♥♥的东西。
You got nothin' in this store nobody wants to buy.
莫纳汉的客户很高端。
Monahan's has an upscale clientele.
我们所有的绅士顾客都很注重时尚。
All our gentlemen customers are very conscious of style.
男人没有风格。
Men don't have style.
男人穿衣服。女性风格。
Men wear clothes. Women have style.
你想买♥♥哪种衬衫?
What sort of shirt were you looking for?
一个普通的衬衫。
A regular shirt.
看到这件衬衫吗?我们街区的每个人都有这个。
See this shirt? Every guy on our block's got one of these.
你们穿得不一般。
You guys don't dress regular.
你穿上了背心。这里热得要命。
You got on vests. It's hot as hell here.
这些先生们和女士们都是经过精心挑选来为我工作的，他们的穿着也要符合我的要求。
These gentlemen and ladies were handpicked to work for me and dress accordingly.
你从哪里找到他们的，诺亚方舟吗?
Where'd you find these guys, Noah's Ark?
和你。要找到你的裤子可真不容易。
And you. There's a lot of trouble finding your fly.
我真的必须道歉。
I really must apologize.
蒙提，我犯了个错误。
Monty, I've made a mistake.
我不知道你真正的才能是什么。
I didn't realize what your true talents were.
-哦,不。-你很有时尚感。
- Oh, no. - You have such fashion sense.
我们买♥♥的所有东西都错了。全错了。
Everything we've been buying, wrong. All wrong.
告诉我们更多。
Tell us more.
——你的裤子。——我们的裤子。
- Your pants. - Our pants.
你的裤子要有足够的空间这样你坐下的时候就不会裂开。
You gotta have pants with lots of room so when you sit down, they don't split.
还有方便的拉链，这样你就可以调整你的短裤了。
And zippers that work easy so you can fix your shorts.
明白我的意思吗?
Know what I mean?
有拉链的宽松长裤。
Les slacks blousants avec le zip.
无论你说什么。
Whatever you say.
鞋子呢?
What about shoes?
你需要穿起来容易脱下来的鞋子。
Well, you need shoes that go on and off easy.
你知道，没有鞋拔。,没有鞋带。他们会让你慢下来。
You know, no shoe horn. And no laces. They slow you up.
是的，我看到了。
Yes, I see that.
笨重的黑色邮差牛津鞋，配着可爱的白色棉短袜。
Chunky, black mailman oxfords, with adorable little white cotton socks.
宽松的保龄球衫。
Big blousy bowling shirts.
”梅尔。像个普通人。”
"Mel. The regular guy look."
什么?
What?
你不可能这么疯狂。他看起来像清♥仓♥大甩卖♥♥。
You can't be this crazy. He looks like a rummage sale.
我知道我在做什么。
I know what I'm doing.
这正是我一直在等待的机会。
This is just the opportunity I've been waiting for.
你知道吗，失业的无聊真的会让人喝酒。
You know, the boredom of unemployment could really drive a man to drink.
是的，你也可以。
Yeah, so could you too.
嘿，放松点，尼奇，好吗?不要着急。
Hey, take it easy, Nicky, will ya? Take it easy.
蒙蒂，我们需要你这样的头脑。
Monty, we need a mind like yours.
我想给你一个莫纳汉时装店的时尚顾问职位。
I'd like to offer you a position as fashion consultant to Monahan's.
我谁?
Who me?
我不是时尚顾问。你怎么了?
I'm no fashion consultant. What's the matter with you?
接受这份工作。接受这份工作。
Take the job. Take the job.
我们做的第一件事就是炒了楼下那个阻止我们浏览的女人。
The first thing we do is we fire that broad downstairs that stopped us from browsing.
给我塞吉奥。跟踪阿方索。给卡布莱蒂先生做个预算。
Get me Sergio. Track down Alfonso. Draw up a budget for Mr. Capuletti.
我们把这件事泄露给媒体吧。
Let's leak the story to the press.
你好。
Hello.
-卡布莱蒂先生，拜托。-给你的。这是你的妻子。
- Mr. Capuletti, please. - It's for you. It's your wife.
罗斯，他们把我的衣服都拿走了!
Hey Rose, they took all my clothes!
你什么时候回家?
When are you coming home?
我怎么能回家呢?我没衣服穿。
How can I come home? I got nothing to wear.
我稍后再打给你。在这里,把这个。
I'll call you later. Here, take this.
-请转过去。——下一个衬衫。
- Turn away, please. - Next shirt.
别紧张，亲爱的。我没有好的一面。
Take it easy, honey. I got no good side.
你能转过身去吗?
Could you please turn away?
刮掉鞋底上的口香糖，分♥析♥鞋子。
Scrape all the gum off the soles and analyze the shoes.
-这些短裤应该复♥制♥吗?-是的，复♥制♥和熏蒸过。
- Should these shorts be duplicated? - Yes, duplicated and fumigated.
巴洛先生，我的衬衫是黑色的。
Mr. Barlow, I have the blacks for the shirts.
现在那是卡布莱蒂先生的部门了。
That's Mr. Capuletti's department now.
我有午夜黑，乌鸦黑，甘草黑-如果尼奇在这里，你就会被打得青一块紫一块。
I have midnight black, raven black, licorice black- If Nicky was here, you'd have black-and-blue black.
12英寸。
Twelve inches.
天啊，你大错特错了。
Boy, you're way off.
女士们,先生们。蒙提·卡布莱蒂的赞美，邀请莫纳汉的《普通人的样子》首映式。
Ladies and gentlemen. Compliments of Monty Capuletti, invitations to the premiere of Monahan's "The Regular Guy Look."
酒吧老板，我要一杯加柠檬的Perrier。
Barkeeper, I'll have a Perrier with a twist.