送子先生

真的
Really?
好东西
A little treat?
你给我买♥♥了两个汉堡
You got me two burgers!
我要取消明晚与爱玛的约会
So, I'm trying to cancel tomorrow night with Emma
我觉得今天我能早点出去 这样我们做什么都可以了
and I think I can get off a bit early, so we can do whatever.
明天你想怎样都可以 明晚都听维格你的
Whatever you want. Tomorrow night will be Viggds choice.
好了 我要走了
All right, I'm off.
祝你玩好 大卫
Good game, David.
你没事吧
Everything okay?
是啊
Yeah.
想打球吗
You want to play?
是啊
Yeah!
快点 拿好你的东西 我们走
All right. Come on, get your stuff. Let's go.
快点吧 小心 小心
We gotta hurry. Careful, careful, careful.
你有没有短裤什么的
Do you have any sweatpants, or anything?
没有
No.
你穿这身可不行 又不是去夜店 维格
You don't want to wear that stuff. It's not a nightclub, Viggo.
有没有我能穿的短裤
Do you have any shorts for me?
我可没有你能穿的短裤
I don't think my shorts are gonna fit you.
像这样
Like this.
干什么
What?
篮筐在上面
Up there.
运球 运球 运球
Dribble, dribble, dribble.
我的天
Oh' my...
你得运球
You just gotta dribble. You gotta dribble.
所以 你要...你要运球
So, you just... You just dribble.
运球 运球 你必须...
Dribble, dribble! You gotta dribble! You gotta...
他为什么不运球
Why doesn't he dribble?
大卫 下周六你一定得去
David, you absolutely have to be there next Saturday.
所有人都去了
Everybody's gonna be there.
实际上下周六我和爱玛约好了
Actually, I have plans next Saturday with Emma.
但你才是提出所有兄弟姐妹
But you were the one who came up with this whole concept
互相认识这个主意的人
of brothers and sisters finding one another.
是啊 我知道 但是我已经约了爱玛
Yeah, I understand, but I already have plans with Emma.
无论如何我和你已经黏在一起很久了
Anyway, I spend a heck of a lot of time with you.
你知道我还有个真正的家
You know, I also have a real family.
家
Family.
你说的是"真正的家"
You said "real family."
-没有 -你...你...
-No. -You... You...
不要仅仅因为你要继续你的生活
Just because you decided to turn the page
就否认我们全都不存在
on that period of your life doesn't mean we don't exist.
我们都在我们也是真实的 我们也是你真正的家人
We exist. We exist for real. We're also your real family.
维格
Viggo.
维格
Viggo!
我只想说我希望你开心
All I'm saying is, I hope that you're happy.
我希望你能意识到我是骗了爱玛才来的
I hope you realize that I had to lie to Emma to be here.
我骗的是怀着我孩子的那个女人
That I lied to the woman carrying my child.
你"真正的"孩子
Your "real" child.
维格 关于那次口误我们谈了很多
Viggo, we have talked about the incident a lot.
我不希望我们一直纠缠在一点小小的误会上
I don't think we need to continue to dwell on our little misunderstanding.
我来了 你难道没看到么
I am here. Do you see that I'm here?
你没看到我来了吗
Do you see that I am here?
-和你"冒牌的"孩子们 -冒牌的
-With your fake kids. -Fake?
冒牌的 维格你究竟在说什么
Fake? Viggo, what the hell are you talking about?
我是说如果我们不是真正的 那我们算什么
I mean, if we're not real, what are we?
-尼采曾说过...-去他妈的尼采
-Nietzsche said... -Screw Nietzsch-ka!
去他妈的幼儿园
Screw Kindergarten!
幼儿园
Kierkegaard?
应该是走这边
I think it's this way.
去他妈的尼采 去他妈的幼儿园
Screw Nietzsche! Screw Kierkegaard!
去他妈的...
And screw... The...
你看你多一个人的名字都不知道
You can't even come up with one more.
也就这样 你只知道两个人而已
That's it, you're done at two.
去他妈的那些家伙
Look, screw all of those dudes.
他们没有一个人有过533个孩子
None of those guys had 533 real kids.
你把我带到这来是要曝光我
Did you bring me here to expose me?
不是
No.
我要一个人独享你
I want to keep you all to myself.
-给 把这些放在烤肉架旁边 -放在烤肉架旁边
-Put these next to the grill, here. -Next to the grill.
特殊秘方
Special recipe.
这是祖传的秘方 你们肯定喜欢
It's a secret family recipe, but you'll like this.
哇
Wow!
你们有看到豆腐放在烤肉架上发生了什么
Do you see what happens when the tofu hits the grill?
什么都没发生
Nothing.
把豆腐吃到嘴巴里也是一样的感觉
Exactly what happens when the tofu hits our taste buds.
好啦 大家站近一点
Okay. Get in nice and tight.
好吧 又来一位 靠近点
All right, we got one more. Get in close.
-好了 -我能一起吗
-All right. -Can I get in?
好啊
All right.
大家都来挤一挤 能靠多近就多近
Okay, everybody, just scooch in. Get as close as you can.
左边去些人 能不能动一动
Okay, on the left. Can you move in just a little?
好了 大家一起说"茄子"
All right. Say, "Cheese."
茄子
Cheese!
嘿 这位就是赖安
Hey. This is Ryan.
-嘿 赖安 -你好吗 赖安
-Hey, Ryan. -What's up, Ryan?
-嘿 赖安 -嗨
-Hey, Ryan. -Hi.
最棒的一天 对吗
That was the best, right?
我玩的很开心
I had a great time.
所以...就这样了
So, uh... I guess this is it.
祝你开心
Have a great day.
赖安
Ryan?
我能不能...谢谢...
Could I just have a... Just... Thanks.
我呢...
L...
我想...我想告诉你...
I just wanted to... I wanted to tell you...
我是你的父亲
I'm your father.
好了
Okay.
所以...
So...
以后我会常来看你的
You'll keep seeing more of me.
周末玩的很开心
That was a fun weekend. Okay.
你一点也不紧张啊
You seem way too relaxed.
这一刻对我很重要的
This is a great moment for me.
我们的关系迈入了一个新阶段
It's a new stage in our relationship.
不是
No.
-不是吗 -不是
-No? -No.
你要记住这点 不管他们怎么说我
It's really important that you know there is no truth in anything
没有一件事是真的
they are going to say about me. None.
你要知道他们就喜欢损我
You must understand, they love to humiliate me.
他们都是刀子嘴 真的
They're monsters. Really.
-他们都是刀子嘴 -好的
-They are monsters. -Okay.
我要敬爱玛一杯
I want to propose a toast to Emma.
我认为这很重要 因为这个...
Because I think it's important that you know that this...
-仪式 -仪式
-Rite of passage. -Rite of passage.
不只是要损一下大卫
Well, its not just about humiliating David.
尽管那只是目的之一
Although, it is one of the objectives.
如果我们把大卫的丑事曝光...
And if we have exposed David's past to the harsh light of day...
我觉得很重要
Well, I think its important,
因为你需要了解你要嫁给什么人
because you gotta know what you're getting into.
然后既然你都了解了...
And now that you know all this...
我还有一些照片
I have some more pictures.
不要那张"神枪手"
Not Sniper.
"神枪手"
Sniper?
是他的摇滚乐团 他们都化了妆
It was his rock band. They wore a lot of makeup.
当时是八十年代 人人都化妆
It was the 80's. Everybody wore makeup.
我在八十年代就不化妆
I didn't wear makeup in the 80's.
听着 既然都要知道的话...
But look, now that all this is known...
我也想让你了解
I think it's also very important for you to know
沃兹尼艾克家族曾有辉煌时
that the Wozniaks have had some wonderful times
-也曾有艰难时 -别这样
-and some hard times. -No.
爸爸
Dad?
当我和我妻子刚结婚不久时
When my wife and I were newlyweds,