亲友皆死（2021）

1月1日
你好
Hello
早上好
good morning
新年快乐
Happy New Year!
-你叫什么来着？ -格雷戈里
-What's your name again? -Grzegorz.
丹布拉夫斯基
Dbrowski.
初级侦探
Junior detective.
那你准备好你的处♥女♥秀了？
So? Ready to pop your cherry?
是 长官
Yes, sir.
这里真够难闻的
It smells terrible in here.
你会习惯的
You'll get used to it.
我肠胃不好 还有…
I just have a weak stomach and?
世界末日…我的错…
End of the world?My fault?
我的朋友都死了…为什么？
All my friends are dead?Why?
这里是什么情况？
What do we have here?
莫雷蒂披萨
抱歉 我…
I'm sorry, I was just?
只是…我的肠胃…
It's just?my stomach and all?
谢谢长官
Thank you, sir.
我现在没事了
I'm fine now.
哦 天啊
Oh, God.
长官…
Inspector, sir?
长官 刚才的纸是 从你口袋里拿出来的吧？
Surely you took that paper out of your own pocket? Right?
侦探 长官
Inspector, sir!
长官 我们刚才可能毁掉了关键证据
Sir, we've just potentially destroyed key evidence.
我们必须上报
We have to report this.
哇
Whoa.
这里到底发生了什么？长官
What the hell happened here, sir?
用一种你能理解的语言来说：
To say it in a language you'd understand:
史诗般的失败
an epic fail.
-什么？ -没什么
-What? -Never mind.
先告诉我在这次屠♥杀♥期间 这家的父母去哪里了
For starters, tell me where the parents were during this carnage.
在塔特拉山度假
Holidaying at the Tatra mountains.
在山上度假
Holidays at the mountains.
还真有创意
How original.
他们上天 这里下地狱
They went up a hill, and everything went downhill from there.
-知道我的意思吗？ -你在开玩笑？
-See what I mean? -Are you being funny?
不 长官 抱歉
No, sir. I'm sorry.
他们现在在哪里？
And where are they now?
在医院里 这家的妈妈回家后 受到了严重的心理打击
In hospital. The mother experienced a psychogenic shock when they came home.
她现在正在接受药物治疗 爸爸也是 在吃镇定剂
She's now on medication. So is the father. Under sedatives.
他有自杀倾向
He was being suicidal.
他不能原谅自己把枪留在家里
He can't forgive himself for leaving a gun in the house.
他的枪有执照吗？
Is his gun licensed?
有 他是名业余的收藏家
Yes. He's an amateur collector.
对枪感兴趣
Passionate about guns, in general.
真是一团糟
What a mess.
你怎么会死在这里？
Oh, how did you end up here?
很漂亮…是吗？
Pretty thing?isn't it?
呃 是啊
Well, yes.
你能看出什么？长官
What does it tell you, sir?
我妻子一定会很喜欢的
That my wife will sure appreciate it.
来吧
Come on.
这么说 这家的父母都在医院
So we have both parents in hospital,
他们的女儿在醉汉收♥容♥所♥
their daughter in a drunk tank?
-少管所 -他们的儿子呢？
-A youth shelter. -And their son?
叫马雷克
Marek.
-这是马雷克吗？ -是
-Is this Marek? -This is Marek.
马雷克一个人在家
Marek was home alone.
就像《小鬼当家》里的凯文一样 看来他也办了个死亡派对
Just like Kevin. Looks like he threw a killer party, too.
-我怎么和你说开玩笑的事的？ -叫我不要开玩笑
-What did I say about being funny? -Not to go down that road.
写下来 这是第二条规矩
Write that down. That's rule number two.
看来这家伙嘴里被塞了球
Looks like, due to being ball-gagged,
被自己的呕吐物噎死了
this guy choked to death on his own vomit.
这个死法太糟糕了
What a terrible way to go.
你可能听说过 我上一个搭档在行动中死了
You may have heard my last partner died in action.
长官 你怎么看？
So what are you thinking, sir?
根据所有线索…
Based on all the clues?
我可以总结一条：
I can summarize it as:
哪里出了问题
Something went wrong.
-现在可以了？ -是
-Can we do this now? -Yes.
走吧
Come on.
照一张 拜托了
Take one, please.
我总是会和新搭档合个影
I always get a picture taken with a new partner.
前一天…
-你兴奋吗？ -是啊
-You excited? -Yeah.
我终于要见你的朋友们了
I'll finally meet your friends.
是的 马雷克和其他人
Yeah, Marek and all the rest.
很好
Cool.
你没事吧？
Something's wrong?
没事 我昨晚没睡好
Everything's fine. I didn't sleep enough last night.
我的小懒虫
My sleepyhead!
你们俩开个房♥间吧
Ugh! Get a room, you two!
-奥利维亚 -你好 美女
-Oliwia! -Hi, pretty face.
-你来这里干嘛？ -你以为能躲得过我？
-What are you doing here? -You thought you could hide from me?
妈妈打电♥话♥给我了
Mommy called me.
她儿子从大学里回来 她可开心了
She's over the moon about her son coming back from college.
-她跟我说了她女儿的事儿 -她说了什么？
-She gave us a lecture on her daughter. -What did she say?
滥交很危险
Oh, you know, the dangers of your hooking around,
性病之类的 非常不错的圣诞晚餐谈话
STDs and all that. Great Christmas dinner conversation.
你吸毒 让她担心
Your drug use worries her.
-你跟她说了什么？ -让她更担心
-What did you tell her? -To panic more.
嗨
Hi!
她怎么来了？我没请她呀
Why her? She's not invited.
你
You!
你一定是安吉莉卡
You must be Angelica.
这家伙说了很多你的事儿 我连你内衣尺码都知道
This guy talks so much about you, I even know your bra size.
是我 34B
That's me, 34B!
你看 她真逗
Here you go! She's also funny!
-嗨 老兄 -嗨
-Hi, man. -Hi.
规矩是 除了楼上哪里都可以去
As a rule, you can go anywhere but upstairs.
我这帮朋友可棒了 卫生间在这里
My folks' rule. Bathroom's here.
派对在客厅 这里是厨房♥ 有酒和食物
The living room is the party. The kitchen, aka booze and food.
菲利普 给我们拍一张
Filip! Take a pic of us?
好
Sure.
这是菲利普 我们的派对摄影师 刚从戒毒所出来
That's Filip. Our party photographer. Just came out of drug rehab.
你该帮我保密的
You were to keep it discreet.
我告诉过你
I told you before!
要想解决问题 首先要承认问题
The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.
他很不错吧？是不可替代的
Isn't he just great? Irreplaceable.
我们可爱的马雷克
Our lovely Marek.
菲利普 他只是惹了毒品的麻烦
Filip?He just hit a rough patch with drugs,
但他其实是个很酷的家伙
but he's a really cool guy.
也许有点过分敏感或者夸张
A little oversensitive or dramatic perhaps.
但这无伤大雅
But, you know, small and harmless.
这是阿纳斯塔西娅和乔丹 以前是恩爱的情人
These two former lovebirds are Anastasia and Jordan.
他们以前很幸福 但后来就不了
They used to be happy, but there's not much happiness left.
她更追求精神上的东西 但他宁愿做个说唱歌♥手
She's more into spirituality, he'd rather be another Post Malone.
你答应今晚跟我一起度过的 你知道这对我来说有多特别
You promised to spend tonight with me! You know how special this is to me.
-现在不行 宝贝 -那要等到何时？
-Not now, babe. -When then?
你能给我一点空间吗？ 我想把重点放在这里
Would you give me some space? I'm trying to focus on essentials here.
你害我不能专心 我们晚点再聊
You're distracting me. We'll hang out later!
好了…
Right?
这是贾克 他是法国人
This is Jacques. He's French.
-摩♥门♥教♥徒 -摩♥门♥教♥徒？
-A Mormon, apparently. -A Mormon?
昨天有两位传教士来敲我的门
Two missionaries knocked on my door yesterday.
我以为他们是耶♥和♥华♥见证会的 我就开始对他们大喊大叫
I took them for Jehovah's witnesses. started yelling at them, as you do.
但其实他们找到了我丢失的钱包
But in fact they came 'cause they found my lost wallet.
明白吗？如果上帝真的存在 他一定很喜欢我
Get it? If a God exists, He must totally like me.
所以因果循环 为了感谢他们
So for good karma, in order to thank them,
我就邀请他们参加派对 不过只有他来了
I invited them to the party. Only he showed up.
他波兰语不太好 不过他没事儿