是，首相（1986）

May I clarify the question?
除了外♥交♥部♥ 还有谁知道外♥交♥部♥的秘密?
Who knows Foreign Office secrets apart from the Foreign Office?
这简单 只有俄♥国♥
Oh, that's easy. Only the Kremlin.
圣乔治岛的事真令人厌烦
This bother about St George's Island is getting to be a bore.
20年前我们让他们独♥立♥ 就是一大错误
We made the real mistake giving them their independence.
大势所趋吧 变革的洪流之类?
Wasn't that right? Wind of change and all?
对 不过方式错了 当初应该分割那个岛
Yes, but not that way. We should have partitioned the island.
就像我们分割印度 塞浦路斯 巴勒斯坦 爱尔兰?
Like we did in India, Cyprus and Palestine? And Ireland?
没错 那是我们一贯的殖民地独♥立♥政策
Yes, that was our invariable practice with the colonies.
从未失效
It always worked.
分割国家不是总引起内战吗?
But didn't partition always lead to civil war?
像印度 塞浦路斯 巴勒斯坦和爱尔兰那样
As in India, Cyprus, Palestine and Ireland.
没错 但也使他们有事可做
Yes, but it kept them busy.
不与其他国家打仗 自己同自己打
Instead of fighting other people, they fought each other.
对 挺好的 省得我们定政策 干杯
Yes, rather good. Saved us having a policy. Cheers.
汉弗莱爵士 嗯 伯纳?
Sir Humphrey? Yes, Bernard?
汉弗莱爵士 嗯 伯纳?
Um, Sir Humphrey... Yes, Bernard?
能谈谈吗? 好的 伯纳
Could I have a word? Yes, Bernard?
和你们俩 好 什么事?
With both of you. Yes. What about?
圣乔治岛 又怎么了?
St George's. What now?
貌似首相完全不了解情况
The PM seems to be completely in the dark.
好 非常好 还有什么?
Good. Excellent. Anything else?
我在想 是不是有什么事他不知道?
I wonder, is there anything he doesn't know?
我都不知从哪说起 伯纳
I hardly know where to begin, Bernard.
不 我是说重要的事
No, I mean anything important.
外♥交♥部♥长会告诉他的
He has the Foreign Secretary to tell him.
他好像觉得外♥交♥部♥长也不全知道
He seems to think he doesn't know either.
那可不是
I should hope not!
你是在暗示首相应该知道吗?
Are you implying that he ought to know what is happening?
他是首相啊
Well, he is the Prime Minister.
对 可是伯纳 让政客
Bernard, it's simply too dangerous to let politicians
参与外交太危险了
become involved with diplomacy.
外交旨在存活到下世纪
Diplomacy is about surviving until the next century.
政♥治♥旨在存活到星期五下午
Politics is about surviving to the Friday afternoon!
世界上有157个独♥立♥国家
There are 157 independent countries in the world.
我们和他们打了多年交道了
We've dealt with them for years.
几乎全体议员都对此一窍不通
There's hardly an MP who knows anything.
给他们张世界地图
Show them a map of the world,
大多数人连怀特岛都找不到(英国南部)
most have a job finding the Isle of Wight.
政客不会这么无知吧?
Surely politicians can't be that ignorant?
非常好 坐下 伯纳
Very well. Sit down, Bernard.
上伏塔在哪?(西非伏塔河上游) 嗯
Where is the Upper Volta? Em...
乍得的首都叫什么? 嗯
What's the capital of Chad? Um...
马里的官方语言是什么? 嗯
What language do they speak in Mali? Em...
秘鲁的总统是谁? 嗯
Who's the president of Peru? Um...
喀麦隆信奉什么国教?
What is the national religion of Cameroon?
嗯 伯纳?
Em... Bernard?
你应该参选议员
You should stand for Parliament.
不 我是说在我们民♥主♥国家
No, what I mean is if it's a democracy,
大家难道不讨论吗?
shouldn't people sort of discuss things a bit?
当然 充分讨论 不参考事实吗?
Of course. Full discussion. And have the facts?
当然不!
Of course not!
他们不需要 事实只会把问题搞复杂
They don't want them. Facts complicate things.
媒体 人♥民♥和他们选的领袖
All the press, the people and their elected leaders
只想知道谁好谁坏
want to know is who are the goodies and baddies.
问题是为了国家利益
The interests of Britain nearly always involve doing
总得和人们认为的坏人做交易
deals with people they think are baddies.
以及偶尔抛弃不合作的好人
And not helping the goodies occasionally.
所以我们避免讨论外交事务
So we avoid discussion of foreign affairs.
或者只在外♥交♥部♥之内讨论
Or rather we keep it inside the Foreign Office
只制定一项政策 提交外♥交♥部♥长
then we produce one policy for the Foreign Secretary,
那就是我们的结论
which is our considered view.
他照办
And he can act upon it.
没有其他选择?没有备选方案? 没有
No options? No alternatives? None.
如果他不满意呢?
What if he's not satisfied?
要是他敦促 我们会再看看
If pressed, we look at it again.
并得出另一结论?
And come up with a different view?
当然不是 同一结论
Of course not! We come up with the same view.
要是他非要选择呢? 显然 伯纳
What if he demands options? It's obvious.
外♥交♥部♥会给他三个选择
The F.O. present him with three options,
其中两个实际上完全一样
two of which are, in fact, exactly the same.
第三个则完全不能接受
And the third is totally unacceptable.
比如轰炸华沙或入侵法国
Like bombing Warsaw or invading France.
有时我们鼓励外♥交♥部♥长
We occasionally encourage the Foreign Secretary to
自己出政策
produce his own policy,
然后告诉他不出48小时
then we tell him it will inevitably lead to World War Three,
那必将引发第三次世界大战
perhaps within 48 hours.
知道了 我真笨 对不起
I see. I'm sorry to appear stupid...
说哪里话 伯纳
Oh, perish the thought, Bernard.
可据我经验 大臣很在乎
In my experience, ministers are concerned about
政策对国内政♥治♥意见的影响
the effect of policy on domestic opinion.
这个体系似乎不允许这样
Our system doesn't seem to allow for that.
当然不 我们关注全球
Of course not. We take the global view.
以世界利益为准
We ask what's best for the world.
多数大臣关心<每日邮报>会怎么说
Most ministers would ask what will the ''Daily Mail'' say!
伯纳 我们不能把外交政策
We can't have foreign policy made by yobbos
交给报界编辑或后座议员这类流氓
like Fleet Street editors or backbench MPs!
或内阁大臣 或内阁大臣
Or Cabinet ministers. Or Cabinet ministers.
我们作正确决定
We take the right decisions
让他们解决政♥治♥问题
and let them sort out the politics later.
谁? 好的 请进 惠特莫夫人 谢谢
Yes? Yes, come in, Mrs Whitmore. Thank you.
如果外♥交♥部♥长不接受外♥交♥部♥的意见...?
If the Foreign Secretary won't accept this...?
这是个自♥由♥国度 他总可以辞职
It's a free country. He can always resign.
怎能这么对首相?
How can you treat the PM like this?
他当然担心圣乔治岛
Surely he is right to worry about St George's IS.
毕竟那是个民♥主♥国家
After all, It is the democracy!
很快就不是了
Not for long.
这是最新的电报
This is the fresh telegram.
东也门正筹备入侵
The East Yemen are preparing to invade
以支援左翼游击队
in support of the Marxist guerrillas.
真糟糕 是也不是
That's awful. Yes and no.
对圣乔治政♥府♥糟透了
It is moderately bad news for the government of St George's,
但对游击队很好
but very good for the guerrillas.
那岛民怎么办?
What about the islanders?
伯纳 你说话像个政客
Bernard, you're reacting like a politician.
对不起 但我们怎么帮他们? 什么都不做
What are we going to do to help them? Nothing.
要是他们请求我们呢?
What if St George's appeals to us?
我们给他们一切支持 除了帮忙
We'll give them every support, short of help.
要是首相非要帮助?
What if the Prime Minister insists that we help them?
那就遵从"四阶战术"
Then we follow the four-stage strategy.
是什么?
What's that?
外♥交♥部♥标准危机应对策略
The standard F.O. response in a time of crisis.
第一阶段 我们宣称什么事都没有
In stage one we say nothing is going to happen.
第二阶段 说也许有事发生 但我们不该采取行动
Stage two, it may happen, but we should do nothing.
第三阶段 说也许应该行动
Stage three, maybe we should do something about it,
但我们什么都做不了
but there's nothing we can do.
第四阶段 说也许当初能做点什么
Stage four, maybe there was something we could have done,
但现在已太迟了
but it's too late now.
下午的电报 首相
Afternoon telegrams, Prime Minister.
谢谢 路克
Thank you, Luke.
伯纳在哪? 他在汉弗莱爵士那
Where's Bernard? I think he's with Sir Humphrey.
东也门有部队调动? 并不严重
Troop movements in East Yemen? It's not significant.
美国大使提过东也门
The American ambassador mentioned it.
真的? 他竟然还听说过
Really? I'm surprised he'd heard of it.
他们要做什么?
What are they up to?
只是准备对西也门进行常规侵略
Just preparing a regular raid on West Yemen.
我们没什么好担心的?
Nothing for us to worry about?
完全不必担心 首相
Nothing at all. Prime Minister
他还提到了圣乔治岛
He said something about St George's, too.
真的? 真有学问
Really? Educated man.
作为美国人