真相（2021）

所以你是问我感到惊讶吗？
So, are you asking if I was surprised?
我说不好
I don't know.
或许是
I mean, maybe I was.
你自以为了解一个人呢 因为你们曾经同患难
Look, you can think you know someone because you've been through shit together.
或因为你们一起长大
Or because you came up together.
但其实要想真正知道 一个人的脑子里在想什么
But to actually know what's going on in a person's head,
或者他们内心的感受 我是说…
or in their heart, I mean...
这不可能
You can't know that.
根本不可能
You can't.
就拿我来说 人们都自认为了解我
Like with me, I mean, people... people think that they know me
因为我逗他们笑 或因为他们看过我的演出
because I made them laugh or because they've been to a show.
但他们不知道我为了登上舞台 都做了什么
But they don't know what I did to get here.
或者为了留在舞台又付出了什么代价
Or what it takes to stay here.
当一个人无路可退的时候
When a person's back is against the wall,
就要竭尽所能 不让自己失去手中的一切
and they gotta do whatever they can to keep from losing what they got...
这时你就能看出那个人的本质
that's when you get to see who a person is.
以及他的能耐
Or what they're capable of.
知道了此人的本质或能耐…
You know that about someone...
或许…
Well, then, maybe...
或许这样你才能说了解他
maybe then you can say that you know 'em.
但话说回来
But then again,
知道了这些后
you know that...
或许你就不想了解了
maybe you wouldn't want to.
♪ You don't wanna fuck with me ♪
♪ Got the police bustin' at me ♪
♪ But they can't do nothin' to a G ♪
剧名：第 1 章：喜剧之王
♪ Now, you know how we do it, like a G What really go on in the mind of a nigga ♪
一周前
♪ Money over bitches Not bitches over money ♪
这边 基德 - 今晚的第一位嘉宾是我的最爱之一
Right this way, Kid.Our first guest is one of my favorites.
他已经无数次做客节目
He's been here many times before.
他的新电影《反宇宙》 如今正在影院上映
His new film The Anti-verse is playing in theaters now
并且即将冲破10亿美元的票房♥
and about to cross one billion dollars at the box office.
本周末 他会回故乡费城
This weekend, he'll be headed back to his hometown, Philadelphia,
对 友好之城
yeah, the City of Brotherly Love,
开启自己的全球喜剧巡演 《我怎么跟你说的？》
for the start of his worldwide comedy tour, "What Did I Tell You?"
我们很荣幸请到他
We're so lucky to have him here...
我很骄傲地称他为“朋友”
...and I'm proud to call him a friend.
喜剧明星、电视明星、电影明星 企业家、大亨
Comedy star, TV star, movie star, entrepreneur, mogul,
慈善家、梦中情人
philanthropist, dreamboat.
让我们热情欢迎…
Let's give a warm welcome for...
基德小子
The Kid.
谢谢
Thank you. Thank you.
然后我们看了《窃来之财》
And then we saw S tolen Money. My wife and I couldn't stop laughing.
我和妻子忍♥不住地捧腹大笑 我们看了两次
We stayed in the theater and watched it twice.
那剧本是我写的
Oh, I wrote that.
知道吗 基德？
And you know what, Kid?
第二次看的时候我都哭了 那个小孩的情节真感人
I cried the second time too. The stuff with that little kid.
谢谢 谢谢夸奖
Thank you. I appreciate you, man.
我们要起飞了
We're gonna, uh, take off
有什么需要尽管提
If you need anything, just ask.
经过休斯顿的时候跟我说一声
Oh! Uh, when we get over Houston, let me know.
能不能打开窗户？我想丢点东西出去
Maybe open the plane? I wanna throw some shit out.
他说的是我
He's talking about me.
不行 - 不行吗？
I can't. - No?
打开机窗是违法行为
It's illegal to open it
那么做违法
It's illegal.
我知道 就是开玩笑的 我在逗你
I know that, I was joking. I'm fucking with you.
早上好 赫谢尔 早 比莉 - 早上好
Morning, Herschel. Morning, Billie. - Morning.
看来我想得没错
I see I was right,
所有人都坐头等舱 除了那个让基德更搞笑的人
that everyone here is in first except for the person who makes Kid funnier.
托德 - 好
Todd. - Okay. So...
等你让他成为喜剧大♥师♥ 就能坐头等舱了
Once you make him hilarious, you get to come in first class.
这是团队的规矩
That's the team rule.
今早的《艾伦秀》怎么样？
How did Ellen go this morning?
还是老样子 我都上过那节目20次了 - 她很喜欢你
Same as always. I've done it 20 times. - She loves you.
没什么两样 还是很棒 - 各位 我有件事要告诉你们
Nothing's different. It was great.I, uh, I have something to tell you, guys.
有人请我… - 抱歉
Um, I got this offer, um... - Excuse me?
那不是你的座位 对吧？
That's not your seat, is it?
可恶 你是怎么知道的？
Oh, shit. How the fuck do you know?
好吧 那我走了 但祝你们旅途愉快
Okay. Okay, I'm gonna go, but you guys have fun here.
我们在聊开玩笑的事 如果玩笑是一个人…你看起来很不错
We're talking about jokes. If a joke was a person...You look great.
我们落地后见 比莉 - 你今天太刻薄了
See you, Billie, on the ground. - You're so mean today.
今天好刻薄哦 - 别惹她生气
So mean today. - Don't cross her.
老天爷
Holy shit.
嘿 伙计 是你！
Hey, man, it's you!
我懂了 你是保镖 对吧？
Now I get it. Bodyguard, right? Right?
他跟我一起
He's with me.
你是费城人
You're from Philly.
我还记得上大学时 看过你在拉夫屋的表演
I remember seeing you at the Laff House back in college.
你知道你最好笑的梗是什么吗？
Know what the funniest bit you ever did was?
就是黑人说“黑老弟”的50种不同含义
The 50 different meanings when Black folks say "nigga."
好笑 简直太好笑了
Funny. So funny.
“黑老弟！”
"Nigga!"
“黑老弟！”
"Nigga!"
听着 你还是坐下吧
Look here, man, you might wanna sit down.
嘿
Whoa. Hey. Hey.
冷静 赫尔希 冷静 他就是个粉丝
Chill out, Hersch. Chill out. He's a fan.
他虽然是个激动的粉丝 但也是粉丝 你知道刚在这里的那女孩吗？
He's an excited fan, but he's still a fan. You know that girl that was just here?
跟你说话的那个女孩？这梗是她写的
Who you was talking to? She's responsible for that. She wrote that.
太好笑了
So funny.
我会替你向她问好
I'll be sure to send your love.
但我觉得你的表现方式有点冒犯人
But I think the way you just delivered it was aggressive.
我懂 你是想给我留个印象
That was a lot. I get it, you're trying to make an impression.
所以我想告诉你 你做到了
So I just want you to know that you did.
你确实给我留下了印象 - 谢谢
You made one. - Thank you.
你放松点
You can relax.
老天 我说的是“黑老弟” 不是“黑鬼”
Oh, my God, I said "ah" not "er."
这是有区别的 对吧 基德？ - 没有
There's a difference, right, Kid? - No.
其实没有什么区别 你坐下休息一会吧
No, there's actually not a difference. Why don't you just relax?
你居然坐商业航♥班♥？
You're flying commercial, huh?
我要是像你那么有钱 肯定会买♥♥私… - 兄弟
If I had your money, I'd fly private... - Dude.
你该坐下 马上要起飞了
It's time to take your seat, we're about to take off. Have a seat.
你是经纪人吗？
Oh, you're the manager? Oh...
对哦
Right. Right, right, right, right.
先生 你可以坐下吗？ - 没问题
Sir, can you take your seat? - Absolutely.
你负责说段子 他负责赚钱 对吧？ - 祝你旅途愉快 先生
You tell jokes, he keeps you rich, right? - Have a good flight, sir.
太不现实了
It's unreal.
好不现实
It's unreal.
我手♥机♥没电了 你有充电器吗？
Fuck. My phone dead. You got a charger?
我不能借给你 抱歉 我在工作
Uh, I need my chargers on this. I'm sorry, I'm working.
我可以发消息给酒店 让他们准备一个
I could text the hotel, they'll have one waiting.
赫尔希 托德真没用 有充电器吗？ - 好 让我看看 老大
Hersch. - Yeah.- Todd's useless, got a charger? - Yeah, let me check, boss.
嘿
Hey.
你可以用我的 兄弟
You can use mine, bro.
记得还给我就好
Just remember to give it back.
不是说我不信任你 毕竟…是你嘛
Not that I don't trust you, I mean... you're you.
我是个黑老弟 - 对 你是我的黑老弟！
I'm a nigga. - Yeah. You're my nigga!
我真想把你打个半死
I'm two seconds from knocking you the fuck you out.
赫尔希 老天 赫尔希 别这样 - 听到没？
Hersch, goddamn, Hersch, please. - You hear me?
那我们能有什么好处？ 一下飞机就得进监狱 饶他一命吧
What we gonna gain? We'd be in jail soon as we get off the plane.Let that man live.
嘿 基德！
Hey, Kid! Kid!
终于见到你们了 我好开心
Good to see you after all this time.
你怎么样？你好啊 吉恩 - 我是吉恩 对！
How you doing? What's up, Gene? - It's Gene. Yeah!
我记得你
I remember you.
嘿！我很好
Hey! I'm good.
你开始巡演 我更好了 - 不错
Now that you're on tour, I'm great. - Nice.
恭喜你出演的《反宇宙》 即将冲破十亿票房♥
Congrats on The Anti-verse almost hitting a billion.
我看了五次 - 谢谢
I've seen it like five times. - Thank you. Thank you.
这里是我们的总统套房♥
In here, we will find our presidential suite.
有两个卧室 这是主卧
There are two bedrooms. This is the master.
他们安排你住哪？ - 我就住这层 很近
Where they got you? - I'm in earshot down the hall.
我得接这个电♥话♥ 你没事吧？ - 没事