忙碌黛布拉三连

忙碌
黛布拉
三连
第三集
管道工程就像友谊
Plumbing is a lot like friendship --
再微小的破裂也能让所有污秽
even the slightest rupture will cause all this shit
浮出水面
to come to the surface.
黛布拉 我是黛布拉
hey, Debra. It's Debra.
我们明天不能在我家吃早午餐了
We can't do brunch at my house tomorrow.
我家水管漏了
My pipes have sprung a little leak.
得征用你家
We'll need to use your house.
那可能有些困难
That might be a bit of an issue.
我们打给黛布拉 说早午餐打水漂了
Let's just call Debra, and tell her that brunch is a wash.
好啊 姑娘们 真期待明天的早午餐
What's up, gals. So excited for brunch tomorrow.
准备好迎接坏消息吧 因为早午餐取消了
Well, get ready to be miserable, because brunch is canceled.
我们家的水管爆了
Our pipes exploded.
我们都没地方睡觉了 更别说早午餐
We don't have a place to sleep, let alone do brunch.
别傻了 你们今晚就来我家
Don't be silly. You're coming over to my house tonight.
明早在我这吃早午餐
We'll do brunch here in the morning.
为什么要笑
Why are we laughing?
我只是从没想过你有房♥子
I just never thought of you as having a house.
现在想想 我从没想过你
Come to think of it, I've never thought of you at all.
无意冒犯 但我宁愿自杀
And respectfully, I would rather kill myself
也不愿去你家
than go to your house.
虽然很可笑 但你们别无选择
As funny is that all is, you have no other options.
晚点见
See you soon.
看起来快停了
Looks like it's clearing up.
我们都知道今晚会很糟糕
We both know that tonight is going to be awful.
我们只能硬撑了
We just have to get through it.
-进去出来 -快速简单
- In and out. - Quick and easy --
像汽车餐厅 或和我丈夫做♥爱♥一样
like a drive-thru, or sex with my husband.
睡衣派对
Sleepover!
欢迎来到你们此生剩余之夜的首晚
Welcome to the first day of the rest of your night.
潘趣酒
在黛布拉家 奢华等待着你
Here in casa del Deborah, luxury awaits.
我们是爱呢 还是爱呢
Do we love it, or do we love it?
知道吗 在我家这里有扇门
You know, in my house, there's a door here.
我会尽力让你看看你家平面图
I'll do my best to get you see your floor plan,
但我保证不了什么
but I'm not making any promises.
她把垃圾放在家里
She keeps garbage in the house.
为什么就不能和我们一样扔进镇上的蓄水池呢
Why doesn't she throw it in the town reservoir like the rest of us.
姑娘们 今晚我们的活动满满
Okay, ladies, we have a big night ahead of us.
睡衣派对安排表
首先 让我看看你们的睡衣吧
First things first, let me see those pjs.
睡衣 拜托成熟点
Pjs? Grow up.
爱了
Love it.
这是我的睡眠用头盔
This is my sleeping helmet.
能防止梦境逃脱
It stops the dreams from getting out.
反正今晚是没人能逃脱了
Well, no one's getting out tonight.
我们做面膜吧
Let's do face masks.
我最喜欢面膜的部分是
My favorite part of face masks
你在这15分钟内被困住了
is that you're kind of just stuck for 15 minutes,
而且你必须选择思考 或聊天
and you have to, like, think or talk.
-我选择思考 -我选择聊天
- I choose think. - And I choose talk.
我爱大蒜
I love garlic.
我其实从没摔断过一根骨头
I've actually never broken a bone in my body.
不过肌肉又是另一回事了
Muscles are another story.
这就是我初吻的故事
That's the story of my first kiss.
我真抱歉自己泪如雨下
I'm sorry I cried so much --
在讲故事和初吻时都是
during the story and the kiss.
我最好上♥床♥睡觉了
Well, I better be getting to sleep.
如果我不睡18个小时 我就会变成暴躁碧池
If I don't get 18 hours, I become a total bitch.
别担心 我在潘趣酒里掺了可♥卡♥因♥
Don't worry. I spiked the punch with cocaine.
今晚没人需要睡觉了
So, no one's going to bed tonight.
现在该问安全问题了
Now, it's time for security questions.
安全问题
你居住过的第一条街道叫什么名字
What's the name of the first street you lived?
我得去厕所
I have to go to the bathroom.
这街道的名字真有趣
That's a funny name for a street.
闺蜜谈心时间到
Initiating girl talk.
你初吻时多大 等等 让我猜猜
When was your first kiss? Wait wait. Let me guess.
不如你做个门童 把我的包拿楼上去
Why don't you be a bellhop, and go take my bags upstairs.
真好笑
That's so funny,
因为我的第二吻正巧在酒店旁边
because my second kiss was actually near a hotel.
请回话 黛布拉探员
Come in agent Debra.
马桶圈上有头发
A hair on the toilet?
难道没有任何圣洁的东西吗
Is nothing sacred?
你在这啊
There you are.
我的天
Oh, my god.
变装派对 我超爱的
Costume party! Obsessed!
我去把自己塞进毕业舞会裙里
I'm gonna go cram myself into my prom dress.
楼下见
I'll meet you downstairs.
-好多了 -黛布拉
- That's better. - Debra!
我都不知道还要变装
Oh, I didn't know we were doing costumes.
说正经的
Let's talk turkey.
这房♥子就是个猪窝 而且黛布拉不停地问我
This house is a pigsty, and Debra won't stop asking me
简单的问题 比如我从哪来 我喜欢什么
basic questions like where I'm from or what I like.
她问我是狗狗人格还是猫猫人格
She asked me if I'm a dog person or a cat person.
拜托大姐 我是个人
Like hello, I'm a human.
我不明白 她到底要干嘛
I don't get it. What is her endgame?
谁在乎
Who cares?
我宁愿睡在屎堆里 也不愿再待一秒
I would rather sleep in shit than spend one more second --
你们好啊
Hey, ladies.
在你这丑陋无比的家里
In your ugly, ugly home.
黛布拉
Debra.
我们刚才只是在你背后说你坏话
We were just talking about you behind your back.
我喜欢你对我家的改造
I love what you've done with my place.
因为你说过你家就是我家 所以
Well, you said your home was my home, so...
我把你家变成我家了
I made your home my home.
我确实说了 对吧
I did say that, didn't I?
你真是个良好的倾听者
You're a great listener.
不如你去楼上 穿上变装衣服吧
Why don't you go upstairs, and put on a costume?
我要给黛布拉涂脚趾甲油
Debra is gonna let me paint her toenails.
对吧 黛布拉
Right, Debra?
我们玩得开心吗
Are we having fun?
开心 黛布拉 开心
Yes, Debra. Yes.
天呐
oh, my god.
真不敢相信这些
I can't believe what's in here.
这里的东西改变了一切
What's in here changes everything.
天呐
Oh, my god.
谢天谢地 快进来
Oh, thank god. Come here.
这该多恐怖啊
How creepy is this?
黛布拉一直在跟踪我们
Debra's been stalking us.
天呐 这得好多年了
Oh, my god. This goes back years.
怎么 她是有打印机吗
What, does she have a printer?
神经病
Psycho.
玩天堂的七分钟吗
Seven minutes in heaven?
怎么没邀请我
I didn't get the invite.
在找这些吗
Looking for these?
外面很冷 黛布拉
It's chilly, Debra.
进屋吧
Come inside.
我们还没促膝长谈呢
We still haven't talked about our feelings.
你离我远点
You get away from me.
我见过空手道 我也不怕学
I've seen karate, and I'm not afraid to learn it.
向我敞开吧 黛布拉
Open up to me, Debra.
我喜欢拥抱
I'm a hugger.
黛布拉
Debra.
你和你妈妈关系好吗
Are you close with your mommy?
我和她关系可差了
I'm not!
你觉得自己想要孩子吗
Do you think you want children?
黛
布
拉
我在考虑领养
I'm considering adoption.
谢天谢地你回来救我了 虽然你刚才推我下楼
Thank god you came back for me -- after you pushed me down.