她来了（2018）

这是什么 是X
Right, what's that? It's a 'kss'.
看 一个大大的X
Look, a mega kss.
你们好
Hi, guys.
你好啊 克里斯 这是在干什么
Hi, Chris. What's this?
前列腺癌的义跑活动 我就是找点乐子
Oh, prostate cancer. Just a bit of fun.
-你们还得扮成圣诞老人啊 -很好笑是不是
- Hence the... - Yeah, it's a laugh, isn't it?
这种衣服很轻便也没什么束缚 所以
It's actually a, a light, non-restrictive design, so... Yeah.
抱歉 我不想掉队太多
Sorry, I don't wanna fall off the pace too much,
-你介不介意我先走一步 -不好意思 你走吧
- do you mind if I... - Oh, sorry, of course, yeah.
-罗茜 把路让开 -好的
- Out of the way, Rosie. - OK.
-祝你好运 回见 -谢谢
- Good luck. See you later. - Thanks.
加油 克里斯
Come on, Chris.
不是吧 你们是有多想营造出圣诞气氛啊
Oh, for fuck's sake, how Christmassy do you wanna make it?
拜托
Come on!
-他们真是疯了 -妈妈
- It was mental. - Mumma.
别闹罗茜 我不会过去看日历的
No, Rosie, I'm not gonna come and look at the calendar.
你自己看去
You, you do it by yourself.
小艾 他们一个队里至少有三个
They had at least three, Em,
三个圣诞老人和两个蝙蝠侠们
three... Father Christmases, and two Batmen.
蝙蝠侠们不对吧
Batmans?
他的名字就叫蝙蝠侠 所以应该是两个蝙蝠侠
His name's Batman, so it would be Batmans, not Batmen.
就像是 两个西蒙 而不是西蒙们
Like, it would be two Simons, not Simen.
你知道你有点强迫症吗
You know you're on the spectrum?
别闹了 罗茜 够了
No, Rosie, that's it.
我要把十二月藏进橱柜里
I am hiding December in a cupboard.
好了好了
Please, please.
你能学学时间概念吗
Will you learn the concept of time?
我们可以直接在下个礼拜过圣诞节
I mean, we could just have... Christmas next week.
可下礼拜不是圣诞节
But it's not Christmas.
我当然知道 但也许那样的话她就能消停会儿了
I know, but it might shut her up.
你确定
You reckon?
你不会想让我们告诉她每天都是圣诞节吧
You don't think we'll be teaching her that every day is Christmas?
从你嫁给我的那天起 你的每天都是圣诞节
Every day is Christmas when you're married to me, hon.
你是说我们都喝多了还吵了架
In that we drink too much and row
然后你睡在了前院的花♥园♥里吗
and you fall asleep in the front garden?
是有一年圣诞节发生过
That happened one Christmas.
我可不要活在威萨德乐队的歌♥里
I'm not living in a Wizzard song.
《愿每天都是圣诞节》是威萨德乐队的一首歌♥
圣诞节咱可以买♥♥本新日历了
I think for Christmas we get a new calendar.
总统日
President's Day?
总统日是什么
What's President's Day?
我也不知道 上面写着"美国"
I don't know. It says "US".
总统日
"总统日是联邦假日"
"President's Day is the federal holiday"
"此日定于每年二月的第三个星期一"
"which falls on the third Monday of February"
"是为了纪念乔治·华盛顿的生日"
"and celebrates the birth of George Washington,"
"他生于1731年2月22日"
"who was born on February 22nd, 1732."
我想我们可以庆祝庆祝这个节日
We could celebrate that, I suppose.
你想不想庆祝乔治·华盛顿的生日 做点特别的事
You want to do something special on George Washington's birthday?
不不不 那天不是他的生日
No, no, it's not his birthday,
因为纪念日是设置在每年的某个星期一 所以...
because it's set to be on a Monday each year, so...
知道了 百事通
All right, Richard Osman,
你不也是15秒以前才在维♥基♥百♥科♥上查到的吗
you literally found out about it 15 seconds ago on Wikipedia.
你想庆祝总统日吗
Want to celebrate President's Day?
好好好 那我们就庆祝一下好了
OK, OK, we can do that.
罗茜...
Rosie...
妈妈
Mumma.
那是指本
Who do you mean, Ben?
这是指爸爸
Daddy?
甘甘
Guh-guh.
天哪 你刚刚是在叫爸爸吗
Oh, my God, did you say, did you say Dadda?
罗茜 你能再叫一次爸爸吗
Rosie, can you say Dadda again?
罗茜 再叫一次爸爸
Rosie, say Dadda again.
甘甘 甘甘
Guh-guh! Guh-guh!
是说他啊...
Oh, him...
甘甘
Guh-guh!
-甘甘 -没错 是甘道夫
- Guh-guh. - Yes! Gandalf.
你知道 保罗·纽曼在谈到她妻子时说过
You know, Paul Newman's quote about his wife,
"既然家里有牛排了 为什么还要去外面吃汉堡"
"Why go out for burger when you can have steak at home?"
但你难道不觉得 有时候
But don't you just think, sometimes,
"我真♥他♥妈♥想去吃个汉堡"
"I really want a fucking burger,"
"里面夹着芝士 培根 洋葱圈还有..."
"with cheese, and bacon, and onion rings and..."
看在我们是朋友的份上
Oh, for the sake of our friendship,
你别告诉我
please don't tell be telling me
我就是你说的培根双层芝士汉堡
I'm the bacon double cheese Whopper here.
不是的 我只是不确定冰箱里的牛排好不好吃
No. I'm just not sure about that steak in the fridge.
我是说
I mean,
我得先闻一闻
I'd give it a smell first.
去你的 小艾是顶级和牛
Fuck off! Em is the finest wagyu beef,
有着上好的大理石纹路
with good marbling,
但是...
and...
-别停 -还有
- No... - Other...
别别别 继续说 姐妹
no, no, please do carry on, sister,
我太想知道你会把我比作什么牛肉了
cos I'm dying to know where this analogy is heading.
你就是那种适合炖着吃的牛肉
It's that you are Asda stewing steak,
得在酒里腌制24小时
that you have to marinade for 24 hours in wine,
不过你也已经天天泡在酒里了
which you kind of do.
我还是有魅力的好吗
I could get out there.
我有几招
I've got some moves.
-我也有特长的好吧 -什么事 文件归档吗
- I'm good at stuff. - Stuff? Like filing paperwork?
没错
Yeah.
你在床上的经历可能不愉快
You might not have a good time in bed,
但只要你给我开个发♥票♥ 我马上就会付你钱
but invoice me and I will pay you promptly.
回家吧
Go home.
回家找小艾
Go home to Em.
我认识你们俩很久了
I've known you both a very long time
你绝对找不到比她更加风趣可爱的人
and you will never find anyone as lovely and funny as her,
为了和你聊 她还补过《星际迷航》
who's prepared to talk to you about the Star Trek.
就是这样
That's it.
她不怎么和我说话
She doesn't really talk to me.
不再如此了
Not any more.
没错 罗茜 今天是总统日
Yes. Yes, Rosie, it's President's Day!
你妈妈回你电♥话♥了吗
Did your mum get back to you?
回了 他们今天下午可能要去购物
Yep. Yeah, they might do a bit of shopping this afternoon,
然后再过来这边 大约七点左右回去
then come back here and head back about seven.
我要做各种美式食物
I'm going to do all American food.
热狗 薯条 重油蔬菜
Hot dogs, chips, unhealthy vegetables.
不 罗茜 今天不是圣诞节 是总统日
No, no, Rosie, it's not Christmas Day, it's President's Day.
她会不会读成了...
You don't think she read it as...
罗茜
Rosie,
今天是"总统"日 你可以打开各种"总统"
is President's Day the day that you open all the presidents?
总统发音与礼物"present"相近
不 罗茜 今天不是"礼物"日
No, Rosie, it's not "presents" day.
不 我们今天不会再给你买♥♥摇铃玩具了
No, we're not getting you another Whoozit today.
所有款式你都有了 今天是总统日
You already have all of the Whoozits. It's President's Day.
好了 晚点见
All right, see you later.
-那是什么 -没什么
- What is it? - Nothing.
她为什么在看
Why, why is she looking at a,
31厘米的X战警超大黑色假阳♥具♥
a Belgo Prism 31cm Black X-Man monster dong?
真够拗口的
That's quite a mouthful.
是因为X这个字母 对吗
I mean, it's the X, isn't it?
她的人生目标就是找到世界上所有的X字母
It's her life's mission to find all the X's in the world.
谢天谢地 我取消了一键购买♥♥功能
Thank God I disabled one-click buy.
我们可以给她买♥♥礼物 今天是乔治·华盛顿的诞辰
We could buy her a present. It is George Washington's birthday.
-今天不是他诞辰 -我知道 我知道
- It's not his birthday. - I know, I know, I know.
我会给她买♥♥个礼物
I'll buy her one present.
小礼物 不是那个
Something small. Not that.
晚点见
See you later.
X
Kss!
-没错 X -X
- Yes, X! Kss! - Kss!
乖孩子
Good girl.
他会换尿布 会开窗透气 做饭