犯罪现场清理员（2021）

对了
Yeah.
明天我再给你带把猎枪来
Bring a shotgun when I come back tomorrow.
这里需要有一把武器
You need a weapon in this house.
武器
A weapon!
詹姆斯爵士人脉很广
Sir James is very well connected.
他似乎是个好人
He seems lovely.
我还是不敢相信血迹能够溅得这么远
I still can't believe the blood came this far, you know.
只是脖子断了有些说不通
Doesn't make sense from a neck break.
你当时站在哪
Where were you standing?
在楼梯中间
In the middle of the stairs.
那你身上怎么没有血
So why weren't you covered in it?
我...一定是凑巧没溅到吧
I... It must have missed me.
不 不 这样的飞溅形式意味着
No, no, the spatter pattern means...
意味着你当时应该是在...
It means that you would have been...
好了 我得继续了
Well, I must get on.
等下
Hang on.
你想让我清理的是什么
What was it you wanted me to clean?
什么
What?
在那个房♥间里 你想让我清理的是什么
In the other room. What was it you wanted me to clean?
这不重要
It wasn't important.
是一只铜猪
A brass pig.
一只铜猪
A brass pig?
铜猪个屁
A brass pig, my arse.
你要去哪
Where are you going?
你确实把它清理得很干净
You've done a pretty good job of getting it clean.
但如果想要检测不出来血迹
But to make blood undetectable,
你得用专业的清洁剂
you need a specialist fluid.
我去泡壶茶
I'll make a pot of tea.
所以他不是摔死的
So he didn't die in the fall?
一开始我以为他已经死了
Well, I thought he had at first.
他在落地时确实摔得不轻
He really did land badly.
听起来就像...
The sound was like a...
是 是 粗壮的橡树 巧克力条 之后呢
Yeah, yeah, mighty oak, Crunchie. So?
之后 我捡起他在摔下来时扯下的一个球杆
Well, I picked up one of the clubs he pulled down in the fall.
我想准备好武器 以防他过来找我
I wanted to be armed in case he came for me.
当他断掉的脖子重新连上以后吗
For when his broken neck had healed?
我原来想去叫警♥察♥的
I was going to call the police,
我真的想 但是
I really was, but then I...
但是我又看见了
..Then I saw it again.
他怎么能这样
How could he?!
所有这些遗产都被毁了 为了什么
All of this heritage destroyed, and for what?
什么
What?
不会又是那该死的椅子
Not the damn chair again?!
几乎不记得我拿起球杆
Barely remember picking up the club.
鉴于那种情况 还真是优美的一挥
It was a beautiful swing, under the circumstances.
我一直在上课
I've been taking lessons.
一个利索的挥杆
One clean stroke...
这就完成了
..And it was done.
-你杀了他 -其他人也会干同样的事
- You killed him? - Well, anyone would have done the same.
我不会
I wouldn't!
反正木已成舟
Well, what's done is done.
我必须走了
I must get on.
等等 我不能就这么算了
Wait! I can't let this go.
我需要汇报情况 你杀了他
I have to report it. You murdered him!
谁又会相信一个清洁工呢
And who will believe the cleaner?
我知道你不尊重职业教育
I knew you didn't respect the training.
我有很多人可以为我的人品担♥保♥
Oh, I have plenty of people to vouch for my character.
如果说这都是你幻想的 大家也不会觉得奇怪
It's not inconceivable that you dreamt the whole thing up.
一个受人尊敬的社区成员
An admired member of the community
被一个业务不行的工人敲诈
blackmailed by an unskilled labourer.
业务不行
Unskilled?
我洗干净了你的灯
I cleaned your lamp!
他就是个罪犯
He was a common criminal.
谁会想他
Who will miss him?
你怎么知道他的生活发生了什么
How do you know what was going on in his life?
-他可能有个生病的孩子 -收起你的好话吧
- He might have a sick child. - Oh, put your violin away!
以眼还眼 圣经里写着
An eye for an eye - it's in the Bible.
是啊 不可盗窃
Oh, yeah. Thou shalt not steal,
不然你就会被
or you'll get smacked
高尔夫球杆敲后脑勺
round the back of the head with a golf club.
你想要多少
How much do you want?
你根本没在听
You're not listening.
你可以接受教育 找到一份更好的工作
You could get an education, you could get a better job,
让你的生活有点价值
really make something of your life.
我的工作意味着我可以买♥♥我需要的一切
My job means that I can buy everything I need
而且还有多余的钱
and still have enough money
让自己每周末都能宿醉
to give myself a hangover every weekend.
你不能用钱摆平这件事
You cannot buy your way out of this.
那辆车对我真的没什么用
I really don't have much use for that car.
-什么 阿斯顿 -对
- What, the Aston? - Yes.
我只在去商店的时候用它
I only use it for popping down to the shops.
这是你今天说过的最糟糕的话
I mean, that's the worst thing you've said today.
那可是阿斯顿马丁
It's an Aston Martin.
没错
Exactly.
太浪费了
Such a waste.
我懂了
I see.
你别想了
Well, you can forget it.
我甚至付不起保险
I couldn't even afford to insure the damn thing.
我会为你买♥♥保险的
Oh, I shall insure it for you.
就当是我的预付款
Let's call it my advance payment
感谢你帮我的生活恢复原样 怎么样
for you making things right for me. Hm?
我必须走了
Now, I must get on.
我一会还要去教堂
I have church later.
霍齐尔女士
Miss Hozier...
拜托了 维基
Please, Wicky.
拜托
Please?
上帝 它真美
God, it's beautiful.
-维诌 你想要什么 -是我
- Weasel, what do you want? - It was me.
-什么 -是我吐在了你的鞋子里
- What? - I sicked in your shoes.
我就知道是你
I knew it was you.
没错
Oh, right.
只是 珍说你可能会以为是胖卡尔
It's just, Jen said you might have thought it was Fat Carl
在一开始 我很开心
and, at first, I was happy,
因为你会生他的气 而不是我
because you'd be cross with him instead of me,
但我又想 如果你最后揍了他
but then I thought, if you end up punching him,
-我会感觉不好 -这没事
- I'll feel bad. - It's OK.
我会清理它们 如果你把它们留在酒吧
I'll clean them if you leave them in the pub.
不 听好了 维诌 我很感谢你的来电
No, listen, Weasel. I appreciate you calling.
你做了正确的事 这很好
It's good that you did the right thing.
等等 这不是我的错 我有个不好的...
Hang on, it wasn't my fault. I'd had a bad...
该死的
Dammit.
老天 什么情况
Jesus! What the hell?
我和你说了什么
Ah, what did I tell you?
他们已经有了24小时
24 hours they've had,
我还能从侧窗破门而入
and I was able to break back in from the side window!
那是个撬棍吗
Is that a crowbar?
是的 一根普通的撬棍 我就进来了
Yes, an everyday crowbar, and I'm back in!
你们这帮人是是黑社会的同伙
You people are in league with the underworld!
我会抢走你所有的工作
I'll have all your jobs.
没错 你才是那个犯法的人
Right. Well, you're the one who's broken the law.
行 我们看看总督察怎么说
Oh, well, we'll see what the Chief Inspector says about that.
这叫做公民义务
It's called civic duty.
看在上帝的份上 出去
For God's sake! Get out!
-我不能 -什么
- I can't. - What?
我的裤子挂住了
I have my trouser caught.
它们是转基因牛 就像生菜一样长大
They're genetically modifying beef to grow like lettuce,
你知道吗
you know.
没有牧场了
No more farms...
只有没有四肢的牛在架子上
..Just limbless cows on shelves.
安静点
Be quiet.