犯罪现场清理员（2021）

犯罪现场清理员
第一季 第四集
贵族
他来了...拖把先生
Oh, here he comes - Mr Mop.
我不用拖把 你很清楚的
I don't use a mop, as well you know.
是什么情况啊
What are we looking at?
我见过的最无聊的案子
The most boring bloodbath I've ever seen.
老贵妇人惊扰了入室窃贼
Posh old lady disturbs burglar.
他摔下楼梯死了 结案了
He falls down the stairs and dies. Case closed.
都没有挑战到警员的专业能力
Didn't stretch the DC's expertise.
不过 可怜的老人家啊
Poor old girl, though.
要是我就不会为她掉什么眼泪
Oh, I wouldn't shed too many tears for her.
-她可烦人了 -托尼
- She's a pain in the arse. - Tony!
-我怎么和你说的 -对不起
- What have I told you? - Sorry.
他说得对 她可烦人了
He's right. She's a pain in the arse.
把她珍贵的地板清理干净
Get her precious floorboards clean,
下次我争取给你搞个更带劲的案子
and I'll aim to bring you something more juicy next time.
嗯 不过不要窗帘上带血的
Yeah, just no blood on curtains.
你有杀人的冲动... 没问题
You've got a compulsion to kill - fine.
在浴缸里杀好了
Do it in the bath!
周六你怎么没去维拉啊
How come you weren't at Villa on Saturday?
有人吐到我鞋里了
Someone was sick in my shoes.
-维诌吗 -当然是维诌了
- Weasel? - Of course Weasel.
你为什么老是和他混在一起
Why do you keep hanging out with him?
我没有和他混在一起
I don't hang out with him.
从小学我就一直让他不要跟着我
I've been asking him to stop following me since primary school.
花了好长时间才把鞋清理干净
Took me ages to get 'em clean.
可怜的拖把先生... 没完没了地清理
Poor Mr Mop - always cleaning.
不过我不用拖把 对吧 露丝
I don't use a mop, though, do I, Ruth?
要叫爱德华兹警长 如果你不介意的话
Oh, that's Sergeant Edwards, if you don't mind.
谁啊
Hello?
你好 是劳森的维基
Hello, it's Wicky from Lausen.
-谁 -劳森 清理公♥司♥
- Who? - Lausen, the cleaning company.
是警♥察♥派我们过来的
The police sent us.
你不是和我通过话的迷人老绅士啊
Well, you're not the charming elderly gentleman I spoke to.
对 那是老板 他派我来的
No, that's the boss. He sent me.
不过 说起迷人 我...
Although, when it comes to charm, I...
那你是哪位
And you are?
维基
Wicky.
你的出生证明上是这么写的 对吗
And that's on your birth certificate, is it?
对不起 是保罗·维克斯泰特 维基是小名
Sorry, Paul Wickstead. It's Wicky for short.
请出示身份证
ID, please.
劳森公♥司♥
往后站
Step back!
不是广角镜头
It's not a wide-angled lens, man!
天啊 对不起 老奶奶
Jesus. Sorry, Nana.
你刚叫我老奶奶吗
Did you call me Nana?
-没有 -你叫了
- No. - You did.
你叫我老奶奶
You called me Nana.
也许你想认识一下索特伦
Perhaps you'd like to meet Saltren.
杀了他 索特伦
Kill him, Saltren!
-咬死他 -我的天
- Bite to kill! - Jesus!
不用放狗来咬我 我只是...
There's no need to set a bloody dog on me. I'm only...
-我没有狗 -没有吗
- I don't have a dog. - You don't?
听着 我很抱歉叫你老奶奶
Listen, I'm sorry about the Nana thing.
请脱掉靴子
Boots off, please!
我带鞋套了
Oh, I've got covers.
总算展现点专业性了
Professionalism at last.
那个花瓶 你觉得它值多少钱
That vase - how much do you think it's worth?
200块
200 quid.
在拍卖♥♥会上的估值是两万镑
It was valued at auction at ￡20,000.
我的老天爷 把它放门厅干什么
Jesus Christ! What's it doing in the hall?
问得好
Exactly.
这房♥子可不是你挥舞胳膊乱动的地方
This is not a house where you may flail your arms around.
在这里 你的行动必须稳妥且深思熟虑
In here, your movement must be poised, thoughtful.
你必须是只苍鹭
You must be a heron.
你必须是什么
What must you be?
苍鹭
A heron?
苍鹭
A heron.
人死在哪儿了
So where did it happen?
我开玩笑呢 我能看出是在这里
I'm kidding. I can see it happened there.
对不起 可怕吗
Sorry. Was it awful?
一定很可怕
It must have been awful.
让人崩溃
Devastating.
绝对让人崩溃
Absolutely devastating.
那个... 那个脚印是我的猫弄的
Oh, the...the footprints are from my cat.
它被惩戒了
She has been disciplined.
主要是表面的血渍
Primarily surface-level staining.
橡木原木地板
Original oak floorboards.
孔会比别的一些多一些
I mean, they're more porous than some,
但不算太糟
but not a disaster.
完全恢复 这是第六类
Yeah, full restoration. OK, this is a category six.
第六类
A category six?
表面的污渍
Surface-level staining.
你这不算事 相信我
You got off very lightly, believe me.
昨天是校长办公室的大锤致死案
Yesterday was a lump hammer killing in a head teacher's office.
我几乎把那地方给点了
I practically had to torch the gaff.
这里算好的
No, this is fine.
你不用担心
Don't you worry.
等到今天晚上 有个人在你家
By the end of the day, it will be a distant memory
失血而死就会成为一个遥远的记忆了
that a man bled to death here, in your home.
开工了
To business.
对不起
I'm sorry.
对不起 一定很可怕
I'm sorry, it must have been awful.
我幸存下来真是奇迹
It's a miracle that I survived.
开始 我以为吵醒我的声音一定是猫弄的
At first, I thought the noise that woke me must be the cat.
它一累脚步声就很重
God knows, she's a heavy-footed madam when she's tired.
等我去查看...
When I came to check...
他就在那
..There he was.
他一定以为我...
He must have thought that I was...
我出门了 因为他看着受了惊
..I was out, because he looked shocked.
此时他拿出了把刀...这么大
And that's when he took out a knife...this big!
好家伙
Yikes.
他使劲把我推到个椅子上
He pushed me into the chair with such a force,
劲儿大得让我现在还觉得是在滑雪
I still feel like I've been skiing!
天啊 滑雪
God, skiing? Shit.
然后 他让我告诉他珠宝保险箱在哪
And then he demanded to know where the jewel safe was,
这个我是绝不会说的
and I was not going to reveal that.
这太傻了
Hey! Now, that is silly.
不值得为珠宝送命...
Jewellery's not worth dying for...
除非是非常珍贵的珠宝
..Unless it's really nice jewellery.
你的一定是非常珍贵的珠宝 对吧
Yours is really nice jewellery, isn't it?
正因如此我假装晕倒了
And that is exactly why I feigned passing out.
聪明的丫头
Clever girl.
对不起 是女士
Sorry. Lady.
聪明的人 接着说
Person. Go on.
我一直用一只眼观察着他
Well, I continued to monitor him through one eye.
经典的半睁半闭窥视啊
Classic half-peep.
听着你假扮了个盲人啊
Sounds like you played a blinder.
其实是偷♥窥♥者
Well, a peeper.
无所谓了 窥视的盲人 接着说
Doesn't matter. Peepy blinders. Go on.
我偷偷地观察着他
Well, I stealthily observed him
把赃物从窗户放下去
lowering swag through the window,
然后他...我简直难以启齿
and he... Oh, I can barely bring myself to say it.
他...太可怕了
He was... Oh, it was monstrous!
太可怕了
It was awful!
天啊 怎么了
Oh, God, what?
他站到了沙发上
He stood on the sofa!
这个无赖
The cad!
我跳了起来
I leapt to my feet.
"你" 我说道
"You!" I said.
"你可以闯进我家 洗劫我的财产
"You may break into my home and rob my possessions,