舞跃（2021）

What, you mean if I, like, killed you and ate you?
对 烤雷吉
Yeah, roasted Reggie.
你有多重 220磅 223磅
What do you go, 220? 223?
221磅 你很厉害
221. That's pretty good.
我要减去你身上的器官
I'm gonna minus out the organs for you.
行
Sure.
你有96500卡
You are 96,500 calories
慧俪轻体上2135分
and 2,135 points on Weight Watchers.
太疯狂了 你疯了
Wow, that is crazy. You're insane.
我小时候就学跳舞 越瘦越好
I was a dancer growing up. Small's better.
那是你的问题
This is your issue.
这是房♥子里边传出来的电♥话♥铃
That call's coming from inside of the house.
好吧
Oh, okay.
你发推说米歇尔·奥巴马是个肥婆
The guy who tweeted about Michelle Obama's big ass
还好意思说这是我们臆想
says it's all in our heads?
-天呐 我是在夸她 -这样如何
- God, that was a compliment. - How about this?
今后别再对任何人的身体做任何评价
Just don't say anything about anybody's body ever.
-就这样 -这样如何
- Period. - How about this?
我们都是肉身凡人
We are physical creatures,
而且性吸引非常美妙 就这样
and attraction is a wonderful thing, period.
老兄 放松点
Man, just lighten up.
为什么问题的答案总是让女性放松点
Why is the answer always for women to just lighten up?
霸凌 骚扰 "宝贝 放轻松"
Bullying, harassment. "Babe, just lighten up."
我们怎么说到强♥奸♥了 气氛毁灭者 妈的
Oh, how did we get to rape, mood killer? Damn!
从对我们的身材评头论足到想拥有
It is a slippery slope from commenting on our bodies
只有一线之隔
to wanting to own them.
这就是性别恐袭
It's gender terrorism.
你真的这么认为吗
You really believe that?
有时吧
Sometimes.
好吧 其他时候 我只想看上去漂亮
Okay, and then other times, I just want to look pretty.
你很漂亮
You are pretty.
我们得离开这里
We got to get out of here.
明天还要在选拔赛上大放异彩
Got to crush that audition tomorrow.
那是雷吉·萨德勒
That's Reggie Sadler.
我多谢你去年被停赛了
Thanks for getting mowed over last year.
你浪费了我两千块 醉毛狗
You cost me two grand, drunk hair bag.
我们走 谁在乎
Let's go. Who cares?
队里没你反而更好
Team's better off without you, man.
快点 我们走
Come on. Let's go.
对 没错
Yeah, that's right.
听你的肥婆女友的话
Listen to your fat-ass girlfriend!
雷吉
Yo! Reggie!
-别这样 放松 -雷吉
- Come on, chill! - Reggie!
再说一遍
Say it again!
对 你选对日子了 兄弟
Yeah, you got the right one today, bro.
雷吉
Reggie!
需要帮忙吗
Hi, can I help you?
我得知道我丈夫看多少黄♥片♥
I need to know how much porn my husband is looking at,
但他总是清除历史记录
but he clears his history constantly.
你能帮我吗
Can you help me?
当然 请进
Of course. Right this way.
-好 -不不不
- Okay. - No, no, no, no, no, no. No.
进行系统恢复 斯考特
Do a system restore, Scout.
我上周也帮一位女士查了
I had to do it for a lady last week.
-你经常干这个吗 -你绝对想不到
- You do this a lot? - Oh, you have no idea.
查到了 查到了
I got it. I got it. I got it.
好吧 这家伙每天看十次
Okay, so this guy's hitting it ten times a day.
仿佛看黄♥片♥就是他的工作
This dude was looking at porn like it's his job.
业余熟♥女♥ 郊区酥胸
Amateur Slamature, Suburbanjugs,
美国翘臀 温润小♥穴♥
American Butts Only, Tightpitts.
看起来他还总看网络直播
Looks like he's on a webcam site a lot.
等等 网络直播 就是实时的女孩吗
Wait, webcam, that's with a live girl?
如果家里就有可以做♥爱♥的人
Why do you look at porn when you have someone
为什么还要看黄♥片♥
at home to have sex with?
更简单 更快捷 更多样
Easier, faster, more variety.
这不是出轨 而是释放
It's not cheating. It's just release.
-不不 老兄 -太恶心了
- No, no, no, man. - That's disgusting.
我觉得在感情中
I think anything sexual
任何对方无关的性事都是出轨
outside of a relationship is definitely cheating.
再说 黄♥片♥侮辱女性
And besides, porn is degrading to women.
天呐 你太上纲上线了
Oh, my God. You are so uptight.
大家都看黄♥片♥
Everybody looks at porn.
-不 -不不不
- No-- - No. No, no, no.
你不能把感情和性分开 老兄
You cannot separate your heart from your genitals, man.
-好吧 你不... -我猜猜
- Okay, you're not-- - Let me guess.
他说自己工作很忙
He tells you that he's been working a lot.
他确实在工作
Oh, he's been working, all right.
他在那整天玩鸡♥巴♥手冲
He's been working his damn ding-dong.
但他也没有女友
It's not like he has a girlfriend.
不 这更糟糕
No, this is so much worse.
他可以随时随地找他想要的女孩
He can have whatever he wants whenever he wants.
网络就是他的女友
The Internet is his girlfriend!
我该怎么办
What am I supposed to do, huh?
我觉得你应该随心所欲
I think you should do whatever you want.
对 你说得对
Yeah, you're right.
完全正确 我可以随心所欲
You are exactly right. I can do whatever I want.
谢谢这个令人沮丧的讨论会
Thank you for the depressing focus group.
我有个选拔赛
I have an audition.
祝你一路好运
Good luck on your journey.
谢谢
Thank you!
你不是今天要选拔吗
Don't you have your thing today?
没有了 宝贝 昨晚功亏一篑了
I don't think so, buddy. Kind of fell apart last night.
看看谁来了
Look who's here!
-你好 -嗨
- Hello. - Hi.
跟我一起去吧 精神支持
Come with me? Moral support.
再说 也许所有女舞者都被熊吃了
Plus, maybe all the women will be eaten by bears.
萨姆 我们该去给贾斯汀加油吗
Sam, should we go cheer for Justin?
去吗
Yeah?
好 那我们就去
Okay, I guess we'll go.
拜托 迈克
Come on, Mike.
开门 我能看见你
Open up. I see you.
佩姬跟我说了事情经过
Paige told me what happened.
你就要错过选拔了
You're gonna miss your audition.
-我不选拔了 -为什么
- I'm not doing that. - Why not?
因为这很蠢 她在镜头前告诉我的
'Cause it's stupid and she told me off on camera.
说我可悲 说我推开了她
Said I was miserable and that I pushed her away.
她说的对吗
Is any of that true?
最近几年确实很难
It's been a hard few years.
我很迷茫 老兄
I'm lost, man.
我觉得很多人都有这种感觉
I think a lot of people feel like that.
世事艰难 但我告诉你
It's a hard time to be alive, but I'll tell you what,
我都不知道你跳舞这么好
I did not know that you could dance like that.
为什么不去上节目呢 成为其中的一份子
Why not do the show? Be a part of something.
看看会发生什么
See what happens.
我只想让她回来
I just want her back.
有没有可能你不想让佩姬回来
Is it possible that you don't want Paige back?
有没有可能你想要自己回来
Is it possible that you want you back?
你真是救命恩人 怎么还不开始
Oh, you're a lifesaver. What prevents us?
最后一对舞者现在开始
Final couple dance starts now.
进声音
Roll sound, please.
抱歉 抱歉抱歉 我迟到了
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry I'm late.
很奇怪 我好喜欢蜘蛛侠和咪表妹
I'm weirdly invested in Spider-Man and the meter maid.
她太迷人了
She's just glowing.
我在做这个动作了 艾伦 你换个别的
I'm doing this, Alan. You do something else.
最后倒计时五秒
Final cuts in five.
准备好落星星 进灯光 谢谢
Ready the star drop. Cue the lights, please.
天呐
Oh, my God.
-我真为你骄傲 -谢谢
- I'm so proud of you. - Thank you.
我的橄榄球球员呢
Hey, where's my football player?
他来不了
He couldn't do it.
我只是来这支持贾斯汀 抱歉