超级科学伙伴（2015）

那麽 爱因斯坦 愿意说说问题了吗？
So Albert. Do you feel like discussing your problem?
干嘛啦？有甚麽问题嘛？！
Why? What problem? ！
你才是个问题！谁说有问题的？
You're my problem! Who said anything about a problem?
丘吉尔跟我讲 你好像是...
Churchill tells me you've been ...
尿床了
wetting the bed.
才没有啦
No I haven't!
他是在骗人
He's lying.
你们这些大骗纸！
You're all liars!
喔 爱因斯坦 你可别给我来这套拒绝小火车
Oh Einstein, please don't get on the denial train.
只要你踏上这贼车 沿途只会是忧鬱症交叉点
Once you're on it the only stops are Depression Junction,
自我憎恨车站
Self-Loathing Station,
还有东方自杀车道
and East Suicide Lane.
“啊... 精神备受煎熬呦...”
"Ahhhh ... my psyche..."
我真不明白 我可是个天！才！
I don't get it. I'm a genius!
天才不可能是尿床的小孩啊！
Geniuses can't be bed-wetters.
我是说 你看过我的测试分数了吗？
I mean have you seen my test scores?
看过我的理论定理了吗？
Have you read my theorems?
嗯 天才都是些罕见的奇葩 这倒是真的
Hmm, it is true that geniuses are very rarely abnormal...
你怎麽可以这样？！
How could you?!
你怎麽可以这样对我的小鸽砸？！
How could you do that to Pigeon?!
这是物竞天择啊！我可是很温柔的！
It was natural selection! I was gentle!
我说甚麽来著？
What was I saying?
啊 无所谓了
Ah, it doesn't matter.
让我们来瞧瞧是否能通过你的心...
Let's see if we can get to the heart...
来解释你这种噁心的情况
of your disgusting condition.
跟我说说 你有没有做过些不可描述的梦？
Tell me, are you experiencing any strange dreams?
做梦？ 没有 没有 才没有呢
Dreams? No! No. Nope.
我一点都不想说这个！
I don't want to talk about it!
也随便了 我再也不想对牛弹琴了
Just as well. I don't put much stock into that nonsense anymore.
可我注意到你没有提到想和你母亲〇〇...
But I have noticed you haven't mentioned wanting to have sex with your mother...
真是非常少见呐...
Most unusual...
好了 就到这了
Alright we're done.
可我们还没讲〇起呢！
But we haven't even talked about your erections yet!
傻瓜弗洛伊德 真是不知道天高地厚
Stupid Freud. He doesn't know what he's talking about.
他甚至连个科学家都算不上
He's not even a real scientist anyway.
好了
Okay.
绝不能
Don't.
尿
Wet.
床
The bed.
我是个天才 我是个天才
You're a genius. You're a genius.
我是个天... Zzzzz...
You're a geniu... Zzzzz...
不————！
Noooooooo!
卡尔·荣格
Carl Jung.
你怎麽能是我以前的学生呢？
How have you been my old pupil?
还继续你所谓“精神病学”的业务呢？
Still have your "psychiatry" practice?
掌相术的生意最近如何啊？
How is the palm reading business these days?
啊 弗洛伊德 你还是跟以前一样聪明啊
Ah, Sigmund. Still as clever as you ever were.
但顺别说一嘴...
And by that I mean ...
...一样不是很聪明
... not very.
别给我摆臭架子 荣格！
Drop the act Jung!
你为甚麽想见我？
Why did you want to meet me?
你最近到底在计划些甚麽阴谋？
What kind of scheme are you planning this time?
我可没有 你这自恋的痴迷于〇〇的老变♥态♥
I've got no scheme you sex-obsessed, narcissistic old pervert.
我只是想 我大概能帮上你现在那位遇到麻烦了的病人的忙
I just think I might be able to help you with that patient you're currently having trouble with.
除非你要把他们当做纸巾一样用个不停
Unless of course you like going through bed sheets as if they were tissues.
还是在感冒流感季！
In cold and flu season!
啊哈哈哈哈！
Ah ha ha ha ha!
你怎麽会知道这件事？
How did you even hear about that?
我有的是人
I have my sources.
真的？
Quite.
真的
Indeed.
那麽我很抱歉告诉你 你是在浪费时间
Well, I'm sad to say you've wasted your time.
我才不相信你那泔水般的理论
I don't believe in yourbrand of hogwash,
即使我信 当地球上的神经病学家只剩下你 我也不会找你帮忙
and even if I did I wouldn't come to you for help if you were the last psychiatrist on Earth.
那可真是糟糕啊
That's too bad.
我想只能把这台新的高实验性侵略型设备
I suppose I'll just have to take my new highly-experimental invasive device
给那些不会告诉病人，也不会徵得病人同意就做实验的人了
to someone who might want to experiment on his patient without their knowledge or consent.
你接著说...
Go on...
隆重介绍梦境侵入者2000！
Introducing the Dream Intruder 2000!
请瞧
Observe.
早上好 多好的一天啊
Hello. A nice day.
做个人真好
it's great being a people.
早安 小姐人 我能嗅嗅妳的屁屁吗？
Hello lady people. May I smell your butts?
当然 请便
Yes. Smell my butts.
做个人真好
It's great being a people.
嚯嚯！弯的吧！
Ho ho! Wunderbar!
有了这个小装备 我就能看到爱因斯坦的梦
With this device I'll be able to see into Einstein's dream
然后找出甚麽导致他尿床了
and figure out what's causing him to pee the bed.
梦境侵入者可不仅仅是设计用来看人的梦境的
The Dream Intruder 2000 wasn't designed to merely view someone's dream,
还有真真正正的进入他们的梦！
but to actually enter their dream!
需要点东西... 才能行
And it would work ... if ... if only.
需要甚麽？
If only what?
这个嘛 只要有更多的处理能力
Well, if only it had more processing power.
但是要是那样我需要... 那个...
But for that I'd need some sort of ... I don't know ...
...超级计算机
... super computer.
那好办 有Z3啊...
Well, there is Z3...
对 没错！ 弗洛伊德 这真是个好主意
Oh that's right! Sigmund what a great idea.
我们可以用Z3！
We could use the Z3!
弗洛伊德你真聪明 人缘又好
Freud you are so smart. And well connected.
其实 我也经常觉得自己人缘好
Well, I have always considered myself very resourceful.
没错 弗洛伊德 非常非常好
That's right Sigmund. So very, very resourceful.
啊哈哈哈哈哈哈！
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
嘿嘿嘿！他觉得自己是个人
Hee hee hee! He thinks he's people.
之后我告诉他得了癌症 马上就要死了
And so I told him he had cancer and he was going to die.
妳可说这是个笑话！
You said this was a funny story!
哈哈哈哈 癌症...
Ha ha ha ha. Cancer...
那麽 我玩的很嗨也很累
Well, I'm pickled good and proper.
我上♥床♥去了
I'm off to bed.
要是你们哪一位可人的女士...
Unless one of you lovely ladies ...
没有
No.
唷 约克郡个小布丁
Ah Yorkshire pudding.
弗洛伊德 你干甚麽呢？
Freud, what are you doing?
那是谁？怎麽肥四？！
Who's that? What's going on?!
嘘 嘘 嘘 嘘 嘘嘘嘘
Shh shh shh shh shhhhh.
有了Z3给梦境入侵者2000供能
With Z3 powering the Dream Intruder 2000,
任何人的梦境都将会是你自♥由♥驰骋的天堂
the dreams of anyone in the base will be your proverbial playground.
我只要把这个小物件戴在你的头上 睡著后就能连接了
I'll just put this doodad on your head and once you're asleep you'll be connected.
Hmm 我还不是很睏
Hmm, I'm not actually that sleepy.
机器当然也考虑到了 它可是很科学的
The machine will take care of that too. It's all very scientific.
Hmm 每个门一定是引领到不同的梦境
Hmm, each door must lead to a different dream.
但是哪个是爱因斯坦的呢？
But which one leads to Einstein's dream?
嘛... 我经常说“要找青少年就顺著糟糕音乐”
Well, I always say "When looking for a teenager just follow the terrible music".
我会带著你在水上散上长长的步...
And I would take you on long walks on the water ...
非常浪漫的单身汉2号♥ 各位记住这是单身汉2号♥！
Very romantic Bachelor #2. Bachelor #2 everyone!
我们第三位单身汉刚刚加入我们
And our third bachelor has just joined us.
这位单身汉在家及工作中都在内心呐喊〇〇
This contestant has whoopy on his mind at home and on the job.
再没有人比他还要少♥儿♥不♥宜♥了
There's no such thing as not-safe-for-work as far as he's concerned.
让我们有请单身汉3号♥
Please welcome Bachelor #3!
好了 单身女士 轮到您瞭解我们帅气的单身汉了
All right Bachelorette. Time to get to know our handsome contestants.
单身汉1号♥ 你最完美的地方是甚麽？
Bachelor #1. What would you say is your best feature?
啊 我... 我的大棒棒？
Um, me ... me big club?
吼吼！那是我喜欢听的！
Ho ho! That's what I like to hear!
哈恰恰！
Ha cha cha!
塔普提？
Tapputi?
等等 你是其中之一？
Wait. You're one of the contestants?
这下好了 高♥潮♥没了
Well there goes my lady boner.
阶段7完成
Phase 7 complete.
恭喜丘吉尔首相！
Congratulations Prime Minister Churchill!
你成功了！
You've done it!