舞台剧

第二集
没安好心
-你知道我昨天做了些什么吗 -不知道
- Do you know what I did yesterday? - I do not.
我走到我家旁边的田地中间
I walked out into the middle of the field next to us
然后开始尖叫
and I screamed.
为什么要这么做
Why?
我想看看有没有人会听到
I wanted to see if anyone heard.
-有人听到了吗 -这个嘛
- Did they? - Well...
-反正没人来帮我 -是哦
- no-one came to my aid. - Right.
你们那儿的人经常尖叫吗
Do they scream a lot down there?
嗯 尖叫是我们这儿的问好方式
We do. Well, it's how we say hello.
我过得还行 多谢关心 你怎么样
Not bad, thanks, how are you?
-你们苏格兰人也经常尖叫吗 -那是当然
- Do you do a lot of screaming in Scotland? - Of course.
这是我们召唤羊杂碎布丁的方式[苏格兰国菜]That's how we summon the haggis.
当代苏格兰还有人这么做吗
Is that still happening in contemporary Scotland?
有的 这事就像个仪式一样
Yeah. Yeah. It's like a rite of passage.
你得去一块荒地上
You go on a blasted heath
接着把衣服脱到只剩下格子纹内♥裤♥ 然后就
and you strip down to your tartan undercrackers and you...
这件事还是挺开放的
It's a very open, very open thing.
声音还挺浑厚
A meaty timbre.
你这样更像
That's more...
你这种叫法更像人猿泰山
I'm hearing Tarzan with you. That's more Tarzan.
除非你召唤方法♥正♥确 否则羊杂碎布丁不会来的
You know, the haggis doesn't come unless you get it right.
为此我们得训练很多年
We train for this for years.
如果羊杂碎布丁不出现 没人会开心
Listen, if the haggis doesn't come, no-one's going to be happy.
没错 就是这样
No, exactly.
这就是苏格兰当地的旅游活动
That's the Scottish tourism campaign right there.
尼古拉·斯特金就经常被人看到站在一个小山丘顶上[苏格兰首席部长]Nicola Sturgeon can often be seen on the top of a hillock.
让羊杂碎布丁出现[高♥潮♥]Making a haggis come.
有帮助吗
Did it help?
-尖叫几下 -有点吧
- The screaming? - A bit.
-我都没试过 -那你不如现在试试
- I don't think I've ever tried it. - Now's the time.
你们能听到吗
Can you hear that?
是谁的手♥机♥在响
Whose phone is that?
不是我的
It's not me.
也不是我的
Mine neither.
我们能开始了吗
Could we start?
你们俩都听见那声音了吗
Did you both hear that too?
或许我们应该开始了
Maybe we should start.
行
Yeah.
好
Fine.
好吧 欢迎二位来排练
Well...welcome to rehearsals.
我知道这样的第一天有些不同寻常
I know that this is an unusual first day.
我没有平时会用的那些零碎小东西
I don't have any of the usual bits and bobs.
我没有创意团队可以给你们介绍
There's no creative team to introduce you to,
我也没有模型盒来给你们展示
and I don't have a model box to show you,
但你们手头有剧本 对吧
but you've got the scripts, yeah?
嗯
Yep.
我也有剧本 所以
And I've got one of these, so...
我觉得我们可以一幕幕读过去
I thought maybe we could just read the scene through,
先读第一幕 然后
first scene, and then...
问一些问题 然后从问题开始探讨
ask some questions, take it from there.
我没问题
Yeah, fine by me.
因为咱们互相之间还不太了解 所以我想
I thought because we obviously don't know each other very well,
或许我们可以先玩点有意思的来打破僵局 所以
maybe we could just start with something to break the ice. So...
*是谁偷了饼干罐里的饼干*
*Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?*
*是麦克偷了饼干罐里的饼干*
*Michael stole the cookie from the cookie jar.*
你刚刚在搞什么
What the fuck was that?
抱歉 这是排练前会做的练习
I'm sorry! It's a rehearsal exercise.
我紧张了嘛
I'm nervous!
我们又不是在他妈的西尔维亚·杨剧院学校
We're not at fucking Sylvia Young's!
-你搞什么呢 -我唱了之后
- What are you doing? - I sing...
-然后应该是麦克唱 -求求您给我正常点
- then Michael sings... - Just be normal, for fuck's sake!
他就是只小猫咪 但你得 你不能玩这套
He's a pussycat, but you've got to... You can't roll that shit out.
肯定是你们俩之一的手♥机♥在响
It's definitely coming from one of you.
-不是我的手♥机♥ -也不是我的
- It's not mine. - It's not mine either.
西蒙
Simon?
西蒙 电♥话♥ 是乔打来的
Simon! Phone. Jo.
你好 乔
Hi, Jo.
你们好 我是露西 西蒙的姐姐
Hi! I'm Lucy. I'm Simon's sister.
-你好 我是大卫 -我是麦克
- David. Hi. - Michael.
你们好
Hi.
所以你是住在西蒙家里吗
You live with Simon, then?
不 其实是他住在我这儿 这里是我家
No, he actually lives with me. This is my place.
就我们看到的而言
Well. It's very lovely,
-你们家还是挺温馨的 -多谢夸奖
- what we've seen of it. - Thank you.
我是个铁杆粉丝
I'm a big fan.
你能这么说真好
That's very kind of you.
没错 我看过《枕头人》Yeah, I saw The Pillowman.
大卫·田纳特主演的话剧 于2003年首演
多谢捧场
Well, thank you.
-那都是我好久以前演的了 -那部剧从未离开过我
- That was...a very long time ago now. - It never left me.
你现在得说点麦克的好话 不然他会嫉妒的
You need to say something nice about Michael now, or he gets jealous.
确实如此
That's actually true.
我看过你演的《哈姆雷特》
Well, I saw your Hamlet.
二刷哦
Twice.
二刷了呢
Twice!
没错 你对人性潜能有着令人心碎的清醒认识
Yeah, you seemed so heartbreakingly conscious of human potential.
这就是我一直在追求的东西
Well, that's what I was going for.
你这个小撒谎精
You lying shit.
大卫
David!
露西可不是第一个注意到
Lucy's not the first person to notice my...
我对人性潜能有着令人心碎的清醒认识的人
heartbreaking consciousness of human potential.
是吗 那你说说还有谁
Really? Name one other human being
用过原封不动的话形容过你
who used that exact collection of words to describe you.
蒂姆·伯顿[美国导演]Tim Burton.
我得回去工作了 所以
I'd better get back to work, so...
西蒙会回来吗 还是...
Is Simon ever coming back at all, or is he...?
我们可以休息一下了
Oh, we've earned a break.
-但能见到你们俩我真的很高兴 -彼此彼此
- But it was lovely to meet you both. - You too.
没错 跟戏剧迷交流的感觉真的很好
Yes. Lovely to chat to a real theatre fan.
露西 你看过很多西蒙的作品吗
Oh, Lucy! Have you seen much of Simon's work?
没看过
No.
好吧
Fair enough.
真好
Lovely.
她是你的铁杆粉丝哦
Big fan of yours.
是啊 并且你演的《枕头人》从未离开过她
Yes, and your Pillowman has never left her.
仿佛某种18世纪的性病
Like some sort of 18th-century STD.
她去看了两遍你演的戏呢
Well, she had to come and see you twice.
是啊 第一次我演得太好了 她不敢相信
Yeah, she couldn't believe it the first time.
第一次不敢相信是吧
Couldn't believe it the first time!
她是觉得 "这年头的哈姆雷特不可能会演成这样"
"That can't be what's passing for Hamlet these days," she thought.
"我最好回去再看一遍"
"I'd better go back and check."
我演的戏不仅没有离开她 她还回来重看了
Not only did it not leave her, she had to come back.
-是啊 -是她舍不得离开我演的戏
- Yeah. - She didn't want to leave it.
蒂姆·伯顿说了什么来着
What was it that Tim Burton said?
他一字不差地说 "麦克 我很喜欢
Word for word, he said... "Michael, I loved
你在表演中对人性潜能的那种
how heartbreaking your consciousness
-令人心碎的清醒认识" -还挺像那么回事
- of human potential was in that." - Yeah. That's very good.
-你从没见过蒂姆·伯顿 对吗 -没有
- You've never actually met Tim Burton, have you? - No.
-是吧 -我跟他合作过 但他当时不在
- No. - I mean, I worked with him, but he wasn't there.
麦克·辛出演过蒂姆·伯顿电影《爱丽丝梦游仙境》中的白兔先生
-西蒙什么时候回来 -我觉得咱们今天就算结束了
- When's Simon coming back? - I think we're done for the day.
很高兴和你合作 麦克
Pleasure working with you, Michael.
我也是 大卫
You too, David.
从未离开哦
Never leave.
-我有三个问题 -说
- I have three questions. - Sure.
第一 为什么这个演员的经纪人
One. Why is this fucking actor's agent calling me
每个小时都要给我打电♥话♥
every fucking hour of the fucking day?
他明明就已经退出了
He left the fucking project.
没错 但他的电影被取消了
Yeah. So his film has been cancelled
所以他想重新加入进来
so he wants to get back involved again.
-他进不来 -没错
- And he can't be. - No.
为什么
Well, why?
-已经有麦克了 -他俩不能一起演吗