密西西比（2015）

密西西比 第二季第四集
一个人不断打喷嚏要怎么办
How about when a person keeps on sneezing?
啊嚏 啊嚏 啊嚏
Like a-choo, a-choo, a-choo.
那我得对他说多少句
It's like, how many times do I have
愿上帝保佑你
to keep on saying God Bless you?
反正每次有人打喷嚏我都说了
I say it every time they sneeze.
我只想和他们说
'Cause I just want to say,
- 快别打了 你这混♥蛋♥ - 不是吧
- quit sneezing, a-hole! - Oh, no!
唐吉 你可千万别去当医生
Donkey, you could never be a doctor.
- 早上好 - 你好
- Good morning. - Hello.
请拨♥打♥热♥线♥并说出你的想法
Call in and let us know what you think.
到底有没有这种"保佑"过头的事
Is there such a thing as too many God bless yous?
他们实在太逗了 你不觉得吗
They are hilarious, don't you think?
我和你一样喜欢他们
I just love how much you love 'em.
早上好 凡人们
Good morning, crowd of humans.
等等 你们是在比赛烹饪吗
Wait, is this a cooking challenge?
不 我和戴西蕾在给你们做早餐
No, Desiree and I are making you breakfast
为了感谢你们的热情好客
to thank you both for your hospitality.
有奶油松饼 培根 饼干和肉汤
There's buttermilk pancakes, bacon, and biscuits and gravy,
那不错啊 但我觉得自己并没有
That's so nice, but I don't think I've made it back
回到食物金字塔的那一层 所以
to that level of the food pyramid yet, so...
我还是继续喝果昔好了
I think I'm gonna stick with my smoothie.
我一般都吃微波的冷冻早餐三明治
And I always have my frozen microwavable breakfast sandwich.
储物间里有个吸尘器
There is a portable vacuum in the pantry
等做好了就拿出来打扫
for when you're finished.
得了吧 我就是要放屁
Come on, all I do is fart.
不好意思 他们的声音我受不了了
Ugh, I'm sorry. I cannot take their voices.
我和他们共用一间演播室
They work in the same studio as me,
所以每天我都能在走廊里听到他们对喊的声音
so I hear them barking at each other down the hall every day.
你认识晨间节目的唐吉 凯文和蓓柯
You know Donkey, Kev, and Bec in the morning?
你能帮我要来他们的签名供收藏吗
Could you get their autograph for my collection?
行 我马上帮你要
Yeah, I'll get right on that.
虽然也不是什么大事
Um... no big deal,
但是 这张报纸我可是喜欢得不得了
but uh, I'm all over this piece of paper
就是人们用眼睛看的报纸
that people read with their eyeballs.
- 逖格 - 恭喜你 逖格
- Wow, Tig! - Congratulations, Tig.
《时代新闻报》可不是谁都会采访
The Times-Press does not interview just anybody.
虽然我不这么觉得 但还是挺开心的
I kind of feel like they do but it still feels good.
我们家里出了个大明星 小雷
We got a famous person in the family, Rem.
逖格 你怎么没用那个超上镜表情
Tig, you didn't use your pretty picture face.
这个吗
This one?
对 就这个
Yeah, that one.
这是什么
What's this?
被你发现了
Oh, you found my stash.
抱歉 比尔 我的冰箱放不下了
Oh, sorry, Bill, I ran out of room in my freezer.
我本来这周想再买♥♥个更大的
I was going to buy a bigger one this week.
戴西得找个地方存着她的母乳
Des needed room for her breast milk.
她在网上卖♥♥这些
She sells it on-line.
我保证只卖♥♥给女人
I make sure to only sell to women.
你懂的 总有些恋物的变♥态♥
You know, 'cause of the fetish stuff.
开了暖气吗
Is the heat on?
是的 线路是兼容的
Yes, the wiring is compatible.
我全都检查过了
I checked all that.
- 我去叫小命运起床 - 好的
- I gotta get Tini up. - Okay.
你和比尔能对戴西蕾友好点吗
Hey, can you and Bill please be nicer to Desiree?
好的 但我就是很困惑 她为什么会...
Okay, I'm just confused why she's so...
在这儿
Here.
她和命运搬过来和我住了
She and Destiny moved in with me.
我们爱着彼此
We're in love.
所以你们要是能让她走进你们的生活就好了
So it'd be great if y'all could accept her into your lives.
我都不知道她已经走进了我的生活
I didn't know she was in my life.
她的确是 她已经是我们的家人了
Well, she is, she's part of our family now,
小宝宝也是
and so is the baby.
所以我当姑姑了
So I'm an aunt.
那个出主意让我约她出去的人可是你
You're the one that told me I should go out with her.
就一次约会 我都不知道
One date. I mean, I don't even understand
你到底怎么了
what's going on with you.
先是突如其来的宗教狂热
Your sudden religious zeal.
然后又立马和别人同居
Your immediate cohabitation with a person
而且她和你完全不是一个路子的
who appears to be extremely different from you.
- 我是说... - 她没有和我完全不一样
- I mean... - She is not extremely different that me.
耶稣会做什么菜
What would Jesus cook?
我是说 耶稣会做菜吗
I mean, would Jesus even cook?
他不是直接把别的东西变成吃的吗
I mean, wouldn't he just turn something into dinner?
谁会在意她围裙上的这些无聊的小细节 逖格
Who cares about some stupid detail like her apron, Tig?
细节决定一切
Details add up to create a whole.
可你根本不了解她的为人
Yeah, of a person you don't even know.
你也是啊 这就我要说的
Neither do you. That's all I'm saying.
我懂 但我没让你提建议 这就是我的想法
Yeah, and I didn't ask your advice, that's all I'm saying.
所以你并没有崩溃
So you're not having some sort of breakdown?
没有 逖格 这就是我 自在快乐
No, Tig, this is me, happy.
我们已经被关于新西兰的邮件淹没了
We've been inundated with emails about New Zealand.
很明显 新西兰
Apparently, it's one of
是世界上最友善的国家之一
the friendliest countries in the world.
说不定我们去了那里
Oh, well then it would be a perfect place
就能成为好朋友了
for us to be friends.
你想多谈谈那件事吗
Do you want to talk more about that?
不 除非你改变立场
No. I mean, unless you've revised your position on things.
等我改好了就告诉你
Well, I'll let you know when I do.
要是我会的话
If I do.
那里有全民医疗保险
There's universal health care,
而且没有水母 也没有蛇和石灰蜱虫
there's no jellyfish, snakes or lime ticks.
那算了吧 我爱石灰蜱虫
Oh, well, forget it. I love lime ticks.
我正在放屁 伙计
I'm farting right now, dude.
别放屁了 放屁没什么值得炫耀的
Stop farting. And don't brag about farting.
- 我永远不会停 - 蓓柯想给你们打招呼
- Never stop farting. - Hey, Bec wanted to say hi.
对不起 对不起
Sorry. Sorry.
正常点
Pull it together.
奥克兰也没有讨人厌的晨间节目
There's no obnoxious morning shows in Auckland.
那可不 毕竟那里连石灰蜱虫都没有
Well, how could there be if there's no lime ticks.
看了报纸的报道吗
Hey, how about that write-up in the paper?
我谷歌♥快讯提示响个不停
My Google alerts are dinging off the hook.
你在街上被围堵了吗
You getting stopped in the streets yet?
没 只是被摸了一遍
No, just frisked.
如果你要保镖的话 我有个人选
Well, let me know if you need security, I know a guy.
那好啊 我们正需要个保镖
Oh, okay, we could use a bouncer to keep
让唐吉 凯文和蓓柯在我们视线里消失
Donkey, Kev and Bec out of our way.
- 算了吧 - 这事儿我包了
- Please. - I'm on it.
对了 今晚在卡桑德拉·奈特有个神秘表演
Oh, also, Cassandra Knight is playing a secret show
地点是迪娜酒吧 她打电♥话♥来
this evening at Tippy-Tina's and she called
特意邀请你 逖格 她是你的粉丝
to invite you specifically, Tig. She's a fan.
卡桑德拉·奈特是我的粉丝
Cassandra Knight is a fan?
我是她的粉丝
I'm a fan.
她的歌♥我能听一辈子
I've been listening to her forever.
那我们去吧 凯特 你去吗
Then let's go. Kate, you in?
凯特不喜欢音乐
Oh, Kate doesn't like music.
没错 但我喜欢人多的地方 我也去
That's right, but I do love crowds, though. I'm in.
把她放在洗衣篮里
Just stick her in the hamper
然后和脏衣服一起带下来就行了
and bring her down with the laundry!
比尔
Bill.
原谅我贸然打扰
Forgive me for intruding.
但我知道中午十一点是个有效率的时间段
I know the 11:00 hour is a productive one.
我想就智能家居故障的问题
I'm seeking your council
找你协商一下
regarding a roadblock with the Nest.
出了什么问题
What is the difficulty?
我正确地设置了
I correctly set the schedule
需要的温度和时间段
for my preferred temperature and times.
但是它的反应就像我什么也没设置
It's behaving as if I had not.
你是在恒温器上设置的
Did you set it on the thermostat itself,
- 还是用应用设置的 - 都试过了
- or on the app? - I tried both.