复古球衣先生（2024）

我服了丹尼
God damn it, Danny.
什么叫你还没和斯蒂芬说
What do you mean you haven't said anything to Steph?
你一整周都和他在一起
You've been with him literally all week.
我试过了
Itried.
嘿SC
Hey, uh, SC, uh- -
怎么了丹尼
What's up, Danny?
你想听一件最好笑的事吗
You want to hear the funniest thing?
当然想
Oh, I'd love to, man.
先打住这是你的公♥司♥卡
Oh, before you say anything, here's your company card
慈善球赛所有支出刷它
for all your expenses for the charity game.
大小支出都可以刷这卡
You can put everything on there.
还有金伯莉
Oh, also, Kimberly,
她会帮你联♥系♥我们的旅行协调员
she'll hook you up with our travel coordinator.
安德玛专机你只能和我一起搭乘
You can't use the Under Armour plane unless I'm on it.
不过利捷航♥空♥你不介意吧
But, uh, I hope you're all right with NetJets.
行吗 至于酒店
Is that cool? - And as far as hotels go,
斯蒂芬爱住安缦 尽量选它旗下的
Steph's an Aman guy, so just try to stick to those.
吉瑞加尼雅拉普瑞普罗 都很赞
Giri, Gani, Yara, Puri, Pulo, they all go hard, man.
只要报斯蒂芬的名字
Just basically drop Steph's name anywhere,
就会给你安排妥妥的不用你操心
and you'll get hooked up. People will take care of you.
就这样没错
It's like that. Absolutely.
还有记得去一趟车♥库♥
Oh, and make sure you stop by the garage.
挑辆你喜欢的开
Grab any car you want.
－ 送我随便你
To keep? - Ah, either way.
我前面打断你了
Oh, I cut you off earlier.
你想跟我说什么好笑的事
What was that funny thing you wanted to tell me?
你看过那个新闻播报员
Have you seen that video with the newscaster
酿酒的视频吗
that is making wine?
真的吗
Really?
你没有找到一个机会
You didn't get one literal opportunity
说这事
to say anything?
拿我的性命发誓 没有
On my life, no.
你在想啥呢
Penny for your thoughts?
不知道啊
Oh, uh, I don't know.
你有不时望向大海
You ever just sometimes look at the ocean
感觉自己渺沧海之一粟
and feel like you're just small and insignificant
感觉自己在大局中无关紧要吗
and like you don't matter in the scheme of things?
没有
Nope.
我也没有
Yeah, no, me neither.
其余时间他都在睡觉
And the rest of the time, he was slleeping.
这家伙是个低调的睡神啊
I mean, the guy is a low- key nap God.
睡神怎么他是个小宝宝吗
Anap God? What is he, a little baby boy?
你连七点半后的晚餐都不想去
You didn't even like to go to dinner past 7: 30 PM.
这家伙那个点可在打名人堂级别的
This guy is playing a professional basketball game 弘7. 1
职业篮球赛啊
at Hall of Fame levels at that time.
所以没错 他喜欢打盹吧
So, yeah, he likes to catch a few Z's, I guess.
我不知道
I don't know.
态势剑拔弩张
Tensions are particularly high
是因为萨姆认为我忘了
because Sam thought that I forgot to order
订夏莉生日会的纸杯蛋糕
the cupcakes for Charlie's birthday,
但事实上 应该是萨姆来订
when in fact, it was Sam's job to order
错了态势剑拔弩张 joiangetheorj
TEAM MEMBgp
No, tensions are high
是因为丹尼跟斯蒂芬·库里说etheory
because Danny told Stephen Curry TEAM MEMBER
hfdsugmersoygandhesxlvehg8 我们女儿要死了他在大肆计划
以她的名义办大型慈善篮球赛
smwechamybosketbaigansmmafageheov
但是没错他还忘了订该死的纸杯蛋糕
But yeah, he also forgot to order the fucking cupcaka
我有消息证明
I have the texts right here.
该由萨姆来订纸杯
It was Sam who was supposed to order the cup
噢是我啊
I was supposed to order the cupcakes.
但该由萨姆来订气
But it was Sam who was supposed to order the balloo
噢是我啊
I was supposed to order the balloons too.
为什么全要我来
Why do I have to do everything?
因为我一周值32轮班
Because I work 32 shifts a week,
你却整天坐在这网购
and you just sit in here online shoppingj
嗑药
tripping balls all day.
那叫微量嗑药
It's called microdosing.
老天开始了
Oh, my God, here we go.
你如果嗑很多微剂量的
If you take, like, a dozen microdoses,
那就是正常量了
that's a regular dose.
我们讲话的同时
There are a lot of successful people
有很多成功人士就在嗑药
that are doing the same thing as we speak.
还有我不是在网购
And Iam not online shopping.
我在东寻西觅
I am sourcing.
就像 单亲全职老爸
It's like, single working dad.
但如果让我替你做一切好可以
But ifI have to do everything for you, fine, no problem.
我叫跑腿那现在叫啊
I will Postmates it. - Do it now, then.
32个纸杯蛋糕下周二见
32 cupcakes. See you next Tuesday.
你说什么
Excuse you? Qjang e
预计送达时间是下周二
That- - that's when they're gonna arrive, is next Tuesday.
我俩也到时候见
And that's that's when I'll see you.
丹尼你会把这整件事搞砸的
Danny, this whole thing's gonna blow up in your face
就和以往一样不会
like it always does. - It is not.
但更糟的 更糟的 你又说不准
But worse - but worse- You don't know that.
会坏了夏莉的生日
It's gonna blow up in Charlie's facel
我是为了夏莉 她现在
I'm doing this for Charlie. She's going through
过得不太好你们不要为
a rough time right now. - You guys can stop fighting- -
我的派对吵了 因为没人会参加的
about my party because no one's gonna come.
－ 我们没不我们没在吵架
We weren't- - no. - We were not fighting.
大家都会去你派对的
Everyone's coming to your party.
我们在谈话而已不不 真的
We were just talking. - No. No. Literally.
维奥莱·G要在同一天
Violet G is having her birthday
在道过生日
on the same day as mine at Tao.
在道那个夜店道
At Tao? The nightclub Tao?
那可真牛逼
That's bussin'.
爸爸别说了
Dad, stop.
抱歉这话不好
Sorry, no, it didn't feel good coming out.
维奥莱·G这肯定不是故意的F
Look, Violet G, I'm sure it was an accident.
我会跟她妈聊聊的
I'll talk to her mom about it.
我们会想办法的没事
We'll work it out. It's fine.
会没事的不用
It'll be fine. - It's fine.
我们还会给你办派对
We're still gonna have your party.
不用了我不需要派对
It's fine. Guys, I don't need a party
－ 夏莉真没事
Charlie. - It's fine.
得给你办个派对我去车上等 f8Ep
You gotta have a party I'll be in the car.
were to reiwse serrice i0 宝贝 夏莉
anyone Babe. Charlie.
没人会去道的别气
No one's gonna go to Tao. Come on.
以前生日派对一直在我爸店里过
Ialways have my party at my dad's store.
祝你生日快乐
all Happy birthday³
很棒但过去几年
Which is great, except for the last couple years
他为了生意没打烊
when he couldn't afford to close during it.
你今年几岁啊
*How old are you now? *
好了孩子们 来这边
OK, kids, on this side
来这边大家大家过来
On this side, everybody Everyone, come to this side.
换了道就不会这样
Tao it is not.
我要和维奥莱·G的妈妈聊聊
I'm gonna talk to Violet G's mom.
你去和斯蒂芬·库里说说 AM M
You're gonna talk to Steph Curry.
搞定这事 否则我把你做了
You're gonna end this, or I'm gonna end you.
我还会抄上家伙火烧你的坟头
And I'll strap one on and I'll"Saltburn" your grave.
老天
Jesus Christ.
大伙
Ah, hey, everybody.
你们能否停一下手上的活 我有件
Um, if you could all stop what you're doing, I have a- -
你在干嘛在喝玛格丽特鸡尾酒吗
What are you doing? Are you having margaritas?
你今晚不是要打比赛吗
Don'tyou have a game tonight?
不这些是胎盘素鸡尾酒 来一杯吗
No, these are placenta- ritas. You want one?
放心不是人的 是马的
Don't worry, it's not human. It's horse.
我更喜欢猪的那味道绝了
Oh, I like the pig more. The pig went crazy.
绝了记得吗
Crazy. Remember that?
他管它叫咕噜莓微风
He called it the, uh, Oinkberry Breeze.
是个好名字
Oh, that was a good name, yeah.
－ 我喜欢 是不错
Ha, I like it. Yeah, that was good.