复古球衣先生（2024）

这真是气死我了 因为
It's making me quite angry because it
这听着一点也不像我 -听着不像我
doesn't sound like me at all- It doesn't sound like me.
拜托别学了 -你朋友需要你帮忙
Please stop. Your friend needs your help.
沃德尔·斯蒂芬·库里就像小国家
Wardell Stephen Curry is like a small country.
他的GDP几乎和尼加拉瓜一样
His GDP is roughly the same as Nicaragua.
他主要输出得分
His chief export is buckets.
这输出滞后时
And when the production of that export lags,
他带动的整个经济就会停滞
the entire economy around him grinds to a halt.
斯蒂芬经济 懂吗
Stephenomics, you follow?
如果我说 勇士队没打进
What if I were to tell you that if the Warriors don't make
季后赛 球队会因未售出门票 食品饮料 周边
the playoffs, it'll cost the team over 100 million
和电视转播收入损失超过1亿美元 你怎么想
in unsold tickets, concessions, merch, and TV revenue?
当然 我不会透露这些因为
Of course, I would never tell you that because Stephen
斯蒂芬很迷信 合同禁止
is so superstitious that anyone who works for him
他的员工有勇士队错失冠军
is contractually forbidden from even thinking the Warriors
的想法
won't win the chip.
所以我绝对不会说
So I'm definitely not also saying that the surrounding
周边湾区经济 包括酒店 餐馆
Bay Area economy, talking hotels, restaurants,
夜店 脱衣舞俱乐部 会损失将近2亿
clubs, night and strip, stand to lose close to 200 million.
你可别提我还把客场城市
And don't you dare say I added on another 2 hundo
损失的2亿算进去了 因为那会是
for the away game cities because that would be like,
多少 5亿吧
what, half a bill?
这还没算上NBA到小县城
And that's before the NBA takes a bath when to tertiary shit
再打决赛的损失 但这不会发生
holes make the finals again, which is never going to happen
因为斯蒂芬会走出低谷
because Steph is going to break out of his slump
勇士队会所向披靡 宝贝儿
and the Warriors are going to go all the way, baby.
我懂了
I get it.
我的朋友 斯蒂芬·库里 需要我的帮助
My friend, Steph Curry, needs my help.
不 斯蒂芬需要的不是你
No, Steph doesn't need you.
是米奇
Steph needs Mitch.
哪位米奇
Mitch who? TBSSAI
你♥爸♥米奇
Mitch, your daddy, who.
米奇 我爸 不可能
Mitch, my father, no fucking way.
抱歉 -拜托
I'm sorry. Mm- mm. Come on.
丹尼 你知道我很不想麻烦你
Danny, you know I truly hate asking you for anything,
但只有你知道米奇在哪
but you're the only person that knows where Mitch is.
我们已经竭尽所能让他恢复
And we have tried everything else to fix this thing.
克尔教练指导他
Coach Kerr worked with him.
麦基洛普从戴维森飞过来
McKillop flew in from Davidson.
我们找了所有顶尖运动心理专家 一位催眠师
We've seen all the top sports psychologists, a hypnotist,
还有一个自称灵气大♥师♥的人 但他
someone called a Reiki master, but all he did
整个过程只是把手悬在斯蒂芬屁♥股♥
was hold his hands an inch over Steph's butt
上方一英寸
the whole time.
有点诡异
It was kind of freaky.
你知道我以前怎么走出低谷的吗
You know how I got out of a slump back in my day?
迈克尔·乔丹朝我脸上来了一拳
Michael Jordan punched me in the face.
所以斯蒂芬觉得米奇是关键
So Steph's got it in his head that Mitch is the key
因为他在六年级时
because he's the one that helped him fix
帮他找回手感
his shot back in sixth grade.
斯蒂芬 投篮啊 投就完事儿
Steph, just shoot the ball. Just shoot it.
别多想
Don't think about it.
漂亮 两分
Nice, two points.
希望你能进高中校队
I hope you make the high schoolteam.
这是你的上限
That s your ceiling
祝你好运
Well, best of luck.
你要是见到米奇 帮我转达 去你的
And if you do see Mitch, please tell him from me, fuck you,
又或许这是个回报斯蒂芬的好方法
Or maybe this is a nice way to repay Steph
他帮了我们很多忙
for helping us so much, He's helped us so much.
谢谢你 萨姆
Thank you, Sam.
坦白说 你们也有义务帮忙
And honestly, not for nothing, his slump
他的低迷期就是从
does seem to have started the day
你回到他生活里那天开始的
you came back into his life.
是我们诅咒了他 -差不多
Wecursed him. - Mm- hmm.
不好意思 你真的要把库里
I'm sorry Are you seriously blaming
投篮的问题归咎于我女儿的病吗
Steph's shooting woes on our sick daughter?
我们女儿
Our daughter- -
老兄 淡定点
Dude, chill.
每天都在 -没事没事
is out there every day- OK, OK, OK.
独自 -好的
that she has left- - - AlI right, okay.
拼命与病魔战斗
fighting, fighting for her life.
我不是这个意思 -她不是这个意思
I didn't mean it. - She didn't mean it.
而且就算我想帮你联♥系♥到米奇
Even if Twas to help you and reach out to Mitch,
我也真不知道他在哪儿
I don't know where he is.
所以请让您的警♥察♥护送您
So if you could, please have your police
移步去我家外面 谢谢您
escort you out of my house. Thank you.
啊 其实是我的房♥子 你们可以
Okay, it's my house, so you can stay and eat your lasagna
继续呆着吃千层面 而且 噢
as long as you want. And- oh.
我刚解释的只是库里宏观的商业状况
What I explained earlier is just the macro Stephenomics.
其实微观的更让我头疼
The micro is counterintuitively even bigger for me.
不要 来吧
Oh, no. Comeon, man.
不要 来吧
口 Oh, no. Come on, man.
进去吧 啊
That's going in. Aughl
库里陷入低谷时 他会暂停不管一切
When Stephen's in a slump, he puts his whole world
直到他走出低谷
on hold until he's out of it
对 在超级杯后拍超级杯广♥告♥
Yes, I know shooting a Super Bowl commercial
是不太好
after the Super Bowl isn't ideal,
但我也没办法
but there's nothing I can do for you.
他的行程就像
That man's schedule is like a house of cards
积木塔上的纸牌屋
built on a Jenga tower.
库里不缺三明治代言
Stephen can sling subs for anyone.
要是没法愉快合作
Now, we can do this the easy way,
我们也可以和麦克合作
or we can do this Mike's way.
对 我们可以找麦克家合作
That's right We'll go to Jersey Mike's.
老六
Motherfucker.
一张牌掉了 整个屋子就全塌我身上
Move one thing, and it all falls down on me.
你只有一个任务
You got one fucking job.
投篮 投篮是你唯一的任务
Buckets, buckets is your job.
我到底怎么了
What is happening right now?
兰迪 我再说最后一遍
Ugh, Randy, for the last time,
库里不去巴塞尔艺术展
Stephen is not going to Art Basel.
所以你也不能去巴塞尔艺术展
Therefore, you are not going to Art Basel.
我才不管你已经回复了
I don't give a shit that you already RSVP'd
朱利安·施纳贝尔的什么人
to Julian Schnabel's PDR at ZZs.
再见 兰迪
Goodbye, Randrew.
综上 库里一次低迷期对他商业价值
So yeah, a Steph Curry slump is a very big deal,
损害极大 而且只会越来越大
and it was only getting worse.
库里抢断 小心 库里滑倒了
Curry off the steal, and oh, look out, Curry slipped.
啊 库里 上天保佑
Oh, Steph. Mama mia.
听我说完 看这个
Hear me out, though. Check this out.
斯蒂芬库里是被食尸鬼
Is it possible that Steph Curry has been possessed
附身了吗
by a ghoul or something?
走啦
Char, let's go.
不管怎样 他都要被嘲笑了
Either way, he going to be on "Shaqtin' a Fool
不 她还没来
Oh, she's actually not here yet.
什么 还没从学校回来
What? She's not home from school?
她和朋友逛商场去了
Mm- mm, she's at the mall with her friends.
我们夏莉吗 -对
Our Charlie? - Yes.
天哪 -对啊
Oh my god. - I know
哇 这可太好了 对吧
I know. It's crazy, right?
太好了 -对 看你今天
That's amazing. Yeah, look at you.
什么 -打扮这么美
What? Look at you.
要去参加什么时尚晚宴吗
Where are you going, a cleavage convention?
不 就是和一些朋友约了喝喝酒
No, I'm going- - work drinks with friends and other- -
什么的 别问了
whatever, shut up.
我知道了 -怎么
I see what's going on. What?
你做头发了
You got your hair done.
还化了妆
You got your makeup done.
有一种气息 -什么气息
Vibe picked up on. - What vibe?
不对
No.
恋爱的荷尔蒙气息
You know, you're throwing it out there.