奇迹缔造者

并不意味着你就不用再学习了
doesn't mean you quit learning.
所以我给你做了这个
That's why I got you this.
爸爸 你不用送我东西的
Dad! You don't have to get me anything.
-是你应得的 -是什么
- You earned it. - What is it?
我敢说亚丽能猜出来
I'll bet Allie can guess.
除非你给我点提示
Not if you don't give me a clue.
这么说吧 我已经"看"了你有一阵子了
Okay, let's just say I've been reading you for a while now,
我希望你不要从外表去评判这个礼物
and I hope you don't judge this gift by its cover.
可如果你正确地"看"明白了我
But if you read me correctly,
我敢说你会迫不及待地"捧起"它
I'd say you just might book it.
亚历桑德拉·铲屎官
是把铲屎的铲子 铲屎用的
It's a shit shovel! For shoveling shit!
既然你学业已经完成
I mean, now that you're done with school,
你总算可以参与家族事业了
you can finally join the family business.
祝贺你 小亚
Yeah. Oh, congratulations, Al.
谢谢
Yeah, uh, thanks.
等等 你说的那些看啊 捧啊
Wait, what were all the allusions
读书的暗示是什么情况
you were making to books and reading?
不是 只因为那上面有字而已
Oh, no. Just because there's writing on it.
我是说 这些都是字啊
You know, I mean, these are words.
亚历桑德拉·铲屎官
我想那是你的名字吧
I think that's your name.
看好了
And watch this.
它还能当墓碑用
It also doubles as a gravestone.
安息吧
等你铲屎的时候死了
So when you drop dead shoveling,
这个就一站式全解决了 宝贝
it's just one-stop shopping, baby.
-嚯 -看
- Wow! - Look,
和我的很像 不过你的型号♥更新
it's just like mine, only you got the newer model.
爱德华·铲屎官
好了
All right, you.
去睡吧 你需要养精蓄锐
Off to bed 'cause you need your rest.
明天开始你真正的学习
Tomorrow starts your real education.
这世上的一切都是完美的
Everything in the world is perfect.
爸 我们为什么这么早就要开始啊
Dad, why do we have to start so early?
你知道铲屎官的誓言
Well, you know the shoveler's pledge.
"无论何时何地 再大也不怕"
"Any time, anywhere, even if it's big."
-这就是誓言吗 -对
- That's the pledge? - Yeah.
很好记 因为它不押韵
It's easy to remember because it doesn't rhyme.
第一轮工作 "大"时刻
First job. Big moment.
好吧 赶紧完事吧
Okay. Let's just get this over with.
悠着点 小牛仔
Easy there, cowboy.
我得教你点"技术"
I got to teach you "la technique."
听好 永远不要背对着粪车
All right, now, never turn your back on the cart,
而且保持从颈部发力往上抬
and always lift from your neck.
颈部是身体的动力中心
The neck is the body's power center.
为什么这些铲子这么短
Why are these shovels so short?
这样我们就必须把腰弯得更低 这样更困难
Well, this way we have to stoop over more, and it's harder.
这全是坏处
Those are negatives.
我爸就是这样教我的
That's the way my dad taught me.
我还记得他死于铲屎之前说的那句话
I remember what he said just before he died of shoveling.
"儿子 我觉得怪怪的"
"Son, I feel weird."
好了
All right.
你说什么
What did you say?
我想帮您征服瓦爪根人
I want to help you conquer the Valdrogians,
挥舞利剑 斩尽...尽...
to swing the sword, and hit the... the...
尽...那些东西
The... the things.
对 就像您一样
Yeah, like you.
你真的明白捍卫我们的王国是一项
You do realize that defending our kingdom
庄严而神圣的荣誉吗
is a solemn and sacred honor?
只要你拿起武器 就没有退路了
Once you take up arms, there's no going back.
是的 我完全明白
Oh, yeah! No, I totally get it.
是吗
Do you?
完全明白
Totes.
这是我人生中第一次
For the first time in my life,
可以注视着你却没有感到羞辱难耐
I can gaze upon you without feeling wrenching shame.
谢谢
Thank you.
我也爱您
I-I-I love you, too.
韦克斯勒勋爵 用最隆重的军事礼仪
Lord Vexler, escort him to the town gates
护送他到城门口
with full military honors.
您确定要这么做吗
Are... Are you sure about this?
他连盔甲都没有
He... He doesn't even have any armor.
他可以穿我的
He can wear mine.
好了 我们就要到米切尔家了
All right, we're coming up on Mitchell's house.
他可是产出大户
Now, he's a heavy hitter.
他有严重的健康问题
He's got real health problems.
但别被他吓坏了
But don't let that psych you out.
就只是...
You know, just...
-我们只要进去 -你好啊
- We got to get in there. - Hi-eee!
糟了
Oh, God.
我马上回来
I'll be right back.
你们好啊 伙计们
Hey, guys!
还好吗
How's it going?
我不骗你 挺不错的
Not gonna lie. It's pretty lit.
木匠的活做得很顺利
Carpenter stuff is going great,
而韦变♥态♥也干得很起劲...
and Wesley Pervert over here is killing it do...
你干的是什么来着 韦斯利
What are you doing again, Wesley?
事情
Things.
-不错 -酷
- Nice! - Cool!
对了 玛丽有好消息
Oh, and Mary's got some big news.
我要结婚了
I'm getting married!
你应该见过他 他是我兄弟
I think you met him. He's my brother.
不好意思 应该是未婚夫
Sorry, fiancé.
我得习惯这个说法
I just got to get used to it.
未婚夫 未婚夫
Fiancé. Fiancé.
还是感觉有点奇怪
Still feels weird.
话说回来 学校如何了
Anyways, how's school?
-你懂的 就是... -小亚
- Uh, you know, it... - Al.
你的屎铲子掉了
You dropped your shit shovel.
等等 我的天哪
Wait. Oh, my God.
我好困惑 你在铲屎吗
I'm so confused. Are you shoveling shit?
真是太棒了
That is so great.
我太为你高兴了
I just love this for you
因为当你说你要去上学时
'cause when you said you were doing school,
我就想"什么" 但这个很适合你
I was like, "Huh," but this just fits.
就好像你终于找到了自己的归宿
It's like you finally found your thing.
说到这个 我刚拉了一坨超大的屎
Speaking of, I took a truly wild shit
就在那边的树后面
behind that tree over there.
你是不是可以去...
Do you think you could...?
我们马上就去
Oh, we're all over it.
对了 告诉他们今日特色
Hey! Tell them about today's special.
不 我觉得他们不想听今日特色
No, I don't think they want to hear about today's special.
拜托告诉我们今日特色
Please tell us about today's special.
今天是周二双倍不加价
Uh, Double Trouble Tuesdays are here.
三倍抽奖可免单
Triple Dookie Sweepstakes.
买♥♥♥一♥送♥一♥ 孩子免费
Buy one, get one, kids go free.
我的好姑娘
That's my girl.
很高兴见到你
Nice seeing you!
进展挺不错
Well, that went great!
我觉得咱们可以吃午饭了
I'd say we earned our lunch today.
别背对你的粪车
Hey, don't turn your back on the cart.
我要一个人去午休
Gonna take my lunch break alone.
那好吧
Okay, well...
一会儿见
Well, see you later.
颂赞查斯利王子 头衔待定
All hail Prince Chauncley, the... TBD.
谢谢你们让我一起来
Thanks for letting me tag along.
我们很荣幸能在您身边奋战
We are honored to fight by your side.
您让您父亲骄傲
You do your father proud.
拜托 别这样
Ohh, guys, come on!
我们是真心的
We mean it.
不是所有王子都有胆向血国行进
It isn't every prince who would march into the Realm of Blood.
听着 我是个打仗新手
Uh, listen, I'm a bit of a battle newbie.