已婚（2014）

Married S02E10

Part 1 March 31, 2021, 12:30 p.m.

好了吗
Is it ready?
应该好了吧
Uh, I think so,
但我们得先试试
but we have to test it.
好了有点烫拿一根面条
Okay, it's a little hot. Take a strand.
扔向墙壁如果黏住了
And throw it against the wall and if it sticks,
-那就说明熟了 -我也想试
- then it's ready. - I want to test it!
-试吧 -我也想试
- Yeah, go for it. - Me, too.
好了拿一根面条
All right, grab one piece.
你们能做到
You can do it.
孩子们干嘛呢
Guys. Guys!
爸爸在教我们怎么试意面熟没熟
Daddy's showing us how to test spaghetti.
是吗还有别的方法尝尝看
Really? Well, there's another way to test it-- you can eat it.
-那多无聊 -爸爸为什么那么好玩
- Yeah. - Why is Daddy so fun?
就是为什么为什么
Yeah, why? Why?
我也能很好玩啊
I can be fun.
你不需要变得好玩
You don't need to be fun.
-你很可靠 -好极了
- You're reliable. - Great.
我很可靠
I'm reliable.
已婚第二季第十集
可靠
"Reliable."
被这么形容最糟了
That's the worst thing to be called.
这比C打头那词还糟
That's worse than the "C" Word.
我宁愿被叫那词
I would rather be called the "C" Word.
-始终如一吗 -你真"搞笑"
- Consistent? - You're hilarious.
我本来就很搞笑不信问孩子们
I am hilarious-- ask the kids.
他们当然觉得你比较好玩
Of course they think you're the fun one.
他们没有毁了你
They didn't ruin you.
孩子只会毁了母亲的人生
Kids only destroy their mothers.
指情感还是下面
Emotionally or vaginally?
两者皆有
Both.
说到毁掉下面
Speaking of destroying vaginas...
明天是我俩的大日子
Uh... tomorrow's a big day for us.
没错我们已经
Yeah, we have let
酝酿了很久的激♥情♥
our passion marinate for quite long enough,
现在是时候好好爆发一回了
and now it's time to fire up the grill!
他说的是嘿♥咻♥
He's talking about sex.
我们懂
Yeah, we-we got it.
我订了酒店
I got us a suite at Shutters.
我们准备先吃顿为嘿♥咻♥准备的晚餐
We are going to have a sex-friendly dinner.
不吃前菜不吃粗粮
Mm-hmm. No entrees, no roughage.
不吃辣味热狗不吃匈牙利炖菜
No chilly dog, no goulash.
然后就是春宵一刻值千金了
And then, show time.
我们祝你们好运
Well, we wish you the best.
敬最棒的嘿♥咻♥
To great sex.
没错你值得拥有
Yeah, you deserve it.
我们周日可以一起吃早午餐
You guys should meet us for brunch on Sunday;
到时候我们肯定饿坏了
We'll be famished.
没错我们请客辣味热狗随便吃
Yeah. Chili dogs on us.
不行我们得去比克曼
No, we can't. We're gonna be up at Beekman.
我们要回大学故地重游
We're going back to college.
是的我以前的教授想让我给学生们讲话
Yeah, my old professor wants me to talk to his class.
我还挺想放他鸽子
Yeah, I'm actually thinking of bailing on it.
我该对一帮学生说什么
Like, what do I say to a bunch of students?
不能临场退缩我们去定了
We're not bailing. We're going.
我们还要像97年那样狂欢
And we're gonna party like it's 1997.
97年有什么特别之处
What's 1997?
那时候我还是个有趣的人
That's when I used to be fun.
我还留着大学时候的防狼口哨
Look, I still have my rape whistle from college.
真可爱
Aw, that's cute.
你居然还觉得自己会受色狼青睐
You still think you're rape-able.
你没事吧
Ooh, you all right?
没事
Yeah, I'm fine.
大学不都这样吗
College, right?
你想去喝一杯吗
Hey, do you want to get a drink?
时间还够吗
Do we have time?
我可能得熟悉一下讲稿
I probably should go over my notes.
你为什么这么紧张
Why are you so nervous?
因为我...
'Cause I don't...
如果他们觉得我是个无趣的人怎么办
I mean, what if the kids think I'm, like, a sellout?
他们为什么会这么想
Why would they think that?
因为我看起来就跟无趣的男人一样
Because, look-- I look like "The Man."
你居然觉得自己像个男人真可爱
That's cute that you think you look like a man.
回得好
Touche.
我们回去吧
Should we get out of here?
宝贝不行
Babe, no.
这是件大事
This is a big deal.
你是个全职设计师
You're a working designer.
你要在母校演讲
You're speaking at our college.
这意味着你成功了
This means you're successful.
是吗
It does?
他们又没叫我上台讲话
They're not asking me to speak here.
我有什么可说的呢
What would I say?
这就是怀孕的方法
"Here's how you get pregnant."
好了
All right.
就是这了
This is it.
我们一会再碰头吧
So, maybe we meet up later?
你不想让我听你演讲吗
You don't want me to watch?
我会很捧场每个笑话必定大笑
I'll laugh at all your jokes.
不行我得装作个死板的职业人士
No, I got to be, like, all business in there.
如果你在我就当不成一本正经的拉斯了
I can't be Business Russ if you're sitting there.
-你确定吗 -是的
- Are you sure? - Yes.
我一会去茶水间找你
I will meet you at the Kettle Room afterwards, okay?
然后我们就能像97年那样狂欢了
We'll party like it's 1997.
我该怎么打发接下来两小时的时间
What am I gonna do for the next two hours?
你会想出办法的
You'll figure something out.
学生宿舍旁边是波普楼
So next to the student's dorm is the Pope Building.
这楼有段很有趣的历史
Which actually had a very interesting history.
以前这楼曾经是黄金交易所
It started out as a gold exchange,
勘探者在淘金热的时候会在那贩卖♥♥黄金
where prospectors sold their gold during the rush.
没错
That's right.
抱歉我以前也当过校园导游
Sorry, I used to be a tour guide here.
在我当年在这读书的时候有段时间了
When I went here, a while ago.
我是商科专业的
I was a business major.
虽然一直没学以致用过
Not that I ever use that degree.
-前方的是... -我是位母亲
- Um, up ahead is... - I'm a mom.
但我还有份工作我是个老师
And I have a job. I'm a teacher.
虽然他们管我叫助教
Well, teaching assistant they call it.
这故事不错
Cool story.
前方是多南礼堂这是...
Um, so up ahead is Dornan Hall, which is...
楼顶有个空中花♥园♥
Oh, home of the rooftop garden.
抱歉我不知道这楼上有空中花♥园♥
I'm sorry, I don't know anything about a rooftop garden,
也许当年...
but maybe, uh, that was...
你居然不知道空中花♥园♥
You don't know about the rooftop garden?
不知道
No.
这是什么校园参观啊
What kind of tour is this?
是我带领的校园参观
It's the tour that I'm giving.
左前方的是...
Uh, so up to the left...
我会抓住你的你打不过我
I'm gonna get you. You can't match me.
来了
Here we go!
你在哪呢
Where are you?
那是坏蛋的飞机
There's the bad guy plane!
我找到你了不不不
I-I got you! I got you! Oh, no, no.
-AJ -怎么了
- AJ? - Yeah?
能跟你谈谈吗
Can I talk to you for a sec?
好的我马上回来
Oh, okay, yeah. I'll be right back.
别把我杀死
Don't kill me.
怎么了
What's wrong?
保姆来不了了
The sitter canceled.
太糟糕了备选的人是谁
That's terrible. Who's your backup?
我没有备选的人
I don't have one.