已婚（2014）

Married S02E01

Part 1 March 31, 2021, 12:28 p.m.

你穿成这样要去哪里
Where are you going dressed like that?
去见几个朋友
To meet some friends.
其中一个是日本商人吗
Is one of those friends a Japanese businessman?
你♥爸♥爸的意思是
I think what Daddy means is
你的打扮会让人产生误解
your outfit sends the wrong message.
-没错你穿得和个荡♥妇♥似的 -妈妈
- Yeah, you're dressed like a slut. - Mom!
-拉斯别用"荡♥妇♥"这个词好吧 -怎么了
- Russ, don't say "Slut," okay? - What?
你的意思是"应♥召♥女郎"啊
When you really mean "Escort."
知道吗她是比较高级的那种
You know, she's high end.
就像是能弄到
So, like, the type that gets
健身房♥会员卡和手♥机♥话费的那种吗
her gym membership and cell phone paid for?
或许还能弄到夜校的学费
Maybe even tuition for night school.
已婚第二季第一集
太棒了
Ah, this is nice.
咱们仨上次出来是什么时候了
When was the last time the three of us hung out like this, huh?
你不再喝酒了
Well, you don't drink anymore.
我不用喝酒就能感受到你的不安全感
Well, I don't need booze to enjoy your insecurity.
我该谢谢你吗
Thank you?
这周末让孩子们聚一聚怎么样
What do you say we get the kids together this weekend?
这周末不行我们得去看莉娜的妈妈
Can't this weekend. We're going to see Lina's mom.
珍尼丝怎么样了
How's Janice doing?
她开始有点糊涂了
She's starting to get a little confused.
我跟你们说吧谢普变成老年痴呆
Well, I'll tell you what-- it's only a matter of time
只是时间问题了
till Shep loses his marbles.
-他还没有那么老 -没错
- He's not that old. - Exactly.
谢普的脑细胞比AJ多多了
Shep's got way more brain cells than AJ does.
太对了
Totally.
随便吧
Whatever.
你们是谢普的朋友还是我的朋友
Are you guys Shep's friends or my friends?
-天呐 -我们都不知道还得选择
- Geez. - We didn't know that we needed to make a choice.
怎么了
What's going on?
我们每次去幼儿园
Every time we walk into a preschool,
我都知道那群贱♥人♥们想的什么
I know what these bitches are thinking.
成功男士傻缺花瓶妻子
Oh, successful man, dumb trophy wife.
-太扯了 -对啊你是聪明花瓶妻子
- That's ridiculous. - Yeah, you're a smart trophy wife.
如果选举花瓶妻子的话
If there were a Miss Trophy Wife,
你肯能赢下智力测验的环节
you would definitely win the intelligence portion.
谢谢
Thank you.
你们你们申请哪家幼儿园了
Where, uh, where are you guys applying anyway?
-山坡幼儿园 -山坡幼儿园
- Hillside. - Hillside?!
-是的 -我孩子就是去的那家
- Yeah. - That's where my kid went.
我们很喜欢那里你应该报我的大名
We love it there. You should drop my name.
是的我应该
Yeah, I would.
就好像我真的希望能进去似的
It's just that I would actually like to get in.
这话什么意思
What is that supposed to mean?
没什么
Nothing.
相信我
Trust me.
你还是
You should be...
相信一张餐巾纸吧
trusting a napkin.
这地方太赞了
This place is awesome.
相当远
It's really remote.
我不明白他为什么一直带着她搬家
I don't know why he keeps moving her around.
对她的病情也没好处
It's not gonna help her confusion.
-别这么说 -哪么说
- Don't start. - Start what?
说艾德的坏话
Picking on Ed.
我没有说她新丈夫的坏话
I'm not picking on the new husband.
他们结婚的时间和我们一样长好吧
They've been married as long as we have, okay?
你应该叫他艾德
You should start calling him Ed.
艾德
Ed.
艾德艾德
Ed. Ed.
艾德我也说不好
Ed... I-I don't know.
新丈夫比较好记
New husband's just easier to remember.
这地方真漂亮
This place is beautiful.
我以后退休了也想来这种地方
I'd like to retire in a place like this someday.
只有男人能退休
Retirement's just for men.
才不是呢女人也可以退休
No, it's not-- women retire.
以前是的不过有个混♥蛋♥发明了伟哥
I mean, they used to, but then some asshole invented Viagra,
所以现在退不了了
and now it's never over.
我不想你退休
Well, I don't want it to be over.
我知道亲爱的
I know, sweetie.
我知道
I know.
你们来了
You made it.
天哪快来抱抱
Oh, my God! Give me a hug.
你们好
Hey there.
老妈
Mom, hi.
我好想你
Oh, I missed you.
天哪真香啊
Oh, my God, it smells so good in here.
你们在做饭吗
Are you cooking?
-我们今晚要出去吃 -真有意思
- We're going out for dinner tonight. - Oh, very funny.
感恩节的时候哪家餐厅开门中餐馆吗
What restaurant is open Thanksgiving? Chinese?
别傻了
Don't be silly.
可是妈妈今天没有...
But, Mom, it's not...
感恩节那么冷我知道
Cold enough to be Thanksgiving, I know.
天气太诡异了是吧
This weather's crazy, isn't it?
你了解我我喜欢过节
You know me, I love the holidays.
听我说我跟她说你们今天要来
Listen, when I told her you were coming today,
她有些糊涂
she got confused.
她以为今天是感恩节
She thought it was Thanksgiving.
你跟她说了今天不是吗
Did you tell her it wasn't?
说了结果把她惹生气了
I did-- just made her angry.
天哪
Oh, my God.
我们该怎么办
What are we gonna do?
享受节日吧
I think we enjoy the holiday.
火鸡味道很不错珍尼丝
Turkey smells great, Janice.
这是索伊老师的班级
And this is Mrs. Sawyer's classroom.
索伊老师
Oh, Mrs. Sawyer.
哈里森一定会喜欢这里的
Harrison's gonna love it here.
他才三岁有果汁的地方他都喜欢
He's three, he'll love it anywhere they have juice.
你能不能...
Can you just...
哈里森有什么兄弟姐妹吗
So does Harrison have any siblings?
我有个十五岁的儿子
I-I have a 15-year-old son.
是的不过我是他第一任妻子
Yes, but I'm the first wife.
也是他唯一的妻子
I'm the only wife.
而且我是康奈尔大学毕业的
And I went to Cornell.
-她... -所以你懂得
- She... - So, you know...
-不需要知道这个 -我不是傻缺
- doesn't need to know... - I'm not dumb.
好吧
Okay.
我跟没跟你说哈里森已经能用
Did I mention that Harrison can already count
西班牙语数到十三了
to trece en Espanol?
太厉害了
That's amazing.
厉害的是我们的保姆是波兰人
What's amazing is our nanny's actually Polish.
所以我们非常自豪
So we're very proud.
每个孩子都适合山坡幼儿园
Listen, every child is right for Hillside,
但是不是每位父母都适合山坡幼儿园
but not every parent is right for Hillside.
好吧那就这样吧
Okay, that takes care of that.
听我说
Look.
今天晚上有一个参观活动
There's an open house here tonight.
可以见见别的父母校友互相认识一下
It's a chance to meet parents, alums, make some connections.
好的我们会来的
Yeah, we'll be there.
-太好了 -太好了
- Great. - Great.
因为我们很重视这里的小团体
Because we really do care about our little community here.
你们不认识山坡幼儿园中的任何家庭对吧
You don't know anyone in the Hillside family, do you?
一个人都不认识
Not a soul.
你不是说AJ家的孩子也在这吗
I thought you said AJ's kid went here.
是的我知道我在干什么
Yeah. I know what I'm doing.
-好吧那我就闭嘴了 -好的
- Okay, I'll just shut up. - Okay.
我才是养过孩子的人
I'm the one who already raised a kid,
可这又算什么呢
but why should that matter?
-我还是闭嘴吧 -是的闭嘴
- I'll just shut up. - Yeah, do so.
我知道她已经开始忘事了
I knew she was starting to forget stuff,