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第四章 对汤姆和萨拉来说
Chapter Four: For Tom and Sarah,
弟弟非常有钱这件事 很复杂
having a rich brother was complicated.
一方面 康纳的财富
On the one hand, Connor's wealth
让他们感觉自己是很失败的哥哥姐姐
made them feel like the failures of the family.
另一方面来说 康纳又给了他们很多
On the other hand, he was a great source
二手东西 比如玩具
of hand-me-downs: toys,
孩子的衣服 甚至
children's clothing, and even...
只用过六个月的笔记本
A six-month-old laptop,
如果说要给谁的话 也应该是我
I mean, if anyone should get it, it's me.
我工作需要
I need it for my job.
我和丹妮斯共用的电脑
Denise and I share a computer
都要把腿压断了
that burns our thighs.
不过当然了 还是送给"大作家"吧
But yeah, sure, give it to the "writer."
为什么"大作家"总要加双引号♥
Why is "writer" always in quotes?
而且我的电脑一直死机
Besides, my computer keeps crashing.
今天早上我弄丢了一整章内容呢
I lost an entire chapter this morning.
我们的笔记本电脑沉到没法放在腿上
Our laptop can't be on a lap, Tom!
爸妈不是准备给你弄个新的吗
Weren't Mom and Dad gonna get you a new one?
是哦 比起真的过来做客
Yeah, they'd rather buy things for their kids
他们宁愿给孩子买♥♥东西
than actually come and visit.
是啊 挺奇怪的 明明开车两小时就能到
Yeah, that's weird. They're only two hours away.
我还以为会经常有机会三代同堂呢
Think we'd get more grandparent time.
是啊
Yeah.
妈
Mom?
爸
Dad?
这不是你们以为的那样啊
It's not what it looks like.
这不就是你们去康纳家做客但不来我们家吗
It looks like you're visiting Connor and not us.
你为什么说这不是你们以为的那样啊
Why'd you say it wasn't what it looked like?
这不就是他们以为的那样
It's exactly what it looks like.
我赞同 这太扯淡了
I agree. This is ridiculous.
一个婴儿恒温箱 凭什么那么贵
It's an incubator. It's not worth those numbers.
你们大老远从萨克拉门托开车来
You drove all the way in from Sacramento
都不来看看我们
and didn't even offer to visit?
我给你们录音留言了
I left you a voicemail.
妈 你的录音留言就是你的手♥机♥在包里
Mom, your voicemails are just three minutes
三分钟的摩擦声
of rustling in your purse.
我真不敢相信你们
I can't believe you guys
这么偏心
are playing favorites like this.
你们好多年没去我和萨拉家
You haven't visited Sarah's place
做客了
or my place in ages.
对啊 而且对你们来说
Yeah, and it's so important for you
现在多陪陪孩子很重要
to spend time with the kids right now.
尤其是去年那事之后
I mean, especially after last year.
承认吧 你们就是喜欢
Admit it, you just love hanging out
豪♥宅♥
in this gigantic house.
对你们来说跟度假似的
It's like a vacation for you guys.
这么说太不公平了
That's not fair.
刚做好的含羞草鸡尾酒
Fresh mimosa?
太谢谢你了 卢佩
Oh! Gracias, Lupe.
不客气
De nada.
我们不是偏心
Look, we're not playing favorites.
我从来没有特别考虑过这个房♥子的大小
I've never once thought about the size of this house
或者这能让人
or this--this spectacular view
忘记一切忧虑的美景
that helps you forget all your cares.
我们来照顾格雷琴只是因为
The only reason we're babysitting Gretchen
康纳超级忙
is because Connor is extra busy.
他要买♥♥恒温室
He's buying an incubator.
妈 你知道那是什么东西吗
Mom, do you even know what that is?
孵蛋用的吧
Something with eggs.
谁想喝含羞草鸡尾酒
All right, who needs a mimosa?
汤姆 萨拉 含羞草鸡尾酒
Tom, Sarah, mimose?
康纳 爸妈多久来你这里一次
Connor, how often have they been visiting you?
今天绝对是第一次
Definitely not before today.
马歇尔 这是你上周给我洗的裤子
Marshall, these are your pants from last week.
把巧克力洗干净了
Got the chocolate out.
谢谢你 卢佩 完美
Thank you, Lupe. Perfect.
她上周做了甘纳许巧克力
She made a ganache. It's this...
就是把巧克力加入
It's just whipped filling of chocolate and--
谢谢你科普啊 爸
Thanks for the info, Dad.
我知道康纳还在适应新生活
I know that Connor is going through an adjustment,
但这样不公平
but this is not fair.
我们的孩子也想有爷爷奶奶陪啊
Our kids wanna see their grandparents too.
各位 格雷琴
Guys, Gretchen needs
现在需要特殊照顾 明白吗
extra attention right now, okay?
要是你们也想多让爷爷奶奶陪娃
If you want more grandparent time,
要不你们也跟老婆离个婚
maybe you should divorce your wives too.
超级有帮助呢 真是好建议
Super helpful. Great advice.
谢谢您啊
Thank you.
但你们就像是度假
But you take them on vacation.
你小时候的卧室简直是圣地一样
Your childhood bedroom is basically a shrine.
承认吧 爸妈一直偏心你
Let's face it, you've always been the favorite.
这不是扯淡呢 你说是不是扯淡
That's not true. Is that true?
确实是扯淡
No. Not true.
我们是轮流疼爱你们的
It shifts around.
你还说偏心呢
You wanna talk favorites?
记不记得那次为了你的辩论俱乐部
How about when they missed my wrestling match
他们没去看我摔跤比赛
for your debate club?
什么辩论
I wasn't in debate.
书呆子才辩论
That's for nerds.
我去的是学术知识小竞赛
It was the academic quiz bowl.
还有萨拉 你17岁那年
And Sarah, how about when you were 17,
爸妈让你去科罗拉多度假
and they let you go on that vacation to Colorado?
你是说我去治疗住院焦虑那次是吧
You mean my inpatient anxiety treatment?
你不是说她去滑雪了
You told me she was snowboarding.
我怕你担心啊
I didn't want you to worry.
当时又小又可爱
You were so young and adorable.
记不记得他以前总是说箭刀
Hey, remember how he used to say "skissors"?
石头箭刀布
"Rock paper skissors!"
别闹了别闹啦
Stop! Stop!
啊 对不起 你们不高兴了
Aww, sorry, you two are upset.
那就平衡一下嘛
Look, let's balance the scales, all right?
我们现在就去你们家
Let's go to your places right now.
玩他一整天 好吗
We'll make a day of it, right?
真的吗 卡米拉肯会定很高兴的
Really? Yeah, Camila would love that.
完美 大家都有爷爷奶奶陪
Perfect! Grandparent time for all!
好 很好
Okay. Great.
你可以接受吗 箭刀
You okay with this, skissors?
不太高兴不过 行吧
I mean, no, but fine.
妈妈归我 没问题
I get Mom. Sure.
爸妈 你们介意分开一下不
Okay, Mom, Dad, do you guys mind splitting up?
啊 这个
-Oh -Well, well...
我们的感情是有过起伏 但是我们
We've had our ups and downs, but I mean, we--
但是到了一定年龄
You get to a certain age,
就会决定这样过下去的
and then you just decide to stick with it.
各位 我不是这个意思
Guys, that's not what I'm--
什么 爷爷奶奶也要离婚吗
Wait, Gramma and Grandpa are divorcing too?
不是的 不 亲爱的
No, no. No, sweetie.
回头孩子看心理医生你付钱啊
I'm sending you the therapy bill.
好吧 还有 笔记本归你了
Yeah. And you get the laptop.
爽 妈蛋
Yes! Oh, damn it.
《时间的皱纹》
"A Wrinkle in Time"?
《哈利波特》
"Harry Potter"!
她来了多不错啊
It's so great having her here, right?
绝对的 不过是暂时的
Totally. For now.
什么意思
What do you mean?
孩子们多爱她啊 有奶奶在不好吗
The kids love her. It's grandma time!
我担心的不是孩子
It's not the kids I'm worried about.
你和你妈只有90分钟的时间
You and your mom have a 90-minute window.
这90分钟会很愉快
You get along great for 90 minutes,
过了之后呢 你们就开始吵架斗气
and then you start to argue and get on each other's nerves.
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