家庭指南（2014）

我瞎了都能考上法
I went to law school bli...
你行你上吧
Just take the bike.
问个问题 Instagram
Quick question: Instagram,
我应该去尝试一下吗
is that something I should be doing?
事实上 这里面没有一个是你该去做的
Actually, none of this is something you should be doing...
烟斗 水胸罩 我的牛仔裤
the pipe, the water bra, my jeans.
你已经年轻过了
You already had your chance to be a teenager.
哦 我可不这么觉得
Oh, I kind of didn't.
以防你没算过
In case you haven't done the math,
我在很年轻的时候就怀上你了
I was very young when I had you.
意外 我懂的
Accident. Message received.
我从女儿变成了妻子
I went from being someone's daughter to being someone's wife
再变成了母亲
to being someone's mother.
好吧 我们别谈这个了
Well, while we're putting things out there,
我可不想当我妈妈的妈妈
I would rather not be my mother's mother.
我们有可能做到这个吗
Any chance we can make that happen?
埃尔维斯
Elvis!
- 埃尔维斯 - 往右点
- Elvis! - A little right,
往右点 注意 注意
a little right. Look out! Look out!
- 详细点 - 危险区
- Be more specific. - Danger zone!
停车
Stop the bike!
干得不错
Oh. Good call.
是
Yeah.
我觉得我该打个电♥话♥给导盲犬基地
I guess I'll just call the guide dog foundation
告诉他们发生了什么
and tell them what happened.
嘿 我不可能是第一个把狗丢了的盲人 对吧
Hey, I can't be the first blind guy to lose a dog, right?
亨利 你看见我的电♥话♥了吗
Henry, do you see my phone?
哦 这里
Oh, here.
- 这 老爸 - 谢了 哥们
- Here, dad. - Thanks, buddy.
- 太奇怪了 - 有什么奇怪的
- That's weird. - What's weird?
埃尔维斯啥都没吃就跑了
Elvis left without eating any of his food.
天 要是我也能这么自律就好了
God, I wish I had that kind of discipline.
马修·霍洛维兹的办公室
Matthew Horowitz's office, please.
食品储藏室
The pantry.
伙计
Buddy!
嘿 大伙安静点 我在打电♥话♥
Hey, guys, keep it down. I'm on the phone.
霍洛维兹先生 我知道这事很难说出口
Yeah, Mr. Horowitz, there's no easy way to tell you this.
爸 亨利找到埃尔维斯了
Dad, Henry found Elvis.
谢谢你那超棒的导盲犬
Thanks for the great guide dog.
继续努力 回聊
Keep up the good work. Let's talk soon.
好样的 伙计 没有依据的自我推测
Well done, pal. Consider yourself ungrounded.
好耶
Sweet.
好了 梅尔
Okay, Mel,
我知道你干了什么
I know what you did.
我不懂你在说什么
I have no idea what you're talking about.
你把埃尔维斯关到了食品储藏室里
You put Elvis in the pantry.
有点像你在第一次约会时干的事情
Kind of like what you did on our first date.
在约会前一天带着你兄弟去了博物馆
Taking your brother to the museum the day before
然后记住了所有的画
and memorizing all those paintings.
好吧 那个把戏让我有了第二次约会
Yeah, well, that trick got me a second date.
我们在第二次约会得到了凯蒂
That second date got us Katie.
你说过亨利需要存在感
You said Henry needed to be needed.
你觉得两个离婚的人能守住这个秘密吗
You think two divorced people can keep a little secret?
凯蒂在一年之后才告诉我老爸干了什么
Katie only told me what dad did years later.
就像我说的 他从不撒谎
Like I said, he never lied,
不过他的确把我们耍得团团转
but he did trick us a lot.
嘿 看看我找到了什么
Hey. Look who I found.
该死 走吧
Damn it! Come on.
当人们说这是盲人引导狗 他们错了
When people say "Seeing-eye dog," They're wrong.
狗不帮你看东西
The dog doesn't see for you.
它在正确的道路上
It guides you safely
安全得引导着你
in the direction you're supposed to be heading.
当初我觉得埃尔维斯破坏了我们的家庭
While at first I thought Elvis was breaking our family up,
结果这个大毛孩
it turns out that big ball of fur
让我们真的更加亲近了
was really bringing us closer together.
离婚让我们终于发现
The divorce would allow all of us to finally discover
我们需要成为的人
who we needed to be.
对于老妈 这会花上比任何人
For mom, it would take a lot longer
预计的还要长的时间
than anyone would have ever expected.
- 对于老爸 - 这儿 投远点
- For dad... - Here! Long!
这会是一段奇妙旅程的开始
This would be the beginning of an amazing journey.
接到了
Shotgun pass!
就像他带着导盲犬
As hard as it was for him to get a guide dog
向世界承认他是盲人那么困难
and admit to the world that he was blind,
更重要的是他要当个好父亲
it was even more important for him to be a good father.
- 埃尔维斯 - 好孩子
- Elvis! - Good boy.
嘿 伙计 我有东西要给你
Hey, buddy, I got you something.
在那时 我也许会因为发生的事情
At the time, I would have changed just about everything
而改变自己
that was happening.
这不是我的公♥寓♥
This is not my apartment.
这是我们的公♥寓♥
This is our apartment.
但回首过去
But looking back...
我什么都没能改变
I wouldn't change a thing.
亨利 我们走了
Henry, let's go!
要是过得不如意 抓条金鱼
If it gets bad, grab the goldfish
然后去Schumakers
and go to the Schumakers'.
- 爱你 - 爱你
- Love you. - Love you.
那天我学到了我该学到的
That day I learned something that I would have to learn
一次又一次
over and over again...
嘿 导盲犬跑出来了
Hey, guide dog out here.
有时人生的艰难时刻
That sometimes the tough moments in life
经常会成为你通往难以想象的
often make way for greater things
美好事情的道路
than you could possibly imagine.
你住在这吗
Do you live here?
我想是的
Yeah. I guess I do.
你很幸运你♥爸♥是盲人
You're lucky your dad's blind.
他们不让我们在这里养狗
They don't let us have dogs in the building.
我妈抽烟斗
My mom smokes a pipe.
什么
What?
我只是想让你知道一切
I just want you to know everything.
哦 我叫珍妮
Oh. I'm Jenny.
哦 我叫
Oh, I'm...
宝贝 开饭啦
Sweetie, dinner.
回见
See you around.
是吧
Right?