纪录进行时（2015）

Home going away.
家离我而去了
Father's moving out,
父亲也搬走了
and suddenly, I'm back in that summer
突然间 我又回到了在罗德岛
in Foster-Glocester, Rhode Island,
福格街区度过的那个夏天
when my father sat us on the wicker furniture on the front porch
我父亲让我们坐在前廊的藤条椅上
and told us
他告诉我们
he was going to live somewhere else
他要和另一个女人
with another woman,
去别的地方生活了
and that Mother and Father would not be together anymore.
他和妈妈不会在一起了
He was 30 when his parents got divorced.
他父母离婚的时候他已经30岁了
And I want my mother and father to be together,
我不想让妈妈和爸爸分开
and--and my brother, Chipper, he takes me by the hand
我哥哥Chipper 他牵着我的手
and--and--and we leave the house
我们离开了家
and we head to the-- the Foster Fair,
去了收养大会
a big summer fair with a Tilt-A-Whirl and cotton candy
那是一个有旋转椅和棉花糖的夏日集♥会♥
and-- and tears are stinging my cheeks
泪水刺痛了我的脸颊
and I hear the hot dog vendor.
我听到热狗摊主的声音
The hot dog vendor, he's yelling,
热狗摊主在喊
"Hot dogs! Hot dogs!"
"热狗 热狗"
And Chipper's telling me everything's gonna be okay.
Chipper告诉我一切都会好起来的
"Parker, don't you worry."
"Parker 别担心"
And "Hot dogs! Hot dogs!"
"热狗 热狗"
"Don't worry," Chipper says.
"别担心" Chipper说
"It'll be like having two homes."
"这就好像我们有了两个家"
"Hot dogs! Hot dogs!"
"热狗 热狗"
"Hot dogs!"
"热狗"
Ahh! Ahh!
啊 啊
Ahh!
啊
And even though we were never allowed food between meals,
尽管父母不让我们在两餐之间吃东西
my brother bought me two frankfurters.
我哥哥还是给我买♥♥了两根烟熏腊肠
With mustard.
加了黄芥酱
And, uh, I ate them up.
我都吃光了
I ate them up.
都吃光了
I guzzled up a cream soda
我还灌了一瓶汽水
and oh, I'm in bliss.
哦 如同置身天堂
And then I realize that-- the table is wobbling!
然后我意识到 这桌子在摇
The table is wobbling! This is very distracting!
这桌子在摇 这非常烦人
This is not part of the monologue.
这不是表演的一部分
This is a real problem for me.
这给我造成了很大的困扰
Guys?
有人吗
Someone come in here and fix the table
来个人修好这桌子
or I won't be able to concentrate on my monologue
不然我没法儿专心于表演独白
or be able to free-associate
也没法儿脑补
or recall the time I made oral love to my Russian roommate.
更没法儿回忆我给俄♥罗♥斯♥室友口♥交♥的事
And the table is fixed,
桌子修好了
order's restored,
一切重回正轨
and I can now move on with the monologue.
现在我可以继续我的独白
Actually, too much water.
呃 刚刚喝太多水了
I have to go to the bathroom.
我去趟厕所
I need to go to the bathroom.
我要去趟厕所
We have to move.
我们必须搬走了
Ramona wanted to move to one of these elevator buildings
Ramona想要住电梯房♥
with the green awnings.
带绿色遮阳棚的那种
You know, the kind that always have a neo-Greek name
就是那种总有一个新希腊式名字的楼♥盘♥
like "The Promethean"?
比如"普罗米修斯之地"
But where to move?
但是要搬哪儿呢
York Avenue?
约克大道
First Avenue?
第一大道
Second Avenue?
第二大道
Third Avenue?
第三大道
Park?
中♥央♥公园
Madison? Fifth Avenue?
麦迪逊 还是第五大道
Avenue of the Americas?
美洲大道
Broadway?
百老汇
And... I'm overwhelmed by this.
还是 啊选择太多了
I'm overwhelmed.
我要被淹没了
I have to--I have to-- I have to get out.
我必须 必须 必须出去
I have to move. I have to--
我必须搬走 我必须
I have to ground myself.
我必须稳定下来
So I go to the park and I begin to practice tai chi.
所以我去了公园 开始练习太极
I'm focusing on my breath.
我正专注于我的呼吸
The fluid movement while I do the water sign.
专注于招式的流畅动作
And a little boy, he-- comes up to me.
然后一个小男孩走过来
And he says,
他说
"What are you doing, mister?"
"先生 你在做什么"
I'm practicing tai chi.
我在练太极
"Is that like fighting, mister?"
"就像打架一样吗 先生"
It's sort of like fighting,
有点像打架
but it's, uh, fighting yourself;
但这是与内心的自己打架
fighting your own inner voice.
与内里的声音争辩
"Inner voice? You mean, like--
"内里的声音 你指的是
like--like a Walkman with stereo headphones?"
有立体声耳机的随身听一样吗"
I say, "No, it's a moving meditation."
我回道 "不 这是一种移♥动♥式的冥想"
"Wow, mister.
"哇哦 先生
T-they don't teach that in the fifth grade."
这在五年级可学不到"
They sure don't.
当然学不到
And he walked away, rolling a tire.
然后他滚着一个轮胎走开了
Um, yeah, dude,
额 老兄
I'm not in fifth grade.
我上的不是五年级
I'm in high school.
我在上高中
I've had, like, full sex.
我可是做过爱的
And I-I don't call people "Mister"
以及我才不管人家叫"先生"
'cause I'm not an idiot from some black-and-white movie.
因为只有黑白电影里的傻帽才这么叫
So me, Robbie, and AJ were skateboarding
当时我 Robbie和AJ在台阶附近
near the public stairs
玩滑板
and then there's this old lady-looking dork-ass
然后有个老太婆样的蠢蛋
standing there doing slow karate.
站在那儿打慢动作的空手道
And we're like, "Move."
然后我们喊 "快走开"
And he's like, "This is tai chi."
他说 "这是太极"
And we're like, "No one gives a shit."
我们又喊 "谁他妈在乎"
So he--he was eating his lunch in this Tupperware.
他从特百惠保鲜盒里拿出午餐来吃
He said it was his special meal.
他说这是他的特别午餐
And so we took it and just, like, chucked it at this statue.
所以我们抢过来 砸到一座雕塑上
So--so that's how that went down.
这就是事情经过
So Ramona and I checked the real estate listings
所以Ramona和我看了看♥房♥♥产列表
and there are five apartments we want to see.
其中有五间公♥寓♥我们想去看看
The-- No.
额 不
This is something else.
这不是我要讲的
Five apartments we want to see.
我们想去看这五间
One, two, three, four, five.
一 二 三 四 五
Now, I have to meet Ramona, but first,
现在 在和Ramona见面之前
I want to see my analyst.
我想先去见我的心理医生
You know, I d-- I don't feel centered, you know.
我感觉自己注意力不是很集中
I'm about to face these-- these new apartments
我即将面对这些 这些新公♥寓♥
and I--I can't make any kind of rational decision
而我不能做出任何理性决定
with this monkey-mind thinking in my brain, and um...
脑子里就像有猴子跳来跳去一样
my analyst, you know, he's one of these great
我的心理医生 他是那种
elderly Freudian types, you know.
老旧的弗洛伊德派
He has a very authoritative manner and he says, uh,
他看起来一本正经 十分权威 他说 呃
moving isn't your problem
搬家不是你的问题
because wherever you go,
因为不管你搬到哪儿去
your brain will follow."
你的大脑都会跟着你"
I'm not a psychiatrist.
我不是心理医生
I work at a walk-in clinic.
我在一个免预约诊所工作
Parker came in for a flu shot like nine years ago
Parker大约九年前来打流感疫苗
and now he shows up once a week.
现在他差不多每周来一次
We normally have him lie down and let him use the bathroom.
我们一般让他躺下 让他用下厕所
Now, I have meet to Ramona, so I wandered down the subway
现在我要去见Ramona 所以我溜达下地铁
and I'm descending the stairs like I'm going into a great womb
当我走下楼梯 感觉就像走入了神圣的子♥宫♥
and--and I'm back in the womb and I discover I have no tokens.
我回到了子♥宫♥ 然后发现我没有零钱