展会明星（2015）

Con Man S01E04

Part 1 March 10, 2021, 4:52 p.m.

Meanwhile, on Con Man...
"展会明星"进行时
Die, human! Jerry!
去死吧人类 Jerry
Hey, buddy!
嘿兄弟
I have an audition for Clint Eastwood!
我要去试镜克林特·伊斯特伍德的电影
Maybe put in a good word for me?
也许你能帮我美言几句
All famous people don't know all other famous people, Wray.
不是所有名人都互相认识 Wray
But yeah, I know him. He uh...
不过我确实认识他他
Borrowed my lawnmower. He owes me a favor.
借走了我的割草机他欠我个人情
Are you guys going to make a...
你们有打算拍一部
"Spectrum" Movie?
<荧光谱>电影吗
God, I hope not.
天呐但愿别拍
You don't like scifi? I hate scifi.
你不喜欢科幻吗我讨厌科幻
Everybody on the dance floor!
所有人都跳起来
They...
他们
Are retarding... art.
正在妨碍艺术
Retarding it all up.
全都给妨碍了
Oh man.
疼死了
Seriously?
什么情况
What?
什么
What...
什么
Come on!
拜托
Come on!
拜托
Come on!
拜托
Is one of those coffees for me?
这两杯里有给我的吗
Yes.
当然
Come in.
进来吧
Did I record my audition last night?
我昨晚是把试镜录了吗
I got an e-mail from the casting director.
我收到一封选角导演的电子邮件
"Thank you, great choices,
"谢谢很好的选择
I'll definitely send this on to Clint."
我一定会发给克林特看的"
I don't know. I went to bed!
我不知道我去睡了
My memory stops at the platinum party.
白金会员派对后我都不记得了
What the hell happened last night?
昨晚到底发生了什么
I got laid.
我得到了性福
Oh, my god...
天呐
Oh, no! No!
哦不不
Do you want a towel?
你需要毛巾吗
No.
不用
You leave your towel on.
你好好裹着你的浴巾
Did I... did we...
我是不是我们是不是
Did I...
是我吗
I did.
是我
That is disgusting.
真恶心
Thank god, that's disgusting.
谢天谢地真恶心
Thank god, that is disgusting!
谢天谢地恶心死了
Did we record my audition last night?
我们昨晚是不是录了试镜
Mmh, ah, yeah. Think we did that. Yeah.
是的确实录了没错
Please...
拜托
Tell me it was good.
告诉我演得不错
I... don't remember.
我不记得了
Oh, my god. It works! Holy shit!
天呐还能用我♥操♥
After you passed out...
在你醉倒之后
Burnsie and I recorded some...
"小浪"和我录了点
Other things.
其他的东西
Benefits of a strong core, right there.
核心力量强的好处就这儿
Prepared for you true humans..
为你们人类专门准备的
Okay, well...
好吧那么
I have a panel. Burnsie...
我还要参加座谈会 "小浪"
It was magical.
如梦如幻啊
Don't get clingy.
别变得粘人了
Yeah... I got it, I got it.
嗯我知道我知道
Oh, your panel is right after his, so... Yeah.
哦你的座谈会在他之后嗯
Yeah, why don't I meet you backstage in about an hour, okay?
一个小时后在后台见怎么样
Oh! You can keep my underwear.
哦你可以留着我的内♥裤♥
Oh, no...
哦不
No, no, no.
不不不
Andy Serkis and I are very,
安迪·瑟金斯和我是非常
very different perf cap actors, you see.
非常不同的动作捕捉演员
In the "Watchmen", for instance...
打个比方在<守望者>中
I performed...
我扮演
As Dr. Manhattan's penis.
曼哈顿博士的阴♥茎♥
Without me, it was just a...
没有我的话那只是个
Dangling blue distraction, right? Right.
蓝色的晃来晃去的让人分心的东西对吧对吧
I breathed life into that penis.
我为那根阴♥茎♥注入了生命力
I gave it mood, expression...
我赋予了它情绪表情
Foreskin.
包皮
My father's nipples...
我老爸的乳♥头♥
Was a... Jack.
是一个 Jack
Hey, buddy, could you give me a call
嘿兄弟你听到这条消息的时候
whenever you get this message?
给我回个电♥话♥好吗
It's about that Clint Eastwood thing.
就是克林特·伊斯特伍德那事
Also...
还有
Jerry fucked Bobbie.
Jerry睡了Bobbie
Oh, my god.
我的天呐
Call me.
打给我
Note the right side...
主意右边
It was his right nipple would...
他右边的乳♥头♥会
would harden.
会变硬
And he drank so profusely
而且他喝得如此豪爽
that... that nipple you could hang a wet leather jacket on it.
你可以在那个乳♥头♥上挂一件湿的皮夹克
It was always out, like for about 3 inches.
乳♥头♥一直凸出来大概三英寸
How do you feel?
你感觉如何
How did you...
你是怎么
I feel shitty.
我感觉糟透了
That Eastwood audition...
为伊斯特伍德电影的试镜
It matters.
真的很重要
Okay, well...
好吧然而
The fans matter.
粉丝也很重要
And they love you.
而且他们爱你
That is a perfect cure for a hangover.
这是治宿醉的好办法
I'm 43.
我四十三岁了
I mean I know I don't look it, but uh...
我知道我看起来不像但是
Every missed chance...
每一个错失掉的机会
Feels like a last chance.
感觉都是最后的机会
Alright?
懂吗
You know what doesn't matter? Is sci-fi acting.
你知道什么不重要吗科幻片的表演
Sci-fi acting doesn't matter.
科幻片的表演不重要
You're never gonna win an award for it.
你永远不可能因此获奖
No idea as to matter how good you are.
也就无从得知你有多好
Even Spectrum...
就连<荧光谱>
Lasted half a season.
也只撑了半季
It doesn't have worth.
它没有价值
Who likes Jesus?
谁喜欢耶稣
I have a theory that...
我有一个理论
He wasn't crucified, I think...
他不是被十字架钉死的我认为
Vikings killed Jesus Christ. Thank you. Thank you very much.
是维京海盗杀了耶稣基♥督♥ 谢谢非常感谢
Now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Jerry Lansing!
女士们先生们让我们感谢Jerry Lansing先生
Thank you!
谢谢
Yes, the best mocap man you'll never see in the movies.
你们在电影里见不到的最好的动作捕捉演员
And next we have for you
接下来出场的是
Your favorite and mine...
我们大家最爱的
Good crowd. "Spectrum" bone,
很好的观众 <荧光谱>主演
Wray Nerely!
Wray Nerely
Thank you.
谢谢
Sounds like some of you are as hung over as me.
听起来某些人和我一样在宿醉中
Okay, can we...
可不可以
Can... Can we...
可不可以
Little bit more, come on!
多一些掌声好吗
Come on, come on. Let's...
来吧活跃起来
Thank you.
谢谢