天呐，太棒了（2019）

不信之人 淫乱之人
他们的报应在燃烧着的硫磺湖中 即第二次死亡
《启示录》第21章第8节
凉拌色拉
名词
用调味汁调拌各色蔬菜制成的沙拉
拌沙拉
动词
一种涉及嘴和屁♥股♥的性行为
禁欲 选择等待
我们反对堕胎
2001届的同学们 和学长们一起编写年鉴
马克 你腰上没系腰带
Mark, I see belt loops and no belt.
不行
No.
奥唐奈小姐
Miss O'Donnell.
跟我猜的一样
Just as I suspected:
裙边距离膝盖超过了六厘米
over two-and-a-half inches above the knee.
马上去教务处
Dean's Office. Now!
-早上好 维达老师 -艾丽斯
- Morning, Mrs. Veda. - Alice.
两点学校要举♥行♥弥撒
School mass today at 2:00.
天主教弥撒中 把礼品送上祭台的信友
你再当一次献礼者如何
Why don't you be gift bearer again?
好的
Sure.
是这样的 男士就像微波炉
OK, it's like this, guys are like microwave ovens.
女士就像烤箱
And ladies are like conventional ovens.
男士像微波炉一样只需要几秒钟
Guys only need a few seconds, you know, like a microwave,
性行为
男人 女人
就能进入状态
to get... switched on.
而女士通常需要
While ladies, they typically need to...
预热一阵
preheat for a while.
但是上帝给性创造了界限
But God created sex with boundaries
与目的
and for a purpose.
有人想试着谈一下性行为的界限吗
Does anyone wanna take a stab at what the boundary is?
好 韦德
Yes, Wade?
-婚姻 -非常好
- Marriage. - Very good.
有人知道性行为的目的吗
And does anybody know the purpose?
-为了生孩子 -完全正确
- To have children. - Perfecto.
当一名男子和一名女子步入婚姻的圣堂
When a man and a woman receive the sacrament of matrimony,
上帝便号♥召他们以祂的形象哺育孩子
God calls on them to create children in his image.
任何脱出一男一女与一场婚姻框架的性行为
Any sex outside of one man, one woman, one marriage
都是违反上帝的旨意
is against God's plan.
那自己进行的性行为怎么算
What about sex with yourself?
自己进行的性行为能生孩子吗
Can you create children from sex with yourself?
-不能 -对 所以呢
- No. - Right, so?
-那是违反上帝的旨意 -很对
- It's against God's plan. - Exactly.
圣经上说的"播撒你的种子"是这个意思吗
So, is that what the Bible means by "spilling your seed"?
撒在自己手上算数吗
Is it spilling if you catch it?
好了 好了
All right, all right.
上帝号♥召我们在婚前保持贞洁
We are called on to be chaste until we are married.
也就是不发生性行为 无论是你自己还是和别人
And that means no sex... with yourself or anyone else...
直到你站在圣坛前说出"我愿意"为止
until you stand at that altar and you say "I do"
否则你就会永劫不复
or else it is damnation for all eternity.
并且记住
And remember...
上帝始终注视着你
God is always watching.
明白吗
Capiche?
他们给我们发了"宝宝三思"的仿真娃娃
They gave us Baby Think-It-Over in Christian Lifestyles.
我根本不想做♥爱♥
I'm not even having sex,
他们应该给那些不检点的女生
they should just give them to the slutty girls.
你们是不是还得看半生产堕胎的视频
Oh, have you had to watch the partial-birth abortion video yet?
-真的很可怕 -不不
- It's really awful. - No, no!
别跟我剧透
Don't ruin it for me.
道德课如何
How was Morality?
还行
It was fine.
你知道自♥慰♥也是罪过吗
Did you know that masturbating is a sin?
当然是 怎么了
Of course. Why?
我只是想问问
I was just wondering.
让我把《泰坦尼克号♥》倒带到车上那段戏两次
Making me rewind Titanic back to the car scene twice
可能也是一种罪过
is probably also a sin,
先告诉你 以防你也想知道这个
just in case you were wondering that next.
我让你倒带只是因为
Look, I only asked you to do that
我听不清里奥说"小姐去哪"之后
because I couldn't hear what Kate whispered to Leo
凯特轻声说了什么
when he said, "Where to, Miss?"
而接下来他们就开始亲热
Which just happens to be right before they make out
并摇上了车窗 凯特还一掌撑了上去
and steam up that car window that Kate slaps her hand on.
剧本又不是我写的
I didn't write it!
你好 格斯
Hi, Gus.
坐下 格斯
Sit, Gus.
坐下
Sit.
欢迎
Welcome!
美国在线聊天室列表
游戏 字母重组8号♥
好 开始吧
OK. Here we go!
汉贼22现在是主持人
汉贼22 分类 电影
基♥督♥狂 我喜欢这个分类
凯伦90210 我特别擅长电影
汉贼22 第一回合
汉贼22 三
汉贼22 二
汉贼22 一
汉贼22 传阿正甘
凯伦90210 《阿甘正传》
见鬼
Damn it!
《泰坦尼克号♥》
Titanic!
太棒了
Yes!
你收到了一封邮件
You've got mail.
未读邮件
毛胸1956@aol.com
我在聊天室注意到了你
这是我和我老婆的一些色图
你想看更多的话跟我说一声
妈
Mom?
年性地
年龄 性别 地址
22 女孩 爱荷华州
有照片吗
复♥制♥
你好漂亮
想网爱吗
好
我用牙齿脱掉你的内♥裤♥ 你湿透了
湿
Wet?
你在对我做什么
内衣
Underwear?
我脱掉你的内♥裤♥ 你也湿了
我把25厘米全插♥进♥你的身体
你在自♥慰♥吗
什么
What?
艾丽斯
Alice!
吃晚饭了
Dinner!
我要对全能的上帝坦白
I confess to almighty God...
也对你们 我的兄弟姐♥妹♥们♥
and to you, my brothers and sisters,
我因自己的过错犯下了罪孽
that I have sinned through my own fault,
我的罪在我的思想和言语中
in my thoughts and in my words,
在我所做的和未能做到的事情中
in what I have done and in what I have failed to do...
米勒夫妇邀请我们去看球赛
The Millers invited us over to watch the game.
真棒 我会做拿手的奶酪土豆
Great, I'll make my cheesy potatoes.
见鬼 罗恩
Damn it, Ron.
我全都湿了
Now I'm all wet!
别慌 盖尔 也没那么湿
Calm down, Gail, you're not that wet.
艾丽斯 我听说你周五晚上和韦德在一起
So, uh, Alice, I heard you got on Wade Friday night.
斯蒂芬妮跟我说她在我的桑拿房♥里碰见了你们
Stephanie told me she walked in on you guys in my sauna.
在桑拿房♥里热火朝天
Gettin' steamy in the sauna!
不是 我们只是在那里喝了点饮料
No, we were just back there getting some drinks.
也就去了一分钟
We were only gone for like a minute!
韦德能坚持一分钟就不错了
Yeah, that's long enough for Wade.
我瞎说的
I was just messin'.
听好
Listen.
你不必因为喜欢一个男生就和他乱搞
You don't have to put out just because you like a boy.
我不喜欢他
I don't like him.
讲到支持这些理论的圣经章节
And now, for the Bible passages that back all this up...
我们要从《加拉太书》开始
We're gonna start with Galatians.
希瑟 你来给我们开个头吧
Heather, why don't you start us off?
肉体之行为是显而易见的
The acts of the flesh are obvious:
淫乱 污秽 邪荡
sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery...
我刚从古迪音乐城买♥♥了《眨眼182》的CD
OK, so, I just bought this Blink 182 CD from Sam Goody, right?
然后存到电脑上 再存到这里
I upload them to my computer and then I just put 'em on here.
小菜一碟
Easy as pie.
顺便告诉你 这张专辑很棒
The album's amazing, by the way.
叫作《全民灌肠计划》
It's called Enema of the State.
懂吗
Get it?
我猜你对灌肠可懂了 对吧