变相怪杰（1994）

Another one coming down.
我要再放一根下去 麦克
Hang on.
先等一下
I got those...
我弄到了
concert tickets you wanted.
你要的音乐会票
You're kidding!
不是在开玩笑吧
For Friday night?
是周五晚的?
Stanley, this is great.
太棒了 斯坦利
What time do I pick you up?
我几点去接你?
Here's the thing.
有点儿小情况
My best girlfriend is here and she'd die to go to this...
我的好友来了 她想去得要命
so could we get an extra ticket for her?
能不能帮她弄一张?
They're sold out. That means there's no more.
票卖♥♥光了 买♥♥不到了
I can't let her sit home all alone.
但我不能把她丢在家里
I'll tell you what.
我看这样吧
Go with your friend.
你跟她去听
I couldn't do that.
斯坦利 这怎么行呢?
No, come on.
没关系啦
Stanley, you are the nicest guy.
斯坦利 你真是盖世无双
Really, you are.
真的 斯坦利 是吗?
Isn't he the nicest guy? The best.
查理 你说对不对? 顶尖好人
That was the most sickening display
她的脸皮
I've ever seen. I disagree.
比牛皮还厚 我不同意
I'm wearing her down.
我跟她慢慢磨
Buddy, you need a little change of pace.
老兄 你知道你需要什么吗? 你该换换口味了
Tonight, i'll take you on a love safari.
今晚我带你去猎艳
Deep into the darkest heart of the urban jungle.
深入都市丛林黑暗之心
Tell me more, bwana.
说来听听
The Coco Bongo Club. Hottest new joint in town.
椰鼓夜♥总♥会♥ 全城最红的新场子
Only the cr me de la cr me need apply.
有头有脸的人物才能进场
How do we get in? Are you kidding?
我们算老几? 什么? 开玩笑吗?
Leave it to me. Trust me, buddy.
交给我办好了 是啊
This is going to be the perfect...
今晚会是我们
night on the town.
最完美的夜晚
Hold the phone.
等等
Killer at three o'clock.
绝色美女在三点钟出现
Stand back and observe.
你留守后方 好好观察
Where do I open an account?
请问在哪办开户?
New accounts,right here.
新开户就在这里
You're Lucky, I was on my way out...
你真幸运 能遇到我 我正要出去呢
Hold this for me, please?
帮我拿一下可以吗?
I'll hold anything you want.
让我拿什么都行
Can you help me?
你帮我办 好吗?
So...
那么
what kind of account do you want?
你想开哪种户头?
Well, I'm not sure exactly. I'm just terrible with things like that.
我也不确定 我对理财最外行
That's an interesting tie, Mister...
你的领带很有意思 贵姓
Ipkiss, Stanley Ipkiss.
在下斯坦利·伊普吉斯
Tina Carlyie, it's a pleasure.
幸会 我叫蒂娜
Pleasure's all mine.
荣幸之至
May I?
我可以吗?
What?
可以什么?
I'm such a mess.
我像个落汤鸡
Oh, of course.
哦 当然可以 谢谢
That's what they're there for.
这就是给你用的
As I was saying, that tie...
见到你的领带
reminds me of those, what do you call it, ink blot tests.
使我想起那种心理测验 叫什么来着? 墨渍测验
A Rorschach test. Right.
罗夏发明的! 对
It sort of looks like...
它看起来像
a young woman riding bareback.
骑无鞍马的妙龄女郎
Sort of...
像
Lady Godiva or something.
查泰莱夫人或者什么的
Of course.
是的
What do you see, Mr. Ipkiss?
你自己觉得呢?
I don't know.
我不知道
Bright colors...
颜色很亮丽
It's a power tie.
带给人♥权♥力感
Supposed to make you feel...
应该是能使人感觉
powerful.
更自信
Does it work?
有效吗?
Now, how about that account?
好了 关于开户的事
We have...
我们有
several different plans.
好几种户头
Savings.
活期
Checking.
支票
Savings and checking.
活期加支票
Savings and CD's.
活期加定存
Checking and CD's.
支票加定存
Savings, checking and CD's. T-Bills.
活期加支票 定存 国库券
Or we can throw your money in a big mattress.
或者干脆挖个洞把钱藏起来
Now, I have some forms for you to fill out.
你填一些表格吧
That's it, sweetheart. Now just a little bit to the right.
很好 亲爱的 再向右一点点 好极了
Keep it down back there.
你们小声一点
We'll try.
是的
What do you think? Layout's not bad. But...
你觉得如何? 看起来不难
the motion detectors are a pain.
但警报器非常棘手
But you can pull this off, right?
你能办妥吗?
You talking to the Doctor.
我办事 你放心
I do have one question.
但我有个疑问
Which is?
你说吧
What's Niko have to say about this?
尼哥有什么意见?
Nothing.
没意见
This isn't his grift. Get real, man.
他不搞抢银行 说真的 伙计
Everything is his grift.
他什么都在行
He owns you, he owns this club, he owns this whole stinking town.
你是他的 夜♥总♥会♥也是 他的势力遍及全城
Things change.
现在不同了
You mess with Niko, you end up taking a dirt nap.
你惹他 只有死路一条
He's the only one who's napping...
不用脑筋的是他
and I'm about to give him a serious wake-up call.
我要狠狠将他唤醒
But we need cash...
但我们需要钱
so first we take the bank...
所以先抢银行
then we take Niko...
再做掉尼哥
and then, my friend, school is out.
然后我们就自♥由♥了
And this whole city is our playground.
这里就是我们的天下了!
Bub, watch where you're going!
嗨! 走路看着点!
Hang on, hang on!
等等! 等等!
Don't get your panties in a twist.
你急着去投胎呀!
What the hell is it?
这是什么东西?
I don't know...
我不知道
about seven hundred bucks, eh?
值七百元就对了
Now, what can I do for you, bub?
有何贵干 朋友?
I'm here for the Civic.
我来领我的思域轿车的
The brake drums are shot and you need a new transmission.
刹车鼓损坏 整组传动要换
What?!
什么?
All I wanted was an oil change.
我只是来换机油的
Lucky we caught these problems before they caused serious trouble.
幸好我们及早发现问题 算你狗命够大
Sign right here, and press down hard.
签名 用力写
There's no price. There will be.
没写价钱? 我们会写的
I've no car. I need a car tonight.
我没有车了 我今晚要用车呀!
Bring around the loaner.
把代替品借给他
The loaner?
代替品?
The loaner?
代替品?
It's a classic.
古董名车
Gals, meet my buddy Stanley Ipkiss.
我的死党斯坦利·伊普吉斯
Humungo in the banking business.
银行业巨子
Not really. Let's get in this joint.
过奖了 怎么样 咱们进去吧
How you doing, buddy?
嘿 博比! 大块头 你好吗?
It's Charlie! How you doing?
我是查理呀! 嘿 查理 你好吗? 你好啊?
How you doing, my friend? Long time no see.
过的怎么样 我的朋友? 好久不见了
Good to see you.
进来吧 嘿 见到你真是太好了
Come on, gals.
姑娘们 走吧