特工狂花

特工狂花
圣诞婆婆好性感
Ow! Mrs. Claus is hot!
是啊
Yeah!
我叫萨曼塔·凯恩
My name is Samantha Caine.
至少我认为是
At least, I think it is.
信不信由你 我八年前出生
You might not believe it to look at me, but I was born only years eight ago...
在新泽西的海滩上
on a beach in New Jersey.
一出生就是成人 穿着不知是不是我的衣服
I entered the world fully grown, wearing clothes I don't remember buying.
口袋里有串钥匙
In the back pocket a single key...
"不明不白"
filed blank and faceless.
是最佳比喻 毫无线索可循 一片空白
A fitting metaphor, but otherwise no help whatsoever. None.
有时我赤♥裸♥着照镜子
Sometimes I stand naked in the mirror...
想猜自己多大了
try to guess my age.
有35岁了吧
Thirty-five, maybe?
身上有好多伤疤
I have lots of scars.
医生说是"逆行性失忆症"
They call my condition focal retrograde amnesia.
不愉快 但我熬过来了
It's no picnic, but I've learned to live with it.
有了自己喜欢的工作 也有约会
Got a job I love, been seeing someone.
是好男人 很幽默
Nice guy. Good sense of humor.
-巴斯克维尔的猎犬 -疯狂的狗
- Uh-oh. Hound of the Baskervilles. - Mad dogs. Mad dogs.
-哈尔 我得说 -嗯
- Hal, I gotta tell you. - Yes? Yes?
没见过这么华丽的圣诞
Of all the Christmas pageants I have ever seen...
这是最近的
this was by far the most recent. Ha, ha.
天啊 萨姆
For God's sakes, Sam...
我要三个十几岁的少女扮博士 务必
I've got teenage girls that are playing the Three Wise Men.
你指望谁来扮
What'd you expect?
十几岁的孩子
Teenage boys?
她们扮很好
I thought they did fine.
演耶稣降世 约瑟死盯着博士的酥胸
It was the first nativity where Joseph stares at the Wise Men's tits all night.
是吗
Yeah? Ha, ha.
她名叫凯特琳 在我失掉记忆时
Her name is Caitlin, and when I woke up on that long-ago day...
已经怀她两个月
I was two months pregnant with her.
我不知她父亲是谁 也许永远不知
I don't know who her father is. I may never.
只知她是我的
I just know she's mine.
他叫裴金先生
His name is Mr. Perkins.
我妈起的名字
My mom named him for me.
-凯特琳 来厨房♥帮忙 -就是她
- Caitlin! Come help in the kitchen! - That's her.
-就是谁 -她妈妈
- That's who? - Her mom.
她失去记忆
She's got amnesia.
-真的吗 -真的
- Swear? - Swear.
好奇怪呀
Too weird.
大家好
Hello, girls.
凯特琳 去厨房♥帮我忙
Caitlin, come help me in the kitchen.
快点 我忘了厨房♥在哪里
Hurry up, because I forget where it is.
-吧 -哈哈
- Bah! - Ha, ha.
来点糖果
Some more sugar.
雷蒙德 再捉到你抽烟
Raymond! If I catch you smoking again...
我要让你永远消失 知道吗
they'll never find the body. Understand?
-是 凯恩小姐 -来一片饼干
- Yes, Miss Caine. - Have a cookie.
-大家安静 -在这年终岁末
- Quiet, everybody. - As the year draws to a close, I would like...
我跟大家谈点我的事
I would like to share with you a few things about myself...
我引以为荣的事
things of which I am especially proud.
首先 我感到骄傲的是 我不抽烟
First, I'm proud to say that I don't smoke...
不喝酒 也不说粗话
I don't drink, and I don't swear.
-哦 靠 我又抽烟又喝酒 -哈尔
- Oh, shit, I do smoke and drink. - Hal.
-你们看见了 -遮住耳朵
- You see, right there. - Block your ears.
敬我们的好朋友
To our dear friends...
祝你们从前的美好变成将来的苦难
may the best of your past be the worst of your future.
为这句话干杯
I'll drink to that.
弯下腰 亲爱的 弯下腰
Take a bow, my dear. Take a bow.
我们的圣诞树
We got the mistletoe.
甜心
Oh, sweetie.
八年了
Eight years. Hmm.
除了名字都忘记了
Except for my name, all traces are lost.
以前雇贵的侦探
I used to hire expensive detectives.
现在雇便宜的
Now I'm down to the cheap ones.
似乎不重要了
Doesn't seem to matter.
从前的我由她去吧
The woman I was, the one I used to be, she's gone.
我跟她吻别了
I've kissed her good night.
警♥察♥ 不准动
Police. Don't move.
搞什么鬼
What the hell is this?
先生 你不要凶
Don't give me attitude, sir.
你以为我不敢开枪打你可怜的屁♥股♥
See, you're assuming I won't shoot your sorry ass...
你若心存侥幸
and everyone knows, when you make an assumption...
就是愚弄自己
you make an ass out of "u" and "mption."
我们是风化组 你若是态度恶劣
I'm Sergeant Madigan, Vice, and if you cop a 'tude, jerkoff...
我要关你十年 还要你被人鸡♥奸♥
I will see to it you spend the next 10 years in prison getting ass-fucked.
如果法官不判你坐牢
If the case is thrown out because my arrest was too violent...
我会雇人鸡♥奸♥你十年
I will personally hire men to ass-fuck you for the next 10 years.
喜欢被鸡♥奸♥的话 你就骂吧
So if you're an ass-fucking fan, you go ahead and mouth off.
对了 你因嫖♥娼♥被捕
Meanwhile, you're under arrest for the crime of prostitution.
汤尼警官 念他的权利
Officer Donlevy, read him his rights.
-什么 -权利
- What? - His rights.
你有权利
You have the right...
你有权保持沉默
You have the right to remain silent.
你现在的言语行为 出庭时会对你不利
And, uh, anything you say and do will be held against you in a...
求求你 你听我说 我有老婆 我从不
You gotta listen to me, man. I got a wife. This... I've never...
这是第一次 我发誓是第一次
This is the first time I've done this.
先生
Sir, sir.
你听着 我从你选择在这里 就知道你不是有钱人
Listen to me. I can see from your choice you're not a wealthy man.
我可以用嫖♥娼♥的罪名逮捕你
Now, in light of the damage that this arrest could do to you...
也许可以商量
we might be able to make some arrangement.
噢 老天
God!
不要雇流浪汉了
Gotta stop using bums.
算了吧
Forget that.
他们看起来都像警官一样
They looked like cops.
我们不也成功了吗 对不对
We pulled it off, didn't we?
但却很尴尬
It was embarrassing.
你要我雇演员吗
Want me to hire actors, for chrissake?
流浪汉有得吃就肯干 便宜
These guys are cheap. They work for food.
他们呕吐要不要退钱
When they puke on you, is that a refund?
特林
Oh, Trin...
你真搞笑 我憋不住了
I'm pissing myself here, you're so funny.
-这是什么 -我有萨曼塔的动静
- What's this? - I got movement on Samantha Caine.
-你开玩笑吧 -不是 我查到有个人
- You're kidding. - Nope. I may have a lead on someone...
87年时租♥房♥♥子给失忆的女子
who rented Amnesia Chick an apartment back in '87.
可能还保留了她的东西
They still have some of her stuff.
别开玩笑 你那来的消息
Get out of here. Where'd that come from?
运气好 老女人很安祥的走了
Lucky break. Old lady died and one of her asshole grandkids...
她一个败家子孙子在 遗物中找到信♥用♥卡♥
found a credit card in a shoe box...
卡上有萨曼塔的名字
name Samantha Caine on it.
他想在百货公♥司♥刷♥卡♥
Tried to use it at Nordstrom's.
这样好了 我们所要做的是
Okay, here's what we do.
你打电♥话♥向她要更多的现金
You get on the phone to Amnesia Chick. Tell her we need more cash.
好热闹的派对
Hey, that was a really swell party.
-谢谢你的便车 -嗯
- Thanks again for the ride. - Mm-hm.
你跟哈尔在一起有多长时间
You and Hal, you've been together now, what?
-几年了吧 -嗯
- What? A couple of years? - Mm-hm.
你俩是否常常
How often do you two, uh...?
我们把手指放在手里插♥进♥插出
Stick our fingers in our hands and pull them out again?
一有机会就做
Every chance we get.
厄尔 拜托
Earl, do me a favor.
每字都有一些含义如"打嗝"
Have bubbles come out of your mouth and say, "Hic."
天杀的 我没有醉
Goddamn it, I am not drunk.
我证明给你看
Here, I'll prove it to you.
好了
Hey. Hey, come on.
别这样
Hey! Stop that!
-对不起 -不
- I'm sorry. - No!
新泽西看守所
哈钦森郡的空降圣诞老人不过如此
And so much for the skydiving Santa of Hutchinson County.
WICC新闻 接着报导
Meanwhile, WICC News journeyed to Honesdale today...