双重人格

办公室犹如丛林 上校会帮助你
送给汉娜
别忘了调换身份 ——詹姆斯
詹姆斯•西蒙 高级主管
回归分♥析♥:一个提案 作者:西蒙•詹姆斯
给会关心我的人 我决定结束生命 我便不在存在
人有价值 不能像鬼魂一样飘在这世界上
给会关心我的人 我是个鬼魂
这是我的座位
You're in my place.
什么
I'm sorry?
这是我的座位
You're in my place.
哦 抱歉
Oh, I'm sorry.
嘿 你站住
Hey, you!
-我 -参观要登记
-Me? -Visitors have to sign in.
我在这工作七年了
Oh wait, I've worked here for seven years.
-我每天都见到你 -我周末不上班
-I see you every day. -I don't work weekends...
-抱歉 -你说你每天都看到我
-I'm sorry? -...It is therefore impossible
这是不可能的 工作证
for you to see me every day. I.D.
-我... -其他身份证明
-Yeah, I...-Supplementary I.D.
我没有其他身份证明
Oh yeah, the funny thing is I don't have any.
在我箱子里 箱子夹在火车门上了
It's actually in my case, which is in the door of a train.
-被卡住了 -你觉得这很可笑
-It got stuck. -Do you think that's funny?
不 这太让人不爽了
No. No, it's actually more upsetting than anything else.
别开我玩笑 先生
Don't make a jest of this, sir.
我没有
I won't.
我叫西蒙•詹姆斯
Oh, um...Actually my name is Simon James.
你漏了一个”J”
Uh, you left off the "J" in my last name.
-请出示通行证 -好
-I need to see your pass. -Right.
抱歉
Sorry.
穿上外套 孩子
Put your jacket on, son.
这不是妓院
This isn't a brothel.
别偷懒 这是个大生产
No shirking! This is the big push!
有好多要做
Plenty to do.
上校希望每个人都努力工作 我也如此
The Colonel is counting on each and every one of you, as am I.
打扰一下 帕帕多普洛斯先生 其实...
Mr. Papadopoulos, actually...Mr. Papadopoulos, excuse me.
帕帕多普洛斯先生 我做完了
Mr. Papadopoulos, I've finished up.
而且还大大超额完成了
In fact, I completed substantially more than my quota.
脱外套是因为太热了
I took my jacket off only because it's so hot,
而不是我把办公室当成了妓院
not because I mistook the office for a brothel.
干得好 我们就需要这种主动精神
Excellent job. That's the type of initiative we need.
你在这多久了 孩子
How long have you been here, son?
-刚来 -七年了 先生
-Just started, eh? -Yes sir, seven years ago.
我们一直会修剪枯死的树干
You know we've been pruning the dead wood.
上校拒绝雇用多余的员工
The Colonel refuses to carry any more passengers.
我有一些更棒的想法
Er, actually, I have some rather exciting ideas
想跟上校先生分享
I've been wanting to share with the Colonel about how
比如可以让报告更高效
we could make our reports more efficient.
我觉得运用简单的回归分♥析♥
I think by using simple regression analysis
我们可以重新配置整个业务
we could really reconfigure the entire business.
-我女儿梅兰妮 -很好听的名字
-My daughter's name is Melanie. -A nice name.
在这做假期实习
She's interning for the holidays.
-说你好 梅兰妮 -你好 梅兰妮
-Say hello, Melanie. -Hello, Melanie.
斯坦利是你的导师
Stanley here is gonna be your mentor.
-对 什么 -一天一小时
-Yes. What? -An hour a day,
你自主分配时间 她是个好姑娘
at your discretion. She's a good girl,
-但对不擅长数字 -嗯
-but no head for figures. -Yeah.
白♥痴♥
Idiot.
-你可以走了 -好 谢谢你
-You can go now. -Right. Yes, thank you.
要是我发现你在这
Because if I were to find out how depressing
做一些让人压抑 让人难堪的事情
and demeaning whatever the fuck it is you do here,
我就不得不跟你说抱歉了
I might be forced to feel sorry for you.
好吧
Right. Well,
我等着呢
I look forward to it.
嗨
Hi.
复印
Copy.
你为什么不印两份 那样才说得过去
Why don't you print out two copies? That would make sense.
正常人都会印两份
That would be what a normal person would do.
-抱歉 -你不能在这儿就印一份
-Sorry. -You can't use this place for one copy.
-昨天你就这样 -抱歉
-It was the same story yesterday. -Sorry.
-你总是抱歉 -抱歉
-You're always sorry. -Sorry about that.
汉娜 你能晚点走吗
Hey, Hannah, can you stay late?
-我还有点事 -可以啊
-I've gotta get this thing lanced. -Uh-huh.
印一份
One copy.
嗯 麻烦了
Yes, please.
我知道
I know.
我知道
I know!
嗯 妈妈 我会去的
Yes, mom, I'll be there.
一向要工作到很晚
I always work late.
我现在准备走了
I'm trying to leave now.
可是我还在跟你说话
Because I'm talking to you. Yeah.
好 拜拜
Okay. Yes. Bye.
你要相信我 好
You can rely on me. Okay.
人力资源
People...
最基本的资源
The ultimate resource.
对某些企业来说 人力资源是一样的
Yet to some businesses they all look the same.
但是上校知道是不一样的
But the Colonel knows people are different.
上校的生意是关于人力的 用人做生意
The Colonel knows business is people and people are business,
你有需求 他就能生产
making your business his business.
因为上校懂人力
Because the Colonel knows people.
上校也知道
And the Colonel knows that you demand
你得用世界上最好的数据处理系统
the most powerful data-processing system
来分♥析♥人力资源的意义
on the planet to make sense of it all.
上校会用业务能理解的方式
The Colonel will show you people
给你展现这些
in a way your business can understand.
因为上校知道没有什么
Because the Colonel knows there's no such thing
是特殊存在的
as special people.
人只是人
Just people.
-哪个是你 -哪个...
-Which one was you? -Which one...
我不知道怎么回答
I don't know how to answer that.
那个...那个是我
The one...the one that was me.
看起来不像你 他是棕色头发
He didn't look like you. He had brown hair.
我们都是棕色头发
We both have brown hair.
我是说 我是...我们是一个人
I mean, I have...I...We're the same person.
-我不会死的 -我知道
-I'm not gonna die ever...-I know.
-所以别想了 -好吧
-...so you can forget it. -Okay.
能别说了吗
Will you stop talking?
我想睡觉
I'm trying to sleep.
你妈说你是个怪小子
Your mother says you're a strange boy.
-抱歉你说什么 -你妈说你是个怪小子
-I'm sorry? -Your mother says you're a strange boy.
噢 谢谢
Oh. Thank you.
我看看你的手
Let me see your hand.
不用了 我很好
Oh, that's okay. I'm fine.
你不好
You're not right.
我能跟你谈谈吗
May I speak with you?
好
Yes.
失陪一下
Will you excuse me?
嗯
Yes?
你账单似乎对不上
There seems to be a discrepancy in your bill.
哦对 支出增加了一大笔
Oh yes, well, there was a rather large cost increase
-而且没有说明 所以我觉得 -调价了
-and no explanation, so I thought...-There's a new price.
-为什么 -服务改善了
-And why is that? -Improvements.
-看起来有点 -不公平
-That seems a little...-Unfair.
对
Yeah.
噢 抱歉
Oh, sorry.
好的
Okay.
我只有这么多
That's all I have.
嗯
Yeah.
不够
It's not enough.
你不该这样做
You shouldn't be doing that.
抱歉
Sorry.
-然后你做了什么 -什么
-And then what did you do? -Sorry?
然后你做了什么
And then what did you do?
-我报♥警♥了 -好
-I called the police. -Right.
还有别的吗
Anything else?