二分之一的魔法

很久以前 这个世界遍布奇迹
Long ago, the world was full of wonder.
它充满奇遇
It was adventurous...
惊险刺♥激♥
exciting...
最厉害的是
and best of all...
有魔法存在
there was magic.
烟火轰鸣
Boombastia!
魔法帮助了所有需要帮助的人
And that magic helped all in need.
熊熊燃烧
Flame Infernar!
闪电霹雳
Voltar Thundasir!
但掌握它并不容易
But it wasn't easy to master.
所以世人找了种更简单的方法维继生活
And so the world found a simpler way to get by.
我给它命名为灯泡
I call it the light bulb.
太简便了
'Tis so easy.
久而久之
Over time...
魔法淡出了人们的视野
magic faded away.
但我希望
But I hope...
在你们身上还能找到一些
there's a little magic left...
魔法
in you.
好了
All right.
我们将拥有Z90战士的完美身材
We're gonna get Warrior Z90 fit.
让我听见你说 "我是一个勇猛的战士"
Let me hear you say, "I'm a mighty warrior."
我是一个勇猛的战士
I'm a mighty warrior.
早啊 妈
Morning, Mom.
布拉泽 下来
Blazey, down!
不听话的龙 回你的窝去
Bad dragon! Back to your lair.
生日快乐 成年小伙
Happy birthday, Mr. Adult Man.
别这样 妈
No, Mom.
你这小子 别擦我的亲亲
Hey, buddy. Don't wipe off my kisses.
怎么了
What?
你穿了你♥爸♥爸的卫衣
You're wearing your dad's sweatshirt.
终于合身了
You know. Finally fits.
我的小娃娃长大成人了
Aw, my little chubby cheeks is all grown up!
好了 好了 妈 我上学前得吃点东西
Okay, okay. Mom, I gotta eat something before school.
家里吃的不多了
We don't have much food.
我还得去一趟杂货店
I still have to go to the grocery store.
手拿开 这位先生
Ah, hands off, mister.
这是给你今晚的派对准备的
Those are for your party tonight.
那不是派对 妈 只有家里人
It's not a party, Mom. It's just us.
你可以邀请科学课的同学
You could invite those kids from your science class.
你说过他们都很酷
You said they seem pretty rockin'.
我肯定不是这么形容的
I'm, uh, pretty sure I didn't say it like that.
再说了 我跟他们根本不熟
And besides, I don't even know them.
生日就该尝试新鲜事物
Well, your birthday's a day to try new things.
做个全新的自己
Be the new you.
说到新鲜事
Speaking of trying new things,
你报名参加驾驶培训了没
did you sign up for driving practice?
没 没
No! No.
我知道你有点害怕开车 宝贝 可是...
I know you're a little scared to drive, sweetie pie, but...
我不害怕 妈 我要把巴利的桌游挪走了
I'm not scared, Mom. I'm gonna move Barley's game.
好吧 可是你知道
Okay, but you know how he gets
有人碰他的桌游时他会怎样的
when someone touches that board.
他总得学着收拾他的玩具吧
Well, he's gotta learn how to clean up his toys.
住手
Halt!
吾弟胆敢坏我义举
Doth my brother dare disrupt an active campaign?
差不多行了
Oh, come on!
伊恩
You know, Ian,
在过去 十六岁的男孩
in the days of old, a boy of 16
要在绝望之沼接受力量的考验
would have his strength tested in the Swamps of Despair.
我什么考验都不想接受 放开我
I'm not testing anything. Just let me go.
放开他
Let him go.
好吧
Okay.
但我知道你刚才没使出全力
But I know you're stronger than that.
你体内深藏着一个勇猛的战士
There's a mighty warrior inside of you.
只需要把他释放出来就好
You just have to let him out.
对吧 妈
Right, Mom?
不错嘛
Oh, that's good.
巴利 你好臭 你多久没洗澡了
Barley! You stink! When was the last time you showered?
你要是再使点劲
If you tried a little harder,
没准还真能把我挣开
you actually could probably wiggle out of this.
看到没 妈妈就知道如何释放出体内的战士
See? Mom knows how to let out her inner warrior.
多谢夸奖
Thank you.
快把垃圾拿出去
Now, take out the trash.
...继续留意一只逃跑的狮鹫
...stay on the lookout for a runaway griffin.
布朗科警官
Officer Bronco.
巴利 巴利 巴利
Barley, Barley, Barley.
每次只要市里要拆除
Every time the city tries to tear down
一块旧瓦砾
an old piece of rubble,
我就得马不停蹄地来这找你麻烦
I gotta drag my rear end out here and deal with you.
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
真的吗
Really?
我是不会让你们拆毁这个水池的
I will not let you tear down this fountain.
踏上大远征的古代战士
Ancient warriors on grand quests
都饮用过这里的活水
drank from its flowing water.
巴利
Barley.
他们在毁灭这座城市的过去
They're destroying the town's past.
进来吧
Well, come on in.
休息下腰腿
Rest your haunches for a minute.
谢谢你 亲爱的
Thank you, hon.
你好啊 小寿星
Hey there, birthday boy.
你在干活还是在偷懒
So, ya workin' hard or hardly workin'?
我只是在烤吐司
I'm just, you know, making toast.
说真的 巴利
I'm serious, Barley,
你应该少想着过去
you need to start thinking less about the past
多放眼未来
and more about your future.
她说得对
She's right.
你不能成天只玩桌游
You can't spend all day playing your board game.
《昔日远征》才不只是个桌游
Quests of Yore isn't just a board game.
它是一个基于历史的角色扮演剧本
It's a historically-based role-playing scenario.
你知道 在古代
Did you know, in the old days,
半人马可一小时可以跑一百一十二千米吗
centaurs could run 70 miles an hour?
我有车 不用跑
I own a vehicle. Don't need to run.
伊恩 你一定可以从《昔日远征》学到很多
Well, Ian, you could definitely learn a lot from Quests of Yore.
-想玩吗 -不想
- You wanna play? - I don't.
你可以当狡猾的盗贼 或者...
You could be a crafty rogue or...
我知道了 你可以当巫师
I know! You can be a wizard.
我要对汝施放咒语
I shall cast a spell on thee!
小心爸的卫衣
Careful of Dad's sweatshirt!
我都不记得爸穿过这件卫衣
I don't even remember Dad wearing that sweatshirt.
你大概只记得他两件事
Well, you do only have, like, two memories of him.
不 我记得三件
No, I've got three.
我记得他的胡子很扎人
I remember his beard was scratchy,
他的笑声傻傻的 还有我以前常
he had a goofy laugh, and I used to play
-把他的脚当鼓敲 -把他的脚当鼓敲 没错
- drums on his feet. - Drums on his feet. Right.
我以前经常...
I used to go...
五秒内还能吃
Five-second rule.
没事 扯掉就行
It's okay. You just got to pull it.
不要
No!
巴利
Barley!
我上学路上买♥♥点吃的就行
I'm just gonna get some food on the way to school.
我晚上帮你缝好 好吗
I'll sew that later tonight, okay?
等等
Wait, wait, wait.
遵照古代的法律 我今天要授汝男人称号♥
By the laws of yore, I must dub thee a man today.
向我跪拜
Kneel before me.
不了吧 我得走了
That's okay. I gotta get going.
好吧 我晚点去接你
All right, well, I'll pick you up later.
我们在学校进行授予仪式
We'll perform the ceremony at school.
别别别
No, no, no, no.
千万别 千万别 好了 再见
Don't do that. Don't do that. Okay, bye!
加油狮鹫
Go Griffins!
什么
What?