唯我独尊（2022）

（15年前 犹他州摩押）
这也太高了 太疯狂了
This is way too high. This is crazy.
好了 狂欢兄弟们 准备开跳吧
All right, party people, let's get ready to do this!
哈克 我做不到 我还是不跳了
Huck, I'm not gonna do it, man. I think I'm gonna skip this jump.
我们得一起做 今天是我的生日 盛大29周岁
We gotta do this together. It's my birthday, man. It's the big two-nine.
从你五岁开始 我们每个生日都一起过
Me and you have spent every birthday together since you were five.
总是做疯狂的事情
It's always something crazy.
我就是觉得这次太刺♥激♥了 我受不了
I just feel like this is too much. It's too much for me.
-这次太过刺♥激♥ -对我来说是的 你跳你的
-This one's too much? -Yeah. For me. You do it.
我明白 你快结婚了 要更加负责
I get it. You're getting married. You gotta be more responsible.
我们回到度假村再庆祝
Yeah, we'll celebrate back at the resort.
-好 -好吗
Yeah.
我会拿瓶香槟 弄点奶酪拼盘
I'll get us some champagne, a little cheese board.
-好 -对吧
-Yeah. Yeah! -Right?
-等下见 -好
-I'll see you later. -Okay.
好了 朋友们 你们加油 我就不跳了
All right, guys, go get 'em. I'm not gonna do it.
嘿
Hey!
喂 我不要跳…
Hey, I'm not gonna ju--
天哪
Oh my God!
桑尼我来了
Sonny, I'm coming.
-记住训练要领 桑尼 -我屁也不记得了我吓死了
-Remember your training, Sonny! I don't remember shit! I'm scared, man!
张开双臂 像海星一样
Open your arms, like a starfish.
海星又不会飞哈克 别犯傻了
Starfish can't fly! Huck, starfish are stupid!
桑尼 展开双翼
Sonny, spread your wings.
嘿
Hey!
我做到了
I'm doing it!
太爽了 哈克
This is amazing, Huck.
我就说你可以的
I told you you could do it.
你是对的 兄弟 你总是对的
You know, you were right, man. You're always right.
我要陪你过每一个生日 直到永远
I'm gonna be by your side for every birthday until the end of time.
把手给我 兄弟
Give me your hand, buddy.
你是我最好的朋友
You're my best friend.
我爱你 哈克 我…
I love you, Huck. I lo--
该死天哪
Oh my gosh.
它们的牙好尖
They've got sharp teeth! They've got sharp teeth, Huck.
-它想咬我的脖子 -我这就给你拉开伞索
I think he tried to get to my neck! -I'm gonna pull your rip cord!
-桑尼 真是太棒了 -棒你个头
-Sonny, that was incredible. -Incredible, my ass.
我再也不会听你的做蠢事了
I'm never letting you talk me into this stupid shit again.
NETFLIX 出品
（桑尼和哈克 7岁）
（1993届 最有可能成为“永远的好朋友”）
（席尔 1994年12月9日）
（聚友网 朋友聚集之地 哈克的28周岁生日）
（我们的婚礼）
（脸书 桑尼·费舍尔）
（圣诞节快乐）
（圣诞主题派对快乐哈克）
（1号♥ 印第安纳波利斯赛车场）
（黄金战车）
（我的生日狂欢超棒老爸）
（39岁生日史诗般里程碑 我们想你 桑尼）
（加利福尼亚舍曼奧克斯街区 现在）
太好了 真不错 一定会有很多点赞
It's so good. Like, really good. It's gonna get so many likes.
我是如何不断超越自己的呢 每天我都变得更棒
How do I keep topping myself? Every day, I just get better.
你看这个 艾娃 快看
Look at this. Ava, look.
不错 爸爸
Cool, Daddy.
到学校之后给你朋友都看看
When you get to school, show your friends.
我的果昔里能再加点枸杞莓吗
Can I have some more goji berries in my smoothie?
没问题 伙计
Absolutely, buddy.
这玩意抗氧化 加多少都可以 我…妈的
Antioxidants, whatever you need. I got-- Shit!
真是的霍基波基又在厨房♥拉了
Damn it! Hokey Pokey went to the bathroom in the kitchen again.
我有点难过 因为我知道你们都看到了
Guys, at this point, I'm getting a little frustrated 'cause I know you see it.
真丢人
Come on!
亲爱的 我很遗憾 亲一个
-Honey, I'm sorry. Give me a kiss.
我得走了 他们今天早上 要去阿曼多家检查
I gotta run. They're having an inspection at Armando's this morning.
不要忘记今晚的事 好吗 他要得大奖
But… don't forget tonight, okay? He's getting that big award.
-不必我在场的 对吧 -需要
-You don't need me to be there, right? -Yes.
他是你的客户 他才不在乎我是否在场
Well, he's your client. He's not gonna care if I'm not there.
我知道 但是我在乎 宝贝
I know, but baby, I'll care.
-好吧 -好吗
-Okay. All right. -Okay? Okay, good.
-好吧 -很好 可恶 我的iPad呢
-Okay. -Love it. Where is my iPad?
-在床边 你的书下面 -好 谢谢
-Ah, bedside, under your book. Okay? Yeah. -Okay, thank you, thank you.
嘿 达希 说说那个才艺秀吧
Hey, Dash, we talking about the talent show.
跟我说说 你今天早上练习电子键盘了吗
Talk to me. Did you practice your keyboard this morning?
本来要练的 但我看艾迪·墨菲的 《野马秀》太入神了
I was about to, but I got sucked into watching Eddie Murphy's Raw.
孩子们取笑他说： “我们有麦当劳” 太搞笑了
It was so funny how when the kids would tease him, saying …"We got McDonald's."
达希 别再表演喜剧了 达希
-Hey, Dash, enough with the comedy, Dash.
这次才艺秀很重要 你要知道 今年我是导演
Son, this talent show's a big deal. Remember, I'm the director this year.
我们会被全校师生评判 所以我需要你专心 伙计
The whole school is gonna be judging us. I need you focused, buddy.
-来 加点这个 -什么…够了
-Here, take a little bit of it. -What-- That… that's okay.
拜托 我没开玩笑 我需要你专注点 达希
Come on, man. I'm serious. I really need you on this, Dash.
你不能不把这个当回事 这是…
You can't just let this float around like it's nothing, man. It's--
不行 我不接 哈克每次都很夸张
No, I'm not doing this. It's always a whole thing with Huck.
-嘿 -哈克叔叔
-Hey! -Uncle Huck.
艾娃 达希天哪 你们都长这么大了
Hey, Ava, Dash! God, I can't believe how big you guys got.
见到你们真好 你们爸爸在吗
It's so good to see you. Is your dad around?
-在呢 -就在这儿
-Yes, he is. -He's right here.
-桑尼 好哥们 -我在这儿 你好吗 哈克
-Sonny, baby! Here I am. What's up, Huck?
-最近如何 -你在哪呢
-What's going on? -Where are you, man?
-兄弟 我在提华纳 -提华纳
-Dude, I'm in Tijuana. Tijuana?
我们本来开车去雷东多海滩 但错过了出口
We were driving down to Redondo. We missed the exit.
我们本来想打迷你高尔夫球 但一路就到墨西哥了
We were gonna go play mini golf. We just kept going all the way down to Mexico.
那肯定不能错过 对吧
You gotta do that, right?
哈克 我也想跟你多聊聊 但现在没空
Huck, man, I would love to talk, but I can't, dude.
我要给孩子们收拾 我们要出门了
Gotta get the kids ready. About to get out the door.
我今天要去学校当义工 挺重要的 所以…
Got a big day of volunteering at the school.
记得在我23岁生日的时候 我们来这里吗
You remember when we went down to Mexico for my big two-three,
-到处找驴子秀 -孩子们在呢 哈克
looking for the donkey show? Yeah, I'm with the kids, Huck.
-爸爸 驴子秀是什么 -没什么
-Dad, what's a donkey show? -Nothing.
-我们在路上发现了头驴 -对
-We found a donkey on the road. -Yeah.
我对天发誓 那是我见过最大的阴♥茎♥
Hand to God, biggest P-E-N-I-S I have ever seen.
-好了 -那是什么意思
-Okay. -What did he spell?
-他说的是“鸡鸡” -喂 儿子 你这是干什么
-He spelled "penis." -Hey, boy, what are you doing?
这又不是脏话
It's not a swear word.
没错 这不是脏话 只是个器官
Dash is right. It's not a swear word. It's a body part.
我知道那是什么 我自己也有
I know exactly what it is, Huck. I got one.
-我有吗 -你没有
-Do I have one? -No, you don't.
如果以后某一刻你决定想拥有 那你可以有
In life, if you chose at some point you wanted one, you could get it.
-这事非常复杂 -我赶紧说 哥们
-It's complicated. - Real quick, dude.
我的生日要到了 盛大44周岁
My birthday's coming up. It's the big four-four.
如果不重要我都不会找你
I wouldn't ask if it wasn't an important birthday.
你好久都没来参加我的派对了
You haven't been to my parties in forever.
-你能来吗 -这个…
Any chance you could make it? Yeah--
我觉得这是个好主意 他需要些放飞时间 你好 哈克
-I think that's a great idea. He needs some time to his self. Hi, Huck.
嘿 你好吗 妞儿天哪 你太美了
Hey, what's up, girl? Oh my God. You look amazing.
-我们想你了 -我好想你们
-We miss you. I miss you guys so much.
哈克 听我说 我真心希望自己能去 我不知道玛雅在说什么
Huck, listen, I really wish I could. I don't know what Maya's talking about.
我们要去她父母家过春假 我去不了
We're gonna be at her parents' for spring break. I can't make it.
天哪 那太可惜了 但我完全理解 家人第一嘛
Oh, gosh, that's so disappointing. I mean, I completely understand. Family first.
-可惜 -是啊
-It's too bad. -Yeah.
好了 再见 哈克
All right. Bye, Huck!
-再见 玛雅 -好的 再见 爱你
-Bye, Maya. All right, bye. Love you. Okay.
哈克 你听我说 我得出门了
Um, Huck, dude, listen, I gotta jump, man.
跟你聊天真的很好 太开心了
So good talking to you. So, so good talking to you.
到时候再叙 好吗 嘿 说了再见就挂掉
We'll catch up soon, okay? Hey, say goodbye, hang up.
听着 我还是发给你具体信息 万一你能来的话
All right, look, I'm gonna send you the deets just in case, if you can make it,
还有一张驴屌♥的照片
and a pic of the donkey's D-I-C-K.
-什么 -大到难以置信
-Pic of what? -It's unreal.
-你得看看 -别发…
Don't send no pic of that donkey's dick--
妈的该死
-Shit! Goddamn!
又踩到了同一块屎上
-Same piece of poop got me again.
艾娃 宝贝 这是不对的 自己的包要自己背
Ava, honey, this is getting crazy. You gotta start carrying your own bag.
我不想背
I don't want to.
我知道 但这不代表你不用背
All right, noted, but that doesn't mean you don't have to.
偶尔给你的老父亲搭把手 还是很好的 好吗
Sometimes it'd be nice to help your father, okay?
爸爸 亚瑟·盖勒的爸爸 有辆带自动门的面包车 超级酷
Oh, Dad, Asher Geller's dad got a minivan with automatic doors. Whoo, it's sick.
儿子 听我说
Son, listen to me,
自己动手开车门更能磨炼品性