小镇幽浮（2023）

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我不是女同
但我女友是
初期接触
我不是女同
但我女友是
警♥察♥
爱你的地球母亲
立即行动指令
小镇幽浮
谨以此片献给我的父亲 艾伦
我宣布
I call this meeting
宾州波恩顿市议会 本次会议开始
of the Boonton, Pennsylvania City Council to order.
请起立
Please stand.
我宣誓效忠美国国旗
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America
与其代表的国家
and to the republic for which it stands.
第一项议程是
First item on the agenda,
朱尼珀街棒球场建设的最新进展
an update to the construction of the baseball field on Juniper Street.
出席的是总承包商史蒂夫·戈罕姆
With us is Steve Gorham, general contractor.
按照承诺 我们不需要延期施工
As promised, we will not be needing an extension on construction.
我们会按照上次延续的期限
We will finish by November 1,
在11月1日前完成施工
within the period furnished by our previous extension.
还未完成的是电气和管道工程
What lies ahead is electrical, plumbing,
不包括室外浴室
not including exterior bathrooms...
会有一点拥挤
They are gonna be some congestion...
我们会把它分成四个小区域
...we'll divide it into four subsections.
现在我们进入会议的下一项议程 倾听民声
We now move to the next part of the meeting, which is open public comments.
议会将听取大家的意见 但不保证给予答复
The Council will hear comments, but is not expected to respond.
请在一分半内完成发言
Please remember to limit your comments to one and a half minutes.
我们应该换掉我们镇的标语
I think that we ought to change our town slogan.
"适合叫家的好地方"有歧义
"A Great Place To Call Home" is confusing
因为别人听到这句话
because when somebody hears it,
会觉得这里很适合用电♥话♥呼叫家人
it can mean that it's a great place to call your home on the telephone.
我建议使用更清晰易懂的标语
I suggest a clearer motto,
比如"适合称作家的好地方"
like "A Great Place to Refer to as Home."
当然也不是非得这个
Though it doesn't have to be that.
我们得在特伦特街上修一条人行道
We need a crosswalk on Trent Avenue
在弗罗斯特和阿勒格尼之间
between Frost and Allegheny.
当你在两地之间 想要过马路
It's a very long distance to walk when you're in the middle and you need to cross
你要么去弗罗斯特 要么去阿勒格尼 要走很远
and you either need to get to Frost or Allegheny.
这助长了乱穿马路 并且乱穿马路的罚金很高
It encourages jaywalking, and jaywalking is an expensive ticket,
我可清楚了 因为我收到过三张
and I know 'cause I've gotten three.
而且这样还有可能送命
Not to mention a great way to get you killed.
谢谢
Thank you.
这是本周发生的第二起重大冰川崩塌事故
This is the second major glacier collapse in a week...
好了 爸爸 我准备好了
All right, Dad, I'm ready for you.
世界上还能发生什么
...can expect to see happening in other parts of the world?
好了
Okay.
给
Here.
你的煤气账单 电♥话♥账单 还有医疗辅助保险
Your gas bill, your phone bill, and your Medicare supplement,
如果你感兴趣的话
in case you're interested.
你有帝姆的消息吗
Have you heard from Tim?
没有
No.
长途电♥话♥太贵了
It costs a lot to make a long-distance call,
我理解的
so I understand.
好吧 走之前我得去一下洗手间
Okay. Well, I have to use the girl's room before I go.
爸
Dad?
我在浴室柜里找到了这个
I found this in the bathroom cabinet.
你为什么要把它放在浴室柜里
Any idea why you put it there?
我一定是糊涂了
I must've just gotten confused.
也许厨房♥柜子满了
Maybe the kitchen cabinets were full.
那里可空了
There's plenty of space in 'em.
那我一定是走神了
Well, I must have been distracted.
你还好吗 爸爸 -当然
Are you feeling okay, Dad? - Yeah.
也许你该去做个检查
You think that maybe you should go get a checkup
看看是怎么回事 -我不需要检查
to see how you're doing? - I don't need a checkup.
总之没什么坏处 对吧 -我不需要
Well, it can't hurt, though, right? - I don't need it.
我要上班迟到了 如果还有什么需要就告诉我
Well, I'm late for work. But you let me know if there's anything else you need.
好的
All right.
好的 我们现在要接个电♥话♥
All right, y'all. Uh, okay, well, we're gonna take a call now.
我们已经用棉签在他脖子周围采集了DNA做检测
Now, we swabbed the area around his neck to check for DNA.
你能给我们一个样本来比对吗
Would you care to give us a sample for comparison?
不是吧
Oh, my.
天呐
Oh, my.
911接线员 您有什么紧急情况
911 operator, what is your emergency?
有艘飞船坠毁在我家后院里了
There is a spaceship that's crashed in my backyard.
还把我的杜♥鹃♥花压坏了
And it has crushed my azaleas.
飞船 -没错
A spaceship? - Yes.
先生 给911紧急服务打恶作剧电♥话♥是重罪
Sir, placing prank calls to 911 emergency services is a felony.
不是恶作剧
It's not a prank.
真的有艘飞船坠毁在我家后院里了 还压坏了我的杜♥鹃♥花
A spaceship has crashed in my backyard, and it has crushed my azaleas.
先生 试着躺下再睡一会吧
Sir, please try lying down and go back to sleep.
我很清醒
I'm wide awake.
喂
Hello?
喂
Hello? Hello?
无法接通丹妮斯
Denise is unavailable.
语♥音♥信箱已满
The voicemail is full--
我都和你们讨论了四年匹克球了
I have been talking to you about pickleball for the past four years,
但是你们一点动作都没有
and you haven't done nothin' about it.
对于我们这样膝盖不灵活
Pickleball is a fantastic sport
无法在网球场挥洒自如的人来说
for those of us whose knees aren't agile enough
匹克球是非常棒的运动
to get us across the tennis court.
是谁在阻挠匹克球的规划
Who's filibustering pickleball?
吴 是你吗
Is that you, Wu?
高速旁新建的冷库
The new cold storage facility near the highway
会让商户们更容易
is going to give our businesses a marvelous way
储存易变质的货物
to store their perishable goods.
同时它也能发挥另一个作用
But it also gives us another thing:
成为一面巨大的墙
a giant wall.
我在想议会是否能
I wonder if this council would consider
委托一名壁画家为这个宝贵的建筑
commissioning a muralist to add a little magic
增添一抹色彩
to what will already be a valuable building.
我认为我们应该修改小镇的标语
I think we ought to change our town slogan.
"适合叫家的好地方"有歧义
"A Great Place To Call Home" is confusing
因为别人听到这句话
because when somebody hears it,
会觉得这里很适合用电♥话♥呼叫家人
it can mean that it's a great place to call your home on the telephone.
我建议使用更清晰易懂的标语
I suggest a clearer motto,
比如"适合称作家的好地方"
like "A Great Place to Refer to as Home."
当然也不是非得这个
Though, um, it doesn't have to be that.
我们得在特伦特街上修一条人行道
We need a crosswalk on Trent Avenue
在弗罗斯特和阿勒格尼之间
between Frost and Allegheny...
无法接通丹妮斯
Denise is unavailable.
语♥音♥信箱已满
The voicemail is full.
嗨 丹妮斯
Yeah? Hi, Denise--
几天前我打给过你
I called you a few nights ago because
因为一艘飞船坠毁在了我家后院
a spaceship had crashed in my backyard.
而现在
Well, now...
一个太空人已经爬出来了
a space man has come out of the ship,
他就在院子里躺着
and he's lying on my patio.
我很害怕
I'm scared.
我不知道该怎么办
I don't know what to do.
总之 给我回个电♥话♥
Anyway... call me.
你好吗 米尔顿
How are you, Milton?
我跟你说
Well, I'll tell you.
这次真出事了
I've g-I've got a real situation.
我宣布 布恩顿市议会会议正式开始
I call this meeting of the Boonton City Council to order.
尊敬的委员们
Esteemed Council members,
今晚 我很荣幸能向您提出一份老幼互帮互助计划
I am delighted to speak to you tonight about elderly-youth connections.
希望我们最终能在该项目上达成合作
I hope eventually to collaborate with this board on this project,
与此同时 我要先启动一个试点项目
but in the meantime, I am launching a pilot project.
我会在小镇各处张贴这些海报
I will be placing these posters around town
实现与一位年轻人的沟通交流
in order to connect with a young person
我们彼此学习
who would like to learn from me, and I from them.