一年之痒（2013）

非吻不可? 非要在这?
Must you? Just here?
三 二 一
Three, two, one!
新年快乐
Happy New Year!
本周畅销书
我愿意
I do.
现在我无比欣喜地宣布...
It now gives me great pleasure to pronounce you...
不好意思
Excuse me.
你还好吗
You all right?
我很好
I'm fine.
-呛着了吗 -没有
- Something lodged? - Nothing.
-水 -什么
- Water. - What?
请给我拿杯水
A glass of water, please.
-哪里有水 -不知道
- Where's the water? - I don't know.
天哪
Oh, dear.
他居然从圣坛取水
He's getting it from the font!
上帝啊 抱歉
Jesus Christ. Sorry.
真抱歉 我说到哪了
So sorry. Where were we?
现在我宣布
"I now pronounce you."
-现在我宣布 -没错
- I now pronounce you. - Yeah.
不用了 谢谢 现在我宣布
No, thank you. I now pronounce you...
你们结为夫妇
husband and wife.
看啊
Look at them.
-是不是很可爱 -是啊
- Aren't they adorable? - Yes.
一年后再看吧
I give it a year.
一年之痒
如果你们还不认识我
And for those of you who don't know me,
考虑到我们过会可能在酒吧碰上
and especially if we meet in the bar later,
我的名字是 "丹尼你想来一杯吗"
my name is, "Danny Do-you-want-a-pint?"
丹尼你想来一杯吗
"Danny Do-you-want-a-pint?"
通奸
Fornication...
英文"通奸"与"这种场合"发音相似
我重新读一下
I'll read that again.
在这种场合下
For an occasion, like this,
希望我尽到了一个伴郎应尽的义务
I want to make sure I keep up the traditions of being a best man.
显然我得让新郎准点到教堂 完成
Apparently I need to get the groom to the church on time. Tick.
我得记得带上戒指 完成 而且我还得
I need to remember the rings. Did that. And I need to...
跟伴娘上♥床♥ 好棒
have sex with a bridesmaid. Wahey!
解释一下 我写这些的时候
I... To be fair, I wrote these,
还不知道她们...
um... before I knew they...
我绝不会跟她们...
I would never have sex with a...
也许等她们长大点 不能说得太绝对
Maybe when they're older. Never say never.
而且不能接近匹多·罗格
And keep away from Paedo Rog!
怎么样 匹多 你能来真好
All right, Paedo? Nice to have you.
他远道而来 好小伙
He's come a long way. Good lad.
非常高兴看到这么多人
It's great to see so many
前来见证乔什喜结良缘
people turn up to see Josh finally tie the knot.
也该是时候了
And about time, too.
娜塔要什么有什么 她聪明绝顶
Nat's got it all. She's brilliantly clever,
显然床上功夫也相当了得
apparently really delivers in the bedroom.
有其母必有其女 他定一懂我的意思
Like mother like daughter, eh? He knows what I'm talking about.
我不知道你们怎么想
And I don't know about you,
要不是她鼻子太丑 她肯定能当模特
but I feel she could easily be a model, I think we'll agree,
你们也同意吧
if it wasn't for her nose.
我第一次看见她在卖♥♥...
When I first saw her beaver...
...力苦干 忙前忙后
...ing away... Beavering away,
给乔什做饭 我就知道她会是个抢手货
cooking Josh a meal, I knew she was a real catch.
我不能理解为什么她前任会背着她偷吃
Um, I've got no idea why her previous boyfriend cheated on her,
但幸亏他这么做了
but, uh, I'm glad he did.
敬他一杯 不管他现在何方
Cheers to him, wherever he may be.
肯定在滚床单
Probably shagging.
但是 不 说真的 娜塔
But, uh, no. Um, seriously, Nat.
满分10分你能拿8分 亲爱的
You're a real eight out of ten, love.
我真心这么认为
I mean that sincerely.
很高兴你和乔什能邂逅彼此
And we're delighted you and Josh have found each other.
请各位共同举杯
So, everyone, please, raise your glasses
我们为娜塔和乔什干一杯
as we say a little toast to Nat and Josh.
敬娜塔和乔什
To Nat and Josh!
娜塔现在肯定很难为情
Nat is literally gonna be cringing right now.
她讨厌成为众人关注的焦点
She hates being the centre of attention.
根本不可能
It is impossible to imagine anyone
会有人比你今天更漂亮 娜塔
looking more beautiful than you do today, Nat.
我知道你多喜欢成为众人关注的焦点
And I know how much you love being the centre of attention.
这是我们两人的不同点之一
That's just one of the things that makes us so different.
我是个思想者 你是个实干家
Because I'm a thinker, you're a doer.
我放任自♥由♥ 你一意孤行
I'm laissez-faire, you're anal.
英文"一意孤行"兼有"肛♥门♥ 肛♥交♥"之意
你这个龌龊的家伙
Hey, you dirty sod!
请继续
On you go.
卡骆驰 美国著名鞋履生产零售商 其明星产品为鞋面布满洞眼的树脂制拖鞋
我觉得男人穿卡骆驰没什么不好
I think it's fine for a man to wear Crocs,
而你清楚地表明你并不这么认为
and you've made it abundantly clear you do not.
虽然只有七个月时间
I know it's only been seven months,
你们之中也有人认为
and some of you think
我们结婚太疯狂了 但是
that we're crazy for getting married, but...
我只知道 从我第一眼看到你
all I know is, from the first moment I saw you,
我就知道 我需要这张脸
I knew that yours was the only face,
这个声音
and the only voice
来伴我走完人生
that I would ever need again.
因为在那一刻 一切都不同了
'Cause in that moment, everything just changed.
万事万物似乎都如此完美
Everything just seemed to fit so perfectly.
我非常幸运
And I'm so lucky that
我感觉我才刚刚开始了解你
I feel like I'm only just getting to know you.
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
请祝福我们
here's to us.
-请祝福我们 -干杯
- Here's to us. - Cheers!
你幸福吗
Are you happy?
我是最幸福的人
The happiest.
这是我生平最棒的两小时36分钟
The best two hours and 36 minutes of my life.
我刚刚还有种不祥的预感
You know, I had this terrible fear
以为你会搞出什么奇葩舞蹈
that you were gonna do some sort of novelty dance.
快穿上 快穿上 很抱歉 娜塔
Get it on quickly, get it on quickly. I'm so sorry, Nat.
一 二 三 现在放轻松
One, two, three. Get loose now.
现在开始摇滚
I wanna rock right now.
我是乔什莫斯 咱不醉无归
I'm Josh Moss and I came to get down
我的小甜心 你真♥他♥妈♥扫兴
You're my girl my honey my boo
你说"我愿意" 我胡言又乱语
I was straight? trippin when you said "I do"
屋子里的混♥蛋♥ 个个都说"唷"
All the motherfuckers in the house say "yo"
傻♥逼♥老黑鬼 你乖乖听我讲
There's something my nigga's got to know
看到老狗被搞 心里真不爽
It's the shit to see my dawg get hitched
他来让白莲花 变成黑木耳
Now he can make that ho his bitch
-你不能说那种字眼 -别恨队友
- You can't say those things. - Don't be a player hater.
我认真的 哥们
Seriously, mate.
别恨队友 要恨就恨游戏本身
Don't hate the player, hate the game.
我说的对吧 到此为止 哥们
Am I right? Put it there, mate.
-准备好了吗 -好了
- Ready? - Yeah.
真不错
That's nice.
儿子 你知道这不容易 对吧
Listen, son, you know it's not easy, don't you?
-第一年是最糟糕的 -好吧
- The first year is the worst. - Okay.
-是真的 -谢谢
- It's true. - Thank you.
如果你们能熬过婚姻的第一年
If you can make it through the first year of marriage,
-你们就能克服一切困难 -没错
- you can make it through anything. - Yeah.
当年有时候你♥爸♥回家晚了
You know, there were times when your father was late home
-我就会幻想他被杀了 -是吗
- I used to fantasise he'd been killed. - Did you?
真有趣
That's nice.
我一直幻想是爱尔兰共和军干的
Oh, in my mind, it was always the IRA.
奇怪 真奇怪
Strange, strange.
后来情况好转了 因为我们彼此相爱
But things got better because we love each other.
了不起 了不起
Tremendous, tremendous.
我们要走吗 好尴尬
Shall we go, yeah? This is weird.
是很尴尬
Yes, it's a bit weird.
不可理喻 真是不可理喻
Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.
那是九个月之前的事了
So, that was nine months ago.
就算是那时候 我们也本能地感到