忌日快乐（2017）

闭嘴
Shut up!
嘿 你醒啦
Oh, hey, you're up.
我不太确定你要不要睡在这儿 就
I wasn't sure if you wanted to sleep in or not, so.
这儿是宿舍吗
Am I in a dorm room?
是的
Uh... yeah.
♪ 哦耶 老子今天过生日 ♪
♪ Yeah, it's my birthday ♪
♪ 你丫倒是快点儿接电♥话♥啊 ♪
♪ And now you gotta pick up the phone ♪
我的衣服呢
Where are my clothes?
就在梳妆台上
On the dresser.
我昨晚把你的裤子叠好了放在这儿了
I folded your pants last night.
我不确定
And I wasn't sure if that material
它会不会起皱
gets wrinkled.
很好
Great.
你可能都不记得我叫什么了吧
Don't know if you remember my name or not.
昨晚真是喝多了
Uh, pretty wasted last night
- 你有泰诺吗 – 你说什么
- Got Tylenol? - What?
我头疼得厉害 你这儿有没有泰诺
Ugh. My head is killing me. Do you have any Tylenol?
有
Yes...
应该有
I do.
你等一下
Uh, sorry.
谢谢
Thanks.
那个
I'm Carter.
我叫卡特
By the way.
这事儿不许和别人说 明白了吗
Not a word of this to anyone. Got it?
明白
Yeah.
绝对不会的
Sure.
哥们儿 你有没有把那个大美妞办了
Dude, you hit that fine vagine or what?
瞧你干的好事儿 你个智障
Nice one, dickhead.
你好
Hey.
阻止全球变暖
Stop global warming?
我的天啊
- Oh! - Oh!
快点儿
Come on.
♪ 还剩63瓶 ♪
♪ 63 bottles of beer on the wall. ♪
才26小时 你们就这点儿能耐吗
26 hours, that's all you got?
大点儿声
I can't hear you!
♪ 还剩62瓶 ♪
♪ 62 bottles of beer ♪
♪ 又干掉一瓶 往下传 ♪
♪ Take one down, pass it around ♪
继续
Keep going!
嗨
Hey.
你好
Hi.
我给你发的短♥信♥你一条都没回
You haven't returned any of my texts.
是啊 抱歉 最近有点忙
Yeah. Sorry, I've been busy.
嗯 看出来了
Yeah. I can see that.
好吧 听着蒂姆 我们是约会过一次
Okay, Tim, we went on a date.
也就那么一次而已
One.
我没必要给你回短♥信♥ 我们之间什么都算不上
I don't have to text you back. We're not like a thing.
好吧 我只是…
Okay. I just...
那个 我以为上次我们在一起玩得还蛮开心的
You know, I figured we had a nice time.
是你觉得开心
You had a nice time.
我觉得简直是悲哀
I was miserable.
谁会在第一次和女孩约会的时候 带她去赛百味
I mean, who takes their first date to Subway?
你的那话儿还没他们家的热狗长
It's not like you have a footlong.
碍着你什么事了
Does this look infected to you?
谁喝了我的酒
Someone drank my booze.
又没盖盖儿 还以为你不喝了呢
It's open!
是啊 当然
Yeah Of course
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
你这个小婊砸鬼鬼祟祟地
You sneaky little biotch.
说 他是谁
Who was it?
没谁
Nobody.
姐妹之间不应该有秘密
Sisters don't keep secrets.
真的没有
Seriously, it was nobody.
那好吧 但愿你那个“没谁”戴了套
Well, I hope nobody used a condom.
我可不想我们里面出个荡♥妇♥
We don't want somebody looking like a whore.
谢了 丹妮尔 多谢关心
Thanks, Danielle. Super helpful.
谁让咱是好姐妹呢
What are sisters for?
对了 别忘了宿舍午餐会
Oh, and don't forget. House meeting at lunch.
放心吧 死都忘不了
Living for it.
某人总算是回来了
She finally rolls in.
我昨天晚上是不是又出糗了
Did I totally embarrass myself last night?
没有的事儿
Not at all.
也就是
Unless you consider
在桌子上狂歌♥乱舞 打了两场架
dancing on a table, starting two fights,
把椒盐脆饼块吐的到处都是
and barfing pretzel chunks all over the bar embarrassing.
快告诉我这不是真的
Please, tell me you're kidding.
还有 你昨天还和尼克西姆斯上演了一场法式深吻真人秀
Oh, and you also rammed your tongue down Nick Sims' throat
就当着丹妮尔的面
right in front of Danielle.
天啊 不过她刚才还关心我来着
Oh, God, but she was so nice to me this morning.
是啊 估计她昨天也喝高了
Yeah, I think she was as drunk as you last night.
就当是集体失忆吧
So, consider it collective amnesia.
老天保佑
Thank God for that.
我的天 糟糕
Oh, crap.
上课要迟到了
I'm so late for class.
我的书呢
Can't find my damn book!
别以为你不说我就不知道
Did you really think you could keep it a secret from me?
你是怎么发现的
How did you find out?
驾照上有出生日期
Driver's license.
另外 那张证件照真不咋地
Not the best picture, I might add.
我的手♥机♥铃♥声♥也是你改的吧
I assume you changed my ringer too.
我吗
Who me?
绝对不是我
Never.
许的什么愿
What'd you wish for?
换个室友
A new roommate.
天真
Wench.
我好不容易才学会做的
I made that from scratch!
对不起啦 蛋糕热量太高了
Sorry, too many carbs.
拜拜
Toodles.
对这种物质的活性响应水平检测表明
Locomotive response in the subject shows
存在量子平面的加速现象
an acceleration across quantum plane.
这导致了部分显正价β碳离子
This creates greater orbital overlap
和显负价羟基对之间
between the partially positive beta carbon
存在着大量分子轨道交叠
and the partially negative hydrogen alkalI group.
谢谢
Thanks.
大赛在即 弘扬校风
Get your school spirit on before the big game.
学生证9折
10% off with your student ID.
都听明白了吗
Okay?
此外 我们还要进行今年的慈善项目遴选
And we still need to pick this year's charity.
就目前而言
I can say right now,
我们不能再举办
There's no way we're doing
面向残障人士的艺展活动了
the special needs art fair again.
我简直是吓尿了
Totally freaked my shit out.
你们说呢
Thoughts?
怎么啦
What's wrong?
我也不知道
Oh, I don't know...
你说说 小树
What's wrong, Tree?
也没什么
Nothing.
也就是你把一份猫女郎自助餐摆在我们桌子上了
Except for that cat lady buffet you just dumped at our table.
我没看错吧 那是巧克力牛奶吗
And is that chocolate milk I see?
我还没吃早餐呢
I missed breakfast.
世界上有早餐这种东西存在吗 贝基
What is breakfast, Becky?
- 混♥蛋♥– 对不起
- Asshole! - I'm sorry.
对不起 小树
I'm sorry, Tree.
等等 你们俩认识吗
Wait, you two know each other?
- 是的 – 不认识
- Yeah. - No!
我们俩 去年修过同一门课
We had uh, a class together last year.
我是来把这个还给你的
Look, I was bringing you this back.
抱歉 我不知道你住在哪儿
Sorry, I didn't know where you live.
我…
You know, I...
好吧 真的很抱歉给你添麻烦了
Yeah. I'm sorry again about the- the mess.
真够人♥渣♥的
What a douchebag.