古宅老友记：2021圣诞特别集（2021）

不不，往下一点
No, no. Down a bit. Down.
不，必须齐头高 - 我觉得这个词很冒犯人
No, it has to be at head height. Erm, I find that term offensive.
往下 - 对称有那么难吗？ - 金属丝呢？
Down! Is symmetry too much to ask? Where's the tinsel?
各位，安静点，喔…
Guys, please! Whoa!
完了
Oh, no.
完蛋了 -我错过了什么？
Oh, no. Ooh. - Guys, what did I miss?
是什么好事吗？
Is it a good thing?
我确信圣诞老人希望被人这么铭记
Yes, I'm sure that's how St Nicholas would wish to be remembered!
那是什么？ - 听我解释
What the heck is that? Oh, I know, I know.
凯蒂在我找灯的时候发现了它，她说，
Kitty spotted it when I was looking for lights and she was like,
拜托*∞
please*∞
行行行，我知道了
OK, I get it. I get it.
是他
It's him!
凯瑟琳，我向你保证，圣诞老人他…
Catherine, I assure you that Father Christmas
不是真…
is not re-e-e-e-ally
的会在
in the habit
平安夜前出现
of appearing before Christmas Eve.
我是说，你看到的是他的一个在执行侦察任务的精灵
I mean, I think what you saw was one of his elves on a reconnaissance mission
到...到...在主要行动前侦察地形
to...to...to recce the terrain before the primary operation.
我觉得你有点太天马行空了
I think you might be letting your imagination run away with you.
能被你的玉手抚摸是范妮的荣幸
Lucky Fanny, to be touched up by such a hand.
一会儿换你
I'll do you next!
我？肖像？
Me? A portrait?
这是我渴望已久的时刻
Oh, how I longed to be painted in life.
真是一份圣诞大礼，谢谢你，艾莉森
What a Christmas gift that will be! Thank you, Alison.
不， 我… - 那么，既然麦克的亲戚今年没法过来
No, I... So, what with Mike's family not coming this year,
我想也许你想参与我们的节日传统
I thought maybe you'd like to get involved with one of our festive traditions.
巴顿庄园圣诞小测验
The Button House Christmas quiz!
是的是的
Yes, yes.
老实说，今年我们只想过一个安静想和的圣诞节
To be honest, we just really want a nice, quiet Christmas this year.
就我和麦克，没有…
Just me and Mike, without...
我会降低问题难度
Oh, I'll keep the questions light.
比如“上校名字叫什么”之类的
It could be something as easy as what's the Captain's name?
还有进步空间，没事
We can revise. It's fine.
但要说下，他的名字叫…
But for the record, his name is...
怎么回事？
What on earth?!
什么…？
What the...?
谁放那的？
Mm. Who put that there?
打扰一下
Erm, excuse me...
狗啊！
Dog!
艾莉森，帐篷里有狗！
Alison! Dog in a tent!
那是帐篷 - 嗯 - 那是狗
That's a tent. Yeah. And that's a dog.
我看的见
Yeah, I get it.
要敲门吗？ - 帐篷怎么敲？
Do we knock? How do you knock a tent?
你干什么？- 你又在干什么？
What are YOU doing?- What are YOU doing?
我在听Talk Sport
I'm listening to Talk Sport.
不，我是说你在我家花♥园♥做什么
No, what are you doing in our garden?
这又没围栏
Is this is not a field? -
这不是重点，你这是非法入侵 - 麦克
That's not the point. You're trespassing. Mike...
好吧，请不要报…
Right, yeah. OK. Well, don't tell the...
别告诉任何人，好吗，我这就走
you know, anyone. Yeah, all right, I'll go.
你有其他去处还是…？
Have you got somewhere to go to, or...?
其实没有 - 好吧，抱歉
Well, not really. Yeah, no. Yeah, of course. Sorry.
你不用这么急着走 - ？
Well, you don't have to go, like, this minute. No?
你今晚可以，呆在这
You can... you could, like, stay for tonight.
啥？ - 只能一晚，或者两晚
Yeah? Just one night. Or two.
那真是…谢谢你
Well, that would be... Thank you. Yeah.
我叫艾莉森，抱歉，这位是麦克 - 我叫圣诞老人
Well, I'm Alison, by the way. Sorry. This is Mike. Nicholas.
果然是他 - 不不不不
Of course it is! - No, no, no, no, no.
我留下，如果我在房♥子之前，那房♥子在我领地上
I stay. If I here before house, then house on my land.
哦，所以麦克和艾莉森是背篓
Ooh! So it's Mike and Alison would be the dress baskets!
背篓，对，完全没错
Dress baskets. You see? Exactly.
真有意思
Yeah. Interesting. Mm.
几乎看不见它
Look, you can't even see it. Yeah.
但他还在那，在你的土地…我的…
But we still know it's there. On your land. My land.
我们的地盘上 - 我的地盘
Our land. My land!
听着，我不打算多管闲事
Look, I don't want to sound all "not in my back yard,"
但你不会希望自己的后院
but you really don't want one in your back yard.
或者前院，或者马厩，或者其他任何你自己的地盘上有其他人
Or front yard. Or stable yard. Or on any other land you own.
说的没错，这帮无业游民。纪律在哪？
Quite right. Layabout. I mean, where's the discipline?
骄傲在哪？
Where's the pride?
以前在伦贝劳斯后面有个骄傲游♥行♥
We had one behind Rumbelows back in the day. Yeah.
一群没礼貌的
Right potty mouth.
到处都是一坨坨的粉状物体
Chalky dog poos everywhere.
他们都这样
That's typical, I'm afraid.
要我说的话 - 又开始了
Well, if you want my opinion... Oh, here we go.
我认为你们很不公正，喜欢对别人评头论足
I think you're all being very unfair and judgmental.
什么？哪有 - 我们对造成这位先生现在处境
What? Well, we have absolutely no idea of the circumstances
的原因一无所知
that have led this gentleman to his current situation.
我有没有提过自己上个星期三
Did I mention that I happened to cross paths with Adelaide Pembroke
巧遇了阿德莱德·彭布罗克和他可爱的女儿费利西蒂
and her delightful daughter, Felicity Wednesday last?
然后 - 母亲
And... Mother...
好吧，没必要用那种语气
Well, there's no need to take that tone.
你又不知道我要说什么
You had no idea what I was about to say.
费利西蒂要结婚了
Felicity's getting married.
不，不是
No, actually.
好吧，是的 - 母亲，我拒绝卷入…
But, yes, as it happens. Mother. I refuse to be drawn into...
比你小七岁的
Seven years your junior,
格拉迪斯刚和一个爵士步入婚姻殿堂
and Gladys just strides into matrimony with a lord.
同样的话题 - 爵士啊！
..the same conversation... Lord!
我为费利西蒂·彭布罗克和她的母亲感到非常高兴
I am utterly delighted for Felicity Pembroke and her mother.
愿他们的笑容像他们的思想一样灿烂
May their smiles be as bright as their minds are dim.
范妮 - 在那个幸运的家里肯定从不谈正规教育
Fanny! How fortunate that the topic of formal education never arose
毕竟彭布罗克家五代女人里
in that household, since no Pembroke woman in five generations
没有一个会算十以内的加减法
has had the mental capacity to count the fingers on one hand!
斯蒂芬妮，数学领域交给男人就行了
Stephanie, the field of mathematics is well served already by men.
我能帮父亲经商
I could help Father with the business!
我还… - 你父亲完全有能力管理好自己的财务
Your father is perfectly capable of managing his own financial affairs.
布罗德威克先生和儿子在门口了，夫人
Messrs Broadwick and Son are at the door, Ma'am.
哦，他儿子
Ooh! Son...
法警，太太
Bailiffs, Ma'am.
喏，从这里能看见 - 看不清
See? You can see it from the house. Barely.
我都不用这房♥间
We don't even use this room.
这是什么房♥间来着？
What even is this room?
这是我的房♥间！
It is my room!
哦… - 我认为你是对的
Oh... I suppose you're right.
在那待几天 - 对啊，也就几天
A couple of days there. Yeah, exactly. A couple of days.
然后就能回到我们舒适的库珀圣诞节，在火堆旁
And then we'll be back to our cosy Cooper Christmas, just snuggling
依偎在一起，喝点小酒
by the fire with mistletoe, mulled wine.
你和我…
You and me...
两周后
咋还在
Still here!
哎
Yep.
那是…？我受够了
Is that...? Right, that's it.
哎我的天，麦克
Oh, my God! Mike...
怎么了？
What was it?
早上好 - 早上好，不对！
Morning! Morning. No!
你等下，等下，这是哪来的？
Excuse me! Excuse me, where has that come from?
一定要我说出来的话...屁♥股♥？
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say... a bottom?
你不会认为是我…
Well, I hope you're not suggesting that I...
不，我是说你的狗。对哦，你去哪…？
No! I mean, your dog. Actually, where do you...?
不对，我们在说你的狗 - 为什么是我的狗？
No, I mean your dog. But why MY dog?
你邻居就没有狗吗？
Haven't any of your other neighbours got dogs?
实际上，有很多
Oh! Well, yes, actually. It's got loads.
但这不是重点 - 这么说吧
But that's not the point. Well, there you go.
我向你保证，我每次都会捡起来
Cos let me assure you, I always bag it and bin it.
我一直都有看好自己的…
I keep a very tight leash on...
鲁迪？
Rudy?
鲁迪！
Rudy!
鲁迪？鲁道夫（圣诞老人的驯鹿）
Rudy? Rudolph!
艾莉森，上校