有关时间旅行的热门问题（2009）

时间旅行
Time travel.
如果你愿意 它能把你的脑袋变成意大利面
It'll turn your brain into spaghetti if you let it.
最好还是想都别想
Best not to think about it.
最好就把手上的活做完
Best just to get on with the job in hand,
那就是在敌人出生前干掉他们
Which is destroying the enemy before they're even born
免得他们有机会造成威胁
And have a chance to threaten us.
任何生物都可能是我们的目标
We're expecting any resistance to be light,
因为敌方的祖先还没有进化出大拇指
As the ancestors of our enemies have yet to evolve any thumbs,
或者是脊椎
Or indeed spines.
但这不能改变事实 那就是有一天
But that does not change the fact that they may one day
他们可能进化成能对我们构成威胁的物种
Evolve into a species that may pose a threat to us.
因此 我们将对他们降下死亡的烈火
And for that reason we are going to rain down a fiery death upon them,
以使他们星球的表面形成放射性的沙漠
That will turn the surface of their planet into a radioactive desert
因为我们是星际和平特种部队
Because we are the planetary peace corps
这就是我们的职责
And that is what we do!
现在
Now,
你们这些穿着尿布的混球们
Are you nappy-wearing motherfuckers ready to
做好了冲锋陷阵的准备吗
Lock and load and get it on?!
什么 不 不 不
What? No-no-no-no! Shh!
看 这根本就不是真枪
Look, it's not even a real gun! Ooh!
看看这些灯
Ooh! Look at all the lights!
-机舱剥离 -别哭了
- Liftoff. - Shut up!
由于技术问题
Due to technical difficulties,
星际之旅现在关闭 等候进一步通知
The star ride is closed until further notice.
由于技术问题
Due to technical difficulties,
星际之旅现在关闭 等候进一步通知
The star ride is closed until further notice.
恐龙馆 两人同行 一人免单
Two for one at Dinoburger.
恐龙馆 两人同行 一人免单
Two for one at Dinoburger.
这根本没意义 我们为什么要这么做
It doesn't even make any sense. Why would we do this?
托比 别又提起这个
Toby, don't start.
好吗 恐龙馆 两人同行 一人免单
All right, love? Two for one at Dinoburger.
我们在鼓励人们去吃恐龙 吃我们
We're encouraging people to eat dinosaurs, to eat us, you know.
-我们为什么要这样 -我们又不是真恐龙
- Why would we do that? - We're not real dinosaurs.
你应该穿成山顶洞人
we should be dressed as cavemen.
托比 你为什么总是这样
Tobe, why do you always do this?
你跟上了幽灵列车一样
You were the same on the ghost train.
这也不和逻辑 狼人和吸血鬼是天生的敌人
That wasn't logical, either. Werewolves and vampires are natural enemies.
他们不可能组队一起去袭击火车
There is no way they would team up to attack a train.
别想了
Stop thinking!
-好吧... -也别说话
- Yeah... - And talking!
事实上 你是对的
Yeah, you're right actually.
我们不能想太多
We can't think much,
因为恐龙的大脑就跟胡桃般大小
Cos a dinosaur's brain is only the size of a walnut.
如果要谈话的话 那就会像...
As far as talking goes, it's just like...
托比 托比 托比
Tobe, Tobe, Toby!
够了 你要小心 不要太出格
Stop it! You want to be careful you don't get lost in the role.
我听说星际之旅那边有个人
I heard of this one guy over on the star ride.
真的以为自己是个星际漫游者
Actually thought he was a space ranger.
把一群孩子吓坏了 他们炒了他
Traumatised a load of kids. They sacked him.
雷 刚刚没看到你
Oh, hello, Ray. Didn't see you there.
皮特 托比
Pete. Tobe.
-反正也不是什么好工作 -是啊
- It was a crappy job, anyway. - Yeah.
-废物 -这话出自穿成恐龙的男人
- Loser. - Says the man dressed as a dinosaur.
那你打算怎么办
So, what are you gonna do?
不知道 我在考虑搬回家住
I don't know. I was thinking about maybe moving back home,
-接受我叔叔的工作 -为什么你想这么做
- Taking that job at my uncle's place. - Why do you wanna do that?
-我们能帮你再找份工作 -哪儿
- We can get you another job here. - Where?
巴里·波普的泡泡之旅 在那儿很容易找到工作
Barry Burp's bubble ride? Get you a job there easy.
高调换率 因为容易让氯水进眼睛
High turnover cos of the chlorine in the eyes.
这可真诱人
It is tempting.
但生活应该有比穿成泡泡更有意义的事
But there should be more to life than dressing up as a bubble.
或许是现实点的时候了
Maybe it's time to get real.
那么...
So...
在理想世界 你最理想的工作是什么
In an ideal world, what would be your perfect job?
-不知道 开漫画店 -拜托 有点创意
- I don't know. Comic shop? - Oh, come on. Think bigger.
宇航员?
Astronaut?
还不错
Yeah, cool!
但我是说你绝对梦想的工作
But I mean your absolute dream job?
我是说 如果...没有限制
I mean, if there was... no limit.
没有限制?
No limits?
那很显然
Well, it's obvious.
就是时间领主
It's got to be time lord.
我就说吧 用了多久
Oh, come to daddy! Ooh. What's that?
-4分32秒 -这不公平 你引导他的
- Four minutes, 32. - That's bollocks. You led him on.
-什么意思 -我们打了个赌
- What's this? - It's a bet.
他认为你在5分钟内就会提到时间旅行
He reckons you'll mention time travel in under five minutes.
你们拿我打赌?
You're making bets on me?
在我失业的日子 你们拿我打赌?
On the day I get fired, you're making bets on me?
他想出来的 我可不想的
He did. I didn't want to.
我也谈了别的啊
I do talk about other things.
什么 比如空幻?
What? Like sky-fi?
多少次了 不是空幻 皮特 是科学幻想
How many times? It's not "sci-fi", Pete, it's "science fiction",
或者科幻 也代表着充满思考的幻想
Or "sf", which can also stand for "speculative fiction".
天啊 难怪你找不到女朋友
Jesus. And you wonder why you can't get laid.
我找得到
I can!
真的
I do.
有些女孩也喜欢科幻
Some girls are into science fiction.
看吧 这是你的问题 雷
You see, that's your problem, Ray.
你梦想中的女孩就是自己
Your ideal girl is you.
有咪♥咪♥的
With tits.
事实上 你梦中的女孩是他
In fact, your ideal girl is him.
给我闭嘴
I object to that!
这部电影太烂了 应该有人写影评抱怨
Now that was a shit film. Someone should write and complain.
"亲爱的好莱坞 你是一砣屎"
"Dear Hollywood, you're shit."
要拍一部不那么烂的电影很难吗
How hard can it be to make a film that doesn't suck?
我有很多好主意
I've got millions of great ideas.
-比如? -什么
- Like what? - What?
来吧 我想听听你的好主意
Come on, I wanna hear one of your great ideas.
好吧
Ok.
好
Right.
准备好大吃一惊吧
Prepare to be amazed.
忍♥者岳得尔歌♥手
Ninja Yodeller.
你刚刚是不是 随口说了无关的词 托比
Are you just, like, saying random words, Tobe?
不 白天是岳得尔歌♥手
No. Yodeller by day,
晚上是忍♥者 明白了?
Ninja by night, you see?
是啊 因为如果反过来就会很白♥痴♥
Oh, yeah, because the other way around would be really stupid.
不 大家已经知道忍♥者是很安静的 对吧
No, you've got like ninjas who are really quiet, yeah?
岳得尔歌♥手 很聒噪 这就是角色冲突
Yodellers, really loud. There's a conflict for the character.
在两个世界中转换
Torn between two worlds.
他真的这么想
He's really thought about this.
有时候你会故意说很白♥痴♥的话
Ok, you know the way sometimes you come up with a really shit idea
来试探我们
Like on purpose, to try and test us out?
是吗
Yeah?
这次也是吗
Is this one?
是的 被你发现了
Yeah, you got me.
-差点骗过你 -还有他
- Nearly had you, though. - And him.
-是啊 -忍♥者岳得尔歌♥手
- Yeah. - Ninja Yodeller.
忍♥者岳得尔歌♥手
Ninja Yodeller.
你真实的剧本写得怎么样了
How is your real script going?
大部分都写在这儿了
I'm doing most of the work up here.
另外 每个作家都应该接触现实社会
Besides, every writer needs to get out in the real world.
多经历一些
Have some experiences,
才有新鲜的故事来丰富他的写作
Fresh ones, to enrich his work.
真的? 我以为作家就应该坐着好好写作
Really? I thought a writer needed to stay in and write.
那是创造力的永恒秘密
Yeah. That's the eternal enigma of creativity.
我们该讨论一下 去酒吧
We should discuss it. In the pub.
给我
Give me that.
你这个小偷
Oh, you thieving get!
-我说过了 -伟大的作家都偷东西
- I said that! - All great writers steal.
-雷说的? -什么
- Ray said that? - What?