神秘博士2015圣诞特别篇：瑞芙·桑恩的丈夫们

*倾听天使颂歌♥扬*
*Hark! The Herald Angels sing*
[人类殖民地]
门德拉斯·德洛拉
*荣耀归于新生王*
*Glory to the newborn king!*
*世间融洽慈爱生*
*Peace on earth and mercy mild*
圣诞节
5343年
*神与世人共相容*
*God and sinners reconciled*
*万物生灵欣高升*
*Joyful, all ye nations, rise*
*合吟天殿欢庆声*
*Join the triumph of the skies...*
公共电♥话♥亭
颂歌♥团来者必骂
什么都没啊
Nothing there.
应该是这个了
This must be it.
我头上有东西吗
Is there anything on my head?
-有 -描述下
- Er, well, yes. - Describe it.
你貌似有鹿角
Well, you've sort of got antlers.
-鹿角吗 -没错 鹿角
- Antlers? - Yes, antlers.
鹿角
Antlers!
你是一座时空机
You are a time-space machine!
你就是个交通工具
You're a vehicle!
我从没让你给我安个全息鹿角助兴
I've never asked you to cheer me up with hologrammatic antlers!
谢谢
Thank you.
需要帮助吗
Can I help you?
-你是医生吗 -差不多吧 怎么了
- Yes, are you the surgeon? - Close enough, why?
-你知道的 -我不知道
- Well, you know. - I don't know.
有急诊
There's a medical emergency.
那里会有人唱歌♥吗
Will there be singing?
-没有 -那就好
- No. - Fine, then.
我们不确定你会在哪降落
We weren't sure where you'd come down.
-什么 -你的太空舱
- Sorry? - In your capsule.
我从不确定 我也不喜欢事情太确定
I'm never sure. I don't like being sure about things.
上一刻你还很确定
One minute you're sure,
下一刻大家就都变成了蜥蜴 然后天降钢琴
the next everybody turns into lizards and a piano falls on you.
钢琴
A piano?
今天发生太多事了
It's been a long day.
你在等医生吗
Are you expecting a surgeon?
是什么急诊
So what's the medical emergency?
你没读协议吗
Didn't you read the agreement?
就在那
There it is.
-什么东西 -在那 就是那里
- What? - There, that's it.
那里是什么
That's what?
那个会飞的碟子啊
Oh, the flying saucer.
它是新的吗
Is that new?
来
Come on.
你花得时间够久啊
Well, you took your time.
抱歉 夫人 就是他了
Sorry, ma'am. This is him.
-他就是医生 -你好
- This is the surgeon. - Hello.
你和照片上不太一样
You don't look much like your pictures.
这个问题我一直都有
That's an ongoing problem for me.
他看着不怎么样啊
Doesn't look very impressive, does he?
纳多尔 你究竟带了个什么来我这
Nardole, what HAVE you brought to my doorstep?
我理了个发 还穿着我最好的西装
I've had a haircut, this is my best suit.
你这都不是西装
It's not even a suit.
-我认识你吗 -你肯定不认识
- Do I know you? - You most certainly do not.
现在你见到了我
And now that you've met me,
你要尽力忘掉我
you'll do your very best to forget me.
瑞雯
River!
你要叫宋博士
Oi! Dr Song to you.
有时是教授 但大多数时是博士
Sometimes Professor, but mainly Doctor.
不许直呼我的名字
Don't use my name. Ever.
-你怎么会认识我 -这有一丢丢复杂
- How do you know me? - Well, it's a tiny bit complicated.
-人们一般要用流程图解释 -无所谓了
- People usually need a flowchart. - It doesn't matter.
如果你们谁再直呼我的名字
If either of you use my name again,
我会按照字母顺序摘除你们的器官
I will remove your organs in alphabetical order.
-有问题吗 -哪种字母表
- Any questions? - Which alphabet?
抱歉 你其实不想听问题是吗
Sorry, you really didn't want these questions, did you?
这边
This way.
我们时间不多了
We don't have a lot of time.
-谁需要急诊 -我的丈夫
- What seems to be the problem? - My husband.
你的丈夫
Your husband?
你没看我发的消息吗 没错 我的丈夫
Didn't you read my message? My husband, yes.
我的丈夫生命垂危
My husband is dying.
有什么问题吗
Something wrong?
我觉得我需要一个大一点的流程图了
I think I'm going to need a bigger flowchart.
夫君 我回到您身边了
Husband, I return to you.
我的王后在哪里
Where is my queen?
我从未远离过您 吾爱
Never far from you, my love.
不 等等
No, wait.
那个是你丈夫
That's your husband?
听着 现在有四十亿人盯着你看
Listen, you are being watched by four billion people.
手持智能激光剑的武僧们已将你包围
You are surrounded by warrior monks with sentient laser swords,
他们被基因改造过 天生易怒
genetically engineered anger problems and not enough to do.
你最好一动不动 手放两侧
Best just stay still and keep your hands by your side.
别 等等...
No, wait...
-那是你的丈夫 -我的丈夫 你的病人
- THAT's your husband? - My husband, your patient.
海卓弗斯王
King Hydroflax.
他就是你嫁的人吗 不是别人吗
Yes, that's who you're married to, not anybody else?
吾爱 来见我 女人
My love, attend me, woman!
我飞奔向您
I fly to you.
有什么问题吗
Is there a problem?
好吧 所以你没认出我
Right, so you don't recognise me,then?
为什么我要认出你
Why would I recognise you?
没什么
Oh, no reason.
我不喜欢他 你喜欢他吗
I don't like him. Do you like him?
别双手抱胸
Don't cross your arms.
他躺着不动
He's a lying-down person.
我不喜欢躺着不动的人 太邋遢
I don't like lying-down people. It's so untidy.
照她说的 把手放两侧
Keep your arms by your side, like she said.
我的真爱
My one true love!
我一生中唯一的丈夫
The only husband I will ever have.
我和您相处的时日太短
My time with you has been too short.
你带给了我无尽的冒险
You have given me days of adventure and
和无数充满激♥情♥的夜晚
many nights of passion.
你为什么一直双手抱胸
Why d'you keep crossing them?
它们就爱这样 我天生双手抱胸
Because they cross, I've got cross arms.
终点将至 我能感受到
The end is near. I feel it.
原谅我 我的主人 我违背了您的命令
Forgive me, my lord. I have acted against your instructions.
-吾爱 -如果您今日亡故
- My love? - If you die this day,
全银河都将被泪水淹没
this galaxy will drown in tears.
看看他们 您的子民
Look at them - your people!
他们凝视 期盼 祈祷
They watch and hope and pray.
在这紧要关头 我遵从我的内心
With so much at stake, I followed my heart.
我违背了您的命令...
I disobeyed your orders...
找来了全银河最优秀的医生
and sent for the finest surgeon in the galaxy!
现如今 这个问题可能有些吓人
This might be an alarming question in the circumstance,
但是 你真的以为我是位医生 是吗
but... you really do think I'm a surgeon, don't you?
冷静 稳住
OK, calm down, keep it together.
别吓尿
Don't make puddles.
医生 来见你的病人
Surgeon. Attend your patient.
给点小提示 他是什么种族
Any tiny hint of species he might be?
我不知道
I don't know.
好吧 算了 你待着别动
OK, never mind, you just stay there.
你可能会需要个拖把
You're probably going to need a mop.
-鞠躬 -抱歉 什么
- Bow. - Sorry, what?
你来到尊贵的海卓弗斯王的御前
You are in the presence of his Infinite Majesty, King Hydroflax.
你要鞠躬
You will bow.
不要 抱歉 陛下 我做不到
Oh, no, I'm sorry, Your Majesty, I can't do that.
-你什么 -都怪我的后背
- You what? - It's my back.
-你的后背 -没错 我的后背在搞鬼
- Your back? - Yeah, my back's playing up.
它拒绝承受
It simply refuses to carry the weight
完全无谓的社会阶级之重
of an entirely pointless stratum of society
他对这个世界毫无贡献
who contribute nothing of worth to the world