奇趣马戏团：吸血鬼的助手（2009）

有时 生活就像
You know, sometimes it seems
被规划好的一样
like life is all planned out.
没有其他的选择
There's no choice in the matter.
无论喜欢与否 最终我们都将
We're all gonna end up in the same place,
长眠于地下
whether we like it or not.
不过有时事情也没那么简单
But sometimes things aren't so simple.
你可能伤害你最爱的人
You can end up hurting the people you love the most,
背叛你愿意帮助的人
Betraying the people you want to come through for.
我可不这样 那是我最好的朋友 斯蒂夫
That's not me. That's my best friend, Steve.
从三年级起我们就一直是好哥们
We've been best friends since third grade,
那时他揍了 比利·尤迪奇
When he punched this kid, Billy Utsch,
因为他用储物柜的门扇了我
for slamming a locker door on my head.
这才是我 我叫向达伦 这是我的故事
That's me. I'm Darren Shan, and this is my story.
说真的 在棺材里躺这么长时间
Oh, and, trust me, spending this much time in a coffin
可不是我计划的一部分
was never part of my plan.
或许我很幸运
Guess I'm just lucky.
吸血鬼助手
近来 我的日子过得不错
Up until recently, my life was pretty good.
够拉风了
I was popular enough.
我考得好 因为零用钱和成绩成正比
I got good grades, 'cause my allowance was tied to it.
A 我爱你 我爱你
A's! I love you. I love you.
好孩子 好孩子
That's the boy. That's the boy.
-嘿 -怎么样 D?
- Hey, you. - Boy. What's up, D?
我还有些很棒的哥们儿
And I had some cool friends.
还好吧
Hey, what's up?
不包括他
Uh, not including that dude.
五年级时我们还是朋友
I mean, we were friends in fifth grade,
后来他变神经了
but he'd become kind of a freak.
以前对我挺重要的
See, that used to matter to me.
生活中有件事比较疯狂 一个朋友
There was one thing in my life that was a bit insane, one friend.
我最好的朋友
My best friend.
-翘了吧 -什么
- Let's cut, all right? - What?
都到这儿了 就快上课了
No, we're here. Class is starting, man.
好了 同学们
All right, folks.
你们准备好了吗
What you got for me?
听着 我今天可忍♥受不了这个混♥蛋♥了
Okay, listen, I cannot deal with that jerk today.
完美先生 来吧
All right, Mr perfect, come on,
冒险 冒个险吧 来啊
take a risk. Take a risk. Come on!
我想搬去墨西哥 一起来吗
So,I'm thinking about moving to Mexico. You want to go?
当然了 不去干嘛
Yeah, sure. Why not?
你哪儿都不去 完美先生
Yeah, you're not going anywhere, Mr perfect.
该死
Oh, shit.
哥们儿 我打赌你从这儿
Hey, man, I bet you can't hit that
打不中那个灯
light from all the way back here.
什么 不 我们会被处分的
What? No, we're gonna get busted.
"斯蒂夫 我们会被处分的"
"Steve, we're gonna get busted."
拿稳石头 来啊
Rock. Come on.
所以冷战时期的核战阴影政策...
And so the Mutually Assured Destruction policy of the Cold War...
也就是 核禁
...was just that. Mad.
什么东西
What the heck is that?
真的很抱歉
I'm so sorry.
那个斯蒂夫 该死的斯蒂夫
It's that Steve. It's that damn Steve.
达伦有没有说他数学测验得了A
Did Darren tell you he got an A on his math test?
他说了 甜心 回房♥间去
Yes, he did, honey. Go to your room.
别再跟那个斯蒂夫做朋友了
You are not going to be friends with that Steve any more!
妈 我已经不小了
Mom, I'm not five years old.
你不能指定我跟谁交朋友
You can't tell me who I can and can't be friends with.
你前途光明
You are on a good path, 达伦,
斯蒂夫带着你偏离正途
And that Steve is knocking you right off that path.
-什么正途 -通往幸福美好生活的路
- What path? - The path to a happy, productive life.
上个好大学 找份好工作 组建自己的家庭
To a good college, a great job and a family of your own.
幸福美好生活 大学 工作 家庭
A happy, productive life. College, job, family!
大学 工作 家庭
College, job, family!
要是你很幸运的话 有天
And one day, if you're really lucky,
你还能站在这儿对你的孩子大吼大叫
You'll be standing here yelling at a teenager of your own!
大学 工作 家庭
College, job, family!
大学 工作 家庭
College, job, family!
大学 工作 家庭 并没那么难
College, job, family! It's not that hard!
达伦 你在听吗
Darren, are you listening?
等等 你...
So, wait. You...
什么 你答应你父母
What, you told your parents you're not
再也不跟我做朋友了
gonna be friends with me any more?
是答应了 不过那不算数
Yeah, but, I mean, it doesn't mean anything.
我们还是最好的哥们儿
We're still like best friends.
地下友谊吗
Okay, like what, secret best friends?
差不多吧
Yeah, kind of.
也不是 就像...
I mean, no, it's like...
-我不在意他们说什么 -扯淡
- Look, I don't care what they say. - Bullshit.
他们说什么你都在意 简直言听计从
You do care what they say. You do whatever they say.
你就是这样
That's just who you are.
你从来都不为自己或别人出头
You never stand up for yourself or anybody else.
或许你父母是对的
Maybe your parents are right.
或许你就不该跟我做朋友
Maybe you shouldn't be friends with me.
我一无是处 垃圾一个
I'm nothing. I'm garbage.
你不是垃圾
You're not garbage.
你是我哥们儿 最好的哥们儿
You're my friend. You're my best friend.
命运
怪客马戏团 只演一晚
"Cirque du Freak. One night only.
世上最棒的怪人秀
The world's greatest freak show.
"五百年" 搞什么
"Five hundred years." What the heck?
看起来炫极了
Dude, that looks awesome.
我去不了了 我被禁足两个月
I can't go, though. I'm grounded for two months.
是啊 我们也不再是朋友了
Right. And we're also not friends any more.
这是什么
What's this?
怪人秀? 这是违法的
A freak show? This is illegal.
希望你别去看这种东西
I hope you weren't thinking of attending this.
因为这种把一堆恶心的
Because the idea of taking a group of disgusting,
怪异的 残废的人弄在一起
weird, deformed people and exploiting
利用他们赚钱 还不在城里
them for money... not in our town.
估计班上是不会有人去的
I'm assuming no one in this class would actually go to this.
这样子的月亮会预示一些事情
You know that means something when the moon looks like that.
-我在书里... -关于吸血鬼的书吗
- I read about it... - In one of your vampire books?
我要解释一下
I should explain.
斯蒂夫痴迷吸血鬼
Steve was obsessed with vampires,
然而 我却钟情于蜘蛛
And I, on the other hand, was obsessed with spiders.
不知道为什么 这大概是
I don't know why. It was just like
与生俱来的喜好
it was in our blood or something.
"3秒后回来"?
"Back in three seconds"?
一 二 三 已经过了三秒了
One, two, three. It's been three seconds.
好吧
Okay.
大概是要付钱的
I guess they want money.
我买♥♥两张票
Hey, I need two tickets, please.
快点 我给钱了 把票给我
Hey, come on. I gave you the money, give me the ticket.
-天哪 -上帝啊 那是什么
- Holy crap! - God, what was that?
出来
Come on!
他不见了
And it's gone.
-你还好吧 -没事
- You okay? - Yeah.
有人吗
Hello?
你们满21岁了吗
Are you boys 21?
满21岁了吗
Are you 21?
说是
Say yes.
-是 -是
- Yeah. - Yeah.
好的 你们不会惊恐万分
Good. You don't have a tendency towards panic,
心脏骤停 或者极度焦虑 对吧
Sudden cardiac arrest or crippling anxiety, do you?
说不会
Say no.
-不会 -不会
- No. - No.
好吧
All right, then.
进去吧 表演就要开始了
Go ahead in. Show is about to start.
欢迎
Welcome.
欢迎光临怪客马戏团
Welcome to the Cirque du Freak,
西半球最古老的
The oldest continuously operating