糖果罐（2018）

看看他
Look at him.
看看他那张自以为是的嘴脸
Look at that smug look on his smug face.
他还以为他生来就该当总统的
He thinks the presidency is his birthright,
就像他是王位继承人似的
like he's the heir to the throne.
我管你妈是谁呢
I don't care who your mother is.
你只是想毁掉我进哈佛的机会 不是吗？
You just want to ruin my chances of getting into Harvard, don't you?
就像当初你把州长带来
Like when you brought in the governor
抢了我幼儿园毕业演讲的风头时一样
to upstage my kindergarten graduation speech.
但这次我不会让你挡我路 不会的
But I'm not gonna let you get in my way, not this time.
天啊 我恨死你了
God, do I detest you.
我讨厌你 班尼特拉塞尔 我鄙视你 班尼特拉塞尔
I loathe you, Bennett Russell. I despise you, Bennett Russell.
-我讨厌死你了… -还好吗 朗娜？
- I abhor you... - Isn't that right, Lona?
不好意思
I'm sorry?
你们的主席通常不是由投票决定的吗？
Isn't your president usually decided by a vote?
是的 但是由于我们的成员是偶数 所以我们不能投票
Yes, but since we have an even number of members, we cannot have a vote.
-你们有多少个成员？-2个
- Well, how many members do you have? - Two.
-呃 她和我 -她和我
- Uh, she and I. - Her and I.
-她和我 -他和我 我和我 总之就我们两个
- Her and myself. - Him and me, myself and I. We, two!
-我明白了 -他明白了
- I got it. - He gets it.
所以 应该优先考虑资历
Therefore, seniority should take precedent.
-我比她大一个月 -不 是资历 而不是年龄
- I'm a month older than she is. - No, seniority, not age.
我比他参加的活动更多
I've participated and placed in more total events than he has,
包括州锦标赛
including the state tournament.
我筹到的钱也比她筹到的多 包括我们的项目
I've also raised more money than she has for our program,
我们的学校和那栋可爱的大楼…
and for our school and for that lovely building...
你不能打着你妈妈的名号♥来给你自己铺路
You don't get to buy your way to the top with your mother's Rolodex.
这难道不是约翰逊先生的最终责任吗？
Isn't this ultimately Mr. Johnson's responsibility?
当然
Absolutely.
但他说 如果他做了这个决定 就会给我们社团带来压力
But he said that if he made the decision, it would cause tension in our club.
—纳尔逊校长 这是我们的… —共同主席
- Principal Nelson, this is our... - Co-presidents!
什么？
Co what?
联合主席
Co-presidents!
所以 跟以前不一样
Therefore, unlike years past,
你们俩最终要学会互相配合工作
the two of you will finally learn how to work together.
不 联合主席违背了唯一主席的原则
No! Co-presidents goes against the purpose of even having a president.
那好 那就没有主席
Fine. No president.
没有主席？
No president?
没有主席 联合主席 跟我一点关系都没有
No president, co-president, I don't give a damn.
一年后 我将在法国南部
A year from now, I'm gonna be in the south of France,
喝着浓香的 甘甜的 昂贵的咖啡 懂了吗？
sipping something strong, sweet and expensive, capiche?
不懂
No capiche.
朗娜 我没有精力也没有时间
Lona, I don't have the energy, I don't have the time.
直白说 我已经忘了你们是什么社团
Frankly, I've already forgotten what club you're here...
-辩论 -辩论
- Debate! - Debate!
去 出去 快走
Go. Out. Scram.
走
Shoo!
去和凯西谈谈
Go talk to Kathy.
校长纳尔逊知道我们有多讨厌对方
Principal Nelson knows how much we hate each other.
-他想要达到什么目的？-也许它会给你一个教训
- What is he trying to accomplish? - Maybe it'll teach you a lesson.
什么教训？
What lesson?
不知道 听起来就跟我说的一样
I don't know. Just sounded like the kind of thing I should say.
凯西 这是一种深仇大恨 我们之间没有任何共识
Kathy, this is a vehement hatred. There's nothing that we agree on.
-你们俩都不喜欢这种安排 -除此之外
- You both don't like the arrangement. - Besides that.
-你们俩都讨厌对方 -这一点用都没有
- And you both hate each other... - You're not helping.
你现在是主席之一
You are now one of the presidents.
把它写进你的哈佛申请里 然后继续努力
Put that in your little Harvard application and move on.
-为什么？-为你内心的渴望
- To what? - To whatever your heart desires.
凯西 我的心脏一个肌肉发达的器官 它能把血液输送到我的身体里
Kathy, my heart is a muscular organ that pumps blood through my body,
虽然有浪漫情怀 却与我的爱情生活毫无关系
and, although romanticized, has no bearing on my love life
-或者我的道德决定 -好吧
- or my moral decision-making. - All right.
让我换个说法
Let me rephrase.
你有带过谁回家吗？
You ask anybody to Homecoming yet?
没有
No.
我不是一个善于社交的人
I'm not a social person.
那又怎样？你以为我在等人约我出去？
So what? You think I waited around for some guy to ask me out?
不 先生 我有我自己的做事方式
No, sir. I got things done on my own terms.
看着我 我做的很好
And look at me, I did great.
不好意思
Sorry.
我最大的本事就是和人吵架 但对约会没啥用
My greatest skill is arguing with people. That's not date material.
如果你穿着晚礼服出现在舞会上
If you show up at that dance wearing a tux,
在那个有性别歧视的电视节目中 你会更有女人缘
you're gonna be approached by more ladies than that guy on that sexist TV show,
我甚至记不住名字
I can never remember the name.
它叫什么来着 那个有单身汉的？
What's it called, the one with the bachelor?
-单身汉 -就是那个
- The Bachelor. - That's the one.
我的意思是 为什么在高中谈恋爱呢？
I mean, but why have a relationship in high school?
你们会因为去了不同的大学而分道扬镳 这就是浪费时间
You wind up at different colleges, and then it was all a waste of time.
为什么你们不打算当工程师 却还学微积分呢？
Why do you guys take Calculus when you're not gonna become engineers?
因为微积分能教给你
Because Calculus teaches you to...
不管它教给你什么 这都无关紧要
Whatever it teaches you, it doesn't matter.
它给你提供了工具 对吧？
It gives you tools, right?
所以你的论点是我要成为一个更好的接吻者？
So your argument is that I'll become a better kisser?
不 我的论点……
No! My argument...
是的 等等 是的
Well, yes. Wait, yes!
我要讲的是长久的关系 但是接吻更好
I was gonna talk about lasting relationships, but kissing is better.
忘掉耶鲁吧 专注于成为一个更好的接吻者
Forget Yale. Focus on becoming a better kisser.
-你写下来了吗？-你要我写下来吗？
- Are you writing this down? - You want me to write it?
这个世界需要
The world needs good men
懂得接吻的男人
who know how to kiss.
我是认真的 你写下来了吗？
I'm dead serious. Are you writing this down?
-不 -你应该
- No! - Well, you should,
因为关系研究是金本位制
because Research Connection is the gold standard!
你甚至不能在那个网站上查找特定日期
You can't even do a date-specific search on that site,
-而且还要花一百多美元 -就50多美元
- and it's a hundred dollars more... - It's $50 more.
是啊 你用50美元的钞票擦屁♥股♥ 你当然说得轻巧
Yeah, easy for you to say when you wipe your ass with $50 bills.
但是对于我们这些没有机会享受奢侈的人来说
But for those of us who don't have the opportunity to have that luxury...
停
Stop!
别浪费我的时间
Not my tempo.
“别浪费我的时间”来吧
"Not my tempo." Come on, from Whiplash.
真的吗？没人看过？JK西蒙斯 他获得了奥斯卡奖
Really? Nobody saw it? JK Simmons. He won an Academy Award.
约翰逊先生 就像我说的
Mr. Johnson, as I was saying...
额外的50美元在我们的预算之内 朗娜
The extra 50 bucks is within our budget, Lona.
而且 你也不需要总提
And furthermore, there's no reason you should ever mention
你的同学预计的财富以及他们是否有能力
your fellow student's estimated wealth and whether they can or cannot afford
用任何一种货币来擦屁♥股♥
to wipe their butts with any type of currency.
约翰逊先生 这个网站很垃圾
Mr. Johnson, it's a terrible site.
我们每年只能订阅一个数据研究库
We only get to buy a subscription to one research database per year,
我们应该选择东法 它排名第一
and it should be East Law. It's ranked number one.
-是你和你妈妈说的？ -美国新闻这么报道的
- By you and your mom? - By U.S. News Report.
此外 我们必须节约资金
And besides, we have to conserve our funds,
泰勒和塔克才能得到他们需要的学习资源
so that Taylor and Tucker have the resources they need to learn.
谁？
Who?
泰勒和塔克今天下午加入了我们社团
Taylor and Tanner joined our club this afternoon.
他们应该有自己的想法
And they deserve to have an opinion.
民♥主♥就是民♥主♥ 就算他们无知 那也没关系
Democracy is democracy. It doesn't matter if they're uneducated.
-新来的 她的意思是新来的 -没什么区别
- New. She means new. - Same difference.
她的意思是新来的
She means new.
我们甚至不知道什么是数据研究库
We don't even know what a research database is.
你们俩都会做得很好
You both are going to do great.
现在 首先 这个团队需要一些新面孔
Now, first of all, this team needed some new faces,
显然也需要一种新态度
and apparently a new attitude.
其次如果我们今年能有所进展
Second of all, if we're gonna get anywhere this year,
你们两个必须达成一致 任何事情
you two have gotta agree on something, anything,
否则我发誓我会让这对双胞胎做共同主席
or I swear I'm gonna make the twins co-presidents.
班尼特说他筹到了资金？我是不是可以认为是他挨家挨户地敲门筹到的？
Bennett said he raised money? Am I to assume he went door to door?
因为他妈妈是装着口红的自动提款机 每次放屁都会放出来50支
Cause his mother's an ATM with lipstick who releases 50s every time she farts.
她是一位非常受欢迎的参议员
She's a very popular senator.
拜托
Please.
茱莉亚是州参议员
Julia's a state senator.
对我来说 她仍然是那个住在图书馆里的少年机器人
And to me, she's still the teenage robot who lived in the library.
嘿 我也住在图书馆里
Hey! I live in the library.