好了
Okay.
快点 快点 快点
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
天呐 天呐
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
快点 快点 再快点
Come on, let's go. Let's go, buddy.
快点 快点 动起来 来不及了
Come on, come on, we gotta move, we gotta move.
走你 走你 走你
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
不 不 不 不
No, no, no, no, no!
接住了
Gotcha!
我讨厌蛇 我讨厌蛇
I don't like it! I don't like it!
嘴巴 翅膀 尾巴
Beak! Wing! Tail!
肋骨
Ribs!
小丁丁
Giblets!
我飞起来了
I'm flying!
不对 依旧飞不起来
Nope, still can't fly.
简直无法置信
I cannot believe this.
吸气 吸气
Breathe, breathe.
食物链底层
Bottom feeder.
小菜一碟
Up and over!
不 不 别喊
No, no, no, no.
不要怕 我只是个小丑
Look. It's okay. I'm just a clown.
天呐
Oh, boy.
真是太...响亮了
That's a loud... loud...
你被我吓到了
You're very scared of me.
这里 过来这里
Here, come here.
不要 好吧 那就算了
Nope. Okay. Nope. Never mind.
破壳日快乐
Uh, happy hatchday!
嗨 伙计
Oh! Hi, pal.
迟到这么久你肯定对自己很失望吧
You must be so disappointed in yourself for being this late.
不 不 不
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
我没迟到 你看表
I'm not late. Look at the time.
订单上写着中午之前送到
See, the order said before noon.
好吧 现在你迟到了
Okay, now you're late.
-什么 -你去哪儿了
- What? - Where have you been?
你这么问很好笑 我
It's funny you ask. You see, I was...
你错过了派对
You missed the party.
-那是什么 -这个吗
- What is that? - Oh, that.
我坐到这盒子上了
Um, yes, see, I fell on the box.
这松鼠
Oh, the squirrel?
这是免费的
That's on us.
我竭尽全力拿稳盒子
You know, I tried to keep my body between the ground and the box,
但你懂的 我觉得我都有点淤青了
but, you know, I think I got a little bruise.
屁♥股♥上有东西吗
See anything back there?
听到了吗 亲爱的
Hear that, honey?
我们花钱请的小丑迟到了一小时
The clown we paid to be here
坐到咱儿子的破壳日蛋糕上了
an hour ago fell on our son's hatchday cake.
咱儿子的破壳日派对就这么被毁了
That's why our son's hatchday party is ruined!
下次你再搞砸 别给我编故事
And the next time you mess up, don't tell me a story,
承担责任就可以了
just take responsibility.
哥们 这不是编的
Hey, man, it wasn't a story.
"我是个起晚的麻烦精
"I'm a screwup that woke up late
还坐到了你买♥♥的东西上"
And fell on the thing you paid for!"
这不是编的 我差点淹死
It wasn't a story. I almost drowned.
我们这么解决吧
Why don't we just settle this out
-这蛋糕算到你头上 -你
- and say the cake's on you. - You.
抱歉 算我头上
I'm sorry, it's on me?
不然呢
Well, who else would it be on?
你知道吗 我...
Well, you know, I...
我不确定你会不会喜欢 但既然你说起
I'm not sure you're gonna like this, um, but since you asked.
与其像你说的算我头上
Rather than being on me, as you suggested,
还不如糊你身上
this cake is on you!
你不是想听故事吗
So, you wanna hear a story?
我一路疯跑 一点都不夸张
I run my butt off, literally, mind you,
去取"无麸质蛋糕"
to get the "Gluten-free cake."
麸质是什么鬼
What the heck is gluten?
真有麸质这玩意吗
I mean, does gluten even exist?
你是谁
Who are you?
滚出去
Get outta here!
这么快 可蛋糕可是在你身上
Already? But you're the only one that's had cake.
什么...
What...
真是好吃
Oh, that's good stuff.
有人想从老爸或老公身上搞点蛋糕吃吗
Anybody want to eat some cake off their dad or husband?
有了这货的脸谁还要盘子 对吧
Who needs plates when you got this guy's face, right?
等等 我差点忘了
Oh, wait. I almost forgot.
走之前 我应该做个简短的
You know, I'm supposed to do a quick customer satisfaction survey
客户满意度调查 可以吗
before I split, okay?
所以一星到三星
So, on a scale of one to three stars,
我的表现你们给几星
what would you say about my performance?
还有别忘了 这松鼠是
And don't forget, the squirrel was...
免费的...
...free...
-很抱歉 -不要啊
- Sorry about this! - No!
我的错
My bad.
恭喜
Congratulations!
是个男孩
It's a boy!
嘿 大浓眉
Hey, Eyebrows.
大浓眉
Eyebrows!
大浓眉
Eyebrows!
法官大人 我们家一直
Your Honor, our family has always
都采用自然破壳法
practiced natural childhatch.
孵化法的风险太高了
The risks of having a scrambled infant are too great.
他应该伴着音乐出生
There was going to be music,
鸟巢本来会铺满刚采摘的美丽鲜花
the nest was going to be full of beautiful, fresh-cut flowers.
他最先看到的本该是
And the first two faces he was going to see
他爸爸和他妈妈
were the loving faces
慈爱的脸庞
of his mother and his father.
那瞬间我们再也无法重来
We can never get that moment back.
女士 我从没想做你宝宝看到的第一人
Ma'am, I never wanted my face to be the first face your baby saw.
我们在这说些什么呢
I mean, what are we talking about here?
他可能都不记得我了
He probably doesn't even remember me.
爸爸
Daddy!
不 不 不 别说话
No, no, no. No. Shh. Shut up.
别说话
Shut up.
冷静点
Cool it.
女士们先生们 我是只有激♥情♥的鸟吗
Ladies and gentlemen, am I a passionate bird?
没错
Yes.
我的确做得不对
Guilty as can be.
那蛋糕很好吃
It was a quality cake.
我很努力地准时送到了
Look, I worked very hard to get it there on time
但他连尝都不要尝
and he wouldn't even try it!
大红先生 我们是个很幸福的鸟类社区
Mr. Red, we are a happy, happy bird community.
在无敌神鹰的保护下
Under the protection of Mighty Eagle,
我们工作 玩耍 欢笑 相爱
we work, we play, we laugh, we love,
我们的生活没有矛盾和冲突
and we live our lives free from conflict and strife, sir.
很显然我们也爱自己的声音
We love the sound of our own voice, too, evidently.
你可能从没听过这个笑话
Perhaps you never heard the joke,
"鸟儿们怎么不会飞"
"Why don't birds fly?"
我来告诉你为什么
I'm gonna tell you why.
因为这里就是天堂啊
Because where else would we ever wanna go?
我每次都被戳中笑点
It gets me every time, guys!
天啊 好冷
Wow! Not a good joke.
那么现在 我该如何处理你呢
So now, what am I to make of the likes of you?
看来你有个改不掉的毛病
There seems to be a recurring issue here.
愤怒
Anger.
我不觉得自己有易怒的问题
I don't think I have an anger issue.
我觉得你才有易怒的问题
I think you got an anger issue.
愤怒是生长在
Anger is a weed
我们花♥园♥里的杂草
growing in our garden.
有杂草怎么办
And what do you do when you find a weed?
我不知道 但我觉得你知道答案
I don't know, but I bet you're gonna tell me.
那就是把它拔掉
You pluck it out!
我滴神啊
Oh, my God.
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