初恋50次（2004）

夏威夷好玩吗？
So tell me. How was Hawaii?
太赞了 -是吗？
It was unbelievable. - Oh, yeah?
有艳遇啦？ -我遇到一个男人
Well, what happened? - I met this guy.
那是我此生最美的一周
It was the best week of my life.
一段浪漫的假期
It was just a little vacation romance.
他好温柔
But he was so sweet.
他带我到好多好玩的地方
He took me to all these cool local places.
我们去潜水...
We went scuba diving...
浮潜 -爬山
Snorkeling. - Mountain climbing.
悬崖跳水
我们喝醉了
Well, we got a little drunk.
他帮我... -擦背
He gave me... - A back rub.
我们深情拥舞...
We slow danced...
在雨中
in the rain.
这不只是性而已
But it wasn't just about the sex.
我俩没有别的关系 我们俩的关系只是性的关系
不过结束的有点怪
It ended kind of weird, though.
我跟他要电♥话♥，他却说他...
When I asked for his number, he said he's...
结婚了 -是同志
Married. - Gay.
正要投身宗教事业 -他不喜欢用电♥话♥
Entering the priesthood. - He doesn't believe in phones.
他就这样走了
He just kind of ran away.
这只是段露水姻缘...
You know, it was just a little fling, but...
但我永远忘不了他...
I won't forget my week...
罗亨利
with Henry Roth.
罗亨利 -小利利
Henry Roth. - Harry.
硬汉亨利
Harry Paratesticles.
罗亨利 -罗亨利
Henry Roth. - Henry Roth.
罗亨利 -罗亨利
Henry Roth. - Henry Roth.
亨利，为何不早说你是密探？
Henry Roth, why didn't you tell me you were a secret agent?
“情报员”比较好听 我不能随便跟你透露
I prefer intelligence operative, and I couldn't tell you until I knew you.
我回去能打电♥话♥给你吗？
Well, can I call you when I land?
行，但到时我已经在秘鲁了 我太大声了
You can call me, but I' II be in Peru. I said that a little loud.
总部，状况 野狼骑走，整夜狂飙
Come on, that's a 187, code blue. We got the wolf sleeping at night.
他从山林来越过原野 跨过小溪向前行，完毕
He's slipping his arm in the drawer and out comes the cookie jar. All clear.
明白？
Got it?
也许等你从秘鲁回来再打
Well, maybe when you get back from Peru.
我想那是不可能的，莉莎 -是琳达
I don't think that's an option, Lisa. - Linda.
我知道，我这是为了保护你
I know. I changed your name for your protection.
我们得分手了
We have to go our separate ways now.
再见了
Well, goodbye.
收到，马上来
Got it! Moving out!
你搞什么啊？ -继续骑，我给你二十块钱
What the hell is your problem? - Just keep going, I' II give you $20.
没问题，你的蛋没破吧？ -我痛毙了，全速前进
You got it. How's your balls? - Killing me. Hit it.
轻一点，大♥法♥师
‘Easy, Honah Lee.
我是人，不是海豹
Hey, I' m a person, not a seal
我是兽医，我专医动物 别乱动，再动就不帮你医了
Well, I am a vet, not a doctor. So just hold still, or I won't give you a treat.
痛吧，孩子们看好了
I know, it's okay. You see that, kids?
跟鲨鱼玩就会有这种下场
You see what happens when you play with sharks?
你别散播谣言 鲨鱼跟小狗一样
Now, why you gotta spread those lies? Sharks are like dogs.
乱碰他小♥弟♥弟♥，他就会咬你
They only bite when you touch their private parts.
我的纪录片可以用这标题
That's a good title for my documentary.
鲨鱼，碰他小弟就咬死你
Sharks: They Only Bite When You Touch Their Private Parts.
不然就用 “爱吃腰子的鲨鱼”
Or you could call it, Sharks: They Tried to Eat My Kidney.
别笑了，你也一样，小威
All right, enough already. You too, Willie.
你们全都一样
All of you.
他对我们下咒
He just cast a spell on us.
一天换药四次，持续两周
All right. Put this on four times a day for two weeks.
你自己可以换 -那只海龟怎么了？
You can handle that. - What's wrong with that turtle?
他的肺生病了 因为他抽太多大♥麻♥了...
Lung problems because he smoked too much turtle weed...
你也一样别抽了
...which is bad for you. Right, Ula?
干嘛？我又不抽大♥麻♥
What? I don't smoke weed.
大情圣，那个下港来的花痴妹呢？
Hey, Honah Lee? How's that hot wahine nympho from Ohio?
我今早在机场跟她分手了
Great. I dropped her off at the airport this morning.
拜托，说清楚一点
Come on, I need some details.
你摸过、爽过了？
You get some booby, some assy, a pull on your poi-poi? Come on.
阿爸，花痴是什么？
Daddy, what's a nympho?
花痴是花枝的一种
Oh. The nympho is the state bird of Ohio.
你还是大乌贼咧
You're the state idiot of Hawaii.
没错，小威 要大口吃鱼也要爱鱼
Here you go. Bite the fish, chew the fish, love the fish. Enjoy.
你真爱搞笑，大情圣 -是吗？
You crack me up, kamaaina. - Oh, yeah?
总有一天... -干嘛？
One of these days... - Yeah?
你会让来渡假的美女难以忘怀...
...you'll show one of those tourists such a good time...
她就会想留在这岛上
...she'll wanna stay on the island.
你干嘛说这么恐怖的话？
Why do you say mean things like that...
还把你的脏脚踏在我枕头上
...and why is your foot on my pillow?
屁♥股♥也不行，起来！
I don't want your ass on it, either. Get up! Get up!
这很有可能
It could happen.
然后你就不能驾船去阿♥拉♥斯加了
Then you won't be able to go on your boat trip to Alaska.
你会被卡在这里 跟我一样娶个老母猪
You'll be stuck here, waking up next to the same old, ugly broad, just like Ula.
开玩笑的啦 -你是说老还是母猪的部份？
Just kidding, guys. - About the old part or the ugly part?
医生，快来，肥仔病了！
Henry, come quickly! It's Jocko!
肥仔，你怎么了？
Jocko! What's going on with you, buddy?
别怕，不会有事的
Don't be scared. Everything's gonna be fine.
冷静点
Just stay calm. All right.
小威，别看，快出去！
Willie, I don't need you to see this. Get out of here, now!
检查一下池子的温度，快去！
Okay, check the temperature of the pool Go! Hurry!
你耍宝啊？去看温度计！
What are you doing? I meant check the thermometer!
帮我忙，快点！
Give me a hand. Let's go!
帮我拿两条鱼过来
Get me two fish from the barrel Now.
好 -忍♥着点
Okay. - Just hang in there.
来了 -不会有事的
Here. - It 's gonna be all right.
太温了，拿桶底的鱼
That's a little warm. Go to the bottom of the barrel, please.
很好，谢谢
Okay, there. That's good. Thank you.
来啊，吃下去
Come on, buddy, take it. Take it.
他没反应 -我知道啦
He's not responding! - I know, Alexa!
抱歉打了你 你要跟死鱼一样冷静，懂吗？
Sorry, I smacked you. You needed the fish-slap to calm down.
你够冷静吗？ -够，死鱼打醒了我
Do you understand? Are you calm? - Yes. Fish-slap calm me.
我要动手让他深呼吸...
I'm gonna try to get him breathing manually...
你把脸贴在他嘴旁注意动静
...so I need your face next to his mouth to see if it's working.
准备好了？ -好了
Are you ready? - Yes.
一、二、三 -没动静！
One, two, three! - Nothing, nothing!
好，再试一次 要是再没用，就动手术
All right! Try it again. If it doesn't work we'll perform a tracheotomy.
我们可不想那样，再来一次吧
We don't wanna do that, so let's pray this works. One more time.
一、二...
One, two...
吐的真多呢
That's a lot of vomit.
这就是我进这行的理由
This is why I got into this business.
要拯救海洋动物
To save sea animals.
你去洗个澡吧？
You should go wash yourself off, okay?
用姜汁洗，可以去腥味
Maybe try some turpentine. That might take the stink away.
干的好啊，兄弟
Yeah, high-five is right, buddy.
我知道你会打嗝，但吐就太猛了
I knew you were gonna burp, but the vomit thing was awesome!
这是她偷吃我三明治的下场
That's what she gets for eating my roast beef sandwich.
小威，你看到了吧？
Willie, did you see that?
船长日志，11月5日 清晨6点45分
Captain's log: November 5th, 6:45 a.m.
我驾着海蛇号♥到欧胡岛
I've taken the Sea Serpent for a trip around the island of Oahu.
这是它航行最远的一次...
It is by far the longest voyage she has yet underaken...
此次出航成功代表它已经...
...and its completion will signal that she's ready...
准备好航向布里斯托湾...
...for our great journey to Bristol Bay...
野生海象的栖息地 那里有数不清的...
...whose unspoiled walus habitat will yield an abundance of...
哇咧！
Damn it!
不会吧
Are you kidding me?
你好，帅哥，要点什么？
Aloha, honey. What can I get for you?
我想我就来杯咖啡吧
I guess I' II take a cup of coffee.
你想？ -我吃过早餐了
You guess? - Yeah, I already ate breakfast.
我只是在等人救援，帮忙拖船
I need to kill some time before the Coast Guard gets here to tow my boat.
你早餐吃了什么？
What did you eat?
花生巧克力加宝矿力
I had a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and some Gatorade.
那不算早餐，来个火腿蛋吧
They're not breakfast. I get you Spam and eggs.
大胖，来个火腿蛋
Nick, I need Spam and eggs.
嗨
Hey.
你喜欢花生巧克力？ -对
You like the peanut butter cups? - Yes.