极品基老伴（2013）

完了吗
All right?
您老抱好了吗
Are you all done with the hug now?
比克斯比夫人
Mrs Bixby?
比克斯比夫人!
Mrs Bixby!
额滴神呐
Oh, God! Oh...
维奥莱特
Violet!
维奥莱特
Violet!
亲爱的 等我一下
Oh, will you excuse me, darling?
给老子拿烟来
Bring me back cigarettes.
你好啊 米尔德里德 你真可爱
Oh, hello, Mildred. You look lovely.
-她听不见 -那敢情好 她看起来真糟心
- She can't hear you. - Good. Cos she looks awful.
-她睡着了吗 -准确说 没有
- Is she sleeping? - Not exactly.
-她昏过去了吗 -接近了
- Did she pass out? - You're getting warmer.
-噢 主啊 她该不会... -求你把她挪开
- Oh, good Lord! She's not...? - Please get her off me!
你俩闲唠什么呢 婚礼马上开始了
What are you two dawdling for? We're about to start.
恐怕 不祥之事
I'm afraid something rather
-发生了 -什么
- unpleasant has happened. - What?
她又放屁啦?
Oh. Is she farting again?
不 她升♥天♥了
No. She's dead!
噢 我的妈呀 你确定吗
Oh, no. Oh! Oh, God! Are you sure?
有次她从三楼掉下去 但是马上就弹起来了
She once fell out of a third-floor window and got right back up.
我百分百肯定 如果你不帮我把她挪开
I'm 100% sure and if you don't help get her
我就要惊声尖叫了
off me now I think I'm going to scream.
真能演
So dramatic.
真奇怪 这是我第一次碰她
Strange. That's the first time I've ever touched her.
嗷
Urgh!
感觉她还在我身上
It feels like she's still on me.
-我们得叫人 -不行
- We're going to have to call somebody. - No. We can't.
你什么意思
What do you mean?
让他妈妈看着他结婚 是斯图尔特的夙愿
Well, it's been Stuart's dream for his mother to see us married.
我们等仪式结束了再说
We'll have to wait till after the ceremony.
-不不 不能这样 -为什么不能
- No, no, we can't do that. - Why not?
因为这很恶心
Because it's icky.
听着 就说她几分钟之后死的 就酱
Look, we just say that she died a few minutes later, that's all.
噢...
Oh...
不然 斯图尔特玻璃心会碎的
Otherwise, it will break Stuart's heart.
弗雷迪 这样真的好吗
Oh, Freddie, I'm not sure about this.
必须这么做 小维 为了斯图尔特
We have to do it, Vi. For Stuart.
已经没有退路了
Well, there's no going back now.
艾什 我以为你现在
Ash, I thought you were
应该领着我妈到前排来
going to walk my mother down to the front row?
她...真的就喜欢待在那里
She... really wanted to stay where she was.
真的 她宁死不动
It's true. She was dead-set against moving.
你知道她有多顽固
Well, you know how stubborn she can be.
一旦下定决心
She won't budge
-她绝不让步 -这倒不假
- once she's made up her mind. - That's true.
斯图尔特 让我来整下你的领带
Stuart, let me just fix your tie.
好吧 够了 放开我
All right. That's enough. Get off me.
好的 来吧 我们开始吧
All right. Come on. Let's get this thing going.
相信你们已写好誓言了
I believe you both wrote your own vows.
哦对 我写好给维奥莱特拿着了
Oh, yes! I wrote them down and gave them to Violet to hold.
-把稿子给我 行吗 -对不起 亲爱的
- Can I have the paper, please? - Oh, I'm sorry, darling.
我把它落在厨房♥吧台上了
I left it on the kitchen counter.
我想起来了 旁边就是那些我忘寄的信
I can see it now - next to the letters I forgot to post
和解冻着的火腿
and a defrosting ham.
作为伴娘
As a matron of honour,
你真是一点用处都没有
you have been absolutely no frigging help at all.
好吧 那我们即兴发挥 我先来
Well, all right. Well, let's just wing it. I'll go first.
斯图尔特...
Stuart...
你是如此出类拔萃
you are the bee's knees.
换你了
Now you go.
这就完了
That was it?
-是的 -真是出其不意
- Yes. - It was rather abrupt.
好吧 咳 咳...
All right. Er... Er...
弗雷德 50年前
Freddie, 50 years ago,
当我初次遇到...
when I first met...
谢谢 真贴心
Thank you. Oh, that was sweet.
好了 该你了
Right. Now do your thing.
弗雷德里克·桑希尔
Frederick Thornhill,
你愿意接受这个男人做你的合法丈夫吗
do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?
我愿意
I do.
斯图尔特·比克斯比
And, Stuart Bixby,
你愿意接受这个人做你的合法丈夫吗
do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?
我愿意
I do.
-现在交换戒指 -快点儿
- And now for the rings. - Hurry up!
我们等会再交换
We'll do the rings later.
-先把它包起来吧 -好的 那么
- Just wrap it up. - Okay, then.
现在我宣布你们结为夫夫
I now pronounce you husband and husband.
你确定你还好吗
Are you sure you're all right?
是的 事实上 我...
Yes, actually, I'm...
还好
Okay.
我很开心
I'm just so happy that Mother
母亲能在去世前看到我结婚
was able to see me married before she passed on.
她一直等着你
She waited for you.
是的 那对我来说 一切都值了
She did and that means everything to me.
而且她生如夏花之绚烂 死如秋叶之静美
And she had such a good life.
也算长命百岁了
Well, a long one.
艾什 我记得你是最后一个和她讲话的人
Ash, I think you were the last person to talk to her.
你记得她临终的话吗
Can you remember her final words?
'你是小同志吗'
'Are you a little gay boy?'
-不知怎的 还挺应景 -我很欣慰你状态不错
- Seems fitting somehow. - I'm so glad you're all right.
是的 我真的还好
Yes, I am. Yeah, I really am.
这还真是个美丽的婚礼
Well, it was a beautiful ceremony.
而且看着两个男人结婚
And seeing two men married
并不像我想的那么奇怪
didn't look nearly as weird as I thought it would.
-真的 真的 -对我来说很奇怪
- Really. Really. - It did to me.
找到你了 过来 我们走
There you are. Come on. Let's get out of here.
再呆一会儿吧 贾斯柏
Oh, let's stay a little longer, Jasper.
-那是... -那是她男人
- Oh, that's... - Oh, that's her husband.
再说 我们还没吃蛋糕呢
Besides, we haven't even had cake yet.
是啊 蛋糕在哪里 梅森
Oh, that's right. Where's the cake, Mason?
就快来了
It's coming.
它一到我就告诉你们
I'll let you know as soon as it's here.
我说了 我想走
I said, I want to go.
但我还有很多伴娘职责没完成
But I still have more maid of honour duties to fulfill.
-是大娘 -什么职责
- Matron. - What duties?
你啥都没干
You haven't done anything.
幕后英雄不显山露水 亲爱的
Well, it's all been behind the scenes, darling.
我一点也不吃惊 她真毫无用处
I'm not surprised. She's pretty useless.
来吧 我们走了
Now come on. We're going.
嘿
Hey!
什么事
Yeah?
不要和她那样讲话
Don't talk to her like that.
你又算哪根葱
And who the bloody hell are you?
我是她男朋友
I'm her boyfriend.
蛋糕来了
It's here.
至少没人会说我们的婚礼无聊
At least no-one would say our wedding was boring.
不敢相信 这么多年后
I can't believe, after all these years,
-我们是夫夫了 -我知道
- we're husbands. - I know.
感觉还是有点不一样的 对吧
It feels a bit different, doesn't it?
是啊
Yes, it does.
哎呀 我们忘了脱下巴尔塔扎尔的小礼服
Oh, look. We've forgotten to take off Balthazar's tiny tuxedo.
好了
There you go.
那些照片会看起来很搞笑
Those photos are going to look hilarious.
谢天谢地
And, thank God，
维奥莱特终于要离开那个臭男人了
Violet is finally going to leave that dreadful man.
她做一个蕾丝边应该会活得更好
She would have been much better off as a lesbian.
很多人会活得更好 真的
So many of them would, really.
艾什维护维奥莱特的样子
It was extremely chivalrous,
真有骑士精神 我替他骄傲
the way Ash defended her. I was very proud.